The Battle for the Sandwich

[Soulbinder she/her]

I come surfing in on a wave of cabbages and grab the sandwich. In the distance, you hear an indignant cry of, "MY CABBAGES!!!"

[Lunamor she/her]

The cabbage merchant creates the Cabbage Corp and uses its power to takes the sandwich in revenge, bequeathing it unto me.

Edited March 8, 2024 by Lunamor

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

I menacingly walk over to Lunamor and demand that she give me the sandwich before snatching it and running to some random cave in the wilderness.

 

Menacing walk:

Spoiler

 

[Soulbinder she/her]

The cave belongs to a raccoon who jumps out of the shadows, snatches the sandwich, and runs off into the sunset.

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

I run after it, attempting to catch up, before I trip and fall. I fell in a stream and am now cold, wet, and angry. I pick up my phone and call the man himself… Chuck Norris. I ask him to get the sandwich for me and in return I will give him a better sandwich. Chuck Norris grabs the raccoon and brings both it and the sandwich back to me. True to my word, I make Master Norris the Delectable Masterpiece that is the Why Sandwich.

(It’s a sandwich with ham and turkey, Cheddar, American, Swiss, and Pepperjack cheeses, Lettuce, Tomato, Cucumbers, Onions, Pickles, Mayonaise, Mustard, Honey Mustard, all on top of some Goldminer’s sourdough bread from Kroger)

[Soulbinder she/her]

While you're busy crafting your sandwich, I steal the sandwich back using an invisibility cloak. 

 

[Lunamor she/her]

I use the Elder Wand to defeat you in a duel and take it back.

[LightRinger he/him]

I use the Elder Wand to fix my wand and steal the sandwich using a Niffler.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

I break the Elder Wand (yay) and since I have no idea what a 'Niffler' is, I steal the sandwich using a grappling hook.

[Lunamor she/her]

Newt Scamander lectures you about nifflers and I take the sandwich while he is distracting you.

[Soulbinder she/her]

Awkward Avoidance Viking clobbers you on the back of the head and takes the sandwich for himself.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Shoulder Angel convinces Awkward Avoidance Viking that what he did was wrong, so he gives the sandwich to me.

[Lunamor she/her]

Shoulder Devil manages to climb onto your shoulder after several minutes of struggling and convinces you to give the sandwich to me.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

I get Shawn Bradley to take the sandwich and walk away before the shoulder Angel can climb onto his shoulder

[Edema Rue she/her]

The snail slid onto the sandwich, twitching its eyestalks with glee. 

[Soulbinder she/her]

I get Mark Robert to engineer me a Sandwich-Grabber and take the sandwich for myself, accidentally dislodging a snail in the process

[Lunamor she/her]

I feel bad for the snail and make it a tasty replica sandwich. I then chuck a handful of glitter at Soulbinder and grab the sandwich when they drop it from the agony of glitter getting in their eyes.

[Immortal Platypus]

I briefly wonder who the heck Mark Robert is before I take the sandwich using the power of not having been on BftS in a long time.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

I also wonder who Mark Robert is as I steal the sandwich back using a magic premium popcorn bucket.

[Lunamor she/her]

I explain that he’s a former NASA engineer who now builds cool stuff on YouTube, and you give me the sandwich out of appreciation.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

I explain that that’s actually Mark Rober, not Mark Robert, and take sandwich as punishment for not reading more carefully. 

[Lunamor she/her]

I explain that the original mentioner of Mark Rober made a typo, as there is no other famous person who creates machines such as Sandwich-Grabbers. You give the sandwich back to me out of shame.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

I explain that I actually build stuff like that. You are humbled and give the sandwich to me. I make my escape.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Your escape.. which leads right into my trap!! A bear trap with plenty of jelly padding snaps around both of your feet, securing you tightly without causing you harm . And then I hit you over the head with a bat and take the Sandwich from your unconscious hands...

"Sorry!" I whisper, as I gently set one of those company fruit gift basket things atop your head and skedaddle away.

[Edema Rue she/her]

On 3/12/2024 at 11:36 AM, Lunamor said:

I feel bad for the snail and make it a tasty replica sandwich. I then chuck a handful of glitter at Soulbinder and grab the sandwich when they drop it from the agony of glitter getting in their eyes.

The snail accepts the replica sandwich, then flies through the air with the handful of glitter. Amidst all the arguing about Mark Rober, it helps Fat Gus steal the sandwich.

If you understand that reference, you're my favorite.