Amazing Yet Stupid Things to Do With Breath

[Halyo_Alex he/him]

On 5/27/2020 at 7:18 AM, SirWolfe said:

Awaken the vegetable garden fence to keep non-human animals from entering the garden. You'll never have to worry about losing your tomato plants again. Or we might end up with a Nightblood-fence-thing that constantly wants to "destroy vermin", and eats the soul of whatever touches it. 

awaken the dirt with some command to make the crops grow better. actually wait that might not be stupid enough for  this thread.

[NameIess]

Give it out to random people and then post videos of their reactions on youtube.

[The Young Pyromancer he/him]

2 hours ago, Halyo_Alex said:

awaken the dirt with some command to make the crops grow better. actually wait that might not be stupid enough for  this thread.

Awakening is about letting stuff move.

Awakening a small patch of dirt's not gonna do much.

[Halyo_Alex he/him]

1 minute ago, The Young Pyromancer said:

Awakening is about letting stuff move.

Awakening a small patch of dirt's not gonna do much.

Make it move the nutrients to the roots of the plants like a circulatory system.

[The Young Pyromancer he/him]

I'm not sure if Nalthians knew enough about soil composition to visualize that.

[Naurock]

On 5/27/2020 at 10:18 AM, SirWolfe said:

Awaken the vegetable garden fence to keep non-human animals from entering the garden. You'll never have to worry about losing your tomato plants again. Or we might end up with a Nightblood-fence-thing that constantly wants to "destroy vermin", and eats the soul of whatever touches it. 

Plot twist: it throws your growing vegetables at vermin to keep them away because it misunderstood what it was protecting.

[The Young Pyromancer he/him]

Right, Winsting claimed. If anyone wants to counterclaim, please do so, or else I'll assume that this person is Winsting.

[Emerald_Mage he/him]

Awaken a piano, tell it to play music.

Is an instrument capable of knowing music on its own? I doubt it. Prepare for endless clashing chords.

[Shard of Reading he/him]

15 hours ago, The Young Pyromancer said:

Right, Winsting claimed. If anyone wants to counterclaim, please do so, or else I'll assume that this person is Winsting.

Um, I don't know why you put this here. I'm going to assume that was a mistake.

[Frustration]

It's like the hemalurgic beaver thread all over again, LIFELESS BEAVER!!!!

[Shard of Reading he/him]

Awaken a book and have it only be read by people who are "worthy"

[Enter a username]

No, Awaken everybody so that only worthy people can even know about the book!

[SirWolfe]

Awaken a mirror to shatter when a specific person tries to look into it. Sure, it's a waste of Breath, but it makes for a great prank.

[Enter a username]

Awaken all the person's windows/clocks/stuff like that (nothing too valuable) like that and watch their reaction. Then compensate them (preferably with new windows/clocks/etc.) for what you Awakened to break. 

[Cheat Commando he/him]

On 5/31/2020 at 8:55 PM, Emerald_Mage said:

Awaken a piano, tell it to play music.

Is an instrument capable of knowing music on its own? I doubt it. Prepare for endless clashing chords.

I would like to think that if the piano had been played by the same person for a long time, then when Awakened with the "Play music" Command, it would play the same stuff its owner used to play. 

If it's a brand new piano, then yes, clashing chords. Clashing chords everywhere.

[Kings_way he/they]

Awaken a fire extinguisher with the command to "stop fires" and then have it destroy your stove the next time you turn it on.

[Shard of Reading he/him]

3 hours ago, Kings_way said:

Awaken a fire extinguisher with the command to "stop fires" and then have it destroy your stove the next time you turn it on.

Ohhh.... That would be fun.

[Kings_way he/they]

I don't know if this is stupid enough, but you could awaken a burrito with the command to not let the fillings spill out.

Wait, it actually is stupid because it would waste a ton of breath as it doesn't look like a human, and then you eat it.

Unless you can take the breath back from inside your stomach. 

[Hoidolasium he/him]

On 7/9/2020 at 1:23 PM, Kings_way said:

Unless you can take the breath back from inside your stomach. 

As long as you imagine the burrito as a single burrito, or just don't chew.

[Channelknight Fadran]

On 6/24/2020 at 2:31 PM, Kings_way said:

Awaken a fire extinguisher with the command to "stop fires" and then have it destroy your stove the next time you turn it on.

"Stop fires that are not me."

*Flips hair*

[Halyo_Alex he/him]

2 hours ago, Channelknight Fadran said:

"Stop fires that are not me."

*Flips hair*

*catches on fire*

*is not extinguished*

yeah really smart

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

Awaken a teacher's classroom chair with the somewhat complicated command "Make farting noises when sat upon". A super covert awakened whoopee cushion.

[Koloss17 She/They]

Awaken an origami paper and tell it to unravel itself, so whenever someone tries to fold it, it just fails. Then you sell it in Fred and George’s  weasley wizard weezes...

 

or just give it to Hoid so you can infuriate him. Be a lerasium bead and things will go great.

Spoiler

 It will have to be before he has his own, though

Or better, bet microwave noodles.

[Shard of Reading he/him]

Awaken a paper to write itself. Watch it have no understanding of what the paper is supposed to be about.

[Halyo_Alex he/him]

On 9/9/2020 at 0:07 PM, Shard of Reading said:

Awaken a paper to write itself. Watch it have no understanding of what the paper is supposed to be about.

I imagine it'd be something like the Library of Babel on the internet here on earth; randomly generated text that could, in theory, spell something meaningful, but probably won't.