Mental health club!

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

1 minute ago, Verdance said:

See this is the debate. I have been growing steadily more accepting of suicide as a morally justified action, even though it’s honestly something thay should be avoided at all costs

I think that suicide is a stupid idea, and you should never encourage someone to do it, but it isn't the fault of the suicider if they suicide

[Verdance he/him]

5 minutes ago, Frustration said:

@Usseewa I need you to do something for me alright.

Find someone, be they a roommate, a friend, a family member, anyone. And I need you to give them the knife.

My parents have all my knives

[Shatter He/Him]

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

I need to study but it's.. just feels impossible or not worth it.

I didn't even take the best notes, some stuff are completely missing. Each semester I just feel like I'm barely making it through, even if my grades are good.

And... I don't know I was thinking..

And the pain in my wrist is unbearable even though it's so dull..

When I'm lying in bed trying to fall asleep or if im just thinking in silence (well... i have a song playing on repeat rn..) then I feel it and I just want it to go away...

I was also thinking of.. different ways I could end myself.. and I couldn't bear to imagine the pain of some of them. I've always hated the idea of pain, especially certain types. It's the subject of some of the intrusive thoughts I've had in the past. It would just be unbearable. I imagined myself just.. wanting to die, if I survived and went to a hospital, just wanting to die and not face the pain. Or be unconscious. But then the aftermath. I don't want all that pain. So some of the methods would probably be less painful, especially if they worked. But I also don't think I want to die... But I also don't want to die in the future.. like I want control of when/how I die..? And idk I'm just really sad I think and it's kind of my fault but I've also been thinking like this for.. a bit. Like maybe a few days or a few weeks or maybe even longer, i don't know. I also thought of how I might make some people who know me lives pretty bad, or at least make them sad, and I don't want that, I kinda wish I could die... without making people sad. Like it would be easier if I didn't have anyone, idk. But I also can't really come up with a reason why I would want to die, like one that I would have to tell a therapist or doctor or someone. But also one of the only things that makes me hesitant is that I have/had so many plans and dreams. Things I want to write, code, create, etc. But also it's not like I'm making progress on anything. I don't even have a plan for my future, which I guess is fine but... I just don't know. I sort of wish I had no one. But I don't want to go to sleep again tonight in pain, even if it's only 30 minutes or however long it takes me to fall asleep, because each second is eternity. Even if I know I'll fall asleep eventually if I just lay there, it doesn't help. I can't handle pain, not this kind. I just feel like... like since I can't tell anyone about this, they just think I'm not trying, or slacking, or being rude, or something when in reality I want to do it but I just can't. And I sound so depressed whenever I talk to someone, it sounds so depressed. I just want to.. be alone and.. idk. I think it would be nice on a roof at night, to be honest. Calming. I don't want people to see my dead body though. No one should see that. But I don't really want to be forgotten? I don't even have that many methods to... do it. And I know.. I shouldn't.. but I don't know. I guess I'm just thinking the my life is kinda pointless thing. Like.. I haven't really talked to people that much IRL in... idk, weeks maybe. Outside of the shard, I haven't even texted people that much. I guess I did talk to my therapist whenever that was, and I had dnd once. but idk. and the semester is almost over and i probably wont really talk to anyone over the summer either. and in the fall ill just have to do the grind all over again. it feels like this class i took once where I had to write an essay every week or something. I get it done, then immediately have to do another, never-ending. I finish my work sunday, then start/procrastinate next week's work. and I have to study. I don't have much time. and i dont even want to eat anymore, I'd rather be hungry and just.. be asleep all day and not wake up because then I'd be awake and not sleepy and couldn't fall asleep again. It's kinda of... surprising how little work i have left for this school semester. But still it feels like a mountain I have to climb, or a race I'm late to that everyone has started already. Basically every week I've been telling myself "I'll take better notes next class!" and.. I don't. And like, I sometimes don't even know what I want to do. And my days aren't adding up to anything, each day is just like the notes, it's just me making it through the day, sometimes looking forward to a future date like the next therapy session. I barely know what day it is, because it doesn't matter. I mean if I think about it, I know what today is, but only because I checked the day a few hours ago. Like, weekends don't really matter to me tbh. They're just for more schoolwork. For more procrastination. And also while I was sitting and thinking, I pictured myself getting my knife and cutting but worse, deeper, longer, more painful, more blood, more serious. And lately I've been thinking how... what does it matter what happens to my body if I'll just die? So what if I don't eat or if I cut myself because... yeah. And I don't really know what's wrong at this point. It could honestly be related to my being trans. I haven't done anything more to get hrt, or to transition really, besides what I already have done. I haven't even wore a skirt in... weeks, months, idk, because it's inconvenient and .. yeah. I looked in the mirror a few times the past few days and I liked how I looked. A depressed girl, or just a girl, is what I saw. I liked it. But then earlier today I was thinking how I thought of myself as a guy, maybe in a dream or something? And then I thought that I'm just seeing myself as how I've always seen myself, and that person is not really a guy, nor a girl. Basically emo, or something. Or some shy loser. But also I don't really know what a guy is like. And I'm worried about my sexuality and whether I actually like guys. And voice training is too hard, I just want an easy fix that never exists. And sometimes I still question if I'm trans or if I'm just convincing myself I am, like all these other things. Like, and I kinda avoided saying this in the past, but for the past month or weeks idk I've basically convinced myself to some level that I have schizophrenia. but in reality the only signs I show are the depression signs which don't really mean anything on their own. but it doesn't matter. I can just keep it to myself so no one judges me, you know? I keep stuff to myself sometimes because I know if I say it I'll get refuted or judged or something. Like you know all those thoughts like if you say "I'm a loser" and someone says "no you're not" then like... it's kinda ignoring the purpose, I guess? Like the point is that I feel bad about myself not that I need affirmation. And sometimes I do need affirmation. Also why do random muscles keep twitching, it's annoying... But back to schizophrenia, I know it's not a joke or anything and it's a serious thing but. And I've basically noticed all my possible auditory (and some visual) hallucinations that in reality are probably either normal or simply actually happened (and therefore not hallucinations). And I don't want (but maybe need?) anyone to say I don't have schizophrenia, or anything else for my other things I think. I already know that logically I probably don't, but I can't.. I can't explain it? Like.. I know something so I don't want someone to say it, I don't want to just be judged when I've already judged myself in my mind or been judged before. If someone says I'm not suicidal, I don't want to hear that because it's shameful that I thought I was. If I think I'm dying of cancer and the doctor does a friendly laugh and says it's something innocuous, I don't always like hearing that (this specific example has not happened, but I'm talking about stuff similar). I just feel like a fool. If I tell someone I'm worried/I think I have schizophrenia and they say "Lily, you clearly don't, no need to worry," then I won't feel relieved, I'll just continue thinking maybe I do while knowing that anyone who matters will say I don't. Idk, this kinda devolved into me venting about my general mental health crap that I've been thinking and struggling with for a while. But yeah. And... please do not judge me, but in a sense, I want to have schizophrenia. Please do not judge me. I already know I shouldn't want that, it's serious, it's not a joke, idk... And I think maybe my whole not wanting to be judged could be a problem. Oh yeah that reminds me of what I was gonna say, that I hate being wrong or corrected or something. It hurts. I've probably talked about this before, I have yeah. But when I got my essay back recently, I got a fairly low grade (for me) and I didn't really want to read the feedback but I did and some of it was what I already knew. When I was writing the essay, I knew it felt disorganized and that I didn't really take the time to organize it and that is one thing the instructor commented on. Lots of times when someone's talking to me, I either sense the "but" or falsely assume there's one, or whatever. If someone says something good, I sort of cringe or wince and wait for the ", but..." Or if someone breathes in then I know it's gonna be bad and I can't stand/handle it. If I start reading a message/post and see that it's bad, then I just.. die, kind of. I want to hit myself, I guess. I just know I messed up, even if I don't know exactly how, and I know I can't undo it. I just feel like I'm somehow gonna do poorly academically. I have imposter syndrome l think. I also struggle to formulate my words or whatever the generic phrase is, so I feel like a... fool compared to people who speak or write so eloquently, so confidently. I guess sometimes I quit before trying because I think I'll fail, so it ends up just being a self-fulfilling prophecy, I guess. But there's just so stormin' much. So much in my confused brain, so much I can't explain properly, or so much I... idk!! I had a habit when I was younger of saying "I don't know," and clearly it hasn't faded. But I just want people to understand me, but I can't even understand myself. There's just too much, in my head. And sometimes I feel like I expressed something greatly, but either I didn't or it's just a once in a while thing, a fluke. And my arms are sore... and I just want someone to notice... And if I try to word

sorry i forgot what i was gonna say

but sayonara, gotta study...

I understand not being able to vocalise what you're thinking.

*hugs*

You seem to be the opposite of me. I try to find an answer for everything instead of saying idk, and I get things wrong. Not everything is your fault. Not everything is terrible.

*hugs*

It's ok.'ve been questioning all my decisions lately. It's ok to question a little, but doing it over and over and over and over makes it worse. Sometimes you need to pick a path, and whenever your mind says, 'This decision was horrible' (and it will. It's very believable), you have to force yourself through it. So pick a path. I know what this feels like. Much of what I'm thinking, I can't write because my mind can't translate it, but yeah.

*hugs*

13 minutes ago, Verdance said:

See this is the debate. I have been growing steadily more accepting of suicide as a morally justified action, even though it’s honestly something they should be avoided at all costs

actually to the point where i cannot use morality as a shield against my own self destructive behavior. The context of using guilt as a shield against suicide would be more along the lines of ‘i would probably kill myself if you did’ than involving making life hell. But then again i also believe in hell and so suicide isn’t really a release from pain in my eyes

i was less likely to consider suicide when i thought i was going to hell, actually. 

Personally, I believe suicide is one of the worst things someone can do. Suicide means you give up because you feel the world doesn't need you, or you have failed. Sure, the world is a cold, dark place, BUT you can find the warmth there. It hurts the people around you. They feel horrible and responsible. Yeah. 

18 minutes ago, Verdance said:

Is it morally wrong for me to guilt someone put of committing suicide

Hypothetically 

You must attempt to reconnect them to obligations, relationships, and consequences they’ve emotionally lost sight of. I learned from my father that the worst thing someone can do is stand aside while someone dies. You have the moral imperative and duty as a human being to preserve, protect, and nurture life. Hell, if that doesn't work, you get the police and paramedics and parens patriae goes into effect.

Edited May 11 by Shatter

[Aeoryi she/her]

10 minutes ago, Verdance said:

See this is the debate. I have been growing steadily more accepting of suicide as a morally justified action, even though it’s honestly something they should be avoided at all costs

actually to the point where i cannot use morality as a shield against my own self destructive behavior. The context of using guilt as a shield against suicide would be more along the lines of ‘i would probably kill myself if you did’ than involving making life hell. But then again i also believe in hell and so suicide isn’t really a release from pain in my eyes

i was less likely to consider suicide when i thought i was going to hell, actually. 

I'm not going to discuss the morality of suicide nor do I think it is going to be a beneficial debate 

[Cw: Suicide]

Spoiler

The thing is when you attempt to guilt trip someone as vulnerable as someone who is considering suicide, you can sometimes remove yourself as a support pillar from that person, which means they have even less support. They don't need even less support, right?

I would say that in a situation where there is an active and immediate threat of another committing suicide, and you are certain it will work, it can be beneficial but you also have to consider that this isn't a trick you can pull multiple times- said individuals will likely be less likely to listen to you if you keep on trying to emotionally manipulate them into living. 

Saying something like "I'd commit suicide if you did" doesn't actually solve many issues- yes it may make someone feel guilty but whether true or not it's not necessarily going to make someone care, right? I know that in my worst moments if someone told me that, I wouldn't stop just for them because there's a point at which you accept that consequences follow your actions and just stop caring about them 

 

[Shatter He/Him]

5 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I'm not going to discuss the morality of suicide nor do I think it is going to be a beneficial debate 

[Cw: Suicide]

  Hide contents

The thing is when you attempt to guilt trip someone as vulnerable as someone who is considering suicide, you can sometimes remove yourself as a support pillar from that person, which means they have even less support. They don't need even less support, right?

I would say that in a situation where there is an active and immediate threat of another committing suicide, and you are certain it will work, it can be beneficial but you also have to consider that this isn't a trick you can pull multiple times- said individuals will likely be less likely to listen to you if you keep on trying to emotionally manipulate them into living. 

Saying something like "I'd commit suicide if you did" doesn't actually solve many issues- yes it may make someone feel guilty but whether true or not it's not necessarily going to make someone care, right? I know that in my worst moments if someone told me that, I wouldn't stop just for them because there's a point at which you accept that consequences follow your actions and just stop caring about them 

 

Oh yeah. Of course. There's a thin line between being manipulative and helping steer them away from a bad decision. Being manipulative can cause even worse feelings in the person.

What I meant is you should use every resource possible to help. You wish to help, not harm.

Edited May 11 by Shatter

[Verdance he/him]

3 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I'm not going to discuss the morality of suicide nor do I think it is going to be a beneficial debate 

[Cw: Suicide]

  Hide contents

The thing is when you attempt to guilt trip someone as vulnerable as someone who is considering suicide, you can sometimes remove yourself as a support pillar from that person, which means they have even less support. They don't need even less support, right?

I would say that in a situation where there is an active and immediate threat of another committing suicide, and you are certain it will work, it can be beneficial but you also have to consider that this isn't a trick you can pull multiple times- said individuals will likely be less likely to listen to you if you keep on trying to emotionally manipulate them into living. 

Saying something like "I'd commit suicide if you did" doesn't actually solve many issues- yes it may make someone feel guilty but whether true or not it's not necessarily going to make someone care, right? I know that in my worst moments if someone told me that, I wouldn't stop just for them because there's a point at which you accept that consequences follow your actions and just stop caring about them 

 

Hmmm… well put. 
i have a different friend who i feel right now i just can’t help at all, being there doesnt seem to be much a help anymore

i feel helpless

[Shatter He/Him]

1 minute ago, Verdance said:

Hmmm… well put. 
i have a different friend who i feel right now i just can’t help at all, being there doesnt seem to be much a help anymore

i feel helpless

is it possible just to pop in and say "hi, how ya doin?"

it can help more than you think

[Verdance he/him]

6 minutes ago, Shatter said:

is it possible just to pop in and say "hi, how ya doin?"

it can help more than you think

Yeah, i do that

i just- kay so i dont want to reveal any other information about them but their situation has been getting steadily worse

mainly getting harrassed by an ex has inflamed their guilt and depression to an extreme and therapy hasn’t been much help apparently 

maybe there’s nothing more we can do

Edited May 11 by Verdance

[Shatter He/Him]

11 minutes ago, Verdance said:

Yeah, i do that

i just- kay so i dont want to reveal any other information about them but their situation has been getting steadily worse

mainly getting harrassed by an ex has inflamed their guilt and depression to an extreme and therapy hasn’t been much help apparently 

maybe there’s nothing more we can do

You should keep in steady contact, encourage sleep/eating/basic routine, etc. If it gets worse, involve adults or whichever organization is in your area that deals with these cases. My main question is whether they are suicidal? If they are, this is way out of your field. You'd need to get adults or the government involved.

 

Edited May 11 by Shatter

[#1 Taln Fan he/him]

12 hours ago, Usseewa said:

i have therapy coming up soon.

Sorry you're going through all that, just remember that things can and will change, and you will be warm again. Please take the opportunity to tell your therapist everything when you meet with them next. The suicidal thoughts and the SH. Exactly what you've been thinking and doing. You can only see them so often, so use this chance while you have it and tell them everything, so they can actually help you. You can't just keep bottling suicidality and SH up without telling someone IRL, you need to talk to an actual professional about it, especially someone you can see regularly. Crisis hotlines are amazing, but your therapist can work with you in a more involved way and track your progress and give more personalized help.

And I realize that this isn't the advice you may want to hear, but if you have parents who love you, please involve them. Especially if you're a teenager/live with them, they're the ones in the best position to help you. 

[Verdance he/him]

3 minutes ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

Sorry you're going through all that, just remember that things can and will change, and you will be warm again. Please take the opportunity to tell your therapist everything when you meet with them next. The suicidal thoughts and the SH. Exactly what you've been thinking and doing. You can only see them so often, so use this chance while you have it and tell them everything, so they can actually help you. You can't just keep bottling suicidality and SH up without telling someone IRL, you need to talk to an actual professional about it, especially someone you can see regularly. Crisis hotlines are amazing, but your therapist can work with you in a more involved way and track your progress and give more personalized help.

Can i ask your opinion on a SU I posted last night? You seem to have some of the better positions on mental health issues.

[#1 Taln Fan he/him]

14 minutes ago, Verdance said:

Can i ask your opinion on a SU I posted last night? You seem to have some of the better positions on mental health issues.

Sure! I'll respond here, since it may be applicable for other folks as well
(Spoilered for length)
 

Spoiler

100% valid to feel that way, especially if you've had mental health struggles in the past. It's great that you're feeling good now! (Congrats on the 2.5 months clean!! ) The problem probably stems from this annoying thing called self-verification theory. Basically, our brain has a fixed view of ourselves, and doesn't like it when we stray from that image. If you were depressed for a while/self harming, your brain might then say "I'm someone who struggles with mental health issues". And now that you're doing better, your unconscious brain is panicking and going "whoah whoah whoah, you're not supposed to be doing this, you're someone who struggles with mental health issues, remember?"
Even when a change is positive, our brain wants to revert back to the familiar, with how it self identifies. If I had to guess, that's probably part of why you're feeling that way about your own future. Even if consciously, you know that you're currently happy and don't see a logical reason why you'd suddenly go way downhill, your unconscious brain might view that state as the normal, and want you to revert back, if that makes sense.
There's probably a lot of factors, but I'd guess that might be one. 

Just remember that it is totally possible to conquer particular mental health struggles. Yes, there'll always be difficulties and struggles, but it's completely doable to conquer your major battles permanently, and leave your depression/SH in the past forever. (Which does indeed happen for most teenagers, especially by age 25 when the prefrontal cortex is fully developed) There'll be struggles ahead in life, as well as more great days and friends, but for now, just enjoy the fact that you're doing well now, in the present, and you can continue to do so. Focus your identity as much as possible on who you are now.

Lmk if that makes sense

[Verdance he/him]

1 minute ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

Sure! I'll respond here, since it may be applicable for other folks as well
(Spoilered for length)
 

  Hide contents

100% valid to feel that way, especially if you've had mental health struggles in the past. It's great that you're feeling good now! (Congrats on the 2.5 months clean!! ) The problem probably stems from this annoying thing called self-verification theory. Basically, our brain has a fixed view of ourselves, and doesn't like it when we stray from that image. If you were depressed for a while/self harming, your brain might then say "I'm someone who struggles with mental health issues". And now that you're doing better, your unconscious brain is panicking and going "whoah whoah whoah, you're not supposed to be doing this, you're someone who struggles with mental health issues, remember?"
Even when a change is positive, our brain wants to revert back to the familiar, with how it self identifies. If I had to guess, that's probably part of why you're feeling that way about your own future. Even if consciously, you know that you're currently happy and don't see a logical reason why you'd suddenly go way downhill, your unconscious brain might view that state as the normal, and want you to revert back, if that makes sense.
There's probably a lot of factors, but I'd guess that might be one. 

Just remember that it is totally possible to conquer particular mental health struggles. Yes, there'll always be difficulties and struggles, but it's completely doable to conquer your major battles permanently, and leave your depression/SH in the past forever. (Which does indeed happen for most teenagers, especially by age 25 when the prefrontal cortex is fully developed) There'll be struggles ahead in life, as well as more great days and friends, but for now, just enjoy the fact that you're doing well now, in the present, and you can continue to do so. Focus your identity as much as possible on who you are now.

 

I-cant-upvote-this

*frustrated left clicking*

thanks, though. Sometimes you kind of do still have those episodes, mainly i have been trying a: to work through them without making stupid decisions, which is going fine, and b: not dragging other people down with me. 

We’re all trying to (or already have) survive adolescence, i guess

[#1 Taln Fan he/him]

8 minutes ago, Verdance said:

I-cant-upvote-this

*frustrated left clicking*

thanks, though. Sometimes you kind of do still have those episodes, mainly i have been trying a: to work through them without making stupid decisions, which is going fine, and b: not dragging other people down with me. 

We’re all trying to (or already have) survive adolescence, i guess

Not making stupid decisions is a great step, and harder than it sounds sometimes xD And not dragging people down with you is a good goal, as long as you're not accomplishing it by not telling any close friends about your thoughts and struggles. Real friends want to know if you're struggling, and we tend to overestimate how much we're actually burdening others

8 minutes ago, Verdance said:

We’re all trying to (or already have) survive adolescence, i guess

Not saying this to invalidate your feelings at all (as someone who's only a few months into his 20's and is still developing), but a lot of mental health struggles are somewhat attributed to just being under 25 and not having a fully developed brain, which sucks xD Our brains are bad at figuring out healthy coping mechanisms, we constantly compare ourselves to peers and try to figure out our place in the world, and we're trying to figure out our identity. All while battling through school and academic stress, plus hormones. Tis a perfect recipe for mental struggles, unfortunately

 

 

[Verdance he/him]

4 minutes ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

Not making stupid decisions is a great step, and harder than it sounds sometimes xD And not dragging people down with you is a good goal, as long as you're not accomplishing it by not telling any close friends about your thoughts and struggles. Real friends want to know if you're struggling, and we tend to overestimate how much we're actually burdening others

Not saying this to invalidate your feelings at all (as someone who's only a few months into his 20's and is still developing), but a lot of mental health struggles are somewhat attributed to just being under 25 and not having a fully developed brain, which sucks xD Our brains are bad at figuring out healthy coping mechanisms, we constantly compare ourselves to peer and try to figure out our place in the world, and we're trying to figure out our identity. All while battling through school and academic stress, plus hormones. Tis a perfect recipe for mental struggles, unfortunately

 

 

Yup

i think that being aware of the effect circumstances have really helps a lot, though. Distancing myself partially has helped me manage ADHD and depression. Those things are part of me but don’t define me.

[#1 Taln Fan he/him]

2 minutes ago, Verdance said:

i think that being aware of the effect circumstances have really helps a lot, though. Distancing myself partially has helped me manage ADHD and depression. Those things are part of me but don’t define me.

Yep that's great, and it's important step in helping battle the self verification stuff. That's part of why in the field of mental health, we use specific language that emphasizes that. E.g. "Person with autism" rather than "Autistic person", or "Person with depression" rather than "depressed person".
I'd say in some cases it's even better to say "Right now I feel sad/depressed", rather than "I have depression"/"I struggle with depression", because it emphasizes that you can improve and overcome those struggles

[Verdance he/him]

Support a mindset that the suffering is temporary, overcomable. Is that a word? Overcomable?

[NerdSandwich she/her]

Yes, I believe it is a word.

Hi guys.

This is a really pointless post probably but---

*hugs*

*hugs*

So many storming hugs.

Edited May 11 by NerdSandwich

[Rynturning_Light She/Her]

@#1 Taln Fan

I know this is like a pointless ask, but do you have any advice about how exactly to open up in therapy?

I've got an appointment coming up, and my mental health has been in the slums recently. My depressed feelings have gotten worse, and honestly overtaken my anxiety, but I'd rather stick a knife in my thigh than tell my therapist that.

It needs to get out tho, and I'm not exactly getting better on my own. I just, I don't want to tell her. Call it fear or something else, but the thought of admitting my actual struggles puts me off to the point of anger, which I know is a defense mechanism, but i can't stop it

[NerdSandwich she/her]

Oh geez therapy.

We used to have it online during COVID but I would completely ignore my therapist and mess around the computer.

Now it's in person. Not much has changed.

Except I just purposefully distract myself with my thoughts

[Rynturning_Light She/Her]

Just now, NerdSandwich said:

Oh geez therapy.

We used to have it online during COVID but I would completely ignore my therapist and mess around the computer.

Now it's in person. Not much has changed.

Except I just purposefully distract myself with my thoughts

Yeah, I started fairly recently

I've told her that my main issue is my anxiety, and I mentioned last session that it's started to induce depression. But, I've neglected to tell her how bad my depressive thoughts have gotten

I'm just kinda letting it remain focused on anxiety management. It's easier that way, but it's not gonna help if I don't actually tell her that I've started to hate myself

[NerdSandwich she/her]

Well uhm don't hate yourself bc from what I know about you you don't deserve to be hated?
I know it's not that simple, trust me. But uh at least yk like don't completely neglect your needs.

[Rynturning_Light She/Her]

1 minute ago, NerdSandwich said:

Well uhm don't hate yourself bc from what I know about you you don't deserve to be hated?
I know it's not that simple, trust me. But uh at least yk like don't completely neglect your needs.

Thanks. I've been told that, but I can't get my own consciousness to believe it

I'm not. Like the only good thing about masking this is I'm basically forced to take care of myself, 'cause if I don't people will ask if I'm okay and I don't want that confrontation. Other than that, meh.

I'm trying to get out of the house when I can and get social interaction. It's not helping much, but I didn't expect it to. These feelings run deep

[NerdSandwich she/her]

Yeah that's why I do the bare minimum for myself too.
You're probably getting more positive social interaction then I am anyway.

[Rynturning_Light She/Her]

Yeah, I’ve been putting more conscious effort into forcing myself to talk to people when I felt this wave coming up

Those around me, at least. Those I don’t see everyday or I know from online, they can reach out if they need me. Other than that, I’m leaving them be