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Posted (edited)

"I have little demons in my backpack" - misheard by @TheGreatSnail

 

Edit:

*eating a bag cereal* Mm, this is some good lettuce" - me when words

Edited by shortcake
Posted (edited)

Sometime, if I ever get pulled over by a cop and (s)he asks for my license and registration, I want to just hand them an Uno reverse card." -My cousin

Just now, Wittles of Shinovar said:

hehehe

I stand by that

my family's variation is "everything is legal if you don't get caught" :P 

Edited by Being of Cacophony
Posted
1 hour ago, Sequence said:

Where can I buy glittery gay juice? I would like to inhale some on purpose.

I want some too

Posted
1 hour ago, Sequence said:

Where can I buy glittery gay juice? I would like to inhale some on purpose.

you just put a ton of glitter into a cauldron and throw in some fruit and let it sit for 59 days then your good

Posted
10 minutes ago, TheGreatSnail said:

you just put a ton of glitter into a cauldron and throw in some fruit and let it sit for 59 days then your good

Nice!

Posted
2 hours ago, Robin Sedai said:

Not the cloning and incest!!!!! :lol:

- @Morningtide

Umm...

Just for peace of mind, can you add at least some context?

Posted (edited)
23 hours ago, The Bookwyrm said:

"I will sit on you." - @shortcake to @The last Fae in the Woods

Edit:

"Yes, I'm a nerd. Please forgive me." - Me

"Why would I forgive you?" - @InfiniteInsanity

 

Spoiler

hey! you didn't put the other ones!

"blender baby" - my friend when they misheard me

 

*yelling:* HEY! YOU! YEAH, YOU! *normally:* come here. *yelling:* I SAID COME HERE! *whispering:* Did you know that you can save 15%or more on car insurance with progressive?" - my friend who isnt on the shard

 

the teacher: " *with a carrot in his mouth* WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WHO'S BRITTNEY SPEARS?!?!' *plays Toxic over the speakers* NAME A WHITE GUY THAT DOESN'T LOSE HIS COOL WHENEVER THIS SONG COMES ON!!"

a student: "ME!"

the teacher: "oh."

- my TA teacher (i student-assist for a civics teacher who has the heart of a child (in a good way))

Edited by shortcake
Posted

Non-sharder friend: I didn't poop my pants! You threw a fork at me!

--

Me: *is just sitting there*

Different friend: *POINT* Atypical behaviour!

--

Me: I'm never alone! I've got the voices in my head to keep me company!

---

Friend: Argh! It's so PURPLE

--

Me: *chanting* BLEBS BLEBS BLEBS BLEBS BLEBS

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