Gizmosowner Posted April 20, 2017 Report Share Posted April 20, 2017 I want the cuddles.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Radiant_Jaeger Posted April 24, 2017 Report Share Posted April 24, 2017 @Gizmosowner You receive a cuddly pet fox But its stuffed. Forgive me I wish for a Nahel Bond with a Cultivationspren 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krandacth Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 8 hours ago, Radiant_Jaeger said: @Gizmosowner You receive a cuddly pet fox But its stuffed. Forgive me I wish for a Nahel Bond with a Cultivationspren Granted. You form a Bond with Glys, but as he is already bonded to Renarin in a different Physical Realm, he never comes looking for you or interacts with you in any way. On the other hand, you get the dubious boon of incredibly terrifying and tantalisingly-unspecific visions about the future of the Stormlight Archive. Now, you asked for a two-part boon, which is cheeky, but the Nightwatcher decides to let it slide. At the same time that your Bond forms, a stray Cultivationspren that shifted to the wrong Physical Realm arrives and starts hanging around you. You can see it thanks to your Bond with Glys and the Cultivationspren itself being unbonded. However, being unbonded, the Cultivationspren is not sapient, instead becoming little more than your pet ball-of-superfast-growing-vines. Your bane is the constant scent of overripe blue cheese from behind a nearby obstruction (door, tree, etc), but never the one you look behind. I wish for nothing, I can get by. But I know so many less lucky than I. Please help the outcasts, the poor and downtrod. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Radiant_Jaeger Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 @Krandacth As it was you who granted my wish I shall not exact vengeance by saying wish granted, but you are now in a coma, enjoy nothingness. That would be totally uncool. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 8 hours ago, Krandacth said: Granted. You form a Bond with Glys, but as he is already bonded to Renarin in a different Physical Realm, he never comes looking for you or interacts with you in any way. On the other hand, you get the dubious boon of incredibly terrifying and tantalisingly-unspecific visions about the future of the Stormlight Archive. Now, you asked for a two-part boon, which is cheeky, but the Nightwatcher decides to let it slide. At the same time that your Bond forms, a stray Cultivationspren that shifted to the wrong Physical Realm arrives and starts hanging around you. You can see it thanks to your Bond with Glys and the Cultivationspren itself being unbonded. However, being unbonded, the Cultivationspren is not sapient, instead becoming little more than your pet ball-of-superfast-growing-vines. Your bane is the constant scent of overripe blue cheese from behind a nearby obstruction (door, tree, etc), but never the one you look behind. I wish for nothing, I can get by. But I know so many less lucky than I. Please help the outcasts, the poor and downtrod. Glys isn't cultivationspren I don't think... Wyndle is. Cultivationspren make edgedancers, not truthwatchers... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krandacth Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 (edited) 34 minutes ago, Drake Marshall said: Glys isn't cultivationspren I don't think... Wyndle is. Cultivationspren make edgedancers, not truthwatchers... Indeed. They asked for a Nahel Bond. They also asked for a Cultivationspren with it. ... Edited April 25, 2017 by Krandacth 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Podman Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 On 4/25/2017 at 0:04 AM, Radiant_Jaeger said: @Krandacth As it was you who granted my wish I shall not exact vengeance by saying wish granted, but you are now in a coma, enjoy nothingness. That would be totally uncool. You forgot to ask for a wish, Krandacth, so I shall give you two boons! Mwahaahaahaaaa! First, from now on whenever you move you have to name the muscle as you move it, sort of like QWOP. If you say the wrong muscle, the muscle you said will move instead. Second, it is impossible for you to memorize any of the muscle names and how they work, so you have to carry around a giant pocketbook full of complex lists and diagrams of the human anatomy! I wish that 50% of all inanimate objects turn become alive in creative ways, and that each new species has ways of reproducing! And that 10% of the remaining 50% come alive into snakes with feet and hands with opposable thumbs that become the dominant species on the Earth! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brightness Enna Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 The Nightwatcher is confused. She doesn't know what Earth is, much less snakes. So you get enlarged cremlings with hands that take over only your house instead. Your furniture becomes their servants and you are forced to move. The Nightwatcher thinks that's appropriate, seeing as how you confused her with your incomprehensible vernacular. As your bane, you receive limits on your knowledge: you can only learn 8,000 things about any one subject. I wish to never have to use a school-issued yoga mat ever again. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farnsworth Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 Granted. Instead you use the one in my dad's office. I wish for Oathbringer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 Granted. The sword, not the book. You are now Torol Sadeas, and Dalinar gives you Oathbringer in exchange for freeing the bridgemen... Seeing as you know how Words of Radiance ends, enjoy being Sadeas... I wish that Jezrien would stop drooling. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowLord_Lith Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 Granted, you drool instead. I wish for discord(MLP) and bill cipher(no introduction required) meet up and fight odium together, leaving the Cosmere for time and all eternity afterwards. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steeldancer Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 2 hours ago, ShadowLord_Lith said: Granted, you drool instead. I wish for discord(MLP) and bill cipher(no introduction required) meet up and fight odium together, leaving the Cosmere for time and all eternity afterwards. Granted. But odium isn't dead. And he kills them. And they go to the beyond. Also, you die in the crossfire. Sorry. I wish to live on roshar and be a dustbringer 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
18th Shard Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 You live under the middle ocean in a cave grotto on Roshar, and are a dustbringer who has sworn only the first oath. You have no stormlight or food, and limited air which over time is poisonous (Oxygen under high pressure is poisonous). Unfortunately, the water pressure outside of the grotto will kill you if you try to leave anywhere. I wish to be able to grant myself boons and banes without intervention from others. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 Granted. You're judgement is now seriously impaired. The boons and banes you grant yourself are... Quite unpleasant. And nobody can intervene to help you, as per your own wish. So you destroy yourself. In theory, you could grant yourself better judgement, but since you're judgement is so bad, you immediately dismiss the idea. Power is only a good thing if it is in good hands... I wish for a dime. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkrunner Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 Granted, the dime is stuck in your throat, blocking your windpipe. Enjoy! I wish for the power to fly, immediately granted and active until I die. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormseeker Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 Granted; however, you find that you have no control over the speed you fly at. Good luck. I wish for the ability to disappear from existence at will. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkrunner Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 Granted. You cannot reappear. I wish for the ability to see the future posts of everyone in this thread, or in PM's relating to this thread. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zennix Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 39 minutes ago, Cluny the Scourge said: Granted, the dime is stuck in. your throat, blocking your windpipe. Enjoy! I wish for the power to fly, immediately granted and active until I die. Granted. But you don't have any control over your flight, so you fly into the sun. Fortunately for you, you die immediately you leave the earth's atmosphere, so only your corpse reaches the sun and serves as fuel for the sun's nuclear fusion reactions. Since the sun provides the energy that plants use for photosynthesis, this is technically a boon for you. Yay! You get two boons from the Nightwatcher, cheater! I wish to have the next poster as my personal punching bag for a year. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkrunner Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 Granted. Year 2534. I wish to a become a character in one of Brandon's works. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zennix Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 Granted. You become Clod, the Lifeless in Warbreaker. I wish you a very long life as a Cosmere zombie. I wish to own an Inquisinator (a Terminator Steel Inquisitor). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steeldancer Posted April 28, 2017 Report Share Posted April 28, 2017 6 hours ago, Stormseeker said: Granted; however, you find that you have no control over the speed you fly at. Good luck. I wish for the ability to disappear from existence at will. Welcome to the shard 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Podman Posted May 2, 2017 Report Share Posted May 2, 2017 (edited) On 4/28/2017 at 10:38 AM, Zennix said: Granted. You become Clod, the Lifeless in Warbreaker. I wish you a very long life as a Cosmere zombie. I wish to own an Inquisinator (a Terminator Steel Inquisitor). Granted. You own an Inquisinator. It doesn't kill you or anything, because it is broken. A lifeless shell. Basically an oversized toy that parts of it will rot away, leaving heaps of metal scraps. If it does somehow turn on it will, of course, murder you instantly. Your bane is that you have an overpowering, unresistable desire to fix it and turn it on, and that you have been granted the resources to do so. I wish for infinite snow cones. Edited May 2, 2017 by podman36 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brightness Enna Posted May 22, 2017 Report Share Posted May 22, 2017 By the power invested in me, I RAISE THEE a snow cone army that can never die, no matter how many times you eat them! Oh, and by the way, anything you write comes out in sloppily written Mandarin. I really wish I had less skill in that fine, time-tested art of procrastination. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zennix Posted May 22, 2017 Report Share Posted May 22, 2017 Granted. You always decide to complete every task on time. Bane: You gain the Smedry Talent to always be late to everything. I wish to live on Roshar. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDoomsday Posted May 22, 2017 Report Share Posted May 22, 2017 You will live on Roshar, but you will be unable to interact with anything there. I wish for Oathbringer to come out tomorrow. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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