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Posted (edited)
16 minutes ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

I wish for fish.

But it's not on a dish, and it goes squish

I wish for a magic system

Edited by Argenti
Posted

Granted, the magic system allows you to receive a random bane from this thread whenever you touch metal. Your bane is that everything you touch turns into gold.

I wish someone would make me a sandwich.

Posted

Granted. It is the best sandwich you will ever taste. But you have to fight for it in a free-for-all war.

I wish to think and see in four dimensions

Posted (edited)

granted.  you now have an int mod of -10 and think 1000 lions could beat one of every pokemon.

i wish for a barrel of cured peepers from subnautica.

Edited by Just_a_Fan_YT
too many lions
Posted

Granted, this thread is just restarted. Your bane is that every time you post, 100 meme popups appear on your screen.

I wish to inflict a bane, which cannot be stopped by my bane, on everybody on the Shard.

Posted

Granted! You inflict the bane of really being obsessed with this one author named Brandon Sanderson. For your bane, you cough every time you see the color beige.

I wish for stick to become fire.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

granted, bane is you're stuck in the world of the visual novel twitch dates pokemon, therefore rendering it an effectively deadly paperweight.

I wish for a bane.

Posted

The Nightwatcher is confused. Your bane is unremovable Hungarian subtitles on everything.

I wish for a Switch.

Posted

Granted. Your bane is that you will be unable to read Sanderson until [REDACTED] of the month of [REDACTED] near N___________ while holding [REDACTED] and dancing as you Ascend to Adonalsium.

I wish to crash the Shard.

Posted

The Nightwatcher doesn’t grant that wish, on the grounds of it being a terrible wish.

I wish for the ability to pause time.

Posted

Granted. Your bane is that you always put your clothes on either inside out or backwards, except on national holidays in Romania. On those days, it's both.

I wish for a good haircut.

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

Granted, but you are the only member of the Stick Cult now, and will always be alone in your temple. And then it burns down. 

I wish for California to break off and fall into the ocean

Posted
12 hours ago, Kelsier'sGodComplex said:

Granted, but you are the only member of the Stick Cult now, and will always be alone in your temple. And then it burns down. 

I wish for California to break off and fall into the ocean

Granted. 100% granted. I have to curse you, so… you will only be able to put left socks on your right foot, and vice versa.

I wanna sword

Posted
1 hour ago, The cheeseman said:

Granted. Your room now smells like pennies.

I wish for a raise.

Granted. Your salary is raised by 1 penny

I wish for the ability to shapeshift.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

Granted. You shapeshift in the opposite way of a Kandra, you go from yourself to ball of mush and back.

I wish to finish writing my book.

Edited by Lightweaver2
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Granted, you can no longer see Wayne's lucky hat and you are always worrying about whether you wore it or not. You go insane from paranoia and get locked up in an asylum.

I wish for someone to respond.

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