Going_North_cal

Just close your eyes and you'll find me.

Just close your eyes and you'll find me.

Just close your eyes and you'll find me.

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

Close those tired eyes.

And put that mind to rest.

You'll be safe in bed.

I'll hold you tight.

And you'll be loved tonight.

welcome back to another thrilling (or not so thrilling… just look at the time right now) installment of Romantic Late Night Thoughts with Calano!!!!!

tonight’s thought comes all the way from the Vision sector of Calanos mind, where he dreams of the future, specifically the one with his one love we all know so much about, the most beloved and lauded Luna!!!

the thought is as follows, in Calanos own words:

you and i, alone.

you and i and they, together.

a child. a son, or a daughter.

one to call my own.

to hold and to feel such love towards.

ah, to be able to call myself father.. it is a dream i did not realize i had.

but the little things with this child, and perhaps a sibling or two for them, are what come to mind.

you sit in the back of the car, on a day trip to the beach. you’re content with a book, your style, as usual, absolutely stunning.

i play in the sand with the kids. they laugh and play, building castles and giggling as the waves tickle their toes.

they pester me, however, about you. when will you come to play? when will mommy stop reading her book?

so i decide to “attack” you with them as my loyal soldiers. i detail the plan to my young loyal cadets. we strike from the front, a mad dash for the center, straight on with no fear or hesitation. we must be swift, we must be successful, and we must be sly.

our plan goes into action, and we dash to you. your peace with your book is rather rudely interrupted by kids clingier than even i, who beg for you to join them for a day in the sand.

you give me a look. this is my fault, and i know it.

but, regardless of your participatory protests, you give in. you give the kids the fun on the beach with mom they’ve been begging for all day.

castles, tickling waves, and many many giggles.

if this won’t be paradise when this day comes, i don’t know what will.

and that’s all for tonight, folks!! thanks for again tuning into Romantic Late Night Thoughts with Calano. we’ll see you all whenever we decided to air another episode.

thank you, and goodnight!!

*ahem*

if, in the event i suddenly and spontaneously die,

i want you all to know that you’re amazing, and i couldn’t have asked for a more wondrous and beautiful group of people to call my sanderfan family. i just love y’all.

memories by conan gray gives slow dancing while crying with a partner with whom you’ve fallen out of love.

officially ten percent done with the 720 things for Luna when i leave for my mission!!!!!

that means i’ve written now 72.

 it’s moving along steadily, and is actually quite easy and VERY fun :)))) 

someone better bombard me with Mistborn OC fanart for inspiration this very second or i will have to resort to crimes.

k thx bye.

Currently playing Minecraft and listening to Taylor Swift's Folklore (the latter at the persistent request of my coworker.

Vibin'.

Hey, you guys.

I'm sure some of you are wondering why I've not been writing, or roleplaying, or doing anything other than mostly doing SU's and replying to other people's SU's.

Truth be told, it's because I am depressed. Not clinical depression, but today I was prescribed medication that tackles both anxiety and depression. I love writing, and reading, and gaming, and playing guitar, and I want to annotate tWoK for Luna, and I want to clean my room so I can redo it.

But depression and anxiety symptoms, which presents as low overall energy a lot, no motivation to get up and do it, and general irritability and sadness, has gotten in the way of these things I love.

I pick up my medication later today, and start on it.

I should start to see recovery in these areas within a week or two, and full effects 2-4 weeks after that.

So, yeah.

Hopefully you should see more actual things from me soon.

luna came over when i was not here, and birthday-ified my room.

balloons. all over the floor.

each with 1-2 hi-chews, and every other balloon or so with a slip of paper.

in total there are about ~15-20 little notes.

less than 10 are date night cupons (which she has adorably misspelled as just that; cupons.)

and the other dozen-ish are all little love notes. little things, phrases, sentences, affirmations of her love.

i’ve spent the past half hour popping balloons (there were a lot), reading notes, excessively giggling (and happy crying), and just laying on the floor smiling.

i have fallen head over heels all over again.

a couple of the phrases, to give you an idea of what she wrote:

”you tell me beautiful words that weren’t made for people like me.”

”you have taught me a kinder way to say my own name.”

every note that i read, i would fabricate in my mind a little response. because i’m silly like that.

i will forever treasure all of these notes.

always. i’m thinking of putting them on a paper, all artsy like, and framing it.

but yeah. my future wife is amazing, i love her more than i can ever say, and she has given me the greatest birthday present ever.

wait i just found out that if you put together two flat pieces of metal in space, they’ll just friggin cold weld together

…..

what the hell

Songs im listening to rn:

Everything Stays - Adventure Time

Downfall - acloudyskye

September - Sparky Deathcap

broken - Jonah Kagen

I’m Ready - Adam Melchor

so here’s smth funny:

i’m good at words, yeah

but the funny thing ab being good at words is that before i can like use the words to write smth romantic, i just have random emotions and meanings of words floating around in my head like a damn storm cloud of absolute pure love and adoration for luna.

and then i condense a teeny tiny fraction of it into an incredible piece of writing.

 welcome to my headspace.

please leave, it’s scuffed in here. or stay, you’re welcome to do that as well. you can just chill with Kevin in the corner over there… no he doesn’t bite don’t worry.

I AM THE LORD RULER I AM THE LORD RULER I AM THE LORD RULER

this is one of my favorite things about Sundays:

they're the days i sit down at the computer, and spend an hour soaking up information from the Coppermind and Arcanum.

i love it.

I go now, into that blissful temporary period of black.

Goodnight, for a time, as I close my eyes and drift into nothing for a bit.

Farewell for the hour.