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Going_North_cal

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  1. Going_North_cal

    EP update:

    i have decided after much deliberation not to record at a studio. rather i will record and produce myself at home to save money so that instead i can buy cosplay stuff for halloween/dragonsteel con.

    so ye

    still expect a December/January release, i’ll update yall if that changes. because lyrics are hard. and the instrumentals need tweaking. lots of it.

    1. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      Good luck!!

    2. Cinnamon

      Cinnamon

      Good luck :)

  2. Going_North_cal

    so there are some cool loops on soundtrap (my music making thing) and there’s a collection of ones that are all like the same vibe kinda but there’s a lot of area for creativity

    might make a small EP to keep you sated

    more info to come

    1. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      oooOOOOoooo...

  3. Going_North_cal

    guys i started a gofundme for my ep recording costs

     

    donate if you want ig

    https://gofund.me/836e32bf

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      I want to donate, but like- I don't have much money whatsoever... I might once I get paid, but idk. We'll see! I hope you can get funded, my friend!

    3. SmilingPanda19

      SmilingPanda19

      AHHHH LETS GO! WOOOAAAAHHH IM SO EXCITED MY MAN!

    4. Immortal Platypus

      Immortal Platypus

      I'M TOO POOR!!!!!!! *sigh*

  4. Going_North_cal
    an OC of mine whose details i need to hash out, but he’s from Era 2, but really likes the archaic post-Catacendre style of clothing. He’ll probably be a twin born, with Coinshot as his A, and i’ll figure out F at some point.
  5. Going_North_cal

    update on my EP

    i have one song ready to be demo recorded.

    one dialogue track ready to be demo recorded.

    i have two songs with short demo melodies that i need to expand upon for full instrumental demos, then write and tweak lyrics for a full demo recording of both.

     

    once all that’s done, and sprinkled in there i’d be working to get money to pay for recording studio time, i record at the studio, get those songs mixed, they come back to me, and i submit them for distribution.

     

    after all of that, we’re looking at a december/january release.

    im sorry it’s taking so long, but i really want this EP to be something i can be proud of. i’m going all out because i want this to be good.

    hope yall understand.

     

    daughters, dates, denial, and death

    coming December 2023 or January 2024

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ

      kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ

      YES CALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

    3. Cash67

      Cash67

      I want the music. 
       

      I WANT THE MUSIC

  6. Going_North_cal
    i got my patriarchal blessing like 2-3 weeks ago. i had not gotten it for like two years because i didn’t feel ready. but then i felt ready so i got it and it was LIT
  7. Going_North_cal

    Today I hung out with my friend.

    Me, being touch starved, asked for some attention and affection. My friend, who is amazing, graciously provided this in the form of back scratches and head scratches.

    My reaction after two minutes of this? Crying.

    Why? No damn clue.

    As far as I can tell after talking to her about it, my brain does not... love me. I, without fully realizing it, do not love myself.

    Perhaps that's why I try so hard to help other people love themselves, or ask other people to love me, is because... deep down, I don't love myself.

    Perhaps that's why I always let myself get sad, and why I'm so bad at accepting affection. Because when someone gives me affection... my brain is silently yet loudly screaming at me that I don't deserve it.

    Thinking on it, I can hear very clearly what my mind tells me in these moments.

    You can never be loved. No one can love you. You are ugly. Pale. Skinny. You're different. You're weird. You're annoying. You're alone because no one could ever love you. Everyone's affection is a lie.

    When I was held by my friend a few weeks ago? 15 minute panic attack, body tensed up, heaving, trying to breathe, and not being able to.

    When I was given affection today? Tears. Crying.

    My overall reaction to Luna breaking up with me...? ...Numb acceptance.

    Welcome to my life.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      Calano, your brain is lying to you. And I know it feels so real, and sometimes you think that maybe it’s right, that maybe you are screwing everything up, I know that it’s easier to believe that. And sometimes you don’t want to feel better until everything is better, only nothing will ever be better so what right do you have to feel better? 

      Our minds are powerful. Please, don’t let yours destroy you. You do so much good, even if you can’t make yourself believe it. You give so much love and you are loved back, even when you can’t see it. 

      <3

    3. kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ

      kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ

      Hey, cal.

      im sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling. i want you to know that I love you, even if you don’t love yourself. 
      have you ever tried meditation? journaling? I wonder if you could try and, when you’re having a hard thought, you could ask yourself “what would I say to a friend right now?” And then I wonder if you could say that thing to yourself.

      for a long time, I also struggled with self worth. One thing that’s helped me is “hacking” my dopamine. I’m sure you already know what it is, but in case anybody who reads this comment is unsure, that’s the brain’s reward chemical. it’s also the same chemical that causes addictions in some people. But that’s besides the point.

      one way you can “hack” your dopamine is by completing little tasks. this gives you a sense of accomplishment, and if you’re doing tasks that need doing anyway, it’s kind of killing two birds with one stone. meditation or breathing exercises also work well for me. Going on a short walk, talking to a loved one, or petting little toastie woastie is also a good way to do this. Really anything that makes you feel uplifted helps. 

      i really hope this kind of helps you. I want you to know your worth someday, even if that’s not right now. Because cal, you are so incredible. 

      love you, bro. <3

    4. Cash67

      Cash67

      We do care about you Calano. I don't have words, but I hope you feel us caring for you. 

  8. Going_North_cal
    Calano gave her a comforting squeeze of the hand. "Let the Light comfort you," He said, sensing her anxiety, "And me. I'm right here with you. Nothing will hurt you as long as I'm here." @The Wandering Wizard
  9. Going_North_cal

    the feels

    they do be hitting

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      Stabbing in the gut, in fact.

    3. Going_North_cal

      Going_North_cal

      ain’t that the truth

    4. That1Cellist

      That1Cellist

      The knife, a spiked key to the soul

  10. Going_North_cal
    sign me tf up where do i sign up
  11. Going_North_cal
    i’m going!!! im doing a mistborn cosplay, and i bought my VIP ticket the morning they went live super excited to go
  12. Going_North_cal

    eyo

    might be recording my EP at an actual recording studio B)

    1. The Aspiring Archivist

      The Aspiring Archivist

      ooh nice

    2. Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      oooooooooh can't wait.

    3. Morningtide

      Morningtide

      OOH awesome!! That's cool!

  13. Going_North_cal
    Calano turned from Emma for a moment. ”Yes?”
  14. Going_North_cal
  15. Going_North_cal
    “I am,” Calano responded, taking her hand. ”Everyone,” He said, interrupting their conversation, “Go to the clinic. Help the refugees settle in. Emma and I will go to finish this.” Calano waved a hand. A portal opened on the other side of the room. Through it was the pristine, familiar lobby of the Clinic, with Bookwyrm and Insa in sight within. ”Lead the way, my love,” Calano said to Emma, squeezing her hand. @Nameless* @The Wandering Wizard @The Aspiring Archivist @InfiniteInsanity @The Bookwyrm @Edema Ruh @Being of Cacophony
  16. Going_North_cal
  17. Going_North_cal

    just forced myself to listen to CSITM (my song that’s on spotify rn)

     

    it’s actually… not that bad.

    idk i’m actually kinda proud of it

    and like how it sounds

    slay :)

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Going_North_cal

      Going_North_cal

      aw thanks guys

    3. Wittles

      Wittles

      Looks like I'm late, but it's a really nice song, I really like it

    4. Cash67

      Cash67

      me needs link so I can listens

  18. Going_North_cal
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  21. Going_North_cal
    "I will do everything within my power to help you," Calano said, "I've just taken down the darkest entity known to have existed, and I now share the mantle of Creator equally with my wife. I will help you, and all will be forgiven."
  22. Going_North_cal
    Calano smiled, admiring the renewed light in Emma's eyes. "Good," Was all he said. "Now..." Calano said, turning to everyone, "We return to the new Clinic, settle in, and then... Emma and I destroy the last dregs of Kaos. After that... everything'll be mostly back to normal." Calano turned to Thaidakar, "I believe it was mentioned, but I don't remember. Please, tell me." Before Thaidakar started talking, Calano shot a quick message to Bookwyrm. We're on our way soon. Ready to see us again? @The Wandering Wizard @The Aspiring Archivist @Edema Ruh @Being of Cacophony @Thaidakar the Ghostblood @The Bookwyrm
  23. Going_North_cal

    how silly is it that i won yesterday by telling y’all  luna and i broke up lol.

    that’s so goofy silly:P

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Going_North_cal

      Going_North_cal

      i’m doin alright

      ive got good friends there for me

    3. Wittles

      Wittles

      Very goofy silly

      I'm glad you're doing okay

    4. Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      that's awesome, Calano. If you need anyone else to talk to, I'll be here as usual.

  24. Going_North_cal

    yes

    luna and i broke up

    it was on good terms, and we’re still friends, but

    we’re not romantically together anymore

    thanks y’all for asking if i’m okay. i am okay. a little hurt, pretty sad, but..

    i’m okay. and i’ll be okay.

    life’s different now, but i’ll get through it.

    and.. yeah.

    just wanted to let y’all know in case you hadn’t seen yet.

    im not mad at her. she gave incredibly logical reasons that i also agreed with, so it was a mutual parting of ways. please don’t bash on her or on our relationship or anything.

    thanks.

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. ThroughTheLivingSequence

      ThroughTheLivingSequence

      Oh dear, I'm so sorry. I'm glad you're okay though. I wish you the absolute best.

    3. Lego Mistborn

      Lego Mistborn

      I'm sorry Calano. I an imagine it hurts terribly. I am so glad you're both able to walk away peacefully, and I hope that both of you will be able to find love again.

    4. Cash67

      Cash67

      I just went thru the exact same scenario…. Gf and I broke up after both of us independently realized that the timing just wasn’t right. I feel for you Calano. 

  25. Going_North_cal
    gentlemen it’s been an honor but i am no longer a not-single-pringle. i am now a single pringle. it’s been an honor. until we meet again.
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