The Battle for the Sandwich

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

2 minutes ago, Through the Living Mippo said:

I decide to go to the snowy top of a mountain, pat a bunny on the head, and ponder life under an overhang for many ages and ages.

"That's really amazing actually" I exclaim, laughing.

I fall over

[Unintelligenius he/him]

4 hours ago, Through the Living Ink said:

I commit arson while whistling a wildly out of tune bad pop song 

I put out the fire and add a couple of life sentences to your prison time for arson, damages, and because why not.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

I get out my deck of random assorted magical cards, I give Ink a get out of Jail free card, and I stuff the magical deck back in my pocket.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

3 hours ago, Through The Living Ketek said:

I get out my deck of random assorted magical cards, I give Ink a get out of Jail free card, and I stuff the magical deck back in my pocket.

I sigh and unlock the prison cell to let Ink out. Then I wander off to find a Sandwich Finder 3000™.

[IAmThatOneGuy He/Him]

11 hours ago, Unintelligenius said:

I sigh and unlock the prison cell to let Ink out. Then I wander off to find a Sandwich Finder 3000™.

I offer to give you a Sandwich Searcher 4000™ Limited Edition, for all your Sandwich searching needs, for the price of one Sandwich!

[-ACE- he/him]

mmmm... I get hungry and eat the sandwich searcher 4000 limited edition out of your hands, then grab the sandwich and drop it on the ground in front of you. Then I park my car. On your sandwich.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

I pull out another card: the business card. this lets me open a mafia-creation business that offers free mafia creating advice.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

19 hours ago, Through The Living Ketek said:

I get out my deck of random assorted magical cards, I give Ink a get out of Jail free card, and I stuff the magical deck back in my pocket.

 

15 hours ago, Unintelligenius said:

I sigh and unlock the prison cell to let Ink out. Then I wander off to find a Sandwich Finder 3000™.

I am extremely grateful to everyone who aided me in escaping prison. I then pull out one of those custom blank Uno cards which my friends made, labelled "be gay, summon a demon, or draw 15 cards". I offer it to the mafia business in exchange for advice on how to make a mafia.

That is genuinely an Uno card my friend has. 

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

2 hours ago, Through the Living Ink said:

 

I am extremely grateful to everyone who aided me in escaping prison. I then pull out one of those custom blank Uno cards which my friends made, labelled "be gay, summon a demon, or draw 15 cards". I offer it to the mafia business in exchange for advice on how to make a mafia.

That is genuinely an Uno card my friend has. 

I accept your offer and give you the Successful Mafia Boss' Handbook Volume 3.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

7 hours ago, -ACE- said:

mmmm... I get hungry and eat the sandwich searcher 4000 limited edition out of your hands, then grab the sandwich and drop it on the ground in front of you. Then I park my car. On your sandwich.

I kick over your car and grab the Sandwich from underneath it and then park my car on top of your now overturned car.

[Grubfriend He/Him]

2 hours ago, Unintelligenius said:

I kick over your car and grab the Sandwich from underneath it and then park my car on top of your now overturned car.

I pile a bunch of cars on top of each other in the form of a jenga tower and challenge you to a game of jenga. winner gets the Sandwich.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

I pull a wild card and suddenly the Jenga tower is made out of oversized copies of the empire state building

[-ACE- he/him]

15 hours ago, Unintelligenius said:

I kick over your car and grab the Sandwich from underneath it and then park my car on top of your now overturned car.

No! My car!

13 hours ago, Through The Living Ketek said:

I pull a wild card and suddenly the Jenga tower is made out of oversized copies of the empire state building

No! My car! Again!

 

13 hours ago, Xiahida said:

I pile a bunch of cars on top of each other in the form of a jenga tower and challenge you to a game of jenga. winner gets the Sandwich.

I accept this challenge of skill and strength. You move first. 

(While you were paying attention to my words, my hands pop off and sneak over and grab the sandwich. They crawl up the Jenga tower, where they place the sandwich on top, then crawl back to me)

Edited March 20 by -ACE-

[Grubfriend He/Him]

1 hour ago, -ACE- said:

accept this challenge of skill and strength. You move first. 

(While you were paying attention to my words, my hands pop off and sneak over and grab the sandwich. They crawl up the Jenga tower, where they place the sandwich on top, then crawl back to me)

With all of the overdramatic flare I can muster, I pull a center block out of the tower.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

and then the entire thing falls over. because you pulled out the left side block on the bottom. you lose and go to grammar jail.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

2 hours ago, Through The Living Ketek said:

and then the entire thing falls over. because you pulled out the left side block on the bottom. you lose and go to grammar jail.

Meanwhile, I arrest you and send you to Capitalism jail, because I got capitalisation and capitalism mixed up. I then start a space mafia of jellyfish.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

13 minutes ago, Through the Living Ink said:

Meanwhile, I arrest you and send you to Capitalism jail, because I got capitalisation and capitalism mixed up. I then start a space mafia of jellyfish.

I ask how high-tech this jail is

14 minutes ago, Through the Living Ink said:

capitalisation

why art thou using Brit words

[___ He/Him]

8 minutes ago, Through The Living Ketek said:

I ask how high-tech this jail is

why art thou using Brit words

He is british I think

Edited March 20 by Through the Living Mippo

[Unintelligenius he/him]

8 hours ago, -ACE- said:

(While you were paying attention to my words, my hands pop off and sneak over and grab the sandwich. They crawl up the Jenga tower, where they place the sandwich on top, then crawl back to me)

I grab the Sandwich from off the now toppled jenga tower and build an even higher one and place a fake Sandwich on it. Then I get bored and knock it over. Then I build a fortress out of jenga blocks and hide inside.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

19 hours ago, Unintelligenius said:

I grab the Sandwich from off the now toppled jenga tower and build an even higher one and place a fake Sandwich on it. Then I get bored and knock it over. Then I build a fortress out of jenga blocks and hide inside.

I remove exactly one jenga block from your fortress, cackling evilly.

23 hours ago, Through The Living Ketek said:

I ask how high-tech this jail is

why art thou using Brit words

Prithee, I am a Brit. Thou dost be American, one assumes?

The gaol do be of utmost contemporary design, fair sir *doffs cap*. Why, there is even a lever-operated water well!

Wow my Shakespearean is rubbish

23 hours ago, Through the Living Mippo said:

He is british I think

Yup! It is 5:44pm for me now!  (I put 5 different times into that sentence, I took so long typing)

the main thing on the forums is that I spell Honour not as Honor, thereby destroying the reason for 85% of Roshar's worldbuilding. Also, it rains a lot

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I steal the Sandwich. Only I know how it happened >:D

[IAmThatOneGuy He/Him]

2 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

I steal the Sandwich. Only I know how it happened >:D

I pull out a bubble pipe and smile smugly. "Using deductive reasoning, there is only one explanation."
I pause for dramatic effect. 
"... Yeah, I got nothing. But the past is the past. It only matters if you look back."
I blow a bunch of bubbles in your face, and while you engage in your inner child, I steal the Sandwich.
 

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

On 3/21/2026 at 12:44 PM, Through the Living Ink said:

Prithee, I am a Brit. Thou dost be American, one assumes?

The gaol do be of utmost contemporary design, fair sir *doffs cap*. Why, there is even a lever-operated water well!

Knowing the exact high-technology aspects of this jail, I pull out a key card from my deck and escape. And because I'm mad at @Through the Living Ink, I turn them into an American for the next six hours.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

On 3/21/2026 at 7:18 PM, ThatOneGuyOverThere said:

I pull out a bubble pipe and smile smugly. "Using deductive reasoning, there is only one explanation."
I pause for dramatic effect. 
"... Yeah, I got nothing. But the past is the past. It only matters if you look back."
I blow a bunch of bubbles in your face, and while you engage in your inner child, I steal the Sandwich.
 

I hated bubbles as a child so I blow them back towards you and steal the Sandwich.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

4 hours ago, Through The Living Ketek said:

Knowing the exact high-technology aspects of this jail, I pull out a key card from my deck and escape. And because I'm mad at @Through the Living Ink, I turn them into an American for the next six hours.

What? Oh no!

Uh .... ah ya, color and capitalization. I sure hope I don't have a spelling test!

*to the cat under the table* quick, what do Americans do?

Oh wait, timezones! *falls asleep* 

*wakes up* wait no it's earlier for you; do I do the whole day again?

*passes out anyway*

*steals the Sandwich in my sleep*