Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[happyman he/him]

Granted...

 

You now have to fart every time you post something on the forum...

 

I wish for the ability to hear farts from miles away...

 

Granted.

 

You and everybody around you can also smell them from the same distance.  (Too easy.)

 

I wish for one good old-fashioned, fat-heavy, as healthy-as-is-physically-possible (except deliciously fatty), chocolate and peanut butter ice cream cone.

[hoidhunter he/him]

Granted...it's somewhere in Idaho.  Enjoy.

 

Your bane...from now on your normal body temperature is about 20 degrees hotter than usual.

 

And I wish for a good explanation why silver bullets are not a thing in AoL era Scadrial.

[natc]

There's literally no reason to make silver bullets at all.

Your bane is that you will never believe me.

I wish the weather here would get colder (can the bane not be temperature-related please? )

[hoidhunter he/him]

There's literally no reason to make silver bullets at all.

Your bane is that you will never believe me.

I wish the weather here would get colder (can the bane not be temperature-related please? )

Silver is allomantically inert (coinshots and lurchers can't affect it), silver is more ballistically sound than aluminum, and it's addressed that aluminum is as expensive as gold...silver is usually cheaper.  

 

Granted. The thermostat on your general geographic local will go down when the sun goes down...it will once again get warmer in the morning... 

 

Your bane is that you will never give me credit for granting your wish...

 

I with for an aluminum foil hat...

[Erunion he/him]

AFAIK Silver CAN be affected by steelpushing and iron pulling. It has not allomantic effect, but it IS affected by Allomancy. Unlike Aluminum, which cannot be pushed/pulled.

Too bad you'll never believe me.

Granted. It is lovely. Perfectly fitting and aesthetically pleasing.

Your bane is that everyone will know about it, and think it's lovely. And every time they see you, they'll talk about it. If you're not wearing it, they'll ask why not, and if you are, they'll ask to try it on/etc.

Once you're gone, they will be very confused by their own actions, and think of you as they would think of any other aluminum foil hat wearer.

I wish for a bead of Lerasium.

[Stormgate he/him]

Granted. You also have every Sanderfan in existence closing in on your location.

Did you really think we'd let you KEEP the Allomancy? Cute. I'll let the DA take this one.

Also, your bane is that you are now deathly afraid of stepping on cracks in the ground.

I wish to be a Mistborn, Feruchemist, and have appropriately large quantities of every Allomantic metal, unfilled and ready to be made into metalminds.

[WayneSpren he/him]

You are! Unfortunately, you now have enough spikes to be controlled by Ruin.

[Bowiespoon he/him]

Granted, you're curse is that you forgot to ask for a boon
.

 

I want to see a radiant fight a mistborn

[Brightness Enna she/her]

Granted. For some reason, the Mistborn is uncaring of your life and ends up sending a coin through your brain. You don't recover. Your bane is that you only watched the fight for thirty seconds before you died.

 

I wish for an unlimited Amazon gift card.

[Straw he/him]

Granted, every time you succeed in anything (including making a purchase) you must sing "we are the champions" 34 times.

I wish for white sand to be as good as words of radiance.

[Rasarr she/her]

Granted, it's excellent. For your service to Sharder community, your bane will be light: from today on, the pages in all your books, comics and graphic novels are arranged in reverse order (in that the first page is the last, the second is second-to-last etc.).

 

I wish for a Shardblade that won't scream at me, but will otherwise work as advertised.

[Master Elodin]

Granted. It's an Honorblade and Szeth is tracking you down. Your bane is that you're mute.

I wish to be a master of ChayShan.

[Erunion he/him]

Granted. Unfortunately, it's useless this far form Sel. 

 

Your Bane is that every time you wash your hands you black out afterwards.

 

I wish for Brandon to release more chapters of Oathbringer, ASAP.

[The Dragon Reborn]

Granted.

Your bane is that you can't read them or hear them.

I wish to be able to grant wishes.

[Brightness Enna she/her]

Granted. You now have to spend the rest of your life as a genie.

 

(spoiler because huge)

 

Your bane is that now you have to narrate your life out loud like a book, as it happens.

 

I wish for my April Fools pranks on other people to succeed, but their pranks on me wouldn't.

[Straw he/him]

Granted, your bane is that each time you prank someone you have to write a 93 haikus on their door.

I wish for Brandon to burn Bendalloy, compound atium and have a infinite amount of investure/both metals

[Master Elodin]

Granted. He spends his time writing terrible vampire novels.

I wish to be a good High Epic in the Invocationverse.

Edited March 18, 2016 by Master_Elodin

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted. You are a very powerful epic. In exchange you experience six days in a coma and one day awake every week. Which day of the week you are awake each time follows a complicated but possibly predictable pattern.

 

I wish for an aluminum spearhead.

Edited March 18, 2016 by Drake Marshall

[Jondesu he/him]

That's not what the Nightwatcher thinks you deserve. Instead, you get the boon of being able to to sense when others are thinking about you. Your bane is that you now hear everything as if you're underwater. It's understandable, but you have to focus to piece it together.

(Can we have fewer granted wishes? Remember, that's not really how it works.)

I wish I could understand the speech of babies.

[Mark IV he/him]

You now understand what babies want. Not their speech, just their wants.

Unfortunately though, that's all you now understand. Adults and children above 3 years cannot communicate with you because you can't understand them.

I wish I could make people do anything I wanted. (Muahahahahahahaha!)

Edited March 18, 2016 by Mark IV

[AnikoliNightmareVision she/her]

I wish I could make people do anything I wanted. (Muahahahahahahaha!)

Nightwatcher doesn't think you deserve it, so you could make monkeys do whatever you want. Your bane is that from now on you see every person as a monkey and you try to control them but it doesn't work. So you are mad cause of that and in all that confusion you forgot to go to zoo or jungle and find real monkey who could serve you.

[AnikoliNightmareVision she/her]

I wish to have and read every book that is on my reading list and that I can understand them and don't forgot what I read in them.

[WayneSpren he/him]

You have all the books! Unfortunately you figure out every Cosmere aspect causing Brandon to go insane and not write any more books.

 

I wish the quote button worked.

[Random Observations R Me]

Not granted. The Nightwatcher doesn't know what a quote button is, since there is no such thing as a computer on Roshar. Instead, you can only say things that you have heard other people say within the last minute. Nothing else.

 

I wish for the motivation to write the novel I've been wanting to write for the past two years.

Edited March 18, 2016 by Random Observations R Me

[Vander]

Granted. You can only write in Paolini's Ancient Language. Which is to say, it's incoherent.

 

I wish for nothing.