The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[NameIess]

In order to enact this revenge, he began researching the quickest way to die.

[Immortal Platypus]

11 hours ago, NameIess said:

Nameless didn't show up to court, surprisingly. He figured that it was unlikely that the courts would figure out how to actually punish him for his crimes.

Hacob suggested that he get to use Nameless' likeness whenever he wanted as compensation. The judge agreed to consider it, especially since Nameless was dead.

7 hours ago, Lunamor said:

Hacob's evil twin brother Jacob was angered by this, as he had been on jury duty and was forced to spend several days in court for nothing. He vowed to get revenge on Nameless.

Hacob was confused. Subversion had made him a twin? When? And how? Oh, it was probably a fake twin.

[NameIess]

7 minutes ago, Immortal Platypus said:

Hacob suggested that he get to use Nameless' likeness whenever he wanted as compensation. The judge agreed to consider it, especially since Nameless was dead.

Nameless’ lawyer disagreed vehemently with this, pointing out that Nameless’ likeness was currently owned by Subversion, not Nameless, and Subversion couldn’t be punished for Nameless’ crimes.

8 minutes ago, Immortal Platypus said:

Hacob was confused. Subversion had made him a twin? When? And how? Oh, it was probably a fake twin.

It was in fact a real twin, and Subversion hadn’t made him.

[Immortal Platypus]

4 hours ago, NameIess said:

Nameless’ lawyer disagreed vehemently with this, pointing out that Nameless’ likeness was currently owned by Subversion, not Nameless, and Subversion couldn’t be punished for Nameless’ crimes.

It was in fact a real twin, and Subversion hadn’t made him.

Hacob pointed out that it would not actually be punishment to Subversion as it wasn't her name and likeness, and she could continue to own his name and likeness, just with an agreement that Hacob could use it if he wished.

Hacob wasn't convinced that the twin was real. How could he have a twin?

[NameIess]

37 minutes ago, Immortal Platypus said:

Hacob pointed out that it would not actually be punishment to Subversion as it wasn't her name and likeness, and she could continue to own his name and likeness, just with an agreement that Hacob could use it if he wished.

Hacob wasn't convinced that the twin was real. How could he have a twin?

Subversion’s lawyer pointed out that it would harm Subversion’s business, which depended greatly on the royalties from Nameless’ books.

Subversion wondered how anyone could be real, pondering the mysteries of narration.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Tommy the Turtle sued for damages on behalf of Giendjah and Fqagdhsgak.

[NameIess]

This lawsuit went Nowhere.

[Immortal Platypus]

2 hours ago, NameIess said:

Subversion’s lawyer pointed out that it would harm Subversion’s business, which depended greatly on the royalties from Nameless’ books.

Subversion wondered how anyone could be real, pondering the mysteries of narration.

Hacob pointed out conflict of interest, having already talked to that lawyer about this plan, forcing the judge to stop them from participating in this case. Then he noted that he would be willing to give full royalties to Subversion, he just wanted to be able to write a silly book about Nameless.

Hacob didn't try to ponder narration, he went to try to find Jacob to prove he was fake.

1 hour ago, NameIess said:

This lawsuit went Nowhere.

Nowhere sent it back to the courts. He wasn't a judge.

[NameIess]

32 minutes ago, Immortal Platypus said:

Hacob pointed out conflict of interest, having already talked to that lawyer about this plan, forcing the judge to stop them from participating in this case. Then he noted that he would be willing to give full royalties to Subversion, he just wanted to be able to write a silly book about Nameless.

Hacob didn't try to ponder narration, he went to try to find Jacob to prove he was fake.

Nameless' lawyer pointed out that the court had absolutely no jurisdiction over what happened in the afterlife, unless they could, in accordance with Article XVI subsection LIV of the interthread legal code, prove it by reviving someone from the dead.

[Immortal Platypus]

2 hours ago, NameIess said:

Nameless' lawyer pointed out that the court had absolutely no jurisdiction over what happened in the afterlife, unless they could, in accordance with Article XVI subsection LIV of the interthread legal code, prove it by reviving someone from the dead.

Hacob pointed out that in matters related to one living being and any number of those deceased, this specific court (which Hacob had picked for exactly this reason) held jurisdiction over both life and afterlife in accordance with Article IVLI section MXLVI subsection b, which specifically stated that any contradictions to that clause were null and void. 

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

A squirrel infiltrated the courtroom.

[NameIess]

23 minutes ago, Immortal Platypus said:

Hacob pointed out that in matters related to one living being and any number of those deceased, this specific court (which Hacob had picked for exactly this reason) held jurisdiction over both life and afterlife in accordance with Article IVLI section MXLVI subsection b, which specifically stated that any contradictions to that clause were null and void. 

Nameless' lawyer pointed out that because Nameless was dead and hadn't spread any copies outside of the afterlife, there was no damage to Hacob, especially since Nameless' fanfiction didn't even include Hacob at all.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

The judge pronounced that Hacob would not be able to use Nameless' likeness nor take away the rights of those who had written it, based upon the principles of fair use (altered from the American fair use laws for the thread in the year 1838384 by a judge in the famous trial of Saint Myrr-Dar). 

[Immortal Platypus]

11 minutes ago, NameIess said:

Nameless' lawyer pointed out that because Nameless was dead and hadn't spread any copies outside of the afterlife, there was no damage to Hacob, especially since Nameless' fanfiction didn't even include Hacob at all.

Hacob pointed out where he was mentioned in line 32 of page 3. He also pointed out that as he knew of this, others in the realm of the living could as well. He had shown that it did cause damage to him and he filed another suit for libel.

5 minutes ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

The judge pronounced that Hacob would not be able to use Nameless' likeness nor take away the rights of those who had written it, based upon the principles of fair use (altered from the American fair use laws for the thread in the year 1838384 by a judge in the famous trial of Saint Myrr-Dar). 

Hacob looked at the judge. "Your honor, the defendant did not show up. That is a de facto win to myself. Therefore, I must receive a form of compensation. What will that be?"

Edited April 18, 2024 by Immortal Platypus

[NameIess]

7 minutes ago, Immortal Platypus said:

Hacob pointed out where he was mentioned in line 32 of page 3. He also pointed out that as he knew of this, others in the realm of the living could as well. He had shown that it did cause damage to him and he filed another suit for libel.

Hacob looked at the judge. "Your honor, the defendant did not show up. That is a de facto win to myself. Therefore, I must receive a form of compensation. What will that be?"

Nameless' lawyer cleared his throat. "My client is unable to show up, as he is dead.  Furthermore, his estate owns no assets other than a trust fund intended solely to pay for lawyers, as specified in his will. That trust fund is secure against all legal recrimination in accordance with the High Ghanderflaffle legal codes. Everything else either went to his successor, Subversion, or to his friends or avatar. As they have committed no crime, none of them can be punished. Because of this, unless you want to go to the afterlife to claim compensation, I think we should adjourn this case."

[Immortal Platypus]

41 minutes ago, NameIess said:

Nameless' lawyer cleared his throat. "My client is unable to show up, as he is dead.  Furthermore, his estate owns no assets other than a trust fund intended solely to pay for lawyers, as specified in his will. That trust fund is secure against all legal recrimination in accordance with the High Ghanderflaffle legal codes. Everything else either went to his successor, Subversion, or to his friends or avatar. As they have committed no crime, none of them can be punished. Because of this, unless you want to go to the afterlife to claim compensation, I think we should adjourn this case."

"Being dead has never stopped him from showing up before," Hacob pointed out, then continued on. "We do not follow the Ghanderflaffle legal codes, as we are not a part of the Ghanderflaffle Empire. I am more than willing to visit the afterlife to claim compensation, but that is not needed, as he illegally used my likeness, so I am legally allowed to use his in the same manner as he used mine. That law is part of the superseding legal code of all of TLT. You may find it in the QUILNOFER on page 203,385,756,674,305 line 296,473 of paragraph 3. As his likeness cannot be truly passed onto a successor, and through the laws of this realm, I am entitled to it for one use in the manner in which mine was used.

[NameIess]

8 hours ago, Immortal Platypus said:

"Being dead has never stopped him from showing up before," Hacob pointed out, then continued on. "We do not follow the Ghanderflaffle legal codes, as we are not a part of the Ghanderflaffle Empire. I am more than willing to visit the afterlife to claim compensation, but that is not needed, as he illegally used my likeness, so I am legally allowed to use his in the same manner as he used mine. That law is part of the superseding legal code of all of TLT. You may find it in the QUILNOFER on page 203,385,756,674,305 line 296,473 of paragraph 3. As his likeness cannot be truly passed onto a successor, and through the laws of this realm, I am entitled to it for one use in the manner in which mine was used.

"That code only applies for crimes committed in TLT. Nameless no longer resides within TLT, and as such you cannot punish him using that code."

[Immortal Platypus]

7 hours ago, NameIess said:

"That code only applies for crimes committed in TLT. Nameless no longer resides within TLT, and as such you cannot punish him using that code."

"Nameless actually does reside inside the pocket dimension known as TLT, or his actions would not be known here and could not be stated by an Author."

[NameIess]

1 hour ago, Immortal Platypus said:

"Nameless actually does reside inside the pocket dimension known as TLT, or his actions would not be known here and could not be stated by an Author."

"Actually, he currently resides in tst, the designated afterlife for all of Nameless' TLT characters. His Author can still mention what actions he takes in tst, just as he could mention an action that one of his characters like Nameless from the Insanity Clinic takes. It doesn't mean that the actions took place in TLT, or that the afterlife is in TLT.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

14 minutes ago, NameIess said:

"Actually, he currently resides in tst, the designated afterlife for all of Nameless' TLT characters. His Author can still mention what actions he takes in tst, just as he could mention an action that one of his characters like Nameless from the Insanity Clinic takes. It doesn't mean that the actions took place in TLT, or that the afterlife is in TLT.

"False," said a new voice. "When a place is mentioned and characters are in that place, their actions being described, that place is a part of TLT, as was in the case of two of Thaidakar's author's characters."

[NameIess]

4 minutes ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

"False," said a new voice. "When a place is mentioned and characters are in that place, their actions being described, that place is a part of TLT, as was in the case of two of Thaidakar's author's characters."

"Perhaps technically that is true, but canonically it is not true. Nameless cannot canonically exist in TLT except under very specific circumstances, and canonically his actions did not affect anything other than the afterlife, which is canonically not TLT."

Edited April 18, 2024 by NameIess

[Immortal Platypus]

1 hour ago, NameIess said:

"Actually, he currently resides in tst, the designated afterlife for all of Nameless' TLT characters. His Author can still mention what actions he takes in tst, just as he could mention an action that one of his characters like Nameless from the Insanity Clinic takes. It doesn't mean that the actions took place in TLT, or that the afterlife is in TLT.

"None that have been put into TLT can leave it due to the Ennullers. Therefore, your so-called tst must be in TLT."

1 hour ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

"False," said a new voice. "When a place is mentioned and characters are in that place, their actions being described, that place is a part of TLT, as was in the case of two of Thaidakar's author's characters."

"Thank you."

1 hour ago, NameIess said:

"Perhaps technically that is true, but canonically it is not true. Nameless cannot canonically exist in TLT except under very specific circumstances, and canonically his actions did not affect anything other than the afterlife, which is canonically not TLT."

"It would seem that we disagree on canon then. Nameless cannot canonically exist outside of TLT as he would be kept in by the Ennullers. Canonically his actions affected TLT as otherwise this trial wouldn't be happening. We are in TLT, and if his actions didn't affect us, then we wouldn't be debating this. What is your reason for him not canonically existing in TLT? If it is because Subversion is a Narrator, that cannot stand. Platypus has shifted from Luxsprite to Narrator and back several times while I have been alive, but I have stayed a Narrator."

[NameIess]

2 minutes ago, Immortal Platypus said:

"None that have been put into TLT can leave it due to the Ennullers. Therefore, your so-called tst must be in TLT."

"It would seem that we disagree on canon then. Nameless cannot canonically exist outside of TLT as he would be kept in by the Ennullers. Canonically his actions affected TLT as otherwise this trial wouldn't be happening. We are in TLT, and if his actions didn't affect us, then we wouldn't be debating this. What is your reason for him not canonically existing in TLT? If it is because Subversion is a Narrator, that cannot stand. Platypus has shifted from Luxsprite to Narrator and back several times while I have been alive, but I have stayed a Narrator."

"You think Narrators remain trapped in TLT after death? This is untrue. When a Narrator truly dies, when any of Nameless character's die, they go to The World of Dreams, the place that is also known as tst. The Enullers cannot stop this. So far as I know, no one can stop this. From the perspective of TLT, Nameless' soul was destroyed utterly. His connection to his Author lost, everything that made him up vanished. Nothing that was him "escaped" to The World of Dreams. For Enullers to stop that, they would have had to prevent Nameless' death. But even if you don't believe me, Nameless was not a Narrator at the time of his death, and so even if the Enullers could prevent someone from entering the World of Dreams, they would not have prevented him from doing so."

Nameless' lawyer paused for a moment to take a sip of water before continuing.

"Furthermore, your arguments are all moot, as there is no reliable way to prove Nameless did anything illegal. Unless you happen to have a copy of the book he wrote?"

[Immortal Platypus]

22 minutes ago, NameIess said:

"You think Narrators remain trapped in TLT after death? This is untrue. When a Narrator truly dies, when any of Nameless character's die, they go to The World of Dreams, the place that is also known as tst. The Enullers cannot stop this. So far as I know, no one can stop this. From the perspective of TLT, Nameless' soul was destroyed utterly. His connection to his Author lost, everything that made him up vanished. Nothing that was him "escaped" to The World of Dreams. For Enullers to stop that, they would have had to prevent Nameless' death. But even if you don't believe me, Nameless was not a Narrator at the time of his death, and so even if the Enullers could prevent someone from entering the World of Dreams, they would not have prevented him from doing so."

Nameless' lawyer paused for a moment to take a sip of water before continuing.

"Furthermore, your arguments are all moot, as there is no reliable way to prove Nameless did anything illegal. Unless you happen to have a copy of the book he wrote?"

"Yes I do. Narrators can come back to life, so the Ennullers keep them in the realm of TLT even past death. Nameless' soul cannot have been destroyed utterly as only a relatively short time ago, a piece of it (kind of) fought Platypus in his duel with Subversion. His connection to his Author has clearly not been lost, as his Author stated what he was doing, showing that the aforementioned connections is still there. And just because one is not a Narrator for a time, doesn't mean they aren't permanently. I was not a Narrator in the beginning. Neither was Subversion. Yet both of us are Narrators. Platypus stopped being a Narrator, then he returned, then stopped again. Would the Ennullers let him out? No. (He asked.) The Ennullers keep close watch on all those that are (or were) Narrators in case they return to their Narrative ways. Do you really think that those who seek to trap Narrators here would let one of, if not the, most powerful Narrators simply leave? They would not."

Hacob Narrated a cup of apple juice into his hand, then reaching into his pocket with his other hand while drinking his juice, he pulled out a softcover book.

"As a matter of fact, I do. Through my contacts in the afterlife, I have procured a copy of the book (which is yet more proof that both it and this life exist in the broader space of TLT. You would have known this had you shown up for pre-trial disclosure. On this page," he continued, opening the book to an early page, "I am mentioned, by name, described as I am, with false information about me. This is libel and using my name and likeness without consent."

[NameIess]

11 minutes ago, Immortal Platypus said:

"Yes I do. Narrators can come back to life, so the Ennullers keep them in the realm of TLT even past death. Nameless' soul cannot have been destroyed utterly as only a relatively short time ago, a piece of it (kind of) fought Platypus in his duel with Subversion. His connection to his Author has clearly not been lost, as his Author stated what he was doing, showing that the aforementioned connections is still there. And just because one is not a Narrator for a time, doesn't mean they aren't permanently. I was not a Narrator in the beginning. Neither was Subversion. Yet both of us are Narrators. Platypus stopped being a Narrator, then he returned, then stopped again. Would the Ennullers let him out? No. (He asked.) The Ennullers keep close watch on all those that are (or were) Narrators in case they return to their Narrative ways. Do you really think that those who seek to trap Narrators here would let one of, if not the, most powerful Narrators simply leave? They would not."

Hacob Narrated a cup of apple juice into his hand, then reaching into his pocket with his other hand while drinking his juice, he pulled out a softcover book.

"As a matter of fact, I do. Through my contacts in the afterlife, I have procured a copy of the book (which is yet more proof that both it and this life exist in the broader space of TLT. You would have known this had you shown up for pre-trial disclosure. On this page," he continued, opening the book to an early page, "I am mentioned, by name, described as I am, with false information about me. This is libel and using my name and likeness without consent."

Nameless' lawyer smiled inwardly, happy that he'd be able to bill so many hours.

"Nameless cannot come back to life when truly killed, and Enullers cannot prevent someone from going to the afterlife after they die. Even if they could, the person would end up in limbo, not an afterlife. And even if they could put people into an afterlife that was still within TLT, Nameless did not end up there. I have the written testimony of his Author as to this fact. Your next point, that Nameless' soul was not destroyed, is categorically untrue. The soul of Nameless was entirely destroyed. The copy that Platypus fought was created from nothing but the memories of Nameless. That version of Nameless is just a poor copy, and doesn't have a single scrap of Nameless' soul within it. On the matter of Nameless' connection to his Author, your arguments are easy to defeat. Nameless' lost the connection to his Author that allowed him to persist in existence, not all connection. A Narrator could have held on for a time perhaps, but as he was not a Narrator, he was utterly helpless to prevent his death. On the subject of leaving TLT, you have proven your ignorance of the matter by way of using the worst comparison I have ever heard in the entirety of my legal career. Nameless gave up his Narration powers completely, which would have allowed him to leave if he so wished. Without access to the incredible quantities of excess Chaotic Light energy that exists here in TLT, it would not have been possible for him to spontaneously become a Narrator. The odds of him becoming a Narrator again outside of TLT were no higher than those of any other person, as in, the only way it could have happened would be through direct Authorial intervention. Platypus, on the other hand, is a being far more dangerous to the worlds outside TLT than any Narrator. He is incredibly unstable and could, for all we know, go mad or explode at any time. To explain in simple terms what I mean by this, letting Nameless exit would be like allowing aliens to sell humans an empty ICBM. Sure, they might fill it with explosives, but humans already have the capability to make similar missiles. This won't cause an apocalypse. Letting Platypus leave because he's "not a Narrator anymore" would be like selling an ICBM armed with an antimatter-warhead just because it's now got the option to switch between three extra types of antimatter (meaning it is now capable of using not one but two different kinds of antimatter that are explicitly banned from being sold to humans because of the apocalyptic destruction they'll inevitably cause) using scientific principles that haven't been fully explained even by your advanced alien technology, and that could cause an explosion that would be apocalyptic even by your alien standards. It just doesn't compare in the slightest."

Nameless lawyer barely paused for breath before walking over to Hacob and snatching the book from his hands.

"Yes, I saw this in the evidence pile. Thank you for making my case at the risk of your own life by breaking the Authorial Accords of the Ten-thousandth Page Referendum, which specify that you cannot take anything from the afterlife without consequences."

He flipped all the way back to the first page of the book, cleared his throat, and read.

"This is a work of fiction_­­² . Names, characters, businesses, events, and incidents are the products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual or fictional persons, living or dead, or actual or fictional events, is purely coincidental."

Nameless' lawyer turned to the judge.

"As you can see, this book is entirely fictional². Nameless has never met Hacob. He was merely improving upon Thaidakar's work, without knowledge that Hacob was a real person. So he cannot be convicted of anything, because libel requires intentional falsehood."