Aspiring Writer

Okay, I am ready for nobody to know what I'm talking about, but does anyone watch EFAP? The youtube Podcast? Headed by Mauler? Anyone?

No, and I never plan to. Never have I ever broken a bone. (Yes, I'm aware how unlikely that has happened in a forum for book nerds XD)

... so you didn't pay attention to her at first? How dare you, you heathen!

Screw you, man, that was a coward move and we hadn't even started. XD Also, welcome to the Shard. Hope you liked your first day!

Wayne is not the funniest character. That title goes to Breeze and Ham. Or Lift whenever she's around Daliner.

Yeah, but this is god-tier for thirty seconds. Not exactly comparable

Her jokes aren't that bad.

The only thing I can think of with orange is rust, which I always envision as somewhat an orange-brown. Other than that, I can only think that the reason is I don't see black as a color of Ruin, so my brain just picked a different color that I might equivocate with Ruin and decay. And yeah, I like being able to imagine the scene, but sometimes I need to put in the effort to imagine how they would actually look like and not what I think they look like, like with Atium. (Also wait, maybe it's because Atium starts with an A like Amber, which is also orange. Hmm.) I always imagined it white. Brown seems a little weird for preservation. Maybe grey, but brown makes me think more of Cultivation for some reason. My mind rejects the thought, similar to what I think when I see Honor as yellow. I don't know why my mind rejects it, but it does.

Questioner In Mistborn there's no flowers or anything. So how do they get dyes for their dresses and things? Brandon Sanderson It depends on the dye. Some come from animals like snails. Some are metallic. Or, metallic is the wrong term. From minerals like lapis and things like that. There are a lot of non-floral dyes out there, even in our world. And they had extra resources in that. You're welcome

I think you should not look at it like that. One can easily make one of these concepts look bad. Preservation, for instance, can be twisted into deciding it must preserve itself at all costs, which could end up making him decide to destroy everything else (Probably indirectly, seeing as Preservation's intention seems to prevent him from doing so, but the vessle's view of the sard can change it, so maybe if that's how you viewed preservation you could?) Cultivation could be made that she wants to weed out the weak and let the strong grow, survival of the fittest and all. So autonomy being the big bad isn't as odd as it seems. you can turn any of these concepts into a villain in the right circumstances and view. (Except maybe Harmony.)

I love the idea. You don't get the order you want, but the one you're most like, which for me is probably Lightweaver? Maybe, going on the quiz, but I'm pretty sure how I act in a game is very different from how I act in real life. SO yeah, hope they do that, because if they do, I am opening my wallet!

Okay, so we know a reason why you may have thought that, but where did the color orange come from for me? Did rust ever get correlated with ruin before Era two? because that could be a reason but I don't think ruin and rust ever came up in era 1

Again, so this was during my first read of my first series. I was not aware of the cosmere or anything at that point. I simply read those three books and thought, "orange"

If language shifted to the point where they needed to learn a new language, I'm sure there's an Aon that can give them a connection to speak their language like Daliner did. How the Aons would be affect, though, is interesting as they are very connected to both the geography and language people use.

Shard breathed in deeply as he surveyed the dimly lit tavern. which was a part of The Waystop Inn. He had on a midnight cloak, which contrasted with his starkly white hair. He had a sword scabbarded to his side, embroidered with runes that were no longer understood by man. In the corner near the hearth was a group of gamblers, betting on a game of cubes. There was a pair of men at another table, dressed with furs that distinguished them as trappers. A few people sat at the bar drinking wine and keeping to themselves Okay, so first off, try and reveal locations as smoothly and naturally as possible. This feels a little too exposition-ly. Remove the white hair description for now and put the sword there instead. Sounds better, especially since he is not looking at himself and noticing the contrast. That kind of description works better from someone else looking at him and thinking that. Also yeah, try and avoid characters describing some of their own features. Can be done, but it can also be awkward for them to think. (And yes, I'm aware this is a narrator saying all this, but It's just better for everything to sort of match the characters thoughts) Shard walked up to the bar and waited for the innkeeper to walk over. The innkeeper was not portly like others, almost like a twig for one could not afford such frivolities in the outskirts of Gredlow. He was slightly above average height, though still a few inches shorter than Shard, and wore the drab clothing that was commonplace in the outskirts of Gredlow. Okay, move 'to the outskirts of Gredlow' to the 'these parts'. It's the perfect place to drop the location name. The previous way seemed forced. And remember, this is the prologue. You don't have to name drop too much yet. It's okay to keep a mysterious tone. When describing the innkeeper. try and give some remark, build Shard character, or use some comparison to the other innkeeper. First option will start to show some personality, the second option will help with worldbuilding. “What would you like?” he grumbled, not paying him any attention. When Shard didn’t say anything, he looked up, finally noticed his white hair, and started. “Shard?” he exclaimed, a hint of anger showing in his eyes, “What are you doing here?! I should just kick you out and send the Hounds your way!” Shard gave him a pointed look. “You shouldn’t just toss around my name like that, Gred. I need to speak to you. Do you have a place where we can talk in private?” Okay, this might be a place to mention his white hair, seeing as it's an important detail of his appearance and would make him more recognizable to people and be the first thing they see... assuming that's special. I bolded it because I'm not sure if white hair is common in this universe. If it is, the line is useless. If not, it could work. Also, nice details calling law enforcement hounds. Adds a little color to your universe. Gred motioned towards a door on the wall next to the hearth, then picked up a mug and started cleaning it with a rag, ignoring Shard. Shard nodded and strode inside. The simple room had a table in the center with wooden chairs surrounding it. There was a hearth on one wall, though no fire was burning, as well as a door leading out on the other side of the room. After checking to make sure that the room was secure from prying ears, Shard sat down. Shortly after, Gred opened the door and walked in scowling. Overall good scene, but never say "Simple room". Ever. It sounds really bad, and the only way I can see it being used was from someone who is used to a higher standard of living using it as an almost an insult to the room. Either just remove it or say "the room was simple, with a table and wooden chairs surrounding it". It may not seem that big a deal, but I swear, that word choice makes all the difference. “I told you to never return to my inn after your last visit, Shard. I can’t have you giving me a bad reputation. Some of my customers might have recognized you. You’ll ruin my business.” “You didn’t help the situation by saying my name, you know. I wouldn’t have come here if I didn’t have to, and my last visit wasn’t quite as bad as you say.” Good so far. Implying past relationship and natural back and forth. “Oh, yes. I guess you burning down half of my inn is not 'that bad'? And what about my livestock, they were all set free because of you,” Gred hissed interrupted, jabbing a finger at Shard. He paused to breathe, then continued, “And that’s not all. It took years to make travelers comfortable with staying in my inn again.” Put quotations around not that bad so that way it sounds like he's mocking him or using his own words against him. Switch interrupted with hissed, it's more accurate, and technically Shard finished what he said before Gred started talking, so it's a bit confusing why you would say he interrupted. Also, you made a few spelling mistakes with breathe and travelers. Gred’s face hardened. “I haven’t seen him for more than a year. And even if I knew where he was, I wouldn’t tell you.” “Well, I guess I’ll just show myself out.” Shard stood up and walked to the door to leave. He paused at the door, waiting. “He’s in there,” Gred blurted, pointing toward the door that went deeper into the inn, “But I’m warning you, if you go in there you won’t come out alive.” Don't make him wait. Sounds awkward. Otherwise, it seems good. “Is that a threat?” “No. Just a promise.” Shard lips turned up slightly into a smile, and he walked across the room to the other door. Nice bit of personality with that smile. There was a long hallway on the other side of the door. Though the walls were bare, there was a carpet that led to a man sitting in a chair at the end of the hall. He wore a mop of greying hair, and had a sword sitting on his lap, one much more elaborate than the one on Shard’s hip. Shard strode forward, calling to the man ahead: all seems good, though I will ask you to think about what he was doing sitting there for so long “You are Kreen?” The man continued to stare forward with unseeing eyes. Once Shard stood in front of the man, his eyes snapped upward and met with Shards. “I am Kreen, but you cannot have that which you have come to take.” An arrow struck Shard in the back of his right shoulder. It hit just below the bone, lodging itself inside. Nice moment. Certainly unexpected. Shard did not feel any pain. He wheeled around to find his attacker, but saw no one. Another arrow hit him on his left shoulder, at the front this time. His eyes reached the doorway he had entered, and saw a man kneeling, holding a crossbow. The man was reloading another arrow, and behind him stood Gred, his face in shadow. Still good. Nice introduction of his power, though I will say there seems to be a slight confusion as to how he didn't see him when he already turned around. Shard reached down to grab his sword, but something blocked his hand. Another sword. Kreen’s sword. Protruding from his stomach chest. Shard grunted and crouched over, holding his stomach. He hoped that he hadn’t been too slow, lest someone watching would learn of his condition. The sword was removed from his chest and Kreen walked up behind Shard, whispering in his ear. Chest and stomach are different, and if he was stabbed in the chest, I don't believe it would block his hand. Other than that, nice job with making the protagonist use his powers in a clever way rather than making him just keep fighting without care. “You can never have this sword. I am the sacred keeper of this sword, handed down from father to son for generations, to be returned to the shadows when they return to Zaard once again.” Shard silently drew his own sword from his scabbard, out of view from Kreen. Then he drove it through his own heart, through his body, and into Kreen’s. Shard removed his sword from his chest and Kreen thudded to the floor behind him groaning quietly. Still going strong and quite the attention puller. Shard replaced his sword in its scabbard, then turned around and knelt down next to Kreen and whispered, “The shadows have returned, and they have come to take back what was stolen.” Shard yanked the arrows out of his shoulders and willed the injuries on his illusion of a body to close. He picked up Kreen’s sword and turned around. Gred was watching him from the shadow of the doorway, frozen with his mouth agape with surprise. Shard met his eyes. Then, he shifted into the realm of shadows. Again, no notes. You seem pretty good on those scenes with action but start to stutter when there isn't much going on. I suggest you be a little extra aware when writing those scenes, as those seem to be your weak point. Otherwise, quite interesting, you put in several world elements that would pull people in, the most interesting the surviving a sword stab, the illusion of a body, and the realm of shadow. Your back and forth between character is ok for the most part, thought the talk with Shard and Kreen was a bit awkward for some reason I cannot fully explain, but it's probably because of how they seem to be fairly confident in what their saying and what they say requires a bit of knowledge of what the hell they're talking about. I have not read Chap One yet, but I will be doing that one soon as well. And hey, since I ripped your story apart? Mind checking out mine? Sources of the Universe? Should be close to the top of the thread. Would appreciate it.

That very well may be, but it still makes sense as a possible reason as to why many Shards don't just smite people. The easiest people to smite aren't worth smiting, and the ones that are have massive ramifications that they need to be aware of and it removes and potential of using that person for your own ends. It seems simple to us with our omnipotent world view and hindsight, but it would actually be difficult to just remove someone by smiting them and then realize that you should have just left that person alive because he would have been useful later in a different event. Shards seeing people as beneath them may make them less likely to just smite anyone and everyone, but all of them seem to like the use of pawns in some way.

That's a bad example. Vin was at first his pawn and then a piece of information. I think the reason they don't smite them is that they can no longer manipulate them then. Yes, their working against them, but Ruin is clearly capable of manipulating them to do what he wants. Killing them may not have the best effect. that's Why he kept spiking them, for more direct control. Stop looking at it like a battlefield and more of a very intricate game of chess. Remove Vin? Loses pawn and possible information. Kill Elend? Someone else will take command who is possibly less able to be manipulated, will cause Vin to lose her mind and go into rage/depression, and other effects we may not even know, and he seems to be certain that he can manipulate him. Kill Yolen? He might put someone who is more likely to work with Elend. And that's without mentioning that him killing someone and an assassin killing someone is VERY different in how people will react. Goddamn it, why is it always my post that starts a second section!

That's the thing, I had the image in my head when I first read the series, which was years ago. I only got my hands on SH a few months ago. So I don't know where orange came from. (Also, imagine my reaction to that detail. I was like "Do I have access to fortune and just saw a glimpse of the future which said, ruin and red/orange are related?" XD)

I think in particular she was saying she didn't want to be Wax, which fits in with trying to get out of his shadow. That's why she gave the bands to him. It's nothing big, but it might just be the signifying moment where she decides, no, she isn't going to be Vin OR Wax. What?who she will be may come into play in the next book.

Okay, dude, I feel so bad for you, so I'm going to reply to this. So, that is an interesting theory, but why wouldn't the sword become like night blood, even if it used a different form of investiture? (P.S. You mentioned her blade being Nightblood 2.0, but everyone including Vivenna admitted it's weaker (She says it weaker than a shardblade, which are seen as weaker than Nightblood)) I guess we would have to see how awakening can work with other types of investiture, if that's even possible because breath awakens things because they are of endowment, so it might just be something we're assuming is possible but isn't, and if it is, I don't see why they re so different. Why does her blade not seem to absorb any type of investiture when in use? does it just not have to because it's weaker, or what? There is a lot of speculation we're doing with this, and while your theory is interesting, I think we need a little bit more information on either the blade or awakening with other types of investiture to say anything more/

Okay, I just need to see if I'm the only one who had this thought or knows why I have this thought. For some reason, during my reading of Mistborn Era 1, in my head, I started seeing Atium as orange rather than silver. This ended up carrying to when I thought of Ruin, orange was always in the back of my mind. And the odd thing is, I think I saw Atium is silver at first, then something changed that image in my head and I don't know what or why. Am I the only one? Has anyone else fallen to this or something similar, or is it just me?

Okay, Wayne not my favorite, but he is not Jar Jar. While his logic makes him look like an idiot, he is useful in a fight and at getting information. His backstory explained his PTSD fairly well, and I honestly started to like him when Melaan cam into the picture. They make a cute couple. I feel that after the journey she went on, being in law seemed less appealing to her. Who wouldn't feel like that? She is still different from Vin. She prefers less violent ways of getting things done but doesn't mind getting her hands dirty when she needs to. I also feel that she went into law because she wasn't sure she'd be accepted into the constables. After she handled herself against Miles, I think she decided that she should throw her hat in the ring. Yeah, her arc wasn't that developed in BoM, though that might be because she will be more of the main character in The Lost Metal (Wax is retired I believe in that book Can't remember when I read that). However, her giving up the bands does not contradict anything with her character, and she is starting to become more independent from Wax. The character is pretty consistent in the book actually, which is a bad thing, though it can be disappointing if you wanted to see her develop more.

Ah. Apologies.