Morningtide she/her Posted March 30, 2023 Posted March 30, 2023 5 minutes ago, Cruciatus_heart said: They were lovely :)) I love the one where im like "kill it" and morningtide tells me to chill Yeah I like that one too lol
Szeth's Facepalm Posted March 30, 2023 Author Posted March 30, 2023 (edited) i just got this one and i don't know why but i was crying laughing: Morningtide: Goshdarn it, the printer broke while printing out Facepalm's birthday invitations. Elf: Well, what are they supposed to say? Morningtide: "Facepalm's birthday". Elf: So, what do they say instead? Morningtide: "Facepalm’s bi". Elf: Elf: Works out either way. Alternatively: Facepalm: Goshdarn it, the printer broke while printing out Elf's birthday invitations. Morningtide: Well, what are they supposed to say? Facpalm: "Elf's birthday". Morningtide: So, what do they say instead? Facepalm: "Elf's bi". Morningtide: Morningtide: Works out either way. Edit: adding more Spoiler Morningtide: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke? Elf: I only like dark humor. Morningtide, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle? Elf: Morningtide: An IMPASTA! Morningtide, tearing up the room: Where are they? Morningtide, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children? Morningtide: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I am going to start killing. Elf: What is the one thing I told you not to do? Facepalm: Burn the house down. Elf: And what did you do? Facepalm: I made dinner. Elf: Facepalm: Elf: Facepalm: And burnt the house down. Morningtide: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there? Elf: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before. Morningtide: Morningtide: *sobs* Facepalm: You scared them, you idiot. Facepalm: *makes Elf a cup of tea but puts salt in it* Elf: *sips tea* Facepalm: Elf: *finishes tea* Facepalm: Didn't it taste bad? Elf: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all. Facepalm, tearing up: Oh, okay. Elf: Someone will die... Facepalm: Of fun! *at a zoo* Morningtide: What are they in for? Elf: Morningtide, this isn't prison. Morningtide: So they can leave? Elf: No, but- Morningtide, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone. Edited March 30, 2023 by Szeth's Facepalm 3
Guest Posted March 30, 2023 Posted March 30, 2023 (edited) hehehehehhehe Made me giggle for quite a bit (But hey it does work out ) EDIT Lmaooo you're way too good at this Edited March 30, 2023 by Cruciatus_heart
Morningtide she/her Posted March 30, 2023 Posted March 30, 2023 Ha! You find the best ones! I love them all I love that Elf is just chaotic and dark and I'm just very pure. It fits honestly! 1
Szeth's Facepalm Posted March 31, 2023 Author Posted March 31, 2023 @Morningtide @Cruciatus_heart guys i'm obsessed I made more ;-; Spoiler Morningtide, in a horrible German accent: Bill Nye is on break, I'm Bill Nein. Facepalm: Can I go to the bathroom? Morningtide, in the same horrible German accent: Nein! Elf: This bloodline ends with me. Morningtide: That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay". Morningtide: Facepalm ain’t the problem this year. Elf: When are you gonna get it? Facepalm is ALWAYS the problem. Facepalm, about to leave the house: Don’t spend all day watching YouTube, okay? Morningtide: I FORGE MY OWN PATH!! Elf: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you. Elf: Ask me to kill for you. Facepalm: ...First of all, calm down- Elf: Facepalm, Morningtide, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing? Facepalm, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Morningtide is sitting atop: Oh nothing much. Morningtide: I love you too :) Facepalm: Hey Elf? Elf: Yeah? Facepalm: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false? Elf: Elf: ...What. Morningtide: Elf! I thought you were dead! Elf: No, just in deep cover. Morningtide: ...But it was an open casket. Elf: It was very deep. *While the Squad is in a battle* Elf, trying to warn about the location of an enemy: To the left! Morningtide: Take it back now y'all! Elf, skipping rocks on a lake with Facepalm: It’s such a beautiful evening. Facepalm: Yeah, it is. Facepalm: *whispering* Take that you stupid lake. 3
Guest Posted March 31, 2023 Posted March 31, 2023 4 hours ago, Szeth's Facepalm said: @Morningtide @Cruciatus_heart guys i'm obsessed I made more ;-; Hide contents Morningtide, in a horrible German accent: Bill Nye is on break, I'm Bill Nein. Facepalm: Can I go to the bathroom? Morningtide, in the same horrible German accent: Nein! Elf: This bloodline ends with me. Morningtide: That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay". Morningtide: Facepalm ain’t the problem this year. Elf: When are you gonna get it? Facepalm is ALWAYS the problem. Facepalm, about to leave the house: Don’t spend all day watching YouTube, okay? Morningtide: I FORGE MY OWN PATH!! Elf: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you. Elf: Ask me to kill for you. Facepalm: ...First of all, calm down- Elf: Facepalm, Morningtide, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing? Facepalm, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Morningtide is sitting atop: Oh nothing much. Morningtide: I love you too Facepalm: Hey Elf? Elf: Yeah? Facepalm: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false? Elf: Elf: ...What. Morningtide: Elf! I thought you were dead! Elf: No, just in deep cover. Morningtide: ...But it was an open casket. Elf: It was very deep. *While the Squad is in a battle* Elf, trying to warn about the location of an enemy: To the left! Morningtide: Take it back now y'all! Elf, skipping rocks on a lake with Facepalm: It’s such a beautiful evening. Facepalm: Yeah, it is. Facepalm: *whispering* Take that you stupid lake. Lmaoooo i love those Especially the "this bloodline ends with me" cause its totally something id say And the "ask me to kill someone. Please" cauze thats something i have said
Morningtide she/her Posted March 31, 2023 Posted March 31, 2023 I love them! I also love the bloodline one because that is absolutely something that I'd say! Also the chair tower one
Immortal Platypus Posted March 31, 2023 Posted March 31, 2023 On 3/30/2023 at 11:28 AM, Morningtide said: Ha! You find the best ones! I love them all I love that Elf is just chaotic and dark and I'm just very pure. It fits honestly! very pure until you say that you think a meerkat killed someone I love reading these though. I definitely didn't spend like an hour doing this the other month 1
Edema Rue she/her Posted March 31, 2023 Posted March 31, 2023 3 minutes ago, Being of Cacophony said: I definitely didn't spend like an hour doing this the other month And definitely didn't make fun of me with literally all of them. Why would you ever do a thing like that?
shortcake thr/eat ka/boom Posted March 31, 2023 Posted March 31, 2023 On 3/30/2023 at 11:35 AM, Szeth's Facepalm said: Morningtide, tearing up the room: Where are they? Morningtide, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children? Morningtide: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I am going to start killing. *le gasp* ITS FROM RANBOO!!! 1
S. Stormy she/her Posted April 10, 2023 Posted April 10, 2023 (edited) At @Cash67's request, I present a new format: Person 1: So do you have a crush on [this Kaladin guy]? Person 2: Yup. Person 1: *surprised laughter* Person 2: Didn't expect me to admit it outright, did you? Person 1: No, I did not. Person 2: I wear it with pride. Edited April 11, 2023 by Shallan Stormblessed 3
InfiniteInsanity she/her Posted April 10, 2023 Posted April 10, 2023 Spoiler Bookwyrm: What is your biggest weakness? Insa: I can be uncooperative. Bookwyrm: Okay, can you give me an example? Insa: No. Bookwyrm: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor. Insa: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it. Snail: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people. (Bookwyrm insists she's actually said this) *In a horror movie situation* Insa: I've got no service in my phone here. Snail: Shoot, my battery just died. Cellist: Sorry guys, I just broke my phone with a hammer. Bookwyrm: Guys, my phone is a book. Person: Why is there blood everywhere? Snail: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife. Person: You stabbed someone?! Snail: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife. Snail: My aesthetic is "would be suspected of witchcraft by small town citizens." Ranryu: I need life advice. Snail, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person. Snail: Do you know a turtles only weakness? Wizard: No... well, their slowness. Snail: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs. Snail: Now I have a plan. Snail: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable. @The Wandering Wizard @Ranryu @TheGreatSnail @That1Cellist @The Bookwyrm 2
Ranryu she/her Posted April 10, 2023 Posted April 10, 2023 (edited) Spoiler Potato: I desire moisture. Insanity: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person. Potato: Pardon the intrusion, but- Ranryu: On this moment or just my life in general? Ranryu: Ew. What kind of tea is this? Snail: I boiled gatorade. Bookwyrm: There’s no “I” in team, but there is one in pizza. Potato: So, you’re not going to share? Bookwyrm: I’m not going to share. Potato, grinning: Before you were what? Ranryu: Before I was- Potato: What? Ranryu: Before I was inter- Potato: Before you were interrupted? Ranryu: Cut me off one more time and I swear I'll- Potato: What? Ranryu: *makes frustrated sound* Wizard, nervously: Stop that. Before they hurt you. Wizard: I'm allergic to death. Wittles: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose. Wittles: You know, Potato, when you generalize, you tell general... lies. Potato: ... Potato: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns. Cellist: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward. Ranryu: I’m worried about you. Potato: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes... Potato: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps. Ranryu: ...That took an unexpected turn. Cellist: So did their neck. Ranryu: Please! Pretend I'm useful! Potato: Someone’s trying to break in. Call the cops! Snail: *loads shotgun* I got this. Potato: Last week you fell up the stairs, what do you mean- Wizard: I am 39 cheetos tall. Wittles: Why... are you measuring your height in cheetos? Wizard: Because we're out of doritos. Wittles: Hey, did you know as a kid I accidentally ate paper? Wizard: I feel like we've all done that at least once. Cellist: I ate it too- Wizard: See? Cellist:: -On purpose... Wittles & Wizard: ...What? Insanity: Why do you act like we’re three year olds? Snail, exasperated: WHY?!? Snail points at Potato: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR! Snail points at Cellist: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK! Snail points at Insanity: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND! Snail: AND YOU ASK ME WHY???? Cellist: Hello, McDonald's, I would like to purchase 130 chicken nuggets. Prepare yourselves. @That1Cellist, @TheGreatSnail @The Wandering Wizard @The Bookwyrm @InfiniteInsanity @Potato's Wit @Wittles of Shinovar I think I went a little overboard... Edited April 10, 2023 by Ranryu 3
That1Cellist he/him Posted April 10, 2023 Posted April 10, 2023 1 minute ago, Ranryu said: Hide contents Potato: I desire moisture. Insanity: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person. Potato: Pardon the intrusion, but- Ranryu: On this moment or just my life in general? Ranryu: Ew. What kind of tea is this? Snail: I boiled gatorade. Bookwyrm: There’s no “I” in team, but there is one in pizza. Potato: So, you’re not going to share? Bookwyrm: I’m not going to share. Potato, grinning: Before you were what? Ranryu: Before I was- Potato: What? Ranryu: Before I was inter- Potato: Before you were interrupted? Ranryu: Cut me off one more time and I swear I'll- Potato: What? Ranryu: *makes frustrated sound* Wizard, nervously: Stop that. Before they hurt you. Wizard: I'm allergic to death. Wittles: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose. Wittles: You know, Potato, when you generalize, you tell general... lies. Potato: ... Potato: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns. Cellist: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward. Ranryu: I’m worried about you. Potato: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes... Potato: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps. Ranryu: ...That took an unexpected turn. Cellist: So did their neck. Ranryu: Please! Pretend I'm useful! Potato: Someone’s trying to break in. Call the cops! Snail: *loads shotgun* I got this. Potato: Last week you fell up the stairs, what do you mean- Wizard: I am 39 cheetos tall. Wittles: Why... are you measuring your height in cheetos? Wizard: Because we're out of doritos. Wittles: Hey, did you know as a kid I accidentally ate paper? Wizard: I feel like we've all done that at least once. Cellist: I ate it too- Wizard: See? Cellist:: -On purpose... Wittles & Wizard: ...What? Cellist: Hello, McDonald's, I would like to purchase 130 chicken nuggets. Prepare yourselves. @That1Cellist, @TheGreatSnail @The Wandering Wizard @The Bookwyrm @InfiniteInsanity @Potato's Wit @Wittles of Shinovar I would like to say that I have indeed eaten paper on purpose before. But I sort of hate chicken nuggets. 2
Edema Rue she/her Posted April 10, 2023 Posted April 10, 2023 I once got bored at a performance and ate the entire program. The friend I was there with was *slightly* concerned. eating paper is a universal experience. 1
Wittles he/him Posted April 10, 2023 Posted April 10, 2023 12 minutes ago, Aes Sedai said: I once got bored at a performance and ate the entire program. The friend I was there with was *slightly* concerned. eating paper is a universal experience. Agreed
The Bookwyrm he/him Posted April 11, 2023 Posted April 11, 2023 1 hour ago, Ranryu said: Hide contents Potato: I desire moisture. Insanity: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person. Potato: Pardon the intrusion, but- Ranryu: On this moment or just my life in general? Ranryu: Ew. What kind of tea is this? Snail: I boiled gatorade. Bookwyrm: There’s no “I” in team, but there is one in pizza. Potato: So, you’re not going to share? Bookwyrm: I’m not going to share. Potato, grinning: Before you were what? Ranryu: Before I was- Potato: What? Ranryu: Before I was inter- Potato: Before you were interrupted? Ranryu: Cut me off one more time and I swear I'll- Potato: What? Ranryu: *makes frustrated sound* Wizard, nervously: Stop that. Before they hurt you. Wizard: I'm allergic to death. Wittles: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose. Wittles: You know, Potato, when you generalize, you tell general... lies. Potato: ... Potato: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns. Cellist: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward. Ranryu: I’m worried about you. Potato: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes... Potato: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps. Ranryu: ...That took an unexpected turn. Cellist: So did their neck. Ranryu: Please! Pretend I'm useful! Potato: Someone’s trying to break in. Call the cops! Snail: *loads shotgun* I got this. Potato: Last week you fell up the stairs, what do you mean- Wizard: I am 39 cheetos tall. Wittles: Why... are you measuring your height in cheetos? Wizard: Because we're out of doritos. Wittles: Hey, did you know as a kid I accidentally ate paper? Wizard: I feel like we've all done that at least once. Cellist: I ate it too- Wizard: See? Cellist:: -On purpose... Wittles & Wizard: ...What? Insanity: Why do you act like we’re three year olds? Snail, exasperated: WHY?!? Snail points at Potato: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR! Snail points at Cellist: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK! Snail points at Insanity: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND! Snail: AND YOU ASK ME WHY???? Cellist: Hello, McDonald's, I would like to purchase 130 chicken nuggets. Prepare yourselves. @That1Cellist, @TheGreatSnail @The Wandering Wizard @The Bookwyrm @InfiniteInsanity @Potato's Wit @Wittles of Shinovar I think I went a little overboard... Ranryu, Snail is the most likely of any of us to act like a three year old.
S. Stormy she/her Posted April 11, 2023 Posted April 11, 2023 I don't know if he'll respond. Because he's lame. But @HOTliketheSun.
The Paradoxical Phenomenon he/him Posted April 11, 2023 Posted April 11, 2023 23 hours ago, Ranryu said: Cellist: I ate it too- Wizard: See? Cellist:: -On purpose... Me and Cellist both. It’s in my Top Five Unusual Snacks I Ate as a Kid, right behind ant abdomens 1
Wittles he/him Posted April 11, 2023 Posted April 11, 2023 (edited) Lol, I love these so much Spoiler Kajsa: And here we see Wittles and Wizard in their natural habitat. Texting each other variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh. Wittles: Gaelic bread. Wizard: Grueling brad. Wittles: Ha ha, glamorous beans. Haly: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Kajsa: No, that's not how you make cookies. Wizard: FLOOR IT!! Haly: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Kajsa: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Haly: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Ranryu: DO IT! Kajsa: NO- Haly: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me. Archie: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body. Cinnamon: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot. Archie: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! Wittles: Hmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from... Ranryu, taping a knife onto a Roomba: Be free, my child. Cellist, entering the room with a small cut on their ankle: Who the- *at a zoo* Haly: What are they in for? Bookwyrm: Haly, this isn't prison. Haly: So they can leave? Bookwyrm: No, but- Haly, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone. @Kajsa :), @The Wandering Wizard, @The Halcyon Girl (o7), @The Bookwyrm, @Ranryu, @That1Cellist, @The Aspiring Archivist, @Cinnamon Edited April 11, 2023 by Wittles of Shinovar 2
kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ she/her Posted April 11, 2023 Posted April 11, 2023 1 minute ago, Wittles of Shinovar said: Haly: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Kajsa: No, that's not how you make cookies. Wizard: FLOOR IT!! Haly: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Kajsa: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Haly: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Ranryu: DO IT! Kajsa: NO- Can I just say that this is literally us? xD 1
S. Stormy she/her Posted April 11, 2023 Posted April 11, 2023 2 minutes ago, Wittles of Shinovar said: Cameron ?
Wittles he/him Posted April 11, 2023 Posted April 11, 2023 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Shallan Stormblessed said: ? Oops, I do these with my irl friends sometimes and I think I forgot to delete his name from the thing Quote Can I just say that this is literally us? xD Yes XD Edited April 11, 2023 by Wittles of Shinovar 1
The Wandering Wizard he/him Posted April 11, 2023 Posted April 11, 2023 6 minutes ago, Kajsa said: Can I just say that this is literally us? xD Yes it really is XD 1
kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ she/her Posted April 11, 2023 Posted April 11, 2023 (edited) Spoiler Wizzy: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night. Ranryu: All I drank was Redbull! Wizzy: How many? Ranryu: Eighteen. Silh, furious: What do you mean we have homework tonight? I have books to read. This one's funny but kind of weird since it's a ship: Kajsa: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you? Wizzy: Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now. Wizzy: Would you like me to tutor you? Haly: That was smooth. Ranryu: What? I'm not aggressive! Haly: Last Tuesday, you wacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips! Ranryu: Survival of the fittest, Haly. Hahaha this is another ship quote but still hilarious: Insa: Come on, Archie. Nobody actually believes that Wizzy is in love with me. Archie, to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that Wizzy is helplessly in love with Insa. *Everyone raises their hand* Insa: Wizzy, put your hand down. Wizzy: Ranryu! What did I tell you about lying? Ranryu, looking down: ...That it only works on Silh. Wittles: Ducks are better than rabbits. Cellist: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks. Ranryu: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey. Cellist: We’re not talking about flavour, Ranryu! Ranryu: Flavour counts! Cellist: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone? Wizzy: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers! Who’s cozier? Cellist: Okay, but- Wizzy: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER? Ranryu: Then why don’t we take a rabbit, a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out! Cellist: BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL, RANRYU! Ranryu: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, CELLIST! Wittles: I-- Haly: How would you like your pancakes? Cellist: Plain. Wittles: With sprinkles! Archie: Chocolate chips. Wizzy: Potatoes. *Cellist, Wittles, and Archie look at Wizzy* Wizzy: What? They're good. @The Wandering Wizard, @The Halcyon Girl (o7), @The Bookwyrm, @Ranryu, @The Aspiring Archivist, @Wittles of Shinovar, @Shining Silhouette Edited April 11, 2023 by Kajsa :) 1
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