Amazing Yet Stupid Things to Do With Breath

[Shard of Reading he/him]

2 minutes ago, Halyo_Alex said:

I imagine it'd be something like the Library of Babel on the internet here on earth; randomly generated text that could, in theory, spell something meaningful, but probably won't.

An infinite number of awakened papers writing for an infinite amount of time would eventually write out the complete works of shakespear...  

[Halyo_Alex he/him]

Just now, Shard of Reading said:

An infinite number of awakened papers writing for an infinite amount of time would eventually write out the complete works of shakespear...  

...In a universe where Shakespeare doesn't exist...

[Shard of Reading he/him]

Just now, Halyo_Alex said:

...In a universe where Shakespeare doesn't exist...

Hadn't thought of that. Oops.

[Halyo_Alex he/him]

Just now, Shard of Reading said:

Hadn't thought of that. Oops.

But it would happen! Just like we could find the "real" Way of Kings in the Library of Babel IRL!

[Shard of Reading he/him]

Just now, Halyo_Alex said:

But it would happen! Just like we could find the "real" Way of Kings in the Library of Babel IRL!

What is the library of babel?

[Halyo_Alex he/him]

1 minute ago, Shard of Reading said:

What is the library of babel?

It's a website that uses math to generate text predictably but randomly; you can search for your name and find whenever those letters happen to line up, for example. Gimme a minute and I'll see if I can find it.

Edit: Yep here it is: https://libraryofbabel.info/

Edited September 10, 2020 by Halyo_Alex
found the link

[Shard of Reading he/him]

2 minutes ago, Halyo_Alex said:

It's a website that uses math to generate text predictably but randomly; you can search for your name and find whenever those letters happen to line up, for example. Gimme a minute and I'll see if I can find it.

Edit: Yep here it is: https://libraryofbabel.info/

That's cool. I'll have to spend some time figuring out what it does.

[Halyo_Alex he/him]

23 minutes ago, Shard of Reading said:

That's cool. I'll have to spend some time figuring out what it does.

It does have an "about" page.

Edit: Ok after checking out the subreddit (the "forum" linked in the main page) I found a conlang for translating the random text into actual english sentences.

This is actually super clever. You could even reverse this and type coherent english thoughts in the "random text language" of the Library anywhere, as a sort of encryption.

Edited September 10, 2020 by Halyo_Alex
Found a Conlang to translate the random text

[trav]

can't think of anything better than giving it to a squirl corpse and command it to storm rust up royally.

maybe awaken a plant.

[Shard of Reading he/him]

On 9/18/2020 at 3:21 AM, trav said:

can't think of anything better than giving it to a squirl corpse and command it to storm rust up royally.

maybe awaken a plant.

But your an awakened object! Your supposed to know this stuff!

[Vessel of Theory he/him]

That's all great...

But we need to Awaken Wayne's hat. We're going to make it super "lucky" and do random stuff that'll confuse the heck out of him. Another idea: we give Wayne a defensive Nightblood hat that talks to him and people around him. The command, I think, would be similar to, "become as a shield for Wayne's head".

[Aspiring Writer]

Awaken your pants whenever your about to go for a run.

[HipsterStick he/him]

Awaken a stick.

Give it thousands upon thousands of breaths. Enough to give it sapience. Enough to make Vasher blush.

Then, when this god-like stick has been created, give your new stickish overlord the command to

Spoiler

Be a stick.

 

[Raphaborn]

Give Breaths to a book and give a Command to tell its own written contend. Magical audiobooks unlocked.

[Frustration]

7 minutes ago, Raphaborn said:

Give Breaths to a book and give a Command to tell its own written contend. Magical audiobooks unlocked.

*Harry Potter but it's written by AI flashbacks*

[Vessel of Theory he/him]

1 hour ago, Njvodin said:

doesn't it have aluminium in it? or is that Wax's hat hmm

 

It does not matter - we can replace it with one more easily Invested, then use our magics to remove all memories of it from Wayne's head before giving him the Hat of Omnipotence

[Vessel of Theory he/him]

7 hours ago, Njvodin said:

Or we could Awaken Marasi's handbag to never have what she wants unless she directly looks at it

like if you're moving your hand around in the bag, trying to feel around for something, the items in the bag move around, unless you stare directly at it

Haah! That's great  

She'd have to relearn the skill "searching your handbag" at the Constabulary.

[Tacitus]

A man made of rope- "Collect breath." (Type IV)

the Cosmere shudders as a cloth man runs around stealing any souls it can, determined to not stop until all breath belongs to it. 

 

*Becomes the vessel of Endowment via soul stealing*

Edited November 4, 2020 by Omi the Counselor
added rope man picture

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

Using Peacegiver the Blessed's treasure of breaths to spread Veganism throughout the Cosmere by creating an army of Awakened Vegetables.

Skirmishers: Awakened rutabagas wielding celery bows (the xylem fibers used as bowstring) firing dried enoki mushroom arrows. 

Heavy Infantry: Awakened Eggplants armored in plate mail made from the bracts of artichokes, wielding asparagus spears. 

Heavy Cavalry: Awakened cruxiate vegetable knights (broccoli and cauliflower) armed with carrot lances mounted on awakened horseradishes. 

Shock troops: Awakened flowers from The Devil's Hand tree, riding atop awakened Bhudda's Hand Citron fruits throwing age cured hard and spikey rambutan fruit. Kind of like Hannibal's elephants, omnivores won't know what hit 'em. 

Pictures of the components of the shock troops spoilered below. 

Spoiler

Flower from the Devil's Hand Tree

Bhudda's Hand Citron Fruit

Rambutan fruit

 

Edited November 5, 2020 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine

[Battium Bisting]

Bro If I had a couple thousand spare breath I could awaken metal so I would make a minecraft iron golem with bones on the inside like vasher's stone army.

[Frustration]

On 11/12/2020 at 7:26 AM, Battium Bisting said:

Bro If I had a couple thousand spare breath I could awaken metal so I would make a minecraft iron golem with bones on the inside like vasher's stone army.

FBI open up

[NameIess]

On 11/18/2020 at 6:11 PM, Frustration said:

FBI open up

*Iron golem smashes down the door from the inside and trashes the FBI*

[Frustration]

3 minutes ago, Nameless said:

*Iron golem smashes down the door from the inside and trashes the FBI*

Where are you getting a skeleton that size?

Edited November 20, 2020 by Frustration

[NameIess]

1 minute ago, Frustration said:

Where are you getting a skeleton that size?

Just dig up Goliath.

[Frustration]

9 minutes ago, Nameless said:

Just dig up Goliath.

..........

No matter, I have three blocks, your gollum is worthless!