The Battle for the Sandwich

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

18 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

"It's a brown recluse," he said. "I got it in TLT."

"Ah," I say, trying to prevent Kevin eating it, "How likely is it to kill someone?"

[Unintelligenius he/him]

1 hour ago, Ashkaloda said:

Bartholomew turns to face him and then rushes forward, pressing the attack. He swings aggressively, recognizing that an extended battle will not be favorable for him. 

Jerome ducks under his swing and swipes at his legs, hoping to slow his opponent down and immobilize him.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

5 hours ago, Ink and Embers said:

"Ah," I say, trying to prevent Kevin eating it, "How likely is it to kill someone?"

"Well, this one seems quite passive," Unnamed said. "But if you get it to bite once, you're dead."

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I steal the Sandwich by distracting you with a violin sounding like a dying cat.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

18 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

"Well, this one seems quite passive," Unnamed said. "But if you get it to bite once, you're dead."

"I see. Are you one of those people who won't die if you get bitten, or should I be worried?"

2 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

I steal the Sandwich by distracting you with a violin sounding like a dying cat.

Kevin runs and hides. I steal the violin. 

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

44 minutes ago, Ink and Embers said:

"I see. Are you one of those people who won't die if you get bitten, or should I be worried?"

Kevin runs and hides. I steal the violin. 

2 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

I steal the Sandwich by distracting you with a violin sounding like a dying cat.

I snap the violin in half to stop the torture. A dying cat would sound better. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

5 hours ago, Ink and Embers said:

"I see. Are you one of those people who won't die if you get bitten, or should I be worried?"

Kevin runs and hides. I steal the violin. 

"I will die, but you shouldn't be worried either."

[Unintelligenius he/him]

12 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

I steal the Sandwich by distracting you with a violin sounding like a dying cat.

I grab the Sandwich from you and run and hide in a secret place.

 

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

On 1/29/2026 at 11:52 PM, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

"I will die, but you shouldn't be worried either."

"That's... not particularly reassuring."

I thank Ashkaloda for stopping the violin "music".

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

On 1/28/2026 at 1:30 PM, Unintelligenius said:

Jerome ducks under his swing and swipes at his legs, hoping to slow his opponent down and immobilize him.

Bartholomew leaps backward, wary. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

On 1/31/2026 at 10:12 AM, Ashkaloda said:

Bartholomew leaps backward, wary. 

Jerome swiped at Bartholomew, stepped back, and glanced at Named to see what he was up to.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

 

I create an underground network of spies. One spy, Joe, steals the Sandwich and gives the Sandwich to me.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

2 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

I create an underground network of spies. One spy, Joe, steals the Sandwich and gives the Sandwich to me.

Another spy, me, steals the Sandwich and keeps it.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I disband the spy network, seek you with a machete, and quickly steal the Sandwich.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

3 minutes ago, NerdSandwich said:

I disband the spy network, seek you with a machete, and quickly steal the Sandwich.

Joe is angry at you for disbanding it and gathers the rest of the spies that you just effectively fired to lead an aggressive protesting campaign. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I apologize and immediately reinstate it. I appoint you as the new leader and retire.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

6 minutes ago, NerdSandwich said:

I disband the spy network, seek you with a machete, and quickly steal the Sandwich.

I make holding or owning machetes illegal and then point out that you have one and quickly get you arrested. I am awarded the Sandwich for my hard work.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I argue that I was only owning the machete before the law was made and am awarded the Sandwich.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

2 minutes ago, NerdSandwich said:

I apologize and immediately reinstate it. I appoint you as the new leader and retire.

I don't particularly want to be the leader of a spy network, and so disband it at once upon hearing of this. Joe and the rest react by leading an aggressive protesting campaign against me. Figures. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I bring you cookies and assure you that I understand your situation.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

1 minute ago, Ashkaloda said:

I don't particularly want to be the leader of a spy network, and so disband it at once upon hearing of this. Joe and the rest react by leading an aggressive protesting campaign against me. Figures. 

I reinstate the spy network but make Joe their leader.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

5 minutes ago, NerdSandwich said:

I bring you cookies and assure you that I understand your situation.

I accept the cookies graciously, forgetting entirely to check for spikes. I then demonstrate how to actually deal with protesters by ordering my legions of fish with legs to shut them down. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I applaud politely.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

17 hours ago, Unintelligenius said:

Jerome swiped at Bartholomew, stepped back, and glanced at Named to see what he was up to.

He was still lying there

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

17 hours ago, Unintelligenius said:

Jerome swiped at Bartholomew, stepped back, and glanced at Named to see what he was up to.

Bartholomew rushes forward as Jerome is momentarily distracted, stabbing at his chest.