Mat he/him Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 Granted. The second you finish them you will be struck dead. I wish that bird outside my window wasn't there.
SirWolfe Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Matrim's_Dice said: I wish that bird outside my window wasn't there. Granted, it vanishes in a puff of smoke. Your bane is that once a day, a small object in your line of sight will vanish forever. I wish for an unsealed bronze metalmind. Edited June 12, 2020 by SirWolfe
+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, Gears said: I wish that I have a copy of every book that Brandon has ever and will ever write in a format that I can understand and talk about without being rendered incapable of reading the books, listening to the books, or any other method of absorbing the information contained within the books. Granted. You're put in stasis for a thousand years, and the executors of your estate have dutifully placed a copy of everything that Brandon ever wrote during his lifetime in your cryogenic vault including photostatic copies of grocery lists, random musings on the back of envelopes while he was on hold on the phone, etc. After your thousand year sleep you see your mountainous accumulation of all the works Brandon ever created ( even the hundreds of titles co-written by Brandon-bot in the 2050's). Your cryochamber includes a food synthesizer, so for 3 solid months you do nothing but read and reread all of Brandon's books. All the secrets of the Cosmere are laid bare, all you questions have been answered with satisfying resolutions. You are completely content. When you emerge from your cryo chamber, what looks to be a mac classic on a hover board swerves within inches of your face. You struggle to see as your eyes adjust to the bright light of day. All around you see metal structures, and to your left the crappy, tinny sound of a robotic bird pierces your ear. The bird is perched on some sort of strange metal tree. You flag down a passing hover car, and when the window rolls down you see no one inside, then the car rudely yells "Get back, you'll scratch my paint flesh-bag". You have read all of Brandon's works, but you have no one to discuss them with. You are in fact the last human on earth. The good news is that Brandon-bot is still around and putting out books faster than you are biologically capable of reading them. Most of them are surprisingly good except the Fridge-Light Archive, those are total garbage. *Edit* Doh, Ninja'd. @SirWolfe I wish for an unsealed bronze metalmind. Granted. You are the proud owner of an unsealed bronze metalmind that has been promptly resealed through the process of vitrification in a 3' x 3' solid cube of glass. Quite the handsome paperweight you got. I wish hotdogs were health food. Edited June 12, 2020 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine 1
Enter a username Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 Granted. They cure cancer, but that makes them ridiculously expensive. I wish for the ability to change my reading speed at will. (I'm reading Warbreaker right now and I don't want to wait two weeks for another Sanderson book.) 1
Rosharan A.C. he/him Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 Granted. Your bane is that every three seconds faster that you read, a page of the book is lost to your memory. I wish for the willpower to go to bed early.
Enter a username Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 (edited) What about slower? I'm trying to make Warbreaker last until I can get another Sanderbook. Edit: Granted. You have the willpower to go to sleep at about 8 AM I wish that the upvote limit didn't exist. Edited June 12, 2020 by Enter a username
BringerOfLight Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, Enter a username said: What about slower? I'm trying to make Warbreaker last until I can get another Sanderbook. Edit: Granted. You have the willpower to go to sleep at about 8 AM I wish that the upvote limit didn't exist. Granted, but you can accrue no upvotes. I wish for my enemy's death. Edited June 12, 2020 by BringerOfLight
Gears Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 2 hours ago, BringerOfLight said: Granted, but you can accrue no upvotes. I wish for my enemy's death. Granted. Your enemy dies of natural causes many decades in the future. I wish to be a good friend of Hoid that is unaging and immortal, has not become a Shardbearer, has not sworn an oath of non-interference, and consistently has positive interactions with Hoid. 1
Enter a username Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 Granted. Everyone else you meet mistakes you for an enemy and attacks you, leaving you physically quite broken after only the first few centuries of it. After all, immortality and invincibility are two very different things. I wish gain Allomancy for cadmium and bendalloy without Hemalurgy.
Mist she/her Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 13 minutes ago, Enter a username said: I wish gain Allomancy for cadmium and bendalloy without Hemalurgy. Granted. You can now only drink liquids. I wish for a Pattern sticker.
Truthless of Shinovar he/him Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 3 hours ago, Mist said: Granted. You can now only drink liquids. Isn’t that what everybody does? Because you never drink solids, you only eat them...
Mist she/her Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 4 minutes ago, Truthless of Shinovar said: Isn’t that what everybody does? Because you never drink solids, you only eat them... Sorry. You cannot eat solids is what I meant.
Soulbinder she/her Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 4 hours ago, Mist said: Granted. You can now only drink liquids. I wish for a Pattern sticker. Granted. It isn’t waterproof and you receive it in the rain. I wish for a mini marshmallow.
theTruthshaper Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 Granted. The marshmallow is so small that you cannot see it. I wish that I could teleport to wherever I want to go whenever I want to go.
Truthless of Shinovar he/him Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 4 hours ago, The_Truthwatcher said: Granted. The marshmallow is so small that you cannot see it. I wish that I could teleport to wherever I want to go whenever I want to go. Granted, but whenever you teleport, it physically drains you as though you had sprinted the entire way there. I wish for something good.
+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 2 hours ago, Truthless of Shinovar said: I wish for something good. Granted. You got a puppy! Oh yeah and now you can only talk in rhyming couplets. I wish that I could acquire, a fancy magical lyre
Shard of Reading he/him Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 Granted. It is now bonded to your hand and you don't know how to play it. I wish for the force
Enter a username Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 Granted. It's infested with wasps. I wish that wasps were terrified of me an always flew away whenever they noticed me.
Emi she/her Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 33 minutes ago, Enter a username said: I wish that wasps were terrified of me an always flew away whenever they noticed me. Granted. You are now smelling like a clove oil (yes, I just searched whad are wasps afraid of) I wish to speak better English
Enter a username Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 Granted, but you can't learn any other languages. I wish for homework to be consigned to oblivion.
Emi she/her Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 9 minutes ago, Enter a username said: Granted, but you can't learn any other languages. I’m now proud of this wish. Bane isn’t big, when you can speak English well, because everyone understands you 12 minutes ago, Enter a username said: I wish for homework to be consigned to oblivion. This is so nice! I can’t give it bane, let someone else do it.
+Doomstick he/him Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 46 minutes ago, Enter a username said: Granted, but you can't learn any other languages. I wish for homework to be consigned to oblivion. Granted, you now have it as schoolwork and school is lengthened you allow time for the new schoolwork i wish for a blue jay 1
Enter a username Posted June 14, 2020 Posted June 14, 2020 Granted. It's constantly attacking you. I wish for all the Sanderbooks in a perfectly readable state and in English.
+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him Posted June 14, 2020 Posted June 14, 2020 7 minutes ago, Enter a username said: I wish for all the Sanderbooks in a perfectly readable state and in English. Granted. No one has ever had a problem reading the word Utah, so all of Brandon's personal books are now in Utah. The Nightwatcher didn't really have to do anything on this one so she gave you a temporary tattoo of Pattern, which only gave you a small mildly irritating rash. I wish I had pony that could talk, and as long as I'm wishing I wish my pony had an Irish brogue. 1
Enter a username Posted June 14, 2020 Posted June 14, 2020 Just now, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said: Granted. No one has ever had a problem reading the word Utah, so all of Brandon's personal books are now in Utah. I'll admit, I didn't see that coming. Granted. You can no longer see through glass. I wish for a teleporter.
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