Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

3 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I wish that someone would grant @Drake Marshall's wish:

I did some initial internet research to try and figure out what this was referring to, but I could tell that I was seeing shallowly and dimly into an arcane sub-world and that I lack the requisite esoteric knowledge to come up with a suitable bane/boon for this one...

Terribly sorry. Perhaps I should not have made it so difficult.

To clarify, that is a reference to Nethack, a positively ancient, text-based, DnD style game notorious for being rather complicated and killing players many, many, many times over.

The sort-of joke here is that in vanilla nethack, "blessed greased fixed +2 grey dragon scale mail" is an extremely common first wish.

Edited February 18, 2018 by Drake Marshall

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

4 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

Terribly sorry. Perhaps I should not have made it so difficult.

To clarify, that is a reference to Nethack, a positively ancient, text-based, DnD style game notorious for being rather complicated and killing players many, many, many times over.

The sort-of joke here is that in vanilla nethack, "blessed greased fixed +2 grey dragon scale mail" is an extremely common first wish

That's funny, NetHack was the game I thought  you were probably referring to, but the daunting number of forks and other RogueLike games made me think that as an internet dilettante I was out of my depths. But using my cursory and newly acquired knowledge of Nethack, I feel somewhat confident that I can indeed bestow upon you a boon and bane.

So to do this up right:

On 2/16/2018 at 9:54 AM, Drake Marshall said:

Warning: Reference inbound: I wish for blessed greased fixed +2 grey dragon scale mail 

Granted, you now have blessed greased fixed +2 grey dragon scale mail in your inventory, but unfortunately you use an unidentified scroll named "DAIYEN FOOELS" and it asks for an item to apply it to, and you select your recently acquired awesome armor. 

Then you get the following message "Your blessed greased fixed +2 grey dragon scale mail glows for a moment."  and it loses one of it's enchantments and is cursed. Also, your computer that had all of your NetHack saved games on it explodes. Youch.

I wish that the Empire, instead of cloning Jango Fett, would have cloned Frank Zappa instead for their clone army. Holy crap, I would be on the side of the Empire if we had 3+ million frank zappas. The universe would indeed be a strange place.

 

 

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

On 2/18/2018 at 8:26 PM, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Granted, you now have blessed greased fixed +2 grey dragon scale mail in your inventory, but unfortunately you use an unidentified scroll named "DAIYEN FOOELS" and it asks for an item to apply it to, and you select your recently acquired awesome armor. 

Then you get the following message "Your blessed greased fixed +2 grey dragon scale mail glows for a moment."  and it loses one of it's enchantments and is cursed. Also, your computer that had all of your NetHack saved games on it explodes. Youch.

I'll take it. Very well done.  All things considered, you let me off the hook. At least the scroll that backfired in my face wasn't a scroll of genocide.

On 2/18/2018 at 8:26 PM, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I wish that the Empire, instead of cloning Jango Fett, would have cloned Frank Zappa instead for their clone army. Holy crap, I would be on the side of the Empire if we had 3+ million frank zappas. The universe would indeed be a strange place.

Granted. The Empire has an army of Frank Zappa clones instead of Jango Fett clones.

Unfortunately, you may not join the Empire like you stated you would wish to do. Your bane is that you are a sworn enemy of the Empire, and they will never let you join them. The 3+ million Zappaclones are all bent on destroying you.

While you are probably going to end up killed by the Empire, at least you will have an extremely interesting story to tell in the afterlife.

 

I wish for a well filled zincmind with no identity signature.

[Draginon he/him]

18 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

I'll take it. Very well done.  All things considered, you let me off the hook. At least the scroll that backfired in my face wasn't a scroll of genocide.

Granted. The Empire has an army of Frank Zappa clones instead of Jango Fett clones.

Unfortunately, you may not join the Empire like you stated you would wish to do. Your bane is that you are a sworn enemy of the Empire, and they will never let you join them. The 3+ million Zappaclones are all bent on destroying you.

While you are probably going to end up killed by the Empire, at least you will have an extremely interesting story to tell in the afterlife.

 

I wish for a well filled zincmind with no identity signature.

Granted, but you will never be able to use the zincmind since you'll be deathly allergic to zinc

I wish to be able to read faster

[digitalbusker he/him]

9 hours ago, Draginon said:

Granted, but you will never be able to use the zincmind since you'll be deathly allergic to zinc

I wish to be able to read faster

You can read very quickly indeed, but you forget anything you read after an hour or so.

I wish to wake fully refreshed after a single hour of sleep.

Edited February 22, 2018 by digitalbusker
Forgot my boon!

[Draginon he/him]

1 hour ago, digitalbusker said:

You can read very quickly indeed, but you forget anything you read after an hour or so.

I wish to wake fully refreshed after a single hour of sleep.

You will be refreshed upon waking but shall feel drained within five minutes

 

I wish to be able to visit any fictional world I want

[agigabyte]

Granted, but you are always as low on the metaphorical totem pole as one can be, stuck as the least important, influential, sapient being in that world. 

I wish to never suffer any effects that, by my standards, qualify as negative, from any wish that I make on this page or as part of any game like this. (This is a redux of one from the very first page, hopefully rephrased well enough to avoid bad stuff. 

[Lord Mistborn Bondbreaker he/him]

2 hours ago, agigabyte said:

Granted, but you are always as low on the metaphorical totem pole as one can be, stuck as the least important, influential, sapient being in that world. 

I wish to never suffer any effects that, by my standards, qualify as negative, from any wish that I make on this page or as part of any game like this. (This is a redux of one from the very first page, hopefully rephrased well enough to avoid bad stuff. 

Granted, however you don’t gain anything so what’s the point.

I want the Lopen to become the lord ruler.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

7 hours ago, Lord Mistborn Skybreaker said:

Granted, however you don’t gain anything so what’s the point.

I want the Lopen to become the lord ruler.

Granted Gancho. The only negative repercussion of this wish is that everyone has to tell him what a splendid guy he is. Everyday.

Nicely done, the Nightwatcher is impressed, she had been trying to give the Lopen unlimited powers so the world would be a better place but the strictures of the old magic had heretofore prevented her from doing so. But because this was your wish, to achieve balance in the universe you are also given a very painful boil on your backside that makes it impossible for you to sit through the 3 hour speeches that the Lopen gives in celebration of his magnificence and magnanimity daily to an adoring crowd. From the standing room only section you still can and do applaud.

I wish that mercury was non-toxic. It's such a cool freaking metal that it would be nice to be able to check out its properties first hand without fear of death or brain damage.

[agigabyte]

Granted, but you permanently lose the ability to perceive mercury in any form, with any senses (be the ones that a human normally has or ones that are artificially induced), including in pictures, on computer readings, or anything else that could be used as a loophole. This still applies if you somehow change bodies, or you attempt to perceive it through the cognitive or spiritual realms as well.

I wish for the ability to be a perfect minmaxer in all RPGs.

[agigabyte]

13 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Granted Gancho. The only negative repercussion of this wish is that everyone has to tell him what a splendid guy he is. Everyday.

Nicely done, the Nightwatcher is impressed, she had been trying to give the Lopen unlimited powers so the world would be a better place but the strictures of the old magic had heretofore prevented her from doing so. But because this was your wish, to achieve balance in the universe you are also given a very painful boil on your backside that makes it impossible for you to sit through the 3 hour speeches that the Lopen gives in celebration of his magnificence and magnanimity daily to an adoring crowd. From the standing room only section you still can and do applaud.

I wish that mercury was non-toxic. It's such a cool freaking metal that it would be nice to be able to check out its properties first hand without fear of death or brain damage.

Granted, but you permanently lose the ability to perceive mercury in any form, with any senses (be the ones that a human normally has or ones that are artificially induced), including in pictures, on computer readings, or anything else that could be used as a loophole. This still applies if you somehow change bodies, or you attempt to perceive it through the cognitive or spiritual realms as well.

I wish for the ability to be a perfect minmaxer in all RPGs.

(Please ignore the previous post; I forgot to quote the post to which I was responding).

[Complexityspren]

Granted, but you will derive no fun from RPGs

I wish for Shalash's honorblade

[Guest]

Indeed you are granted this. Unfortunately, you and everyone else were looking for it, and as soon as you find it and it's just everyone else who's looking for it, the everyone elses end up attacking you to get it. You are able to kill the first few hordes, but there are too many, and they are unwilling to compromise. They kill you and take the honorblade from you.

I wish for a turkey. A roasted turkey. And a friend to share it with.

[Mistspren she/her]

Fine. You get a turkey roasted until it was burnt to a crisp. Your friend realizes you gave him burnt turkey and leaves you forever.

I wish to be a Fullborn.

[Iron_Ape he/him]

Granted, however you can only get your usuable allomantic metals from expensive items bought from an antique shop. Any others you burn will just make you sick.

I wish for the greatest physical strength.

[+ElephantEarwax he/him]

Granted. But your body becomes so large it is hard to move. 

I wish for a friend who had read the entire cosmere.

[Nathrangking he/him]

3 hours ago, ElephantEarwax said:

Granted. But your body becomes so large it is hard to move. 

I wish for a friend who had read the entire cosmere.

Granted. You now have a friend who can read the whole word cosmere but not any other. 

I call upon the powers of the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon. I wish to be an expert in every known language.

[Narcoleptic Axolotl he/him]

On 3/3/2018 at 8:07 PM, Nathrangking said:

Granted. You now have a friend who can read the whole word cosmere but not any other. 

I call upon the powers of the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon. I wish to be an expert in every known language.

Sure. Just now you have a lisp so bad that no one can understand you.

 

For my boon, I ask to be turned into a Mistborn. (I'd ask to be a radiant, but none of those powers seem like they'd be useful in my everyday life. Also I don't have a way of getting stormlight.)

[Lanny he/him]

15 hours ago, Narcoleptic Axolotl said:

Sure. Just now you have a lisp so bad that no one can understand you.

 

For my boon, I ask to be turned into a Mistborn. (I'd ask to be a radiant, but none of those powers seem like they'd be useful in my everyday life. Also I don't have a way of getting stormlight.)

You are now a mistborn but you are cursed with vertigo.

 

For my boon I would ask to never be cursed.

[+ElephantEarwax he/him]

Granted. you will never be cursed. But for your bane you will never have any extremely good luck either.

I wish to bond an unmade, as a radiant spren.

[Apollyon he/him]

@ElephantEarwax Granted, but you don't receive any Radiant powers.

I wish to receive fully charged hemallurgic spikes at any time for my own use without having to kill anyone.

[Lanny he/him]

On 3/8/2018 at 6:48 AM, ElephantEarwax said:

Granted. you will never be cursed. But for your bane you will never have any extremely good luck either.

I wish to bond an unmade, as a radiant spren.

A bane is included as a curse. Asking the night watcher to not curse me would mean that it is a wash.

[Supreme King Z-arc he/him]

On 3/8/2018 at 9:18 PM, Apollyon said:

I wish to receive fully charged hemallurgic spikes at any time for my own use without having to kill anyone.

You didn't have to do the killing but the spikes are made from the people closest to you

I wish to have enough breaths for the tenth heightening 

[+ElephantEarwax he/him]

Granted. But you are blind, so finding color is a problem.

I call on the Nightwatcher to fill my boon. I wish for a Shardblade.

[Kidpen he/him]

6 hours ago, ElephantEarwax said:

Granted. But you are blind, so finding color is a problem.

I call on the Nightwatcher to fill my boon. I wish for a Shardblade.

Granted (a dead one), but you also get to bond a Windspren, meaning the shardblade screams in your head, and you don't get any radiant powers. Since you can't touch it, you can't unbond it to give it to someone else.

I wish I saw the whole world upside-down. This just sounds really cool to me.