The Battle for the Sandwich

[Shatter He/Him]

4 minutes ago, Kansas Stormcursed said:

...

Dear God Shatter

wut. It's a good name. Herr Federflugüberwachungsbehördenleiter von Hochdachfenstersims.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

7 hours ago, Shatter said:

My pigeon-god, Herr Federflugüberwachungsbehördenleiter von Hochdachfenstersims, politely asks for the duel to not happen as he is a good god. He'd like to get into retirement with a nice pension. He's a hardworking pigeon.

I would like to convert to this pigeon religion. Herr Federflugüberwachungsbehördenleiter von Hochdachfenstersims seems nice. 

It is a great name!

[Shatter He/Him]

49 minutes ago, Ink and Embers said:

I would like to convert to this pigeon religion. Herr Federflugüberwachungsbehördenleiter von Hochdachfenstersims seems nice. 

It is a great name!

He doesn't have one. He's a god with no religion. He's very unlike Kelsier... Doesn't want a religion. Also, I know. I'm very proud of the name.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

19 hours ago, Ink and Embers said:

While you turn away, I grab the Sandwich as you're distracted by preparations for the duel. 

One of my many guards notices you taking the Sandwich and takes it from you and then throws you in prison. He then gives me the Sandwich.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

12 hours ago, Shatter said:

He doesn't have one. He's a god with no religion. He's very unlike Kelsier... Doesn't want a religion. Also, I know. I'm very proud of the name.

I apologise to Herr Federflugüberwachungsbehördenleiter von Hochdachfenstersims in case I offended him. 

4 hours ago, Unitelligenius said:

One of my many guards notices you taking the Sandwich and takes it from you and then throws you in prison. He then gives me the Sandwich.

I then start talking to the prison guards so much, they get sick of me and release me so I shut up. 

[Shatter He/Him]

2 hours ago, Ink and Embers said:

I apologise to Herr Federflugüberwachungsbehördenleiter von Hochdachfenstersims in case I offended him. 

I then start talking to the prison guards so much, they get sick of me and release me so I shut up. 

Herr Federflugüberwachungsbehördenleiter von Hochdachfenstersims accepts your apology.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

On 12/25/2025 at 10:49 PM, Ink and Embers said:

I then start talking to the prison guards so much, they get sick of me and release me so I shut up. 

They release you into solitary confinement which is soundproof so they can't hear you.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

6 hours ago, Unitelligenius said:

They release you into solitary confinement which is soundproof so they can't hear you.

Fortunately, this means no one is looking at me, so I quickly dig my way out using a teaspoon, grab the Sandwich on the way past, and fly back to Ganymede. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

On 12/27/2025 at 11:15 PM, Ink and Embers said:

Fortunately, this means no one is looking at me, so I quickly dig my way out using a teaspoon, grab the Sandwich on the way past, and fly back to Ganymede. 

Ganymede, as in the middle of the grass field that has a sign reading "Ganymede" on it. You are quickly approached by mole who wants to sue for trespassing. As you're distracted by said mole I grab the Sandwich and teleport back to the colosseum.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

15 hours ago, Unitelligenius said:

Ganymede, as in the middle of the grass field that has a sign reading "Ganymede" on it. You are quickly approached by mole who wants to sue for trespassing. As you're distracted by said mole I grab the Sandwich and teleport back to the colosseum.

I apologise to the mole and give it some strawberries in compensation. I then run after Uninteligenius to hit him with a baseball bat. 

[strmblsd he/him]

I appear and scream loudly. Then I go to make myself a sandwich. While making this sandwich I light myself on fire and blow up my toaster. I then decided to go search for the sandwich because it will probably be safer that way

[Unintelligenius he/him]

On 12/29/2025 at 11:18 PM, Ink and Embers said:

I apologise to the mole and give it some strawberries in compensation. I then run after Uninteligenius to hit him with a baseball bat. 

I duck.

On 12/30/2025 at 11:13 AM, strmblsd said:

I appear and scream loudly. Then I go to make myself a sandwich. While making this sandwich I light myself on fire and blow up my toaster. I then decided to go search for the sandwich because it will probably be safer that way

During your travels you fall off a cliff and a nuke falls on you. Then you recieve a letter in the mail saying @Through The Living Glass sent the nuke.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

7 hours ago, Unitelligenius said:

I duck.

During your travels you fall off a cliff and a nuke falls on you. Then you recieve a letter in the mail saying @Through The Living Glass sent the nuke.

A duck bites your nose.

The duck's accomplice, a heron, grabs the Sandwich from you and flies off, not before shoving you off the same cliff as strmblsd.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

9 hours ago, Unitelligenius said:

I duck.

During your travels you fall off a cliff and a nuke falls on you. Then you recieve a letter in the mail saying @Through The Living Glass sent the nuke.

Indeed I did not.

I wonder who is framing me . . .

[strmblsd he/him]

I go to find @Through The Living Glass to ask why

[Unintelligenius he/him]

11 hours ago, Ink and Embers said:

A duck bites your nose.

The duck's accomplice, a heron, grabs the Sandwich from you and flies off, not before shoving you off the same cliff as strmblsd.

I land on a big pile of bubble wrap then use my Heron Finder 3000© to find the heron. I politely ask for the Sandwich back.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

11 hours ago, Unitelligenius said:

I land on a big pile of bubble wrap then use my Heron Finder 3000© to find the heron. I politely ask for the Sandwich back.

The heron, being a polite heron, gives you the Sandwich. 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

12 hours ago, strmblsd said:

I go to find @Through The Living Glass to ask why

I shrug and melt into a flesh puddle.

[strmblsd he/him]

13 hours ago, Through The Living Glass said:

I shrug and melt into a flesh puddle.

I put you in a you shaped mold like they do in Phineas and ferb and resloidify you

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I take advantage of the fact that The Sandwich was summoned into my D&D campaign to steal it.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I appear in your DnD campaign, malevolently grinning and holding an ice cream.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

On 12/24/2025 at 6:44 PM, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Clone asks if you want to become an ArchGovernor.

I say yes.

I also steal the Sandwich bc it's been too long

Parents haven't let me get on my laptop during winter break lol

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

8 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

I say yes.

I also steal the Sandwich bc it's been too long

Parents haven't let me get on my laptop during winter break lol

Clone asks where.

It can be any planet, dwarf planet, or major moon in the Solar System.

Ganymede, Mercury, Callisto, The Moon, and Titan are taken.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

13 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

I say yes.

I also steal the Sandwich bc it's been too long

Parents haven't let me get on my laptop during winter break lol

I take the Sandwich out of niceness so that you won't be burdened with carrying it around.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

16 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Clone asks where.

It can be any planet, dwarf planet, or major moon in the Solar System.

Ganymede, Mercury, Callisto, The Moon, and Titan are taken.

I'd like Earth.

10 hours ago, Unitelligenius said:

I take the Sandwich out of niceness so that you won't be burdened with carrying it around.

I don't think that this is nice, so I take the Sandwich back.