+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him Posted January 27, 2021 Posted January 27, 2021 12 minutes ago, Lecky Twig said: I wish for the clock on my wall to not tick so loudly, but still be functional. Granted! Never has a clock worked so well with so little apparent noise. Your bane is that your clock tolls out the hours with the distinctive sound of a Main Coone cat mewling. Spoiler I wish my Maine Coone cat meowed less for temptations. 1
Darth Woodrack he/him Posted January 27, 2021 Posted January 27, 2021 2 hours ago, Hoiditthroughthegrapevine said: I wish my Maine Coone cat meowed less for temptations. Granted. The Nightwatcher decides that the easiest way to accomplish your wish is to kill your cat. Your bane is that you must spend the rest of your life serving penance for your horribly worded wish. I wish for the immortality of cats. All cats. Even the ones that eat us. Hail our feline overlords.
The One Ring she/her Posted January 27, 2021 Posted January 27, 2021 7 minutes ago, Darth Woodrack said: I wish for the immortality of cats. All cats. Even the ones that eat us. Hail our feline overlords. the army of cats took over the world and they dislike company. So everyone besides their own kind is killed. I wish for more time
Darth Woodrack he/him Posted January 27, 2021 Posted January 27, 2021 3 minutes ago, The One Ring said: I wish for more time Granted. Your life has been extended by 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% of a milisecond. Your name is that your eyes now permanently move in opposition to each other. Basically, when you look up with one eye the other looks down, when you look right the other looks left, etc. On the bright side it is now really easy to cross your eyes. I wish for happiness.
Lecky Twig she/her Posted January 27, 2021 Posted January 27, 2021 2 minutes ago, Darth Woodrack said: I wish for happiness Granted. Your bane is minimal because everyone deserves happiness, you must smile for at least 2mins a day otherwise you will be slapped. I wish for a doughnut. 1
Voidspawn he/him Posted January 27, 2021 Posted January 27, 2021 8 hours ago, Darth Woodrack said: name *bane 8 hours ago, Lecky Twig said: Granted. Your bane is minimal because everyone deserves happiness, you must smile for at least 2mins a day otherwise you will be slapped. I wish for a doughnut. Granted; your donut is deathly poisoned, with no known cure. I wish for COVID-19 to end.
The Technovore he/him Posted January 27, 2021 Posted January 27, 2021 (edited) @Hoiditthroughthegrapevine Edited January 27, 2021 by The Technovore Help I can't type the rest of my post the box is broken also Hoid I mentioned you because I wanted to say that "these kinds of high-effort posts are ones this Shard deserves" 1
The One Ring she/her Posted January 28, 2021 Posted January 28, 2021 7 hours ago, Voidspawn said: I wish for COVID-19 to end. a worse disease now spread I wish for a good day
The Technovore he/him Posted January 28, 2021 Posted January 28, 2021 (edited) Granted. On the 29th day of the 5th month of the 60th year of your life, you will receive one absolutely, wonderfully perfect day. You will be surrounded by loved ones, do amazing things, and cherish the memories made forever. Your bane is that you will receive severe gout the next day. I wish for to have the smarts without the doing of study. Edited January 28, 2021 by The Technovore
+Doomstick he/him Posted January 28, 2021 Posted January 28, 2021 2 hours ago, The One Ring said: a worse disease now spread NOOOOOOOOO NOT A CREAM CHEESE DISEASE
Voidspawn he/him Posted January 28, 2021 Posted January 28, 2021 3 hours ago, The Technovore said: I wish for to have the smarts without the doing of study. Granted. You can breathe without studying how. Your bane is you have to consciously tell your heart to beat, and you don't know how. I wish for math books to stop having arithmetic problems. 1
+Doomstick he/him Posted January 28, 2021 Posted January 28, 2021 granted! math now has Rithmatic problems and you are no Rithmatist! I wish for tLPW to stop spamming and let tLT win forever.
+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him Posted January 28, 2021 Posted January 28, 2021 5 hours ago, The Technovore said: I wish for to have the smarts without the doing of study. Grantd! Duh rest ov duh wirld got reel stupid, sew u r duh smartest 1 n duh wirld. I wish 4 a shinee thing-a-ma-jig
+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him Posted January 28, 2021 Posted January 28, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, AonDii said: I wish for tLPW to stop spamming and let tLT win forever. Doh, hadn't refreshed the page...the Nightwatcher will now attend to your wish The Nightwatcher turns to you and says, "I'm sorry, but I cannot grant your boon. You see, if you let someone or something win then they haven't really won at all. And secondly forever is a scope outside my control. Although I am a sliver of a god, even my span is vanishingly small when compared to the unbroken infinitude of forever." "The best I can grant you is a mental feedback loop that alters your precept system so that you believe that the TLT is always winning against TLPW. This delusional construct will persist in subjective terms for you 'forever'" "Since that's admittedly a cop out, I'll also grant you the power to pop popcorn with just the heat from your palms and I'll throw in a glamor that you can trigger on demand that makes your eyes look extra sparkly." "And, let's see, for your bsne... Um if someone taps you on the back unexpectedly then you forget who you are and get temporary amnesia for 5 minutes, but your eye sparkle glamor is also triggered so people generally take care of you like you are an exceptionally cute stray puppy." I wish for something that I can fit in a backpack and that is tremendous. Edited January 28, 2021 by Hoiditthroughthegrapevine
+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him Posted January 28, 2021 Posted January 28, 2021 3 hours ago, AonDii said: pfft! I refuse! Spoken like someone suffering from a ...delusion perhaps? I kid, I kid. All in good fun, all in good fun. These, after all are mere words, If the Nightwatcher were real I;m sure she would be a successful hedge fund manager, basking in the Mediterranean sun on the deck of her 30 ft catamaran at anchor off the cost of Ibiza.
The Technovore he/him Posted January 28, 2021 Posted January 28, 2021 Granted, you are given one(1) copy of "Biff and Tim's Tremendous Excursion". It is clearly a movie from an another reality, and is actually pretty good. You are then handed a small book full of Diagram-esque predictions. They contain instructions on how to slowly build rumors for a secret and rare bootleg "Bill and Ted" that is better than the original, before selling it to collectors for an obscene amount of money. However, your bane is that you can never tie a knot again. I wish for this dang headache to go away. 1
Shard of Reading he/him Posted January 28, 2021 Posted January 28, 2021 Granted. Your back is now sore. I wish for 2+2 to really equal pickle.
Jaywalk he/him Posted January 28, 2021 Posted January 28, 2021 3 hours ago, Shard of Reading said: Granted. Your back is now sore. I wish for 2+2 to really equal pickle. The Nightwatcher stares at you for a moment, then breaks into tears. "To do such a thing would mean the end of everything," she sobs. But with a snap of her fingers, your wish is granted anyway. 1
Shard of Reading he/him Posted January 28, 2021 Posted January 28, 2021 (edited) 1 minute ago, Jaywalk said: The Nightwatcher stares at you for a moment, then breaks into tears. "To do such a thing would mean the end of everything," she sobs. But with a snap of her fingers, your wish is granted anyway. That's fun. What's your wish? Edited January 28, 2021 by Shard of Reading
Jaywalk he/him Posted January 28, 2021 Posted January 28, 2021 1 hour ago, Shard of Reading said: That's fun. What's your wish? I wish for vast wealth and wisdom.
The Technovore he/him Posted January 28, 2021 Posted January 28, 2021 (edited) Granted. The internet forever despises you because their hive-mind peanut-brains cannot comprehend your wisdom, but you have the money to be able to shrug off their hatred of you. You begin developing a plan to escape this tiny ape-infested world and cultivate a new, highly-intelligent society on mars. First, you just need to terraform it... Perhaps by selling electric cars you can fund your expedition? Your bane is that despite your overwhelming genius you will periodically feel an overwhelming urge to taunt the masses by posting inane opinions on the internet, further riling them up. Before your mission is complete you must walk the tightrope of wisdom and folly, lest the masses rise up and destroy you. I wish for Sanderson to have long years, free of disease and disability, that he might successfully complete the Cosmere. Edited January 28, 2021 by The Technovore 1
forget me not she/her Posted January 29, 2021 Posted January 29, 2021 53 minutes ago, The Technovore said: I wish for Sanderson to have long years, free of disease and disability, that he might successfully complete the Cosmere. Granted, you won't live to see this. I wish for the ability to teleport anywhere in the world.
The One Ring she/her Posted January 29, 2021 Posted January 29, 2021 Hello, welcome to the Shard! Your bane is that every time you use your ability, you'll find yourself in a random time of history. I wish for a friend
The Technovore he/him Posted January 29, 2021 Posted January 29, 2021 Granted. Says the new voice inside your head. It laughs cheerily. It laughs for an unnervingly long time. Your bane is... well... you'll find that out soon. I wish for a million wishes.
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