Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. Your body is preserved in perfect condition in an aquarium of formaldehyde, and the aquarium is then placed next to the jar your brain is kept in. Congratulations, your body has been returned to you.

As your bane, you start experiencing phantom pains.

 

I wish for the capacity to manage my time well.

[Farnsworth]

Granted. You no longer spend any time on 17th shard.

I wish for the ability to code compiler language well.

[Brightness Enna she/her]

Granted.

You can no longer eat meat. You have no appetite for it and you simply cannot get it in your mouth or taste it.

I wish for less homework to do.

[Mr. Staccato he/him]

5 minutes ago, Brightness Enna said:

Granted.

You can no longer eat meat. You have no appetite for it and you simply cannot get it in your mouth or taste it.

I wish for less homework to do.

You have been abducted by the Beast and now live in his castle to serve as his Belle. Homework is sent from your school to you via carrier pigeon and the living, breathing furniture and cleaning implements answer your papers and do your math homework for you.

Voila! You now have less homework to do! (P.S. You might want to tell off the bottle of gin who insists on answering your math questions for you because he can't count for the love of crap. (Because he's drunk - no duh.))

Oh, and also, your toes have been Awakened and they have nightly dalliances with the teapot and her son when you're sleeping. (I'm high, thank you.)

I wish for the stupidest thing a man could possibly wish for.

[Zennix he/him]

2 hours ago, Mr. Staccato said:

You have been abducted by the Beast and now live in his castle to serve as his Belle. Homework is sent from your school to you via carrier pigeon and the living, breathing furniture and cleaning implements answer your papers and do your math homework for you.

Voila! You now have less homework to do! (P.S. You might want to tell off the bottle of gin who insists on answering your math questions for you because he can't count for the love of crap. (Because he's drunk - no duh.))

Oh, and also, your toes have been Awakened and they have nightly dalliances with the teapot and her son when you're sleeping. (I'm high, thank you.)

I wish for the stupidest thing a man could possibly wish for.

Granted. 

You have to go back every week to receive more boon of the same kind. 

I wish for the ability to spike Hoid and get all of his without any losses. 

[ShadowLord_Lith he/him]

Granted; you spike him and get all the consequences of being under the influence, feeling them just as strongly as he does; without any loss of sensation.

Your bane is that you fall through a perpendicularity and become stuck on braize. No investiture gained.

Congratulations on being the only creature in the Cosmere without innate investiture; though that also means that the time and space of the Cosmere affect you differently... I'll leave how to your imagination.

 

I wish for the ability to break the laws of reality and reason and create usable investiture of any kind inside of anyone I choose; without negative consequences directly related to it. 

(yes I know: investiture cannot be created or destroyed; I don't care!)

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

You request to break logic? The nightwatcher grins evilly.

 

Your wish is granted. You may not break the laws of reality and reason, nor may you create usable investiture of any kind inside of anyone you choose, and negative consequences abound if you attempt it.

As your bane, all birds can no longer stand your presence. Their responses to you vary from extreme agitation to outright aggression.

 

If that seems like an illogical way to grant your wish... Well, the laws of reason are being broken!

 

I wish for a cinnamon roll.

[Brightness Enna she/her]

Granted.

Your ears are now filled with the sounds of "it's a small world", never to be ceased. You can hear other things, barely.

I wish for a laser pointer that upgrades items its beam hits. 

[Gizmosowner he/him]

Granted however it can only be used once a year.

i wish for my brain to be transplanted back into my body

[The One Who Connects he/him]

6 hours ago, Gizmosowner said:

Granted however it can only be used once a year.

i wish for my brain to be transplanted back into my body

Granted. However, since your brain was removed earlier, your head isn't in good shape. But I've got a replacement: You should really look up Morbius from classic era Doctor Who.

I wish for motivation to draw.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. You are motivated to draw scenes that are extremely disturbing. Your drawings ruin some poor psychiatrist's day.

I wish for an hourglass.

[Zennix he/him]

10 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

Granted. You are motivated to draw scenes that are extremely disturbing. Your drawings ruin some poor psychiatrist's day.

I wish for an hourglass.

Granted. You are always one hour late. 

I wish for the power to transform The Stick. 

[Gizmosowner he/him]

22 minutes ago, Zennix said:

Granted. You are always one hour late. 

I wish for the power to transform The Stick. 

Granted, you have become god, however your bane is that your sheer power evaporates your power and mind so you become pure aimless investiture without the influence of any intent.

i wish for perfect knowledge of how investiture works as I am sure I have no idea.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. In regard to your previous bane, the nightwatcher informs you that investiture with no intent or consciousness directing it is literally impossible. If a large quantity of investiture became aimless, it would spontaneously develop sentience and direct itself. The best you can do to render investiture aimless is to set parts of it against itself, which I'm betting is what splintering a shard must entail of. I hope that helps with the wish Some of what I said is theorizing on my part.

Your bane is that the Oathbringer release date is delayed another 2 months.

I wish for a half-hour glass... I have no idea why.

[Erandeni he/him]

3 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

Granted. In regard to your previous bane, the nightwatcher informs you that investiture with no intent or consciousness directing it is literally impossible. If a large quantity of investiture became aimless, it would spontaneously develop sentience and direct itself. The best you can do to render investiture aimless is to set parts of it against itself, which I'm betting is what splintering a shard must entail of. I hope that helps with the wish Some of what I said is theorizing on my part.

Your bane is that the Oathbringer release date is delayed another 2 months.

I wish for a half-hour glass... I have no idea why.

Granted, you have the bottom half of a hourglass, you bane is that now you have to use it once per day, and refill it when all the sand falls.

I wish for the best dinner ever.

[Gizmosowner he/him]

13 minutes ago, Idealistic Mistborn said:

Granted, you have the bottom half of a hourglass, you bane is that now you have to use it once per day, and refill it when all the sand falls.

I wish for the best dinner ever.

Granted, your dinner was made by my lord Numuhukumakiaki'aialunamor and includes large chunks of chull shell and dung. Some of the dung is human.

i wish for multiple boons without any banes. I wish for my first boon to be infinite knowledge and power yet still with infinite compassion and still with the ability to use my power

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

On 3/22/2017 at 3:21 PM, Gizmosowner said:

Granted, your dinner was made by my lord Numuhukumakiaki'aialunamor and includes large chunks of chull shell and dung. Some of the dung is human.

i wish for multiple boons without any banes. I wish for my first boon to be infinite knowledge and power yet still with infinite compassion and still with the ability to use my power

You have broken the laws of the Nightwatcher's way of working, and have thus created a paradox in which nothing is gained or lost and you receive neither a boon or a bane, which is too bad, because that was a good wish.

I wish for motivation to stop procrastinating.

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

Granted. The Nightwatcher curses you with a vicious monster that lurks in the shadows that will rip of your face and eat your soul in your sleep if you are not sufficiently productive that day. On the plus side, you will never be lazy!

I wish for strengths that perfectly counter my weaknesses, making me a complete and fully-capable-in-every-situation individual.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. You are now dead.

Strengths: you no longer have to deal with anything in this world. Weaknesses: you are no longer capable of dealing with anything in this world.

The strengths balance out the weaknesses. In all situations under the sun.

 

I wish for... Hm. I wish I weren't sick anymore.

 

EDIT: Sorry nightwatcher, but I've recovered before you could grant my wish, and so I now retract it without receiving a bane!

Instead... I wish for the best thing to wish for.

Edited March 25, 2017 by Drake Marshall

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

20 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

Granted. You are now dead.

Strengths: you no longer have to deal with anything in this world. Weaknesses: you are no longer capable of dealing with anything in this world.

The strengths balance out the weaknesses. In all situations under the sun.

 

I wish for... Hm. I wish I weren't sick anymore.

 

EDIT: Sorry nightwatcher, but I've recovered before you could grant my wish, and so I now retract it without receiving a bane!

Instead... I wish for the best thing to wish for.

The Nightwatcher mercifully retracts your original wish after deep consideration, and gives you the best thing you could wish for -- eternal happiness. Unfortunately, you have no one to share that eternal happiness with, leaving you unable to experience true joy in the company of others, despite being so happy.

[Brightness Enna she/her]

You didn't wish, @Firerust the Terris Gyorn!!!

You now have the ultimate bane... the Bane of Incarna. Good luck.

I wish for more chocolate muffins. And Oreos.

[Sworn-Defender he/him]

7 minutes ago, Brightness Enna said:

I wish for more chocolate muffins. And Oreos.

Granted.

You now have unlimited Chocolate Muffins and Oreos.

Your Bane is that you get violently ill when trying to eat anything BUT Chocolate Muffins and Oreos.

 

I wish for the perfect sense of comedic timing.

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

7 minutes ago, Brightness Enna said:

You didn't wish, @Firerust the Terris Gyorn!!!

You now have the ultimate bane... the Bane of Incarna. Good luck.

I wish for more chocolate muffins. And Oreos.

(That's right, I did forget my wish. My apologies.)

Granted. You have more chocolate muffins and Oreos, but your mouth has been subsequently erased to keep you from being able to eat them, forcing you to do something else with them.

I wish to casually meet Brandon Sanderson in person.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Another divergence in the paths of wishing! Only one way to fix it... Commence insulting wish granting!!!

 

1 hour ago, Sworn-Defender said:

I wish for the perfect sense of comedic timing.

Granted. Your many mistakes in life are perfectly timed so as to provide other people the maximum entertainment.

1 hour ago, Firerust the Terris Gyorn said:

I wish to casually meet Brandon Sanderson in person.

Granted. You casually meet Brandon Sanderson. Since Sanderson is still in his right mind when you meet him, he finds you intolerably obnoxious, and you never see him again.

 

I wish for an awakened abacus.

Edited March 31, 2017 by Drake Marshall

[Zennix he/him]

Granted. 

The results of any calculations you carry out using your awakened abacus is added to your age. Therefore, the more you use it, the older you get. 

I wish for double steel compounding.