Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

1 minute ago, Zennix said:

The results of any calculations you carry out using your awakened abacus is added to your age. Therefore, the more you use it, the older you get.

Who says I can't calculate negative values sometimes?

[Brightness Enna she/her]

10 minutes ago, Drake Marshall said:

Who says I can't calculate negative values sometimes?

You are the one who determines the problems... IMMORTALITY! two boons in one! mwahahahahahhhh

14 minutes ago, Zennix said:

Granted. 

The results of any calculations you carry out using your awakened abacus is added to your age. Therefore, the more you use it, the older you get. 

I wish for double steel compounding. 

Granted. You can burn steel for Allomantic and Feruchemical effects. Cool.

You lose the ability to read. You can relearn but you will never be as good as you were ever again. evil laughter

I wish to never get sore ever again.

[Zennix he/him]

15 minutes ago, Drake Marshall said:

Who says I can''t calculate negative values sometimes?

Haha! Did you just try to outsmart the Nightwatcher? For that you will get a bonus bane.  You keep growing older and older but you can't die. You finally become Hoed but nobody can find a Shardpool to disintegrate you. 

This is why no one messes with the Nightwatcher. 

[Steeldancer he/him]

10 hours ago, Brightness Enna said:

You are the one who determines the problems... IMMORTALITY! two boons in one! mwahahahahahhhh

Granted. You can burn steel for Allomantic and Feruchemical effects. Cool.

You lose the ability to read. You can relearn but you will never be as good as you were ever again. evil laughter

I wish to never get sore ever again.

Granted. However, you shall not be able to feel any pain...or pleasure. You now live a monotone existence.

I wish to become steeldancer (edgedancer with steel compounding abilities)

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. The nightwatcher takes away all your coordination. It is now challenging to move around at a normal speed without falling or hurting yourself. Using your abilities would prove... Dangerous.

I wish to replace the nightwatcher.

[Mr. Staccato he/him]

17 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

I wish to replace the nightwatcher.

And so she gets replaced - however since you named no replacement, the nightwatcher is instead succeeded by the Joker.

And so we all die horrible deaths. @Drake Marshall you choke on a sandwich of Rock's own design. I drown in Shadesmar. And the next poster, whoever he or she is, gets mistaken by Kaladin as Amaram and dies accordingly.

I wish for guidance. 

[Zennix he/him]

13 minutes ago, Mr. Staccato said:

And so she gets replaced - however since you named no replacement, the nightwatcher is instead succeeded by the Joker.

And so we all die horrible deaths. @Drake Marshall you choke on a sandwich of Rock's own design. I drown in Shadesmar. And the next poster, whoever he or she is, gets mistaken by Kaladin as Amaram and dies accordingly.

I wish for guidance. 

You are guided to the River Lethe in the underworld where your memory gets wiped off permanently, including your memories of Brandon Sanderson's books. 

I wish to become a Returned with unlimited Breaths. 

[Kplynch21 he/him]

8 hours ago, Zennix said:

You are guided to the River Lethe in the underworld where your memory gets wiped off permanently, including your memories of Brandon Sanderson's books. 

I wish to become a Returned with unlimited Breaths. 

 

You die from Kaladin as he tortures you in Braize until you grant him all your breaths.

 

I want to take up the power of Odium.

[Zennix he/him]

2 minutes ago, Kplynch21 said:

You die from Kaladin as he tortures you in Braize until you grant him . all your breaths.

 

I want to take up the power of Odium.

Granted. But you are so consumed by hatred of your existence that you commit suicide by splintering yourself. 

I wish for a pet Chasmfiend. 

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

12 hours ago, Mr. Staccato said:

And so she gets replaced - however since you named no replacement, the nightwatcher is instead succeeded by the Joker.

And so we all die horrible deaths. @Drake Marshall you choke on a sandwich of Rock's own design. I drown in Shadesmar. And the next poster, whoever he or she is, gets mistaken by Kaladin as Amaram and dies accordingly.

I wish for guidance. 

Well that went dark... why so serious?

[Mr. Staccato he/him]

1 hour ago, Drake Marshall said:

Well that went dark... why so serious?

I was dropped into a vat of chemicals and arose with a glasglow smile and a tangle of seriously unfashionable sea-weed green hair.

 

4 hours ago, Zennix said:

Granted. But you are so consumed by hatred of your existence that you commit suicide by splintering yourself. 

I wish for a pet Chasmfiend. 

Spoiler

Keep in a fish-tank please, thank you.

Voila.

I wish Oathbringer would feature Brandon's first cross-over couple.

Edited April 2, 2017 by Mr. Staccato

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

1 minute ago, Mr. Staccato said:

I was dropped into a vat of chemicals and arose with a glasglow smile and a tangle of seriously unfashionable sea-weed green hair.

Is that the story... Sometimes I remember differently. If I'm going to have a past, I'd prefer it be multiple choice!

But anyway, my point is, that must have made for something of a bad day...

[Zennix he/him]

Granted. The crossover couple is Kar (Inquisitor) and Eshonai (Parshendi). Their relationship encourages Odium and Ruin to form an alliance which leads to the complete destruction of the Cosmere. 

I wish to date Shallash. 

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. The relationship ends suddenly when you try to take a picture with her, and Shalash attacks you to prevent her likeness being captured. In the end she drives you raving insane with her lightweaving. I believe what doesn't kill you makes you... Stranger.

I'm sorry. I had to keep up the references, especially since the nightwatcher is still technically replaced and so the bane reflects it...

I wish for something that is worth the costs.

[Kplynch21 he/him]

8 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

Granted. The relationship ends suddenly when you try to take a picture with her, and Shalash attacks you to prevent her likeness being captured. In the end she drives you raving insane with her lightweaving. I believe what doesn't kill you makes you... Stranger.

I'm sorry. I had to keep up the references, especially since the nightwatcher is still technically replaced and so the bane reflects it...

I wish for something that is worth the costs.

 

Granted. You get a copy of Oathbringer (worth the money), in return you become blind and can't read it, and no audiobook comes out because the book is too long.

[ShadowLord_Lith he/him]

With no wish, the joker cackles in glee and shreds your soul into non-existence, leaving your cognitive and physical aspects intact. You body and mind slowly wither and decay, though they remain alive. As there is nothing keeping you alive, yet nothing that can truly die, you live a half-life as a physical ghost; unable to die, yet unable to truly live.

 

I wish for the nightwatcher to be returned to her rightful position. 

 

Goodbye joker.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. The Joker agrees to leave Roshar and resume terrorizing earth. However, as he is still the one granting your wish, he gets revenge on you for banishing him from the nightwatcher's position. He creates a steel inquisitor in his own likeness (joker's face, but with spikes), and sicks it on you. It has full compounding abilities.

I wish for 1,000 biochromatic breaths.

[Zennix he/him]

3 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

Granted. The Joker agrees to leave Roshar and resume terrorizing earth. However, as he is still the one granting your wish, he gets revenge on you for banishing him from the nightwatcher's position. He creates a steel inquisitor in his own likeness (joker's face, but with spikes), and sicks it on you. It has full compounding abilities.

I wish for 1,000 biochromatic breaths.

You get Nighblood who is the equivalent of 1000 Breaths. Being ignorant of its power, you unsheathe it, but since you don't have Investiture, you die. 

I wish to lead a chasmfiend Orchestra. 

[kenod]

24 minutes ago, Zennix said:

You get Nighblood who is the equivalent of 1000 Breaths. Being ignorant of its power, you unsheathe it, but since you don't have Investiture, you die. 

I wish to lead a chasmfiend Orchestra. 

(Emphasis mine) Nightblood kills you by feeding of Investure, so it shouldn't do anything.
Anyway, you get to lead the chasmfiend Orchestra. Sadly enough, Elhokar stumbles upon you while leading the great chasmfiend hunt. He does like the music however.

I wish for a tame fox as my pet.

[Gizmosowner he/him]

Granted however at midnight each night yourfox gains the intent of Odium for one minute.

I wish for a random beneficial thing to occur

[Zennix he/him]

Granted. 

You get one day of practical philosophy lessons from Jasnah. Unfortunately, midway through the lessons, you are attacked by Ghostblood assassins who murder after Jasnah elsecalls herself out of there leaving you behind. 

I wish for a taste of the Horneater lager. 

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

5 hours ago, Zennix said:

Granted. 

You get one day of practical philosophy lessons from Jasnah. Unfortunately, midway through the lessons, you are attacked by Ghostblood assassins who murder after Jasnah elsecalls herself out of there leaving you behind. 

I wish for a taste of the Horneater lager. 

Granted. You taste the Horneater lager, but instead of melting right through your insides as it would normally burn through things, the lager becomes trapped within your stomach, leaving you to feel of your insides burning and melting for the rest of your life without being able to do anything about it.

I wish for the stick to become fire.

[Steeldancer he/him]

Congratulations. The stick has become fire. But the amount of investiture required sucks your ambient investiture... And you die. And I wish to find beauty in everything 

[I Am Witless she/her]

Granted.

Everything that is considered ugly in this world congregates around you because it needs self-worth. Mud congregates around your shoes, vultures circle overhead, and Sadeas tries to become your best friend.

I wish to have a tutoring session with Jasnah so that I can get a better grade in English 101.

[Zennix he/him]

Granted. But you don't live long enough to the exam because you are murdered by Ghostblood assassins who mistook you for Jasnah. 

I wish to spank Cultivation. (Sorry guys. I just couldn't stop myself from posting that)