The Battle for the Sandwich

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

46 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

Bartholomew rushes forward as Jerome is momentarily distracted, stabbing at his chest. 

I spawn in momentarily, Removing Bartholomew from reality for 2.5 minutes and placing him in interdimensional time-out.

Then I spawn out.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

2 minutes ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

I spawn in momentarily, Removing Bartholomew from reality for 2.5 minutes and placing him in interdimensional time-out.

Then I spawn out.

Clone grabs your spirit web and respawns you, only to lock you up in an SIM safe for interfering with the duel.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

I rapidly download everything that has ever existed on the internet, exploding the safe and downing a bag of popcorn filled with discarded sandwich crumbs in one gulp.

Yum.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

Just now, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

I rapidly download everything that has ever existed on the internet, exploding the safe and downing a bag of popcorn filled with discarded sandwich crumbs in one gulp.

Yum.

Clone tells you that the safe didn't actually break, because SIM (Strong Interaction Material) is stronger than that. In fact, it is the strongest synthetic material in the universe. A legion of pewter compounders wouldn't be able to make a scratch.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

5 minutes ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

I spawn in momentarily, Removing Bartholomew from reality for 2.5 minutes and placing him in interdimensional time-out.

Then I spawn out.

Luckily, the arena that the duel takes place in is within interdimensional timeout, and so the duel is unaffected. 

From the stands, I boo loudly your attempt at interference. 

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

Just now, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Clone tells you that the safe didn't actually break, because SIM (Strong Interaction Material) is stronger than that. In fact, it is the strongest synthetic material in the universe. A legion of pewter compounders wouldn't be able to make a scratch.

A legion of pewter compounders make a scratch on the safe just to spite you. 

Edited February 3 by Ashkaloda
Oop, sorry for the double post.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

Just now, Ashkaloda said:

Luckily, the arena that the duel takes place in is within interdimensional timeout, and so the duel is unaffected. 

From the stands, I boo loudly your attempt at interference. 

I use sonar waves to direct the boo back to you at x30000000 sound.

1 minute ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Clone tells you that the safe didn't actually break, because SIM (Strong Interaction Material) is stronger than that. In fact, it is the strongest synthetic material in the universe. A legion of pewter compounders wouldn't be able to make a scratch.

" Ah!... but that was my robot!" I scream as the sandwich crumbs' powers soak into my body. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

2 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

A legion of pewter compounders make a scratch on the safe just to spite you. 

Clone sighs and locks up all the pewter compounders in a massive SIM arena. 

"Last one standing gets to leave," he says as he shuts the safe door behind him.

Edit:

Just now, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

I use sonar waves to direct the boo back to you at x30000000 sound.

" Ah!... but that was my robot!" I scream as the sandwich crumbs' powers soak into my body. 

"Tell you what," Clone says. "If you correctly guess which pewter compounder will leave alive, I'll set you free."

Edited February 3 by KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

"That depends," I say as the crumb's power saturates my every molecule with pseudo-god powers, "which one do you like the least?" 

<Insert loud thunderclap completely unrelated to anything>

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

8 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Clone sighs and locks up all the pewter compounders in a massive SIM arena. 

"Last one standing gets to leave," he says as he shuts the safe door behind him.

Edit:

"Tell you what," Clone says. "If you correctly guess which pewter compounder will leave alive, I'll set you free."

Being very courteous and agreeable, 5119 pewter compounders promptly sit down so that one can leave without any blood needing to be shed. 

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

But it's too late!

Compounder 103 and Compounder 1499 accidentally squabble, and soon, a full massacre has begun. 

I blast off into the distance, cackling about the mess I have just made. I will continue to use my godlike powers for my own bidding. You cannot stop me, simpletons.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

24 minutes ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

"That depends," I say as the crumb's power saturates my every molecule with pseudo-god powers, "which one do you like the least?" 

<Insert loud thunderclap completely unrelated to anything>

"Compounder [forbidden numerals]."

18 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

Being very courteous and agreeable, 5119 pewter compounders promptly sit down so that one can leave without any blood needing to be shed. 

Clone applauds the Compounders.

10 minutes ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

But it's too late!

Compounder 103 and Compounder 1499 accidentally squabble, and soon, a full massacre has begun. 

I blast off into the distance, cackling about the mess I have just made. I will continue to use my godlike powers for my own bidding. You cannot stop me, simpletons.

Clone bonks you on the head with a black hole frying pan, which also eats all the bread crumbs and steals your powers.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

Just now, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Clone bonks you on the head with a black hole frying pan, which also eats all the bread crumbs and steals your powers.

"I had predicted this!" I had previously put on my custom-made black hole frying pan spray, so the frying pan instead hits you in the face, warping your facial features. Your eyeballs are now in your mouth.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

3 minutes ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

"I had predicted this!" I had previously put on my custom-made black hole frying pan spray, so the frying pan instead hits you in the face, warping your facial features. Your eyeballs are now in your mouth.

"Actually," Clone says, "My Author, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren, isn't physically here, so he can't be hit. Besides, the black hole is sentient and is named the maw 27. I am its friend and it knows not to consume me."

Clone bonks you again.

Edited February 3 by KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

At the mention of your name, I grab those words from the metaphysical speech bubble I made you speak, pulling you into existence and dropping you into the thrashing pit of pewter compounders.

Clone is left with a choice: save you, or continue to fail at getting me?

While you ponder this, I </ban> your frying pan.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

4 minutes ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

At the mention of your name, I grab those words from the metaphysical speech bubble I made you speak, pulling you into existence and dropping you into the thrashing pit of pewter compounders.

Clone is left with a choice: save you, or continue to fail at getting me?

While you ponder this, I </ban> your frying pan.

I, having manifested in this thread for the first time in a while, stretch my fingers and begin my work.

Clone.items.Maw_27 = true; //Brings back the Maw 27
Kaladist_The_Ketek_Writer.status.bonked = true; //Kaladist is now bonked
Clone.items.Maw_27.powers.breadcrumbs = 1000000; //The Maw 27 has very powerful breadcrumb abilities
PewterCompounders.splice(103,1); //Pewter Compounder 103 disappeared, and so there is no more conflict
KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren.physical_form = undefined; //I disappear

 

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

50 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

I, having manifested in this thread for the first time in a while, stretch my fingers and begin my work.

Clone.items.Maw_27 = true; //Brings back the Maw 27
Kaladist_The_Ketek_Writer.status.bonked = true; //Kaladist is now bonked
Clone.items.Maw_27.powers.breadcrumbs = 1000000; //The Maw 27 has very powerful breadcrumb abilities
PewterCompounders.splice(103,1); //Pewter Compounder 103 disappeared, and so there is no more conflict
KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren.physical_form = undefined; //I disappear

 

Your fingers stretch so much that they look like spaghetti noodles, and dangle limply from your hands. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

18 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

Your fingers stretch so much that they look like spaghetti noodles, and dangle limply from your hands. 

"He disappeared," Clone says, "So it doesn't really matter."

[Unintelligenius he/him]

3 hours ago, Ashkaloda said:

Bartholomew rushes forward as Jerome is momentarily distracted, stabbing at his chest. 

Jerome flares pewter and takes the hit right in the chest, but as he does so, he also stabs Bartholomew in the chest, hoping that he will be able to stay up longer because of his pewter.

 

 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

Named tentatively gets up to see if superviolet has healed him enough. He winces, but remains standing and begins drafting blue, green and orange to rebuild his armour. 

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

35 minutes ago, Unintelligenius said:

Jerome flares pewter and takes the hit right in the chest, but as he does so, he also stabs Bartholomew in the chest, hoping that he will be able to stay up longer because of his pewter.

 

 

 Bartholomew staggers backwards, silvery blood spreading from the wound. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

1 hour ago, Ashkaloda said:

 Bartholomew staggers backwards, silvery blood spreading from the wound. 

Jerome stepped back and slowly made his way over to Named, dagger out. With himself and Bartholomew severely wounded Named could make easy work of them if he didn't do anything about it.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

3 minutes ago, Unintelligenius said:

Jerome stepped back and slowly made his way over to Named, dagger out. With himself and Bartholomew severely wounded Named could make easy work of them if he didn't do anything about it.

Named is also severely wounded though! He can barely stand!

Named growls and hurls red luxin at Jerome. The force is too much for his weak legs, though, and he falls backwards.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

Bartholomew slumped against the sand, feeling lightheaded. Dizzily, he formed a patch on his chest out of Oobleck to control the blood loss. 

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

13 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

I, having manifested in this thread for the first time in a while, stretch my fingers and begin my work.

Clone.items.Maw_27 = true; //Brings back the Maw 27
Kaladist_The_Ketek_Writer.status.bonked = true; //Kaladist is now bonked
Clone.items.Maw_27.powers.breadcrumbs = 1000000; //The Maw 27 has very powerful breadcrumb abilities
PewterCompounders.splice(103,1); //Pewter Compounder 103 disappeared, and so there is no more conflict
KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren.physical_form = undefined; //I disappear

 

Ahhhhhh... but as you acknowledge my being for the first time, you realize.... I am the sandwich

At this realization, a paradox portal opens and swallows me up, and disappears instantly, dropping me off in a location that you cannot know the name of.