The Battle for the Sandwich

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

4 hours ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

Roshar realizes that emeralds are cool and decide to re-inflate the emerald broam's value, making the bounty 2387429836591863487523987159874619873615836982716398571639876 US dollars

Also the US dollars inflates to astronomical values, making the value 835620736509812365091879837510982375290834750924370589650983467098340982640981709847638478987989777777777772539857208342081506581346198450981645089361458136495816498674986134855609817408946708967*e25 British pounds.

However, thanks to inflation, that amount of British pounds is only enough to buy one grain of rice. 

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

The British value their rice greatly and decide to give me a discount for the rice because I gave each and every one of them a high five. I eat my rice, kick back, and relax as my money booms in the broken system called the US stock market.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

4 hours ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

Roshar realizes that emeralds are cool and decide to re-inflate the emerald broam's value, making the bounty 2387429836591863487523987159874619873615836982716398571639876 US dollars

Also the US dollars inflates to astronomical values, making the value 835620736509812365091879837510982375290834750924370589650983467098340982640981709847638478987989777777777772539857208342081506581346198450981645089361458136495816498674986134855609817408946708967*e25 British pounds.

I point out your horrid notation. We can just write that out as 8.356 E195 pounds. 

This error fixed, I go back to my sunny beach house and sleep for another few months.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

Just now, AltonicKeys said:

I point out your horrid notation. We can just write that out as 8.356 E195 pounds. 

This error fixed, I go back to my sunny beach house and sleep for another few months.

It begins to thunderstorm, and you are awoken and then subsequently struck by lightning because the lightning hates you because of a 70-year-long blood feud between your family and their lightning family.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

21 hours ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

Actually, I was in a banana costume, and who said that we ate the Sandwich? all we ate was a sandwich.

I bring the real Sandwich to my shop and sell it for 19.99 to Kaladin Stormblessed

I also put a 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 emerald broam bounty on your head.

I run off to scadrial where everyone praises me for pissing off the rosharans by not getting caught. They use their spy networks to find the Sandwich and give it to me.

54 minutes ago, AltonicKeys said:

I point out your horrid notation. We can just write that out as 8.356 E195 pounds. 

This error fixed, I go back to my sunny beach house and sleep for another few months.

hes back!!!!

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

An unnamed clone walks towards the centre of the crater where the arena once stood. There lay the white, metal-like chunk where Named was. It was shaped like a piece of rock cut into a roughly rod-like shape, with one end narrower than the other. The clone picked it up; oddly, it felt as heavy as a boulder and as light as a feather simultaneously.

The clone took a deep breath, then impaled the into his left eye.

The clone - Renamed - screamed, then began filling with luxin. His skin shone in every colour of the spectrum as liquid luxin leapt from his fingertips. He drafted so much, in fact, that the ground beneath him became mildly radioactive. 

It took a long minute for Renamed to stop. Then, a door appeared in front of him, and he walked through.

12 hours ago, Unintelligenius said:

I run off to scadrial where everyone praises me for pissing off the rosharans by not getting caught. They use their spy networks to find the Sandwich and give it to me.

hes back!!!!

The clone actually named Clone used his Titanean forces to infiltrate the Scadrian spy network. They then steal the sandwich and bring it to Clone.

Edited February 8 by KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren
Glitch

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

7 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

An unnamed clone walks towards the centre of the crater where the arena once stood. There lay the white, metal-like chunk where Named was. It was shaped like a piece of rock cut into a roughly rod-like shape, with one end narrower than the other. The clone picked it up; oddly, it felt as heavy as a boulder and as light as a feather simultaneously.

The clone took a deep breath, then impaled the into his left eye.

The clone - Renamed - screamed, then began filling with luxin. His skin shone in every colour of the spectrum as liquid luxin leapt from his fingertips. He drafted so much, in fact, that the ground beneath him became mildly radioactive. 

It took a long minute for Renamed to stop. Then, a door appeared in front of him, and he walked through.

The clone actually named Clone used his Titanean forces to infiltrate the Scadrian spy network. They then steal the sandwich and bring it to Clone.

I appear before you in a brilliant flash of light, because style. My brows furrow angrily. “The terms of the duel,” I say, “what is to come of them due to our synchronous defeat?”

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

1 hour ago, Ashkaloda said:

I appear before you in a brilliant flash of light, because style. My brows furrow angrily. “The terms of the duel,” I say, “what is to come of them due to our synchronous defeat?”

I begrudgingly manifest in front of you. "I guess no one rules the universe," I say. "For now, at least. Bartholomew and Jerome had never left this Thread, but Named had. There are others who must know of his passing. Renamed has gone to tell them."

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I steal the Sandwich by vanishing it and transform you into a shoe.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

19 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

I begrudgingly manifest in front of you. "I guess no one rules the universe," I say. "For now, at least. Bartholomew and Jerome had never left this Thread, but Named had. There are others who must know of his passing. Renamed has gone to tell them."

"You just unintentionally cloned yourself again," I point out helpfully. "I just appeared before you, and then you manifested in front of me, meaning there are two of you here. And I can accept remaining ruler of only Arrakis. It has been a pleasure dueling you; unfortunate that we should both have to suffer a loss." I bow dramatically. "Until we meet again." Whirling around, I stride away. A single paper flutters to the ground behind me. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

5 hours ago, Ashkaloda said:

"You just unintentionally cloned yourself again," I point out helpfully. "I just appeared before you, and then you manifested in front of me, meaning there are two of you here. And I can accept remaining ruler of only Arrakis. It has been a pleasure dueling you; unfortunate that we should both have to suffer a loss." I bow dramatically. "Until we meet again." Whirling around, I stride away. A single paper flutters to the ground behind me. 

I nod, and both forms of me disappear.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

6 hours ago, NerdSandwich said:

I steal the Sandwich by vanishing it and transform you into a shoe.

Jerome grabs the Sandwich and transforms you into a sock. Then puts you into a washing machine.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

I trade the sandwich Wayne-style and paste it into my clipboard, using CTRL-X.

I hide the Sandwich in a secret, special place in the Shard. Go and find it, if you dare. IT WAS RIGHT HERE

Edited February 9 by Kaladist The Ketek Writer

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

17 minutes ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

I trade the sandwich Wayne-style and paste it into my clipboard, using CTRL-X.

I hide the Sandwich in a secret, special place in the Shard. Go and find it, if you dare.

I find the sandwich in your About Me and scold you for removing it from the thread. The unintended consequences could be catastrophic. I revert time slightly such as to not break any rules and restore the sandwich to its rightful place. 

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

I bow in apology and suddenly begin to laugh as I tell you that that one was fake.

It's hidden somewhere else.

It's right here!

[Bones He/Him]

1 hour ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

It's hidden somewhere else.

For that somewhere else was your activity page. I grab it from there and give it to my pet chasmfiend, Larry.

Edited February 10 by Bones

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

No

Ah.... But it was all a dream! you have to bold your actions to do them!

I take the sandwich and kill your chasmfeind as I hide it somewhere else.

Edited February 10 by Kaladist The Ketek Writer

[Bones He/Him]

Larry did not eat the sandwich for he never had the sandwich. The sandwich Larry had a and illusion. While you were distracted by Larry, I put multiple lashings on three sandwiches (one of which is real). One is going West. One is going East. One is Going North. I am going South and also appear to have a sandwich.

Edited February 10 by Bones

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

Ah.... But it was all a dream! you have to bold your actions to do them!

I stash the sandwich in YET ANOTHER PLACE ON THE SHARD

[Bones He/Him]

1 minute ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

you have to bold your actions to do them

Thank you

I take the sandwich from your instagram and give it to my other pet chasmfiend, Larry's angry mother.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

17 minutes ago, Bones said:

I take the sandwich from your instagram and give it to my other pet chasmfiend, Larry's angry mother.

I congratulate you and you and Larry's mother are so surprised that you drop the sandwich and cease to exist. I grab the sandwich and, once again, put it on top of that hill- with a twist.

Edited February 10 by Kaladist The Ketek Writer

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

26 minutes ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

I congratulate you and you and Larry's mother are so surprised that you drop the sandwich and cease to exist. I grab the sandwich and, once again, put it on top of that hill- with a twist.

I own the hill. Not super relevant, but just saying. 

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

I offer to buy the hill from you for some fried chicken

[Bones He/Him]

I eat the fried chicken and apply several lashings to the sandwich in an upward direction.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

3 minutes ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

I offer to buy the hill from you for some fried chicken

I offer not to blast your head off for some fried chicken.