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Craziest Theories


Sir Squeekins

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Alright everyone, it's time to post your most far-fetched cosmere theories and try to support them as best you can.

I'll go first: The first sentence of The Final Empire, "Ash fell from the sky," is actually referring to Shalash, who found a way to get offworld. The version of her on Roshar is actually a Lightweaving. I've got no WoBs or evidence, but STILL!

(Don't take any of these seriously, by the way.)

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HOID IS ADONALSIUM!

Why wouldn't he have known the 16 conspirators who stole his powers while posing as his friends.

Tanavast bought him drinks once to soften him up, and why do you think he hates Bavadin and Rayse so much? They headed the conspiracy. But now, reduced, Hoidonalsium travels the Cosmere in search of his investitures and things, trying to regain what he once was. Harmony, unaware of this past, takes him as a friend, but the other shards hold him at arms distance. 

He will stop at nothing to regain what he once was. 

All hail Hoid. 

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My theory is that Marsh took the "r" out of his name, then added an "o" to it. He then traveled to Roshar and disguised himself as Moash in order to cause mayhem because he was driven insane by his absurdly long lifespan and unstable immortality.

Edited by That1Cellist
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Todium is the suckling child from that one death rattle.
The 4 Dawnshards are "Therapy, change, open the dor, dinosaur"
Thus Ado opened the Dor, he saw a dinosaur, went to therapy and changed into 16 to ease the trauma. This is the Shattering.

As suggested by Rashar'a "Ado accidentally read Brandon's dinosaur erotica, you mean?" Also known as "Dragonsteel"

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12 minutes ago, Authorspren said:

Because apparently Kelsier's name is pronounced Kelsie-ay, his crew had a running joke where they called him "Kelsie-ay, the Survivo-ay."

 

Furthering this, because Scadrial has french influence, you can spot a Scardrain worldhopper because they all have french accents.

Spoiler

yes I'm talking about Ulaam

 

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Tien is Odium's Champion!

We know that Tien was a Lightweaver. Why couldn't he have Lightweaved his face onto one of his friends and convinced Kaladin that he had died? While Kaladin trained, Tien was slowly being corrupted by Odium, and is now convinced that Kaladin is wrong. 

Either that, or Odium pulled an Endowment and held Tien in stasis to Return him as a fused or just to torture Kaladin. 

 

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The secret to the Malwish being able to craft unkeyed metalminds is the prevalence of lutefisk and surströmming within their culture.  The real breakthrough came when the they figured out that Windwhisperers could work with both types of nasty fish while storing smell and taste so they could stay in the same room for more than 20 seconds.  The metalmind is crafted and then dipped into the surströmming for 37 seconds where, because of the horrific smell, is able to overcome and destroy all Identity in any object. 

That and the Swedish Chef is secretly a Malwish worldhopper.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

All of the Honorspren will choose to sacrifice themselves in order to be united with the remnants of Honor to become the new Shard of Honor.  Dalinar (maybe a newly sane Ishar, but for narrative purposes Dalinar would be better) will perform the reunification (Unite them), with Kaladin becoming the new Honor.  However, this will end the Windrunners as an organization.

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Honor will be reforged, but Dalinar will take it. However, the vessels for Cultivation and Odium will have died, so he will take all three shards, thus becoming- get this- UNITY! (But seriously, try to come up with a better vessel for all three of those shards than Dalinar)

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The magic fish in the Purelake are Cultivation's Godmetal!
 

If one were to take the time to "cultivate" (proof that my theory is foolproof) a fish farm and ate all of the fish in the purelake, they would turn into a shark!

I'm pretty sure that's just Cosmere Science

It's only a matter of time before Brandon confirms it

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