Rules for Surviving a Fantasy World

[Nathrangking]

371. When given the choice of in a trial by combat never use unfamiliar weapons.

[Aon Tia]

372. While challenging someone for a disadvantaged duel, specify the number of opponents should not exceed 2

[AonEne]

12 hours ago, The traveller said:

370. Of you accidentally killed your wife, don’t worry too much about it, do not make a life changing decision that puts you in more danger because of it, she is most likely a member of an immortal unkillable group and you will get a second chance to do it properly..

370a. Disregard this if your name is Evi. 

[Truthless of Shinovar]

373. Remember that one seemingly useless trick or little quirk that your wise old mentor showed you; when you are in your final battle with the antagonist, this little trick will likely be the way to defeat him.

Edited March 10, 2020 by Truthless of Shinovar

[Honorless]

374. Remember that if you get injured in the side of your stomach, you're totally fine. No need to worry! Just wrap it up or stitch it up yourself and be a BAMF! Then dramatically remove your jacket or coat or cowl or whatever to reveal the wrappings soaked in blood and how your fought (and won) while injured. This is a must-happen if the setting is western.

[Eluvianii]

375. If you defeat the bad guy and he turns out to be a good person, there's a high probability that there are at least four more people to defeat before facing the real bad guy.

[Bartimaeus]

376. When you kill the Big Bad, destroy anything that can resurrect people or at the very least gather them in one place to safeguard them.

[Honorless]

377. Here's a prophecy about prophecies: it'll come true exactly due to your actions in trying to avoid it. Don't try to fight it, there's no point.

[Nathrangking]

378. When power comes to you remember your friends or they will turn on you!

[NameIess]

378b. You can also kill them, but if you do this, make sure that none of them get away, and if one of them does, go into hiding immediately.

378c. If you remember them, make sure to treat them all the same, and maintain your friendships with them, as otherwise one of them will turn evil and betray you.

[Eluvianii]

379. If you need to carry out any kind of plan/operation, make sure you're working only with impartial people, and that anyone who's not directly related to the plan is at least ten miles away from the zone where you'll be working. Ignore this advice and either someone in your team will ruin the plan or that one person you left waiting in the car will suddenly appear at a critical moment, ruining all the progress and causing someone's death/the bad guy to escape/get stronger, along with a six-month time-skip.

[Nathrangking]

380. Never ignore dreams that seem to portend danger. If you do bad things will happen!!

[AonEne]

380b. Unless the enemy has someone who can control your dreams; they may be manipulating you. 

[Silverblade5]

381. Never, under any circumstances, split the party. It can only go poorly.

[AonEne]

4 minutes ago, Silverblade5 said:

381. Never, under any circumstances, split the party. It can only go poorly.

I’m pretty sure that’s been said before. 

[Snakenaps]

On 7/18/2018 at 1:34 PM, Life&Death said:

151: Never under any circumstances split up. If you are the protagonist your friends will be killed or captured, if you are not, then you will be killed or captured.

152: if you ignored 151 and hear a strange noise, do not inspect it, and instead burn it with fire as soon as possible.

Yup, we've had split the party before. However, this reminded me of Emerald Rose's "Never Split the Party" song (which is extremely corny and dangerously catchy):

Quote

Don't you know, you never split the party?
Clerics in the back, keep those fighters hale and hearty.
The wizard in the middle, where he can shed some light
And you never let that [darn] thief out of sight!

So let's modify this into: 

381: Know the roles of each of your party members, and if you have someone with nimble fingers...never let that darn thief out of sight!

[NorthStar]

382: Don't resist medical treatment. Acting macho isn't going to fix that stab wound in your leg, and you'll just hinder your allies if you try to fight.

[Failsafe]

383: Acquire magical items with oddly specific rules. The more useless they sound the more likely they will help you on your journey.

384: If you happen to have a backpack with food,water, rope, etc. Most of it will be lost at the first river crossing. The more boring it is, the more likely it is to be lost 

385: if you are from an entirely different culture from the protagonist, your chances of survival remain pretty high as long as you are the only one in your group from that culture, and make sure to highlight the differences as much as possible.

386: If you are questing with the protagonist, try to be their least favorite traveling companion. Antagonize, annoy, argue, play devil's advocate, anything to ensure you clash as much as possible. This relationship is necessary for character growth and grants strong plot immunity.

387: if you choose to go the above route and there is a traitor in your midst, do not do anything to make the protagonist think it is you. As their least favorite person, you are already their first suspect. You will probably be wrongly accused and it may result in death. In every way, prove you are not the traitor

388: keep the conflict going as long as possible. The instant you resolve your issues, you become a friend and all plot immunity goes away. If this happens in the middle of a battle, you are almost guaranteed to die. Prevent this by proving you are the jerk the protagonist always thought you were. Provided you were never actually a villain, killing you at that moment would be unsatisfying.

[Ghanderflaffle]

384b. The more useful the item is, the more likely it will also disappear. The most useless seeming items will survive, and anything necessary to the plot will be found later.

[The_Archivist]

389. Make sure you are a named character, as this lowers the odds of you dying in a random battle.

390. Make sure you are not the only named character in a group of unnamed ones,  as your entire squad will most likely be wiped out.

391. Always have a secret (preferably dark one) you can share in a life death situation, this ensures your survival. Note that this is in the case of  personal secrets, regular secrets that you share will only get you killed.

392. This cannot be overstated, don't be greedy!

Edited April 3, 2020 by The_Archivist
typos

[AonEne]

(391a: If you are mentoring a character, this rule may be void.) 

[Failsafe]

393: if someone tells you a rule that doesn't make much sense (always have a fire going in the woods, don't tell x creature your name, don't look it in the eyes, etc ) follow it. There's probably a good reason. 

[Elend Venture]

394: Don't bother bringing any weapons. There's usually a stronger mentor-type character to defend you in your first fight. After he's busted a few heads you are advised to seize a sword from one of your fallen enemies and you shall in all likelihood either be extremely skilled with it by nature, or you will be terrible with it and are advised to put it down now and never touch a sword again. If you don't you shall end up being forced to try and save your mentor with one later in the future and fail. His death is inevitable but it is best to postpone it for as long a duration as possible.

Edited April 4, 2020 by Elend Venture
Some minor clarification of second sentence.

[The_Archivist]

395. If you want to hire a guide, make sure you know for a fact that the people he guides actually arrive safe and sound. Guides are treacherous and should be trusted as little as possible.

[Elend Venture]

1 minute ago, The_Archivist said:

395. If you want to hire a guide, make sure you know for a fact that the people he guides actually arrive safe and sound. Guides are treacherous and should be trusted as little as possible.

*Shifts eyes toward Rashek*