Pet Peeves

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

Unless the lawyer in question is the protagonist or a friend of the protagonist, every attorney I've seen so far on TV is either a complete jerk or bordering on obstruction-of-justice levels of unhelpful. I find this annoying.

Go Google Carl Maxey. I came across him in my research, and he was amazing.

[Quiver]

Um.

Okay, so. Here's a...peeve, I suppose. Anxiety might be a better word...?

Whenever I post on a forum, or talk to friends, or workers, or do...anything that involves a reaction? I sort of...

Panic. And start worrying what everyone will think of me. And worry that everyone is watching me and judging me.

Sorry.

[Mistrunner]

Um.

Okay, so. Here's a...peeve, I suppose. Anxiety might be a better word...?

Whenever I post on a forum, or talk to friends, or workers, or do...anything that involves a reaction? I sort of...

Panic. And start worrying what everyone will think of me. And worry that everyone is watching me and judging me.

Sorry.

Well, you're not alone, at least. I get the same feeling. "Oh crumpets, this picture of a kitten could somehow be construed as offensive! I must delete my account and never show my face again."

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

Um.

Okay, so. Here's a...peeve, I suppose. Anxiety might be a better word...?

Whenever I post on a forum, or talk to friends, or workers, or do...anything that involves a reaction? I sort of...

Panic. And start worrying what everyone will think of me. And worry that everyone is watching me and judging me.

Sorry.

Well, you're not alone, at least. I get the same feeling. "Oh crumpets, this picture of a kitten could somehow be construed as offensive! I must delete my account and never show my face again."

 

We should start a club. We could call it the Society Of Reluctant, Reticent Youngsters, or SORRY! for short. 

[Oversleep]

When you don't see faces and reactions to your actions, it's very easy to assume whole forum looks at you like that:


 
And then you start thinking "Oh my God now they're gonna totally give me a slating why did I even post anything; they probably all think I'm irritating and if they don't say it it's because they're too polite to tell me to shut up".
At least, that's what Ruin is whispering to me. Or part of my own mind. No difference, I usually maim that voice and do what I want to do. Sometimes it's hard, though.

Edited June 12, 2016 by Oversleep

[maxal]

People who fish for compliments. The ones who always have to share 200 selfies a day and caption them "im so ugly lol".

Just. Stahp.

 

I feel sorry for these people as their probably need others to approve of their action to feel confident about themselves. When someone writes "I'm so ugly", they do it because they wish for others to say "Not you are not ugly". It is sad because they can't achieve self-esteem on their own: they need others to do it for them.

 

 

Um.

Okay, so. Here's a...peeve, I suppose. Anxiety might be a better word...?

Whenever I post on a forum, or talk to friends, or workers, or do...anything that involves a reaction? I sort of...

Panic. And start worrying what everyone will think of me. And worry that everyone is watching me and judging me.

Sorry.

 

I still worry about what people think of me despite being a grown-up... It is not as bad as it used to be, but it never truly went away. I am not extraordinary good with people and I stopped counting the numbers of times I was thrown out of groups because reasons. Has anyone ever managed to get thrown out of a Cardio Stroller class before? I did    Being in my thirties didn't make it one bit easier 

 

I sympathize with you and I unfortunately do not have a wiser advice for it. Social interactions are not meant to be easy and whoever said it was was either blind or deluded 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

Downton Abbey has given us a quote that perfectly summarizes one of my literary pet peeves: 

 

"Don't be mysterious. It's the last resort of those with no secrets." 

 

I hate it when characters withhold information for no reason besides the need to maintain dramatic tension. If you don't have any secrets, embrace that fact and keep us interested in the details; but if your Wise Mentor Figure won't tell the Plucky Young Hero how to defeat the Big Bad, despite knowing that fact, then stop. Stop everything. 

[Kaymyth]

People who fish for compliments. The ones who always have to share 200 selfies a day and caption them "im so ugly lol".

Just. Stahp.

 

See, when I fish for compliments, I post a picture and say, "Look how awesome I am!  I am a total BAMF!"  And then everyone agrees, and my ego grows.

 

Soon it's going to be too big to fit in the house. 

 

Um.

Okay, so. Here's a...peeve, I suppose. Anxiety might be a better word...?

Whenever I post on a forum, or talk to friends, or workers, or do...anything that involves a reaction? I sort of...

Panic. And start worrying what everyone will think of me. And worry that everyone is watching me and judging me.

Sorry.

Well, you're not alone, at least. I get the same feeling. "Oh crumpets, this picture of a kitten could somehow be construed as offensive! I must delete my account and never show my face again."

We should start a club. We could call it the Society Of Reluctant, Reticent Youngsters, or SORRY! for short. 

 

You guys are so adorable.

[Delightful]

See, when I fish for compliments, I post a picture and say, "Look how awesome I am! I am a total BAMF!" And then everyone agrees, and my ego grows.

Soon it's going to be too big to fit in the house.

You guys are so adorable.

At some point instead of being "meep do you approve" I started saying things along the lines of "yeah cause I'm just awesome like that".

It helps. It actually kinda helps.

And the rest of you guys as someone just said and I can't check because mobile:

That voice of doubt is RUIN. Ignore it. Stamp it out. Take off your earrings

Unless earrings boost your confidence in which case Ruin is being good to you. Then definitely wear earrings.

[Silverblade5]

We should start a club. We could call it the Society Of Reluctant, Reticent Youngsters, or SORRY! for short.

All this talk has the troll on me wanting to make a Filli Vanilli reference

[Zathoth]

My usual reply to compliments is "Yeah, I know." Then I remember common courtesy and add "Unnn... eeeeh... oh! I mean thank you."

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

My usual reply to compliments is "Yeah, I know." Then I remember common courtesy and add "Unnn... eeeeh... oh! I mean thank you."

"I love you."

"I know. Unnn ....eeeh....oh! I mean--" *is frozen in carbonite*

[Delightful]

"I love you."

"I know. Unnn ....eeeh....oh! I mean--" *is frozen in carbonite*

this winz. With a z.

[Sunbird]

When I'm trying to drink water and start choking out of nowhere... This happens to me several times a week, at least. And then everybody looks at me like they're preparing to rush over and give me the Heimlich until I gasp, "I'm okay..."

[Delightful]

When people lecture you because they "don't like your attitude."

.....by which you mean my mood? Worldview? Existence? Yes of course I'll change my personality around to make you happy. Anything for you angry person.  

[Pinnacle-Ferring]

Has that happened to you? How on earth would people not like your attitude? You're the best!

[Chaos]

My pet peeve: people complaining about the new site when they obviously didn't even read the blog post which directly addressed the issue they had.

[Delightful]

19 minutes ago, Pinnacle-Ferring said:

Has that happened to you? How on earth would people not like your attitude? You're the best!

My mother today.......

previously, teachers. 

Thanks, that's really sweet of you.

[The Invested Beard]

6 hours ago, Chaos said:

My pet peeve: people complaining about the new site when they obviously didn't even read the blog post which directly addressed the issue they had.

 

Speaking of which, could you make the site brighter? I don't feel like it's bright enough.

 

Also we need a sarcasm font. I'll just see myself out now.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

6 hours ago, Chaos said:

My pet peeve: people complaining about the new site when they obviously didn't even read the blog post which directly addressed the issue they had.

 

1 minute ago, The Invested Beard said:

 

Speaking of which, could you make the site brighter? I don't feel like it's bright enough.

 

Also we need a sarcasm font. I'll just see myself out now.

I'll just leave this here.

[Mestiv]

23 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

I'll just leave this here.

The Shard definitely needs more kittens (or pugs). We don't need Aons, replace them with pugs and kittens! 

[Delightful]

56 minutes ago, Mestiv said:

The Shard definitely needs more kittens (or pugs). We don't need Aons, replace them with pugs and kittens! 

I propose expectant pugs for unread topics and smug kittens for read ones. 

[Nyali]

7 hours ago, Chaos said:

My pet peeve: people complaining about the new site when they obviously didn't even read the blog post which directly addressed the issue they had.

Wait, there was a blog post?

On 6/12/2016 at 2:11 AM, Mistrunner said:

People who fish for compliments. The ones who always have to share 200 selfies a day and caption them "im so ugly lol".

Just. Stahp.

A pet peeve of mine: people being mocked for having low self-esteem.

Some people have body image issues, and some people with body image issues are too anxious about it to seek professional help, so they make posts like that trying to find someone who will agree with them and validate their feelings of self-hatred. Often people in that position ignore or blow off compliments/denials of their ugliness because they honestly don't believe them to be sincere. In other words, they aren't fishing for compliments, even if they think they are - they're fishing for someone to actually tell them right out that yes, they're ugly, validating their feelings of being ugly.

And some people who behave like you describe are just egotistical jerks who want to look like humble because they think that makes them a better person or something. The internet has all kinds of people!

If a close friend tells you, "I'm so ugly," if you want to help them, the right answer (in my opinion) isn't "no you're not!," it's, "why do you think that?" If a random acquaintance does it, the right answer (in my opinion) is to either ignore it if you think it's egotistical behavior (or if you just don't care enough to say anything), or to send them a private message suggesting that, if they really feel that way, maybe it would help if they spoke to their therapist about it. Feeling ugly is rarely purely about physical characteristics.

Personally, I do often feel ugly, and I do often say something about it, but only to my wife or my therapist. I'm not fishing for compliments, I'm hoping for solutions. They've helped me identify why I feel that way, and what I can do to either resolve the problems or accept the flaws (examples: "My anterior pelvic tilt makes me look fat even though I'm actually rather thin" -> "You know, if you do physical therapy every day, you can fix that." "My lower outer face shape looks all wrong" -> "You can mitigate that by applying your bronzer to your cheeks in a certain way that adds shadows, giving them the illusion of a more rounded shape. Here, let me show you." "I hate my voice" -> "Have you tried seeing a speech pathologist? Here, let me give you the contact info for the speech pathologist I used to see who helped me.")

 

Other pet peeves:

Excessive whitespace/wasted screen real estate in UI designs.

Restaurants that don't have baby changing stations in the bathrooms.

People who tell me how to raise my daughter, or that I'm a bad mother because I listen to her doctors instead of reading mommy blogs.

People who bring up their extreme stance on controversial socio-political issues at work, at parties with bipartisan attendance or strangers you've never met before, or at any other inappropriate place. A few anecdotal examples, hidden behind a spoiler tag in case of triggers:

Spoiler

• "Women have no place in the military" - a friend of my wife's family at her father's funeral.
• "Abortions are murder and people who have them should go to jail for the rest of their lives." - a friend of a friend at a boardgaming party with a bunch of people she didn't know. (I'm not saying anything one way or another on the subject, just that it's kinda a little inappropriate to bring up around strangers at a light social gathering of unknown political leanings and medical history)
• I think the worst I've heard though was: "Eugenics was a good idea, we should start using it in the US" - a coworker during lunch.

 

 

[Mistrunner]

42 minutes ago, Nyali said:

A pet peeve of mine: people being mocked for having low self-esteem.

Some people have body image issues, and some people with body image issues are too anxious about it to seek professional help, so they make posts like that trying to find someone who will agree with them and validate their feelings of self-hatred. Often people in that position ignore or blow off compliments/denials of their ugliness because they honestly don't believe them to be sincere. In other words, they aren't fishing for compliments, even if they think they are - they're fishing for someone to actually tell them right out that yes, they're ugly, validating their feelings of being ugly.

And some people who behave like you describe are just egotistical jerks who want to look like humble because they think that makes them a better person or something. The internet has all kinds of people!

If a close friend tells you, "I'm so ugly," if you want to help them, the right answer (in my opinion) isn't "no you're not!," it's, "why do you think that?" If a random acquaintance does it, the right answer (in my opinion) is to either ignore it if you think it's egotistical behavior (or if you just don't care enough to say anything), or to send them a private message suggesting that, if they really feel that way, maybe it would help if they spoke to their therapist about it. Feeling ugly is rarely purely about physical characteristics.

Personally, I do often feel ugly, and I do often say something about it, but only to my wife or my therapist. I'm not fishing for compliments, I'm hoping for solutions. They've helped me identify why I feel that way, and what I can do to either resolve the problems or accept the flaws (examples: "My anterior pelvic tilt makes me look fat even though I'm actually rather thin" -> "You know, if you do physical therapy every day, you can fix that." "My lower outer face shape looks all wrong" -> "You can mitigate that by applying your bronzer to your cheeks in a certain way that adds shadows, giving them the illusion of a more rounded shape. Here, let me show you." "I hate my voice" -> "Have you tried seeing a speech pathologist? Here, let me give you the contact info for the speech pathologist I used to see who helped me.")

  Reveal hidden contents

• "Women have no place in the military" - a friend of my wife's family at her father's funeral.
• "Abortions are murder and people who have them should go to jail for the rest of their lives." - a friend of a friend at a boardgaming party with a bunch of people she didn't know. (I'm not saying anything one way or another on the subject, just that it's kinda a little inappropriate to bring up around strangers at a light social gathering of unknown political leanings and medical history)
• I think the worst I've heard though was: "Eugenics was a good idea, we should start using it in the US" - a coworker during lunch.

 

First off, I apologize if anything I said was taken as belittling to those with low self-esteem. Honestly, I think it's something most everyone struggles with in some way throughout their lives. I realize that there's many types of people on the internet, and the ones I was referring to are those who specifically say these things so they seem humble.

Of course, I also think that there's far better ways to deal with issues like this than seeking validation through social media. I'm really glad you found a way that works for you.

[Nyali]

2 minutes ago, Mistrunner said:

Of course, I also think that there's far better ways to deal with issues like this than seeking validation through social media.

Oh, totally! I was saying that those people aren't seeking validation, they're digging for people to tell them how terrible they are. My point was that posting things like you describe in social media is a terrible way to deal with low self-esteem and those people should really seek professional help in overcoming their low self-esteem. But, they may be too anxious to do so, instead opting to use social media to fish for external derision that matches the way they feel about themselves, which is a really, really bad way to handle it!

But, I didn't mean to imply I thought you were belittling people with low self esteem (though I realize I kinda totally did - sorry!), just to be careful when people behave like you described, because while some of them are egotistical jerks being passive-aggressively "humble," there are other reasons people behave that way.