Aon tEhe Posted November 13, 2016 Report Share Posted November 13, 2016 (edited) Have you ever seen a picture of Helen Keller's dad...? No? That's ok, neither has she. Going vegetarian is a missed steak. A steak pun is a rare medium well done. Three guys are in a boat with 4 cigarettes, but nothing to light them. They toss one out, and the entire boat becomes one cigarette lighter. Whoever stole my Microsoft Office is in big trouble. You have my Word. Man, I can't how bad these puns are... I'm sorry... Edited November 14, 2016 by Aon tEhe spelling 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jondesu Posted November 17, 2016 Report Share Posted November 17, 2016 (edited) Can a ninja throw a star? Sure-he-can. 手裏剣 Edited November 17, 2016 by Jondesu 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elenion Posted November 17, 2016 Report Share Posted November 17, 2016 1 hour ago, Jondesu said: Can a ninja throw a star? Sure-he-can. *groans* Now that one was just bad. What do you call it when a ballerina falls into a lake? A pirou-WET! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird Posted December 1, 2016 Report Share Posted December 1, 2016 Today in the library I passed a guy wearing a sweater patterned with # symbols and I had to stop myself from telling him he looked sharp today. True story. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverblade5 Posted December 1, 2016 Report Share Posted December 1, 2016 In Juneau, Alaska, there's a library built on top of a parking garage. They call it higher learning. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zathoth Posted December 1, 2016 Report Share Posted December 1, 2016 4 hours ago, Ookla the Flighty said: Today in the library I passed a guy wearing a sweater patterned with # symbols and I had to stop myself from telling him he looked sharp today. True story. Im not sure if Im more frustrated at the pun or that you didnt say it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted December 2, 2016 Report Share Posted December 2, 2016 Harry held an oak wood wand He almost died a few times 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverblade5 Posted December 8, 2016 Report Share Posted December 8, 2016 You need to be thinking logically to be able to design a digital circuit. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mestiv Posted December 8, 2016 Report Share Posted December 8, 2016 1 hour ago, Silverblade5 said: You need to be thinking logically to be able to design a digital circuit. That's a nerdy one, have an upvote ^^ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverblade5 Posted December 9, 2016 Report Share Posted December 9, 2016 22 hours ago, Mestiv said: That's a nerdy one, have an upvote ^^ While on the subject of nerdy jokes no one gets: 2B or Not 2B 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird Posted December 9, 2016 Report Share Posted December 9, 2016 1 hour ago, Silverblade5 said: While on the subject of nerdy jokes no one gets: 2B or Not 2B If you're a prince of Denmark, Not 2B. If you're taking a bubble-sheet test, 2B. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soyperson Posted December 9, 2016 Report Share Posted December 9, 2016 5 hours ago, Silverblade5 said: While on the subject of nerdy jokes no one gets: 2B or Not 2B Sherlock Holmlet Something is afoul in the state of London, England 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird Posted December 12, 2016 Report Share Posted December 12, 2016 One of my female friends got engaged to a guy with the last name Sherwood, and I said if they have a son, they should name him Forest so that in alphabetized lists, his entry will read "Sherwood, Forest." 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Straw Posted December 13, 2016 Report Share Posted December 13, 2016 A Spanish magician said that he would disappear on the count of three, he said,"Ono, dos.." And disappeared without a tres. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sallin Zeras Posted December 13, 2016 Report Share Posted December 13, 2016 Odium: I love you, Tanavast! Honor: What? You're supposed to hate, Rayse Odium: Oh my Adonalsium! That was Shardcasm, Tanavast! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted December 13, 2016 Report Share Posted December 13, 2016 What do you call someone who takes the shard of Odium? Raysed I once did a theatrical performace using that pun. It was a play on words How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Straw Posted December 15, 2016 Report Share Posted December 15, 2016 My friend tried to cheat when we were bird watching so I told him that toucan play at that game. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JUQ Posted December 15, 2016 Report Share Posted December 15, 2016 How do we know tennis was played in the bible? Joseph served in Pharaoh's court I'll leave now. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkJester Posted January 11, 2017 Report Share Posted January 11, 2017 X.x Seriously guys... All of the bad puns on this site have corrupted me. I am completely serious when I say this. The wind was blowing hard here today. My wife looked up and saw some birds flying, and she said to me, "I wander how they can fly into the wind so easily." It was at this point that I smirked, adjusted my glasses and said to her, "I don't know. I guess they're just... Sparrowdinamic!" Yeah... She hit me... I swear. You guys and your cookie puns have Ruined me... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assassin in Burgundy Posted January 11, 2017 Report Share Posted January 11, 2017 How do you splinter a Shard? You ERayse them. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrikerEZ Posted January 11, 2017 Report Share Posted January 11, 2017 (edited) Two men walk into a bar. The first, one being a chemist, says, "I'll have some H20, please." The bartender gives him H2O. The second man, trying to act cool, says, "I'll have some H2O, too." The bartender gives him H2O as well, because he's not a murderous bartender that just so happens to have H2O2 handy. I wish I could do subscript, instead of having to write it out like that. Edited January 12, 2017 by StrikerEZ 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird Posted January 11, 2017 Report Share Posted January 11, 2017 7 hours ago, DarkJester said: X.x Seriously guys... All of the bad puns on this site have corrupted me. I am completely serious when I say this. The wind was blowing hard here today. My wife looked up and saw some birds flying, and she said to me, "I wander how they can fly into the wind so easily." It was at this point that I smirked, adjusted my glasses and said to her, "I don't know. I guess they're just... Sparrowdinamic!" Yeah... She hit me... I swear. You guys and your cookie puns have Ruined me... XD As a bird enthusiast, I LOVE this pun. I'll have to share it with my birder friends! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exalted Posted January 13, 2017 Report Share Posted January 13, 2017 Just thought I'd leave these here... (There are plenty more, but I figured three was enough.) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird Posted January 15, 2017 Report Share Posted January 15, 2017 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Budgie Posted January 15, 2017 Report Share Posted January 15, 2017 So, the other day I came up with ten new puns and decided to try out these puns on my friends, to see if any of the puns got a laugh. No pun in ten did. What did the door say when his baby girl was born? You're my door-ter. Okay, that's enough of that... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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