The Battle for the Sandwich

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

6 minutes ago, Shatter said:

Khriss suspects that the land itself on Sel is undergoing a process like this as a result of Devotion and Dominion's Investiture being trapped in the Cognitive Realm. Brandon has said that the planet cannot become a vessel, but I've also seen reports that Brandon has confirmed the planet of Sel is itself gaining conscious, because of the Dor leaking into it.

It's currently stuck in a place between canon and theory.

Ooo, awesome!!! Thank you!!!

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

I get bored of people discussing their possessions and take the sandwich back to Arrakis, placing it on a pedestal. 

[pureintonation she/her]

I turn the sandwich into a cat using Transfiguration, crouch down, extend my hand, and say “pspspsps” until it wanders to me. It turns back into a sandwich in my hand. 

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

I appear.

Hi

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

2 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

I appear.

Hi

Clone appears beside you.

"There's a three-way duel going on right now," he says.

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

12 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Clone appears beside you.

"There's a three-way duel going on right now," he says.

That's weird.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

4 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

That's weird.

"It's a duel for which faction gets to rule the BftS universe. Named is representing the Chromeria, Bartholomew is fighting for Arrakis, and Jerome the Monkey Kingdom"

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

1 minute ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

"It's a duel for which faction gets to rule the BftS universe. Named is representing the Chromeria, Bartholomew is fighting for Arrakis, and Jerome the Monkey Kingdom"

Ah. Why wouldn't I just... Steal the sandwich while their fighting?

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

9 hours ago, pureintonation said:

I turn the sandwich into a cat using Transfiguration, crouch down, extend my hand, and say “pspspsps” until it wanders to me. It turns back into a sandwich in my hand. 

I am rather annoyed and vaporize you on the spot, then reform you as a blob stuck in a magical maximum security prison multiple light years away. I put the sandwich back on the pedestal and tell it to stay put next time. I assign a sandcaterpillar to guard it. 

12 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

Ah. Why wouldn't I just... Steal the sandwich while their fighting?

“There is no reason why you wouldn’t. That is the point of the game, after all.”

I spawn behind you. 

“Of course, I’m not quite sure what would happen to the deal if none of us has the sandwich when the contest ends, so I’m keeping it safe for now.”

Edited January 24 by Ashkaloda

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

1 hour ago, Ashkaloda said:

I am rather annoyed and vaporize you on the spot, then reform you as a blob stuck in a magical maximum security prison multiple light years away. I put the sandwich back on the pedestal and tell it to stay put next time. I assign a sandcaterpillar to guard it. 

“There is no reason why you wouldn’t. That is the point of the game, after all.”

I spawn behind you. 

“Of course, I’m not quite sure what would happen to the deal if none of us has the sandwich when the contest ends, so I’m keeping it safe for now.”

Wait. When did the sandwich become sentient?

This is confusing.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

11 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

Wait. When did the sandwich become sentient?

This is confusing.

“The sandwich has become and lost sentience innumerable times throughout the course of the thread, but I was referring to when it just was turned into a cat and scuttled off.”

I pat you on the back. 

“No more confusing then when you tried being some weird ORV godlike thing.”

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

Just now, Ashkaloda said:

“The sandwich has become and lost sentience innumerable times throughout the course of the thread, but I was referring to when it just was turned into a cat and scuttled off.”

I pat you on the back. 

“No more confusing then when you tried being some weird ORV godlike thing.”

Shush. Shhhhhhhhh.

We dont talk about that.

I go up to the sandwich and stare at it.

Then I look at it with the stare of death.

And it dies.

It's not destroyed, it just dies.

Fixed it!

[pureintonation she/her]

1 hour ago, Ashkaloda said:

I am rather annoyed and vaporize you on the spot, then reform you as a blob stuck in a magical maximum security prison multiple light years away. I put the sandwich back on the pedestal and tell it to stay put next time. I assign a sandcaterpillar to guard it. 

I try to escape. I fail. Multiple times. Again and again, over the course of many years, knocked back down on my knees just when I think I can remember the taste freedom on my lips.
 

Eventually, I give up. I go through a period of depression. But then, slowly, I learn to live again. I make friends. I learn to knit. I start a knitting club. We give back go the community. I remember what living feels like.

I make a groovy hat for the guard. He is so moved by the gesture that he lets me go. I almost don’t go… how could I? After everything I’ve built? All the people I’ve helped with just some yarn and a shoulder to cry on??? 
 

The sandwich… ah, yes. 

I return to its location via wormhole, appearing just above the pedestal  where it sits. I peak out of the hole in space and time. The sandcaterpillar seems to be observing the area around the pedestal where thieves would walk up to it, not the space just above it. I snatch the sandwich. 
 

**Edit: I snatch the apparently dead sandwich

Edited January 24 by pureintonation

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

3 minutes ago, pureintonation said:

I try to escape. I fail. Multiple times. Again and again, over the course of many years, knocked back down on my knees just when I think I can remember the taste freedom on my lips.
 

Eventually, I give up. I go through a period of depression. But then, slowly, I learn to live again. I make friends. I learn to knit. I start a knitting club. We give back go the community. I remember what living feels like.

I make a groovy hat for the guard. He is so moved by the gesture that he lets me go. I almost don’t go… how could I? After everything I’ve built? All the people I’ve helped with just some yarn and a shoulder to cry on??? 
 

The sandwich… ah, yes. 

I return to its location via wormhole, appearing just above the pedestal  where it sits. I peak out of the hole in space and time. The sandcaterpillar seems to be observing the area around the pedestal where thieves would walk up to it, not the space just above it. I snatch the sandwich. 
 

**Edit: I snatch the apparently dead sandwich

I nod, knowing I had done the right thing.

Killing the sandwich was the right option, and there was nothing i could do about the random person slowly stealing the sandwich.

Why would I defend or protect a dead body?

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

4 minutes ago, pureintonation said:

I try to escape. I fail. Multiple times. Again and again, over the course of many years, knocked back down on my knees just when I think I can remember the taste freedom on my lips.
 

Eventually, I give up. I go through a period of depression. But then, slowly, I learn to live again. I make friends. I learn to knit. I start a knitting club. We give back go the community. I remember what living feels like.

I make a groovy hat for the guard. He is so moved by the gesture that he lets me go. I almost don’t go… how could I? After everything I’ve built? All the people I’ve helped with just some yarn and a shoulder to cry on??? 
 

The sandwich… ah, yes. 

I return to its location via wormhole, appearing just above the pedestal  where it sits. I peak out of the hole in space and time. The sandcaterpillar seems to be observing the area around the pedestal where thieves would walk up to it, not the space just above it. I snatch the sandwich. 
 

**Edit: I snatch the apparently dead sandwich

I am extremely tempted to vaporize you again, but figure that would be rude after all the effort you just went through to get here. I specifically instruct the sandcaterpillar to not eat you, when the doorbell to my fortress suddenly rings. After having a very loud argument with a salesperson, I return to find the sandcaterpillar licking its lips (yes it has a tongue now don’t question it), with a you shaped bulge in its stomach. I sigh. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

12 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

Shush. Shhhhhhhhh.

We dont talk about that.

I go up to the sandwich and stare at it.

Then I look at it with the stare of death.

And it dies.

It's not destroyed, it just dies.

Fixed it!

Sentient Chull Person grabs your arm and says that you are now going to be tried for treason against a member of Spectrum. 

[pureintonation she/her]

6 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

I am extremely tempted to vaporize you again, but figure that would be rude after all the effort you just went through to get here. I specifically instruct the sandcaterpillar to not eat you, when the doorbell to my fortress suddenly rings. After having a very loud argument with a salesperson, I return to find the sandcaterpillar licking its lips (yes it has a tongue now don’t question it), with a you shaped bulge in its stomach. I sigh. 

I begin making… very accurate baby sandcaterpillar noises from within its stomach. I convince the beast that it is pregnant and that I am its baby. From within its belly, I tell it that I’m hungry and could really use a sandwich… willing to do anything for its progeny, it laps up the sandwich with its tongue (doesn’t chew!!) and swallows it, dropping it right back to me. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

6 minutes ago, pureintonation said:

I begin making… very accurate baby sandcaterpillar noises from within its stomach. I convince the beast that it is pregnant and that I am its baby. From within its belly, I tell it that I’m hungry and could really use a sandwich… willing to do anything for its progeny, it laps up the sandwich with its tongue (doesn’t chew!!) and swallows it, dropping it right back to me. 

Unless Ash changed some major stuff from original sandworms, the giant tardigrades don't reproduce like that

But okay.

[pureintonation she/her]

5 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Unless Ash changed some major stuff from original sandworms, the giant tardigrades don't reproduce like that

But okay.

Idk it has a tongue and lips now so I figure non canon reproduction methods are ok too 

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

12 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Unless Ash changed some major stuff from original sandworms, the giant tardigrades don't reproduce like that

But okay.

Ash did not change that, but given that the first mention of sandworm reproduction occurred just then, it is now canon ‘cause that’s how bolder text works. 

Sorry I third person when I’m really tired. 

27 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Sentient Chull Person grabs your arm and says that you are now going to be tried for treason against a member of Spectrum. 

“The sandwich was already dead at the point that Coder killed it, given that its sentience had come from the temporary cat form it took. Also, I don’t think it’s treason if you are not under the jurisdiction of the ruling body; I think it’s a different charge.”

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

1 minute ago, Ashkaloda said:

Ash did not change that, but given that the first mention of sandworm reproduction occurred just then, it is now canon ‘cause that’s how bolder text works. 

Sorry I third person when I’m really tired. 

“The sandwich was already dead at the point that Coder killed it, given that its sentience had come from the temporary cat form it took. Also, I don’t think it’s treason if you are not under the jurisdiction of the ruling body; I think it’s a different charge.”

Alright.

"No, it was sentient before then. That's how it was made Yellow." SCP paused. "You're right. Coder is now wanted by the Chromeria."

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

13 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Alright.

"No, it was sentient before then. That's how it was made Yellow." SCP paused. "You're right. Coder is now wanted by the Chromeria."

I shrug. 

“Sorry, @CoderDrag0n8, I don’t really feel like starting another war right now. You’re on your own.”

I disappear in a cloud of purple glitter. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

Sentient Chull Person bonks @CoderDrag0n8 on the head with the Maw 27 (a sentient black hole frying pan), which I gifted to them.

Coder is then dragged to the Chromeria's prison.

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

2 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Sentient Chull Person grabs your arm and says that you are now going to be tried for treason against a member of Spectrum. 

1 hour ago, Ashkaloda said:

I shrug. 

“Sorry, @CoderDrag0n8, I don’t really feel like starting another war right now. You’re on your own.”

I disappear in a cloud of purple glitter. 

1 hour ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Sentient Chull Person bonks @CoderDrag0n8 on the head with the Maw 27 (a sentient black hole frying pan), which I gifted to them.

Coder is then dragged to the Chromeria's prison.

Wild stuff.

I say Hi to Chromeria.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

15 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

Wild stuff.

I say Hi to Chromeria.

The Chromeria does not say anything back.