The Battle for the Sandwich

[The Clarinetist he/him]

I sprint to you. Once again, I do not grab the sandwich, but instead want to watch everything unfold.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

I stand up and do a random backflip for no reason.

[strmblsd he/him]

I eat a sandwich again but not the sandwich 

[The Stick]

I stand next to the sandwich and open a sandwich shop next to it.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I eat at The Sticks sandwich shop and comment on the amazingness of the sandwiches. I then join The Clarinetist and offer him a sandwich from The Stick's shop as we both peacefully watch from the sidelines.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Meanwhile, I steal The Sandwich from Vyz while he's sleeping.

[strmblsd he/him]

I lick your hand making you drop the sandwich that I then grab and sprint away laughing like a maniac.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

I, now realizing that I don’t have my snuggly anymore, wake up immediately and go super saiyan. I run at almost Mach 1 to catch up to strmblsd.

[strmblsd he/him]

Because you were running so fast I stick my foot out and you trip in a very high speed epic faceplant.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

An instant replay appears. While everyone is distracted by it, I yoink the sandwich and carry it off to the 2nd dimension.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

I yoink the Sandwich from Nerdy as they fall into the 2nd dimension and seal them there. I teleport to the top of Mt. Everest with the Sandwich.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I teleport to the top of Mt. Everest but continue to just peacefully watch and continue to peacefully eat a sandwich from The Stick's sandwich shop.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I use Dr. Doof's Dimensionator to escape the second dimension, appearing right on top of Mt. Everest. I then sit down and prepare for a picnic.

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

I come tearing in flying a improved copy of M-Bot while listening to Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd at max volume (you can hear it outside), before light-lancing the sandwich and flying off. Then I hover, grab the sandwich, snap my fingers to repair the giant hole in it, and fly off again. 

[PianoSavant she/her]

On 5/22/2024 at 3:20 PM, NerdyAarakocra said:

*Screams in having read The Silmarillion*

Hey I’ve read that too!!!  

On 5/13/2024 at 10:06 PM, PianoSavant said:

I am confused and somewhat insane. I demonstrate this by mooing then cackling evilly as I throw rubber chickens at everyone. I ignore the sandwich

I finally stop throwing rubber chickens at people and put some in a blender. I then force-feed the liquified rubber chickens to everyone present - except the people on the sidelines, to whom I offer liquified rubber ducks instead - and grab the sandwich while everyone is writhing in disgust, deciding it will make a lovely hat for my imaginary pet penguin

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I gratefully accept liquified rubber ducks from PianoSavant and then spit it out. This makes me decide to stop sitting on the sidelines and watching because it's so disgusting. So I nuke you because why not and then grab the sandwich and then imagine an imaginary me imagining an imaginary me imagining an imaginary hat for my non-imaginary pet monkey, Jerome.

[PianoSavant she/her]

I say “whee”

[BlueWildRye he/him]

I watch as @PianoSavant gets hurled several thousand miles into outer space, then try to grab the sandwich out of @Unintelligenius's hands, but falls over dumbfounded when he starts saying the whole "imagining imagining" thing.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I ride Jerome, my space shark, into battle. I then attack Unintelligenius with a sword several times longer than my body length, which is incredibly ineffective. Realizing this, I grab a grappling hook, grapple the sandwich over to me, and leave riding my space octopus, Jerome.

[PianoSavant she/her]

I rename Jerome the space octopus Timothy and convince it to give me the sandwich

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I rename Timothy the space octopus back to Jerome and convince it to give me the sandwich instead.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

I run over and explode the entire earth, now turning into Baymax from Big Hero 6, and elongate my fingers to snatch the sandwich from Mickey Mouse and run off and trip. Then I realize this is all just a dream.

I wake up from my extremely weird dream and sprint after Nerdy and tell him that I’ll bet him twenty bucks that he won’t be able to get the sandwich in my hand in 1 minute. I also take note that an insane asylum would be nice in this place.

[Edema Rue she/her]

I (and the snail) realize that we really, really, really, really, want the sandwich. It's been a while. I distract both participants in the bet with 20 bucks, which I use to do the Indiana Jones swap with the sandwich. Then I run. 

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

1 hour ago, Vyzkel Willbender said:

I run over and explode the entire earth, now turning into Baymax from Big Hero 6, and elongate my fingers to snatch the sandwich from Mickey Mouse and run off and trip. Then I realize this is all just a dream.

I wake up from my extremely weird dream and sprint after Nerdy and tell him that I’ll bet him twenty bucks that he won’t be able to get the sandwich in my hand in 1 minute. I also take note that an insane asylum would be nice in this place.

I correct you, noting that I'm nonbinary and use they/them pronouns.

I then invite Edma Rue and @Immortal Platypus to lunch at that new restaurant downtown.

[Immortal Platypus]

16 minutes ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

I correct you, noting that I'm nonbinary and use they/them pronouns.

I then invite Edma Rue and @Immortal Platypus to lunch at that new restaurant downtown.

I HATH BEEN SUMMONED!

I politely accept the invitation.