Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[BringerOfLight]

9 minutes ago, Matrim's_Dice said:

Granted. In 300 years.

I wish for a grand piano

Granted. It's broken.

I wish for some applesauce.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

30 minutes ago, BringerOfLight said:

I wish for some applesauce.

Granted, apples are now all enlivened, but only the bitter ones. You get a particularly brutish one that follows you around waiting for you to screw-up so he can give you "sauce". 

I wish I could tap dance like Skimbkeshanks the railroad cat from the Cats movie.

Edited June 11, 2020 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine

[Enter a username]

Granted. Your head is upside down.

I wish for Allomantic Cadmium and Bendalloy.

[Soulbinder she/her]

41 minutes ago, Enter a username said:

Granted. Your head is upside down.

I wish for Allomantic Cadmium and Bendalloy.

Granted. You can’t use them as anything but paperweights.

I wish for the power to put my thoughts into words effectively. 

[BringerOfLight]

Granted, but you can't put words into your thoughts.

I wish to be bonded to a spren.

[Mat he/him]

Granted, congratulations on bonding the first ever alespren! 

I wish for good WiFi

[SirWolfe]

11 minutes ago, Matrim's_Dice said:

I wish for good WiFi

Granted, you have high speed internet access everywhere you go. Your bane is that every google search you do will have a minor misspelling.

I wish for the ability to not overheat.

Edited June 11, 2020 by SirWolfe

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

4 minutes ago, SirWolfe said:

I wish for the ability to not overheat.

Granted. You now are the most prodigious sweater the world has ever known. Seriously buckets of sweat. Wiping sweat off your brow makes you burst out into a fresh sweat, but you never overheat so it's not all bad.

I wish I had real life DM powers and that I could influence external events by rolling a 20 sided die (and I would show the Nightwatcher a 20 sided die to disarm the ambiguity in the word "die")

[Enter a username]

Granted. It never happens as you expect. 

I wish for the ability to burn the external temporal metals.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

58 minutes ago, Enter a username said:

I wish for the ability to burn the external temporal metals.

Granted! You appear above Siua Island in Indonesia directly over the center of the actively erupting volcano Karengatang. As you plummet you notice you have two good sized lumps of metal in your stomach and you intuitively know they are cadmium and bendalloy.

As you plummet towards the fiery heart of the volcano you realize that the Nightwatcher is ever the stickler for details, because you could use your allomantic powers to burn the cadmium (speeding up relative time), or the bendalloy (slowing down relative time), or you could simply plummet to your fiery death. Anyway you do it you'll be burning those metals for sure.

I wish dandelion seeds could be used as money.

Edited June 11, 2020 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine
Hahaha, my spell correct turned bendalloy into bendable

[Enter a username]

Granted. It'l take billions of them to equal a penny.

I wish for allomancy.

[SirWolfe]

6 minutes ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I wish dandelion seeds could be used as money.

Granted. Though, it's pretty much useless, considering the issue of inflation. And that's not even the bane. Your bane is that you develop severe dust allergies.

I wish for the ability to become more energetic (in terms of awake-ness and motivation) by standing in sunlight.

[Enter a username]

Granted. You are a stick. 

I wish for Allomancy

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

51 minutes ago, Enter a username said:

I wish for allomancy.

Granted. You're even a full allomancer, only problem is you're turned into a never-aging baby. Pre-speech, but you can army crawl and cruise using furniture. You get enough zinc from sucking on pennies and brass from sucking on door knobs that you can soothe and riot your parents so you always get to pick whats on the TV.

51 minutes ago, SirWolfe said:

I wish for the ability to become more energetic (in terms of awake-ness and motivation) by standing in sunlight.

Granted. Only problem is that your head is now dark brown and circular, and surrounded by a bunch of bright yellow petals and small green sepals. You look like a sunflower, but boy is that sunlight invigorating!

I wish that tanning booths were really covert entry points to underground CIA laboratories.

Edited June 11, 2020 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine

[Enter a username]

Granted. You can't know about it, though.

I wish that people would stop ignoring my "granted"s.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

40 minutes ago, Enter a username said:

I wish that people would stop ignoring my "granted"s.

Granted. The Nightwatcher, looking more pale than usual, suddenly starts talking to about packet routing, internet latency and many other such abstruse particulars about how the internet works. Finnally she shows you the following image highlighting the problem (Spoilered below)

Spoiler

if you look closely, your entry is above mine, but your reply hadn't registered before I submitted mine. Your post says clearly "posted 2 hours ago" while mine says "posted 1 hour ago". This seems to be a network latency issue, but it is bizarre. You might want to mention this on the 17th Shard tech support page if it keeps happening. 

Your bane was that you had to listen to the Nightwatcher drone on about IT issues. 

I wish that I had winged shoes like the god Hermes.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

1 hour ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I wish that tanning booths were really covert entry points to underground CIA laboratories.

What? Entry points? Who said anything about entry points?

Spoiler

 

*covertly into a walkie talkie*
He knows too much, send in strike squad six!

 

Edited June 12, 2020 by Truthless of Shinovar

[Enter a username]

Granted. You have ordinary shoes with wings on them.

I wish for my sister to age six months so that she can get a 17th Shard account, by her request.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

44 minutes ago, Truthless of Shinovar said:

What? Entry points? Who said anything about entry points?

Oh how nice! There are six suited florists here to give me some flowers, but why is that guy loading a bullet magazine into that bouquet and attaching a silencer to that rose?

17 minutes ago, Enter a username said:

I wish for my sister to age six months so that she can get a 17th Shard account, by her request.

The Nightwatcher says "Awwww, that's so sweet", and suddenly you find that you are looking out of your sister's eyes...it was her request to get a 17th shard account, but it's your account! Now your sister, after she swapped into your body did age 6 months, but unfortunately you'll have to wait 6 months to setup a new account. But since you were so sweet the Nightwatcher gave you an everlasting lollipop.

I wish that I could, without dying, travel past the event horizon of a black hole, with a firefly traveling companion ( who likewise wouldn't die) and see what happens to the light it emits. 

[Shard of Reading he/him]

1 minute ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I wish that I could, without dying, travel past the event horizon of a black hole, with a firefly traveling companion ( who likewise wouldn't die) and see what happens to the light it emits. 

Granted, but after you see what happens you die. (Because what you wished for happened)

I wish for a good book that I have never read before, in mint condition.

[theTruthshaper]

Granted. But the book is made mint flavored chewing gum.

I wish that I could fly.

[Shard of Reading he/him]

Granted. You are now a fly.

Truthwatcher: Bzzzzzzzz

Nightwatcher: You are so annoying *SMACK!*

I wish I could turn invisible

Edit: Why do I always notice my grammar mistakes after I post?

Edited June 12, 2020 by Shard of Reading
Grammar

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Granted, but you can only do it once, and you can’t come back.

I wish for a journey across the world.

[Shard of Reading he/him]

Granted. But you must do it in 80 days.

I wish for superpowers.

[Gears]

15 minutes ago, Shard of Reading said:

Granted. But you must do it in 80 days.

I wish for superpowers.

Granted. Your superpower is the ability to always insert the USB stick the right way first try. Your bane is that everyone pesters you to put their USB sticks in their devices. You never have a moment's rest. 

I wish that I have a copy of every book that Brandon has ever and will ever write in a format that I can understand and talk about without being rendered incapable of reading the books, listening to the books, or any other method of absorbing the information contained within the books.