Alfa

We have only seen emeralds for Chasmfiend Hearts (the one on the hunt, the one Kaladin encounters and one Sadeas gets out of turn), but there isn't stated anywhere that there are only emeralds.

Granted, however the spikes are made out of people you loved or cared for. I wish for for a tree in fron of my window, so I can have a bit more of shadow in my room.

"I was holding a broken wooden figurine" sounded like a line from in-world TWoK

I finally managed to translate the first chapter. Much less gore, much more talking. I highly doubt if I will ever translate more, but we'll see: Chapter 1

On the Other Hand the Lightbringer Shardpool can lie beneath the Cerulean Sea or probably just secretly below the tower of the Drafters. Ask the old Guile, he probaly knows where it is. I propose the Idea that the "Bad Guy's" Shardpool lies somewhere in the Everdark Gates. Farther similarities are that the "seeds" strongly resemble Lerasium beads. And, at last, remember that Sanderson said, that if he dies before his time, he'd like Brent Weeks to finish his work. Probably Brent Weeks is already plotting for that case...

The Diary of Viktor Vau? Not sure if this one was ever translated into English

With time-travel such things as past and future turn even more subjective as they are.

The Way of Kings? (Talking about Dalinar and Nohadon)

That is much better, though it still feels a little bit like a cliché-story. Much less now, but I guess the residue of it will stay if there is a humans-"orcs"-war. I stumbled upon a couple of things, nothing major, but things that I think could be handled better: - the village Еlder is too calm. She gives the information with almost military precision. In my experience even slightly traumatized people, even if they are calm, start to tell things from the middle, going back to the start, then jump to the finish and end crying, so to say. It is possible, that she could say this; but still, I'm not convinced. Probably it could be better handled in the way "after interviewing the survivors the general started to put a picture together: The attack startewd with nightfall...". - the part with "tearing down houses as if searching for something" seemed far too analytical for me. I guess it is foreshadowing, but it could be handled like "They burned down houses. And afterwards they searched the ashes..." - timing. The army seems to be just one day after the barebloods - the villages are all freshly burned down within the last day -, but when the messenger reports it sounds as if the attacks started at least a week ago, and an army is, as you already said, a slow thing. I think that to express this there shall be reports of bareblood raids "at every point of the compass", refugees everywhere, famine, smoke columns on the horizon, such things. - The general himself. If its a kingdom with a feudal or semi-feudal structure, he must be at least a minor lord. It feels strange that in his mansion there are no workers, no servants, no grooms for his horses, no people to watch after the cattle; and that he has a workshop where he repairs things for himself. It is possible, but it is not exactly what to expect from a general, who is in field half a year. And, finally, I still miss any kind of a hook. The cliffhanger if the daughter is alife or not is not enough. That the barebloods carried the war to the hinterlands is... a kind of a strategy, also nothing very grasping. That they search for something? It certainly feels like foreshadowing, but I am not entirely convinced. In my opinion the very point of the prologue is to hook the reader that he won't go to the next book. Give us an idea why we should read this book, and why it is not another war novel with a bit of magic in it.

Second oath, to be precise.

First and foremost: I like the story in general and believe it very well written (I agree with most that was posted ubwards); but there are a few things that I stumbled upon. I don't think you should change them, but some in-story explanation would be good. - If it's Constantinople that's burning there, then this takes place around what? 1450? Wasn't Lucifer around quite some time at that point - or do Angels have the power to travel in time? If so that brings millions of other problems and paradoxa with it, but I am okay with it - except of one point: If they travel in time, why do they measure time in years? And does Heaven even have years in any way comparable to ours? - Hellas needs his time to go through the Void back to the Heaven, and Lucifer, recovering from a quite fierce attack, is there before him. Is that normal, or are there means unknown for Luciffer to travel between Earth and Heaven? If so, probably a short comment from Hellas would be better. - Heaven is attacked by an army. While the Host might be not very competent, it seems to me that it would be almost impossible not to see an approaching army right in front of the capital. Might have to do with Luicifer's magic, but still... Hellas seems to accept the army as given, which makes me ask why he isnt't asking how it came so fast here. - Hellas feels a bit to powerfull for my taste. He is incredibly powerfull at forging, etc. - while being not a problem per se, this can lead to problems with very one-sided combat (if there is combat), increasingly powerfull enemies (which in itself might also lead to the problem why lucifer didn't take them to his assault for a march-trough) or that he loses all his power at a critical point (which always occured as cheating to me). Invoke Sandersons Second law: Weaknesses are more important than Powers.

That's azish correctness.

That's actually a plot I'd like to read about. Might as well add a bit of the dramatic to it, like soulcasting the whole Aziran Archive into sugar and therefore starting the First Bureaucratic War.

It seems somehow odd to me that Kenton knows the word "magic" but not the word "mage". I know, it's another language, but won't it be better translated with one of its synonyms if you do not want it to have the same root? Of which the english language has plenty, by the way. Wizard, warlock, sorcerer, enchanter, for example.

Hello reading excuses! this is my first submission and my first serious attempt to write in english. The Demiurge story will be set in a SF/Fantasy-Universe with strong emphasis on SF. The plot is about... well, basically read the chapter, I think it's written condensed enough to see some basic plotlines. The style is somehow experimental and I didn't write much in it before - I hope you'll like it, if not, please let me know. Please also let me know if I used some words wrong; English is not native and not exactly intuitive to me. Important note: my clock was wrong, so the date in the email was incorrectly typed as 20160807

More or less, we don't know all ingredients. And... well, Earth does not have soulcasted meat.

I doubt Sadeas would land on the Skybreaker kill list since he technically did nothin unlawfull. The Windrunners woul've been even closer to killing Sadeas, since he did a long list of things which werew strictly wrong; and for Windrunners matters ony what is right and not the law.

Skybreakers seem to me as the very stormin' essence of following rules. Also - Kaladin as a skybreaker wouldn't end good, Kaladin would have died of depression. Twice.

Not me?

But serve them only with very delicious chull dung sauce, airsick lowlanders.

At least RJ started to view magic as a kind of natural force, which allows to make science with it (Sanderson perfected that apply to magic). Probably there were other authors before him who did it, I don't know. GRRM writes more in the pre-jordanian style.

Or simply Ex Machina (okay, that's a movie). So horrendously many insane AIs... One could argue that "maybe the AI is insane" is not strictly a bad description since it seems to describe far too many things at once and also describe them in a very general aspect.

I checked who else was mentioned in the chapter, there are also Amaram and Taln, both of whom don't really fit. But I have another thought - resurrection and the like being possible there is one more somehow easier explanation: Mraize is Jezrien. While the "man who owned the winds" fits to Tanavast, it fits to Jezrien much more. Also Mraize's appearance and manners are somehow regal, and - just like the other Heralds we've seen - he seems to be completely mad. Questionable is the point when he did stop sullying.

It seems to me that calamity usually does not even choose who gets powers, it's more of a random process, based on DNA. Calamity can circumvent this process by directly giving and taking powers, but the underlying process is not directly related to him. Otherwise in Firefight's core possibility there won't be any new epics.

Terminator? Matrix? AI?