The Battle for the Sandwich

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, Ookla-The-Stick said:

I don't care, and resume contemplating Whiplash's death scene. 

I still have the sandwich. 

I remind you that you had to rewrite my death scene, and while you are still cringing at the fact that I could do such a thing I take the sandwich 

[Just-A-Stick she/her]

2 minutes ago, Ookla the Resolute said:

I remind you that you had to rewrite my death scene, and while you are still cringing at the fact that I could do such a thing I take the sandwich 

I, feeling rather confused at what you just said, distract you with an AI picture of you, smack you with Merp, and steal the sandwich. 

[WhispersOfWit he/him]

*the whisper sooths away all of your emotions with a duralumin enhanced soothing* *mortified by your new emptiness you drop the sandwich* *the whisper picks it up* 

[Lunamor she/her]

I yell loudly to drown out the whisper and steal the sandwich.

[Just-A-Stick she/her]

I wonder how much longer people will resist the inevitable truth of me one day getting the sandwich forever. 

[WhispersOfWit he/him]

I take the sandwich and hide it 

[Lunamor she/her]

I use OreSeur to help me sniff it out.

[Immortal Platypus]

Seeing as I haven't had it for a while, I decide to take it

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I ride a badger mole out of the earth and grab the sandwich.

[The Honorable Musician he/him]

Honor rides a dragon down from the sky and grabs the sandwich.

[Lunamor she/her]

I get Hoid to seduce the dragon and steal the sandwich while it is distracted.

[Just-A-Stick she/her]

I swear (fictional)  at you till you tell me to watch my mouth and give me the sandwich. 

[Lunamor she/her]

I make terrible puns until you give me the sandwich to get me to stop.

[Edema Rue she/her]

Hungry the commslug begs Luna for the sandwich with all of her slug-y charms.

[Lunamor she/her]

I manage to resist the slug-y charms but feel really bad about it.

[Just-A-Stick she/her]

I grab the sandwich and ride majestically toward the One Mountain in the west, where I will enjoy the sandwich under the Gloamshadow trees.

@Edema Rue you will apricate this when you read Wingfeather tales. 

[Edema Rue she/her]

Hungry follows much less majestically.

[Faerie Braids she/her]

As you sit under the Gloamshadow trees, about to take your first bite of the sandwich, you feel a sharp pain at the back of your neck, and you drop the sandwich to slap at a horsefly. You miss, and it bites you again. Then, as you are distracted by its extremely irritating ability to dodge attempted squishings, a small, camouflaged cremling creeps up to the fallen sandwich. It wiggles its antennae and six more join it. Together, they carry the sandwich into the shadows, to be delivered to their master: The Seventeenth Swarm of the Sandwich-Stealing Strain...

[Lunamor she/her]

As I approach the annoying aphid-adjacent animals, I animatedly announce that I also am able to alliterate adeptly. I advance and attempt to appropriate the aliment.

[Just-A-Stick she/her]

I steal the sandwich as I try and make sense of what Luna just said. 

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

Using my power of understanding, I gain the sandwich.

[Edema Rue she/her]

Hungry the commslug asks the horsefly if it wants to be friends and team up to steal the sandwich.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I apologize to Hungry for my previous dropping them off a cliff and offer them the sandwich.

[Faerie Braids she/her]

The cremlings briefly confers with the rest of the Seventeenth Swarm before agreeing to the friendship. Slugs, after all, are distant cousins of crabs. I think? I am in biology next semester, so I should probably know that...anyway, The horsefly lands on the sandwich.

[Lunamor she/her]

I am starting to become concerned about the sandwich’s sanitary situation, so I put on a pair of gloves. Then, I attempt to carefully shoo away the horsefly and pick up the sandwich.