Mental health club!

[Verdance he/him]

2 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

I can't

Then the person I give it to would know.

 

edit

also I've been trusting people less and I'm paranoid about certain things...

Throw it in a goddamn lake

make a symbol or promise of it to yourself 

[Usseewa]

3 minutes ago, Verdance said:

Throw it in a goddamn lake

make a symbol or promise of it to yourself 

No. I can't.

Edited May 12 by Usseewa

[#1 Taln Fan he/him]

10 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Then the person I give it to would know.

That is part of the point I'm afraid. Having a person IRL who knows and can help is gonna have way more potential benefit than someone online.

5 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

No. I can't.

Is there a strong reason you need the knife? If it's not super essential, better to lose a knife forever than to keep hurting yourself

[Usseewa]

17 minutes ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

That is part of the point I'm afraid. Having a person IRL who knows and can help is gonna have way more potential benefit than someone online.

Is there a strong reason you need the knife? If it's not super essential, better to lose a knife forever than to keep hurting yourself

I don't know...

I'm sorry I just can't 

can't think about it now

I think I'm having something akin to a panic attack and I don't know what to do and idk it's hard to post about it too but that's why I posted in the first place

 

Edited May 12 by Usseewa

[Verdance he/him]

29 minutes ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

That is part of the point I'm afraid. Having a person IRL who knows and can help is gonna have way more potential benefit than someone online.

Is there a strong reason you need the knife? If it's not super essential, better to lose a knife forever than to keep hurting yourself

This. Both of these things are very right

Listen, we care about you and want to help, but if you really want to stop, you can’t just make it easy to do again. And it’s not going to be easy. Imagine making your new years resolution going off sugar forever and then you go back to your 9-5 at the ice cream shop with free samples and an employee discount.

you’re going to have to find a new job

and practically that means talking to someone face to face about your SH and suicidal thoughts, maybe a counselor but a different trusted adult is also a good option, and you’re going to have to put the knofe out of reach. Please. 

I promise you can and will get through this, but don’t keep setting yourself up to fail. You are worthy of so much more than self harm.

Edited May 12 by Verdance

[Usseewa]

5 minutes ago, Verdance said:

This. Both of these things are very right

Listen, we care about you and want to help, but if you really want to stop, you can’t just make it easy to do again. And it’s not going to be easy. Imagine making your new years resolution going off sugar forever and then you go back to your 9-5 at the ice cream shop with free samples and an employee discount.

you’re going to have to find a new job

and practically that means talking to someone face to face about your SH and suicidal thoughts, maybe a counselor but a different trusted adult is also a good option, and you’re going to have to put the knofe out of reach. Please. 

I promise you can and will get through this, but don’t keep setting yourself up to fail. You are worthy of so much more than self harm.

I hate new years resolutions and other empty promises because I know I'll either forget or find it easier to not abide to them.

i already talked to therapist. just not the full extent of suicidal stuff, but even i dont knwo what that is.

i don't trust anyone.

i just need to hold out for the next therapy session..

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Usseewa said:

I hate new years resolutions and other empty promises because I know I'll either forget or find it easier to not abide to them.

i already talked to therapist. just not the full extent of suicidal stuff, but even i dont knwo what that is.

i don't trust anyone.

i just need to hold out for the next therapy session..

Are you clean today?

[Usseewa]

Just now, Verdance said:

Are you clean today?

Yes

i almost wasnt though.

in the past hour

i was near knives.

i felt myself forgetting that i was supposed to be not doing it

when i held the knife the instict was to cut

i didn't though

i'm so hungry..

i ate normal today though

im jut hungry..

[Shatter He/Him]

5 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Yes

i almost wasnt though.

in the past hour

i was near knives.

i felt myself forgetting that i was supposed to be not doing it

when i held the knife the instict was to cut

i didn't though

i'm so hungry..

i ate normal today though

im jut hungry..

Have you had some water? that helps. 

darn

i need to hydrate

hol' up

[Usseewa]

Just now, Shatter said:

Have you had some water? that helps. 

darn

i need to hydrate

i gues

i dont think ive been hydrating enough in the past week

i went to bed with a bad headache like twice  a few night sa go.

 

[Verdance he/him]

7 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Yes

i almost wasnt though.

in the past hour

i was near knives.

i felt myself forgetting that i was supposed to be not doing it

when i held the knife the instict was to cut

i didn't though

i'm so hungry..

i ate normal today though

im jut hungry..

Congratulations! Do that again.

you did it your entire life up until this point

you’ve got this and I believe in you. 

[Shatter He/Him]

1 minute ago, Verdance said:

Congratulations! Do that again.

you did it your entire life up until this point

you’ve got this and I believe in you. 

you. hydrate too.

[Usseewa]

Just now, Verdance said:

Congratulations! Do that again.

you did it your entire life up until this point

you’ve got this and I believe in you. 

its also just that there's other stuff that's i think is a major contributor to my depression and stuff..

[Akimikoisthecutest]

Just now, Usseewa said:

its also just that there's other stuff that's i think is a major contributor to my depression and stuff..

Oh. That sucks. So I take it you relapsed again?

[Usseewa]

i just wanna escape

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Shatter said:

you. hydrate too.

???

dude im good

Just now, Usseewa said:

i just wanna escape

From what?

[Usseewa]

Just now, Akimikoisthecutest said:

Oh. That sucks. So I take it you relapsed again?

idk how much youve been folowing 

 

i didnt relapse self-harm cuz i only started like.. 2 weeks ago give or take. depends how you count it.

 

if u mean depression... i've been depressed for a while

1 minute ago, Verdance said:

From what?

From my current life

[Akimikoisthecutest]

Just now, Usseewa said:

i didnt relapse self-harm cuz i only started like.. 2 weeks ago give or take. depends how you count it.

Oh, I guess that makes sense. Yeah relapsing is bad. I've only relapsed twice I think

[Adonalsium Will Return He/him]

@Usseewa, I honestly can't give advice, but I will let you know that we all care about you. A lot. If you want to, idk, mail one of us your implements so nobody in your life knows (although you should tell people), I think we would all support you.

[Usseewa]

33 minutes ago, Adonalsium Will Return said:

@Usseewa, I honestly can't give advice, but I will let you know that we all care about you. A lot. If you want to, idk, mail one of us your implements so nobody in your life knows (although you should tell people), I think we would all support you.

thanks for the sentiment

i wont do that cuz then they'd know my address and i'd know theirs.

but yeah..

 

god i just wanna stormin

get the hell

out of here

 

storm me

 

i honestly don't see a point anymore to doing anything good for me or to not just cut myself right now.

Edited May 12 by Usseewa

[Shatter He/Him]

48 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

thanks for the sentiment

i wont do that cuz then they'd know my address and i'd know theirs.

but yeah..

 

god i just wanna stormin

get the hell

out of here

 

storm me

 

i honestly don't see a point anymore to doing anything good for me or to not just cut myself right now.

You will be warm again. Your fortunes will change. This I can promise you. Until then, try to take care of yourself.

*hugs*

Edited May 12 by Shatter

[Usseewa]

1 hour ago, Shatter said:

You will be warm again. Your fortunes will change. This I can promise you. Until then, try to take care of yourself.

*hugs*

i ended up talkin to a hotline and then doing a finals study session

now I'm eatin ice cream and i feel better

[Verdance he/him]

2 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

i ended up talkin to a hotline and then doing a finals study session

now I'm eatin ice cream and i feel better

Mmm

shoot i need ice cream now

[Usseewa]

8 minutes ago, Verdance said:

Mmm

shoot i need ice cream now

unfortunately I can't fully enjoy it whilst shivering  

[Shatter He/Him]

14 minutes ago, Verdance said:

Mmm

shoot i need ice cream now

I have none in the house. Mostly because I ate it all last time I was depressed.