Explain a Plot Badly

[Condensation she/her]

These are really funny. I just about busted a gut. (Figuratively, not literally.)

[Crucible of Shards he/him]

Starsight:

Spoiler

A young warrior becomes a spy in order to learn how to use her companion as a fuel source.

 

[Random Bystander she/her]

Elantris:

Spoiler

(I changed ONE word.)

Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, magic, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles!

 

[nehalem]

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir

Spoiler

A grieving widower helps people get revenge on those who wrong them in order to help bring his wife back from the dead

Edited April 13, 2021 by nehalem

[BreezeCauthon he/him]

Beowulf

Spoiler

Super strong dude invites himself to some guy's house, rips the arm off of a home invader

 

 

[Nathrangking he/him]

Dr. Faustus

Spoiler

Wise man makes a bargain. Does not read fine print. He tries to make the best of it. Deal comes back to bite him.

 

[Regent she/her]

Mine for Stormlight

Spoiler

So basically: the fate of the world rests in the hands of mentally unstable individuals with god powers. And no, they will not get therapy in the near future.

 

Edited April 15, 2021 by caramel_

[Personification he/him]

5 hours ago, caramel_ said:

Mine for Stormlight

  Hide contents

So basically: the fate of the world rests in the hands of mentally unstable individuals with god powers. And no, they will not get therapy in the near future.

 

Also every superhero movie/work, but perhaps most specifically Suicide Squad.

[Tacitus]

WoT:

Spoiler

Main character doesn't want to be main character, but he's just such a main character.

 

Edited April 15, 2021 by Omi the Counselor

[Bejarden he/him]

Sythe ( Anyone read this?)

Spoiler

Humanity has conquered death. 
But the people are employed to kill you anyway

 

Edited April 16, 2021 by Bejardin1250

[BreezeCauthon he/him]

Avengers: Endgame

Spoiler

Several years after a purple monster killed half the population, a ragtag group of heroes who've lost everyone must bring back the world by gathering the magical stones.

What? Plagiarism? Who, me?

[dannnex male]

15 minutes ago, BreezeCauthon said:

Avengers: Endgame

  Hide contents

  Hide contents

Several years after a purple monster killed half the population, a ragtag group of heroes who've lost everyone must bring back the world by gathering the magical stones.

What? Plagiarism? Who, me?

@Channelknight Fadran 

[Use the Falchion]

Power Rangers

Spoiler

A group of underqualified teenagers* are given a year-long unpaid internship in superheroics and world-saving that rarely gives any long-term career opportunities (unless you're in a season that has a military or paramilitary organization attached to the Rangers).

However, in return they get to: Save the world at least once, gain access to technology way above your paygrade, travel to new places and fight weird monsters, make lifelong friends, possibly talk to a dinosaur or time travel, possibly go to space, and keep your family alive (because traumatic backstories are few and far between). 

 

*Most of the time. If the Rangers are attached to a military or paramilitary organization, the most of the Rangers will be surprisingly qualified. (See: Lost Galaxy, Lightspeed Rescue, Time Force, Wild Force, Ninja Storm, SPD, Jungle Fury, RPM, and Beast Morphers) And sometimes, they won't even be teenagers! 

 

[Wyndlerunner he/him]

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Season 1:

Spoiler

Following the murder of his family by Vampire Michael Jackson, a young charcoal selling boy learns how to breathe and use a sword. Along the way he meets a speedy boi who's crushing on the charcoal seller's vampire sister, and Flex Armstrong wearing a Boar's Head. They go to a mountain, where the young charcoal seller dance fights a spider vampire boy with a family complex. Afterwhich the young boy is put on trial for keeping his vampire sister alive, he is abetted, and is admitted to rehab where he learns to breathe better.

 

Demon Slayer The Movie: Mugen Train:

Spoiler

Charcoal boy and his intrepid comrades go for a lovely train ride with a strong owl-faced flame boy, whereupon the androgynous vampire on the train repeats the plot of Inception by trapping our heroes in dreams. Charcoal boy remembers that if you die in the game you die in real life, and goes to confront the androgynous vampire, whereupon he is assualted by the vampire's hypnotic handmouth. He decapitates the androgynous vampire, who reveals that charcoal boy has activated his Trap Card, and fuses with the train in a twisted mockery of Thomas the Tank Engine. Everyone works together to use the power of swords and proper breathing to defeat the train. Flame Boy meets a stronger vampire, who aggressively flirts with him by demanding that Flame Boy become a vampire as well. They fight, flame boy has an emotional speech and dies, and the stronger vampire flees from the hideous light of the day-star. Everyone cries, including you. 

 

[Eluvianii he/him]

Fate/Stay Night: Heaven's Feel:

Spoiler

A girl enters the hunger games and true to the name, decides to eat the competition. She will also give birth to the root of all evil, so naturally a priest does everything in his power to make sure that happens. 

Meanwhile, the girl's boyfriend and self-proclaimed hero, decides to ignore the girl's body count, and dies for her, but his sister and his ex-crush revive him as a magic doll so he proceeds to go on a date with her now redeemed girlfriend. 

 

[Regent she/her]

Skyward

Spoiler

Girl gets into pilot/flight school and meets a mushroom-obsessed AI in the process

Mistborn (era 1)

Spoiler

Girl gets thrown into a cult with a leader that's hellbent on taking down their emperor...it backfires, kinda. Also: note that this isn't for kids unless you want to see them trying to swallow pennies and tatter up your blankets

Stormlight (I already did this but here's another one anyway)

Spoiler

God powers are making their comeback. Also involves crabs. A lot of them.

Alcatraz vs. The Evil Librarians

Spoiler

A self-proclaimed liar debunks the entirety of World History in 308 pages (+ free writing tips in the later books too)

Rithmatist

Spoiler

Chalk drawing is suddenly the most powerful thing around.

Also contains: when you're the chalk expert but you weren't a chosen one (rip Joel)

Harry Potter

Spoiler

Chosen one. That's it.

Matilda

Spoiler

Insanely gifted kid goes to school. Shenanigans ensue

 

Edited April 18, 2021 by caramel_

[Channelknight Fadran]

21 hours ago, BreezeCauthon said:

Avengers: Endgame

  Reveal hidden contents

  Reveal hidden contents

Several years after a purple monster killed half the population, a ragtag group of heroes who've lost everyone must bring back the world by gathering the magical stones.

What? Plagiarism? Who, me?

What? Endgame? That isn't Endgame!

[Mystic Syn she/her]

Alright, alright, alright. It seems that people liked my Star Wars thing, so of course, I'm going to do something else. I'm doing Disney, but like the movies you think of when someone says "Disney" and that I've seen. There's going to be no Pixar movies, because that's for another time. I'll make the exception of having a few sequels in the thingy, since I've seen some of them and want to poke fun at them. If the movies you like aren't here, I'm sorry.

All of the Mostly Famous Animated Disney Movies That I've Seen and Can Remember They're All In Film Release Order

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Spoiler

Beautiful single lady moves in with seven short single men after an ex-employer orders a hit on her

Pinocchio

Spoiler

Puppet comes to life after a cricket wishes on a star, then the living puppet joins a show with dead puppets while trying to get to school. After someone tried to permanently hire him to the show without his consent; after which he gets scammed by a fox, almost gets turned into a donkey, gets swallowed by a whale, and turned into a real boi after being vomited out of the belly of the whale

Dumbo (1941)

Spoiler

Elephant gets teased for his deformities; gets drunk and becomes a circus star

Cinderella (1950)

Spoiler

Prince marries servant girl after finding her shoe

Alice in Wonderland (1951)

Spoiler

Child experiences a fever dream for an hour and nine minutes

Peter Pan

Spoiler

Fairy tries to murder a minor while children fight a pirate crew

Sleeping Beauty

Spoiler

Horned green lady curses child because she wasn't invited to the baby shower

101 Dalmatians (1961)

Spoiler

Psychotic lady tries to kill puppies for their fur coats

The Jungle Book (1967)

Spoiler

Unsupervised child in red underwear wanders the jungle for an hour and twenty-nine minutes

Robin Hood (1973)

Spoiler

Disney awakens the furry within you through robbery and jail-breaking

The Great Mouse Detective

Spoiler

Sher-mouse Holmes. That's it. That's the plot

The Little Mermaid (1989)

Spoiler

Kleptomaniac attains legs to kiss her crush

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Spoiler

Big bear thing develops Lima syndrome, eventually turns human

Aladdin (1992)

Spoiler

Homeless, street boi finds a flying piece of decoration and Robins Williams; and through lying and deceiving, gets the girl

The Lion King (1994)

Spoiler

It's Shakespeare's Hamlet, but with lions and musical numbers

Pocahontas

Spoiler

Two groups of people go to war because of racism

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Spoiler

Priest lusts for a gypsy, but God said, "No."

Hercules

Spoiler

God of Death wants a pay raise, does that by trying to murder his brother's child

Mulan (1998)

Spoiler

Woman dresses in drag so she can die instead of her father; ends up saving the nation

The Emperor's New Groove

Spoiler

Centuries-old woman obtains the emperor's throne by turning her former employer into a llama, who goes on a comical road trip with the best character redemption story that Disney's ever produced fight me

Atlantis: The Last Empire

Spoiler

Daniel Jackson discovers a mythological city is more technologically advanced than we are

Lilo and Stitch

Spoiler

Depressed child's wish comes true through a genetically enhanced alien 

Treasure Planet

Spoiler

Sci-fi take on Treasure Island

Atlantis: Milo's Return

Spoiler

Daniel Jackson is back with a crappy overarching storyline and character arcs

Brother Bear

Spoiler

Mother Nature punishes man for being mean by turning him into a bear

The Lion King 1 1/2

Spoiler

Ham-lion: Exclusive Behind The Scenes

Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers missed opportunity name it the "Mouseketeers" >.>

Spoiler

Classical pieces are given lyrics, also side note: Pete tries to take over France

Kronk's New Groove

Spoiler

"Hey! You remember that dumb, but extremely likable character from the first movie? How 'bout we give him an unnecessary backstory, for no reason whatsoever?"

Brother Bear 2

Spoiler

To quote JelloApocalypse: "Man loses the love of his life to a bear!!!"

Meet the Robinsons

Spoiler

Family drama, but with time travel and an evil hat

Cinderella III: A Twist in Time yes, I saw this movie and not the second

Spoiler

This explains the film better than what I could say https://youtu.be/KzfomITpXfM

The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning

Spoiler

Reference the movie Footloose, but with water and musical numbers

Bolt

Spoiler

Hollywood star learns of stunt doubles

The Princess and the Frog

Spoiler

Prince makes a deal with a voodoo man to get money and turns into a frog; falls in love with waitress instead

Tangled

Spoiler

Reclusive extrovert experiences the world with the lizard, a world-renowned thief, and a horse

Wreck-It Ralph

Spoiler

"Okay, but what if video games had feelings?"

Planes

Spoiler

Pixar's Cars, but in the sky and Farmboi Plane has a fear of heights

Frozen

Spoiler

Ice Witch runs from home to the mountains to be alone, but Optimistic Sister encounters Frosty the Snowman, Sven, and Sven and forces her to come home anyway

Big Hero 6

Spoiler

Overachieving Anime Boi inherits a nurse robot, then immediately turns it into a killing machine

Zootopia

Spoiler

It's a BUNNY-cop movie :DD Get it? 'Cause it's a buddy-cop movie

Moana

Spoiler

A Disney princess teams up with The Boulder to fight a god that needs therapy

Ralph Wrecks Breaks the Internet

Spoiler

Pixel Hulk fear abandonment and crashes the whole internet

Frozen II

Spoiler

Ice Witch, Optimistic Sister, Sven and Sven, and Frosty the Snowman uncover the Mystery of the Haunted Woods™

I'll edit this when/if I see Raya and the Last Dragon :pp

Edited April 20, 2021 by Mystic Syn

[Personification he/him]

Raya and the Last Dragon:

Option 1 (weird Magic: the Gathering reference):

Spoiler

Someone REALLY wanted to rewrite the Fate Reforged and Dragons of Tarkir storylines, but they kept the Khans of Tarkir parts.

Honestly, I don't blame them.

Option 2:

Spoiler

Disney's best attempt at Mad Max

Option 3:

Spoiler

Con-baby OP. Please nerf.

Option 4:

Spoiler

Terrible trigger discipline causes an ultra-religious woman to accidentally kill her god.

 

[AonEne he/him]

"Sven and Sven" is one of the best things I've read all day. 

[Draginon he/him]

I’m watching a Fellini film and realized simplifying the plot so far sounds like another film of his:

Spoiler

An Italian man and his encounters with a bunch of women.

Now try to figure out if I’m talking about La Dolce Vita or 8 1/2 (or 9 the musical)

[Chinkoln he/him]

Way of Kings

Spoiler

Depressed boy tells his story

Words of Radiance

Spoiler

Schizophrenic girl tells her story

Oathbringer

Spoiler

Man with anger issues develops self doubt, then tells his story

 

[Spren of Kindness she/her]

@CallsignZen, ROW content isn't allowed outside the spoiler boards for some months yet.

[Orlion Blight he/him]

On 4/20/2021 at 5:42 PM, Personification said:

Raya and the Last Dragon:

Option 1 (weird Magic: the Gathering reference):

  Hide contents

Someone REALLY wanted to rewrite the Fate Reforged and Dragons of Tarkir storylines, but they kept the Khans of Tarkir parts.

Honestly, I don't blame them.

Option 2:

  Hide contents

Disney's best attempt at Mad Max

Option 3:

  Hide contents

Con-baby OP. Please nerf.

Option 4:

  Hide contents

Terrible trigger discipline causes an ultra-religious woman to accidentally kill her god.

 

Don't understand the first one, but the other three are spot on! 

[+CallsignZen she/her]

22 hours ago, Spren of Kindness said:

@CallsignZen, ROW content isn't allowed outside the spoiler boards for some months yet.

oop my bad