Cosmere! The Musical

[Xaladin he/him]

Elantris could probably be a musical.

Spoiler

When Hrathen "suffers the shaod" there could be a really dramatic musical number there. Maybe something similar to Frollo's solo in The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

At least one Hrathen&Dilaf scene could be a musical number (like when Hrathen is "teaching" Dilaf how to be powerful).

Somewhere Sarene deserves some Mulan music.

Iadon could probably get a really creepy musical number when he is doing Jesker rituals.

Shuden might get a quick song, perhaps while doing some ChayShan.

Raoden has a lot of discovery moments. He could probably get a song or two.

Perhaps Galladon could get a pessimistic song (perhaps with some comic relief).

 

[Modal Seoul he/him]

I could see Steel Inquisitors, as they're doing the "messy" part of Hemelurgy, singing a hard-rock version of "You'll Be In My Heart"

"A Whole New World" for Siri and someone (IDK who) when she first comes to Hallandren.

When Kelsier first meets vin, "Friend Like Me"

I could also see Lightsong singing a parody version of Aristocats' song "Everyone Wants to be A Cat" titled "Everyone wants to be a God"

I just want to see Bluefingers sing "Be Our Guest" for no reason at all.

 

Edited March 11, 2017 by Captains Domon

[Faceless Mist-Wraith he/him]

For "A Whole New World" you could use Kaladin and Syl when he learns to Lash for the first time.

Quote

What about Denth plotting to take over Hallandren?  It's not exact, but that's the best I can come up with.

I thought about it some more, and I thought of Rashek and Kwaan when they're plotting to kill Alendi and replace him with Rashek. That and your example are the only ones I can think of, since Graves and Moash didn't seem to fit the tone.

[mr42 he/him]

We might change the text a bit, but I imagine “Riders on the storm“ for the fight between Szeth and Kal

[I Am Witless she/her]

On 3/10/2017 at 8:12 PM, Captains Domon said:

I could see Steel Inquisitors, as they're doing the "messy" part of Hemelurgy, singing a hard-rock version of "You'll Be In My Heart"

 

 

THIS

Spoiler

 

Come stop your crying, it'll be alright,

Take this spike and hold it tight.

We will protect you from all around,

We'll be here as you cry.

For misting small you now seem so strong,

My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm.

This bond between us can't broken,

I'll be here, and'll watch you cry....

'Cause a spike'll be in your heart

Yes, it'll be in your heart

From this day on

Now and forever more, 

No matter what they say, 

It'll be in your heart always.

 

 

[Capt. Goradel]

I'm trying to think of a way to incorporate some la la land-esque music, because that's my current obsession, but can't think of anything that really fits. Except for maybe "A lovely night" with kaladin and shallan in the chasm being argumentative and whatnot

[Faceless Mist-Wraith he/him]

I made this and this thread seemed to be the best place to put it, so here we are:

"Do You Want to Forge the Emperor?"

Spoiler

Do you want to forge the Emperor?

You don’t really have a say.

Because now you have a job to do,

It’s life or death for you,

And you have less than 100 days…

We were able to fix his body,

But not his mind

And that’s why we need you!

Do you want to forge the Emperor?

You’re gonna have to forge the Emperor.

 

Fine Gaotona.

Thank you Shai…

 

Are you done Forging the Emperor?

You’re kind of running out of time

Not to mention there is Captain Zu

I’ve seen him watching you

With murder on his mind

(He might hold a grudge)

It makes me kind of worried

That you’re Forging your room

Even when the deadline is nigh

(Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock)

 

(Sad music plays as a Selian calendar counts down)

Shai, I knew you’d be here

The guards are wondering where you’ve gone.

They say "don’t trust her," and I tried to

Yet I here I am for you, was it really all a con?

The BloodSealer is coming for you

So take these SoulStamps and flee,

Maybe steal a painting or two?

Did you finish Forging the Emperor?

*Disclaimer: I used the pronunciation of Shai that rhymed with "bye" because I thought it sounded better.

[Nathrangking he/him]

As Vin prepares to storm Kreddik Shaw to confront TLR she sings "lets get down to business to defeat the lord ruler" (Mulan).

Sadeas at any point singing "i just can't wait to be king" because why not?

The heralds singing " do you want to break the oathpact?

 

[mirahound she/her]

"It's Tough to be a God" from the Road to El Dorado for Lightsong.

[Faceless Mist-Wraith he/him]

After noticing the similar names between Kaladin and Aladdin I couldn't help imagining this happening when Kaladin first meets Syl.

Syl's "Spren Like Me"

Spoiler

Kaladin, I don’t think you quite realize what you got here!

So, why don’t you just complain a bit,

While I explain a bit about this opportunity!

 

Well, Jasnah’s out there transforming thieves,

Szeth’s out there riding gales.

But Kaladin listen up, 'cause up your sleeves

You've got a magic system that never fails

 

You've got some Investiture in your soul now!

Some heavy ammunition in your warcamp!

You got some punch, pizzaz, yahoo and how.

See, all you gotta do is say those Oaths, and I'll say:

 

"Mr. Kaladin, sir, what will your pleasure be?

Let me become a shardblade, wave me around?"

You ain't never had a spren like me

 

Roshar is your restaurant and I'm your maitre'd

Come on mutter what it is you want;

You ain't never had a spren like me!

 

Yes sir, honor-spren pride ourselves on service.

You're a lighteyes, Knight Radiant, a star!

Say all the Oaths; I’m yours, bond growth.

How 'bout a little more chouta?

 

Train yourself in chasm A, then fly through chasm B,

I'm in the mood to help you, dude.

You ain't never had a spren like me

 

Oh my. No no. My my my.

Can lie-spren do this?

Can ink-spren do that?

Can high-spren pull this

Out their pointy hats?

Can your spren go poof?

Well looky here.

Can your spren go abracadabra, become a shardblade,

And then make your enemies disappear?

 

So don't just sit there set-jawed, broody eye’d,

I'm here to answer all your burned-up prayers,

You've got me bona fide certified;

You've got a honor-spren for charge d'affaires.

 

I've got a powerful surge that’ll help you out,

So who’ll you Lash, I really wanna know?

You've got a list that's three miles long, no doubt,

Well all you've gotta do is say Oaths like so, and oh ­-

 

Mr. Kaladin, sir, have a Lashing or two or three.

I'm on the job you big nabob!

You ain't never had a spren, never had a spren,

You ain't never had a spren, never had a spren,

You ain't never had a spren like me.

You ain't never had a spren like me

 

[Wreith he/him]

Kelsier needs to lead the crew in a modified Do You Hear the People Sing.

surely this isn't necessary but Mistborn Era1

Spoiler

Sazed should sing a modified version of It's Tough to Be a God from Road to Eldorado

 

[Taliax none (name only)]

I think I just used all of my daily upvotes on this thread XD

Nale/Nalan singing a version of "Stars" as he hunts down the Radiants

[Penumbra]

A long time ago I went to a musical for the first time and the first scene the stage was enveloped in thick swirling mists and my brain immediately went to "MISTBORN MUSICAL, YES!"I would pay a lot of money to see Kelsier sing out his hatred for the noblemen. Either him, or possibly Hoid, could probably throw a performance resembling something of Clopin in Disney's the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Don't ask me why I see those two in that ... 

Also seeing Warbreaker in musical form would make for some absolutely magnificent set dressing and stages.

 

[Archer he/him]

*Curtain rises, dramatic piano intro, spotlight falls on* Kelsier, Ham and Breeze skipping down the street singing 'We Go Together' (Like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong). Some finger snapping and a West Side Story-esque fight scene later and the Lord Ruler is dead, which transitions into a heartfelt rendition of 'Ding-Dong the Witch is Dead' for the finale.

Or if you wanted to be more true to the book, combine the 'Work Song' (Les Miz) with Kelsier singing a poignant 'Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story' (Hamilton).

[Steeldancer he/him]

I feel like Wit would break the fourth wall in this musical. 

Oh, and I could see a Bridge 4 "To Be a Man". 

To be Bridge 4...

[Personification he/him]

Hi, this is my first (and possibly only) post. I have lurked for quite a while, and I never really intended to post anything, but then I saw this thread, and then I heard "Sound of Silence" by Paul Simon, and, well....... Tada:

Warning, Edgedancer spoilers

Spoiler

Without further ado, My Awesomeness (to the tune of Sound of Silence):

Hello Darkness, my old foe
I've come to say let the Stump go
Because a Dysian’s many hordelings
Just killed your entire following
And the stormlight that supplants my hunger pangs
Still remains
Because of my Awesomeness

Quite restlessly I walked alone
Narrow streets of crem and stone
'Neath the shadow of an alleyway
I turned and hoped the thief would get away
When her eyes burned, stabbed by your magical shard
Watching was hard
Should have used my Awesomeness

And in the Everstorm I saw
Ten thousand parshmen, maybe more
Parshmen talking without speaking
Parshmen hearing without listening
Parshmen humming songs that humans never share
And I was scared
But I had my Awesomeness

Foolish Nale, you don’t know
Voidbinding like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
You just feared my Awesomeness

And the parshmen in the storm
Took an evil godly form
And the Alethi sent out warning
That the Everstorm was forming
And like fog lifted you saw that the KR were a solution not a bug
So we just hugged
Storms I love my Awesomeness

 

Edited November 7, 2017 by Personification

[Unlicensed Hemalurgist he/him]

"Atium," from "A Mistborn on the Roof" (a Brandon Sanderson production)

 

KELSIER [enters stage right]: "A Mistborn on the Roof! Sounds crazy--no, sounds certifiably insane! But here in our bustling city of Luthadel, you might say every one of us has a Mistborn on the roof. Most of the time that Mistborn is me, but things aren't always quite so simple! I've had my share of nasty scrapes, but I survive. That's what so many of us do here-- survive. It's not easy being skaa, what with the giant malevolent god-king and his Steel Ministry looming over your head day and night, but there it is. Luthadel is the home of many strange things. A big empire like that on such a little habitable scrap of land, you may ask yourself, what makes it all keep running smoothly if it's so difficult? That, I can tell you in one word: ATIUM!" 

CHORUS: "ATIUUUUUUUM, AITUM! ATIUUUUUUUM, ATIUM!" 

KELSIER: "Here in the Final Empire, atium makes its way into everything eventually. The changeless, ash-choked Empire, where the clustering spires of noble keeps poke up through the mists that choked out the sun in the dark old days of the Deepness! These days the Deepness is gone, but the Lord Ruler is still here. And the Obligators, and the Inquisition, and the nobles, and the regular old skaa, just trying not to get noticed. And they really try not to think about the scariest one of all-- the ageless, flat-affect, full-metalborn god-king--THE LORD RULER!--that's been squeezing us all in his grip for over a thousand years!"

KELSIER: [begins to sing] "Who day and night must sulk in Kredik Shaw, suff'ring Ruin's trolling, burning all the books? And who has the might, as a tiny bit of God, to one day put us all to death?" 

RASHEK: [bored, from offstage] "LORD RULERRRRRRR, LORD RULER! ATIUM! LORD RULERRRRRRR, LORD RULER! ATIUM!" 

OBLIGATORS AND INQUISITORS: [singing] "Who must bow and kneel and scrape and slave all day, to run the Dominances God's own way? Who must witness everything the nobles say, to make sure all their shelldry games are done on time?

[CHORUS joins in] THE CANTOOOOOOONS, THE CANTONS! ATIUM! THE CANTOOOOOOONS, THE CANTONS! ATIUM!"

NOBLES: [singing] "At night I go to fancy balls and rape and beat my slaves, and soon I'll turn on all my friends for wealth depra-aves! 

[CHORUS joins in] THE HOUSEEEEEEES, THE HOUSES! ATIUM! THE HOUSEEEEEEES, THE HOUSES! ATIUM!"

SKAA: [singing] "Who's always penned in slums? Who fills the air with cries? Who's huddled in the cold, as ash rains from the skies? 

[CHORUS joins in] THE SKAAAAAAAAA, THE SKAA! ATIUM! THE SKAAAAAAAA, THE SKAA! ATIUM!" 

[All except KELSIER] "LORD RULERRRRRRR/THE CANTOOOOOOONS/THE HOUSEEEEEEES/THE SKAAAAAAAA......ATIUM!" [repeat 2x] 

KELSIER: "We have the cannery, and the metal refineries, and some wonderful slums the damned nobles are so very happy to keep standing, but the heart of Luthadel is Ahlstrom Square! There's no bigger venue for a public execution in the entire Empire! Any society that allows an abomination like that to persist deserves to be destroyed. You see, many of the nobles love to walk through the execution grounds on a slow day, and us thieving crews get to know the big names pretty well. For instance, Straff Venture, always eager to break new grounds in recreational sexual assault... 

[STRAFF and ELEND enter stage left]

STRAFF: "My useless embarrassment of a son is lounging around at balls reading books again! Looks like I've got to get him another trip to the skaa whorehouses! God, I love me some rape!" 

ELEND: "Father, your sexual perversity has gone on long enough! Why, by this point I wouldn't be surprise if your festering, diabolic seed had violated thirty percent of the city's womenfolk by this point!" 

STRAFF: "I warn you, boy, you talk to me like that again and I'll send your insane half-brother after you! Now shut up and leave me to my whores!" 

[STRAFF and ELEND exit stage right]

KELSIER: "And Hoid, the weird beggar who seems to know too much and is always...showing up everywhere... 

HOID: [enter stage right, scribbling on a notepad] "And furthermore, you stubborn old reptile, I fear your foolish self-enslavement to pan-Cosmeric nonintervention will cause far more harm than you seem to think. Do you really think Roshar will keep Rayse distracted forever? If we do not act quickly..."

[HOID's voice trails off as he leaps off the front of the stage and disappears into the aisles]

KELSIER: "And Ashweather Cett, the crippled old bastard from nearby Fadrex City..." 

[CETT, pushed in his chair by ALLRIANNE, enters stage left]

CETT: "Bah! These soft Luthadel nobles! Back in the Western Dominance, I wouldn't be caught dead using prissy little 'damns' and 'hells' every whichway!" 

[CETT AND ALLRIANNE exit stage right] 

KELSIER: "Then there are the other residents of Luthadel, some natives, some just visiting. The head of a local thieving crew, some sort of horrible blob monster, that sort of thing. These normal Skaa just look the other way and try not to get noticed. And for the most part the Final Empire goes along just fine, and the reason for all that is atium. It's almost priceless, and it's what's kept the Lord Ruler's tyranny going for a thousand years. Why thanks to atium, the whole system's as stable as... well, as a Mistborn on a roof!" 

ALL: [singing] "ATIUUUUUUUM, AITUM! ATIUUUUUUUM, ATIUM!" "ATIUUUUUUUM, AITUM! ATIUUUUUUUM, ATIUM!" [repeat 4x, or until the audience begins to boo] 

Edited November 8, 2017 by Unlicensed Hemalurgist

[Sunbird she/her]

2 hours ago, Unlicensed Hemalurgist said:

 [repeat 4x, or until the audience begins to boo] 

Made me LOL. I need to go watch Fiddler on the Roof again. XD

[Kingsdaughter613 she/her]

On 3/10/2017 at 5:22 PM, Elenion said:

What about Denth plotting to take over Hallandren?  It's not exact, but that's the best I can come up with.

Bluefingers?

Sazed sings ‘God help the Outcasts’ at some point.

 

Edited November 7, 2017 by Kingsdaughter613

[Personification he/him]

I said I wouldn't post again, but.....Tada:

Truthless (to the tune of Blackbird by the Beatles)

Truthless breathing in the stormlight
Take this honorblade and learn to fly
For your crime
You were sentenced to become the assassin in white.

Truthless breathing in the stormlight
Watch these burning eyes you are not free
For your crimes
You were sentenced to plunge Roshar into anarchy

Truthless fly truthless fly
using stormlight lash yourself up high

Truthless fly truthless fly
using stormlight lash yourself up high

Truthless breathing in the stormlight
Take this honorblade and learn to fly
For your crime
You were sentenced to become the assassin in white.

You were sentenced to become the assassin in white.

You were sentenced to become the assassin in white.

[Unlicensed Hemalurgist he/him]

4 hours ago, Kingsdaughter613 said:

Bluefingers?

Shhhh, maybe he hasn't gotten that far. 

[ccstat he/him]

@Personification I love your Sound of Silence by Lift. Thanks for sharing! I hope to see many more posts from you.

[Personification he/him]

This one might be my favorite, so, without further ado, Tada:

The Bridgeman (to the tune of "The Boxer" by Simon and Garfunkel)

Spoiler

I am just a darkeyes
Though my story's seldom told
I have squandered my resistance
For a pocket full of mumbles, such are promises
I wear the vest
Of a man whose name I’ll never hear
He died just like the rest

When I left my home and my family
I was no more than a boy
In a company of spearmen
Who died protecting a lighteyes who’d
Never cared,
I was low, sent into the poorest quarters
Where the bridge carriers go
living through horrors nobody
Should have to know

Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes

Spending all my bridgeman's wages
I bought knobweed sap and gauze
Now I’ve drained my coffers
Just a diamond chip of stormlight
Oh what do I do
I do declare
I walked up to the honor chasm
But I found some comfort there, le le le le le le le

Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes

Now I’m almost out of sap and gauze
And wishing I was gone
Going home
Where the Parshendi arrows
Aren't bleeding me
Leading me
Going home

On the plateau stands a spearman
And a bridgeman by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of everyone that he’d let down
Or he’d failed till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the bridgeman still remains, mmm mmm

Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes
Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes
Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes
Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes
Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes
Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes
Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes
Li-ight eyes, li-ght eyes eyes li-ight
eyes light eyes, li-ight eyes li-ight eyes li-ight eyes

 

[Mulk he/him]

3 hours ago, Personification said:

This one might be my favorite, so, without further ado, Tada:

The Bridgeman (to the tune of "The Boxer" by Simon and Garfunkel)

take my upvotes!

[Personification he/him]

Okay