What would you do if you found in your pocket

[Trutharchivist he/him]

Pour it down the throat of a nearby skull.

WWYDIYF a talking butterfly that references random pieces of literature IYP?

[The Stormfather He/Him]

Obviously feed it to a nearby maniacal hamster.

WWYDIYF a gerbil that spends 200000000$ on wooden snakes a day, and always eats them.

[Lunamor she/her]

Wonder how I know that information.

WWYDIYF a partridge in a pear tree in your pocket?

[The Stormfather He/Him]

I would throw the tree at the partridge and eat the pear.

WWYDIYF a snake that ate your hamster and transformed it into anti-stormlight?

[Faerie Braids she/her]

Throw a sphere full of stormlight at it, from a very safe distance.

WWYDIYF a candle in your pocket?

[Lunamor she/her]

Light it and use it to roast a mini marshmallow.

WWYDIYF a ring of fire in your pocket?

[Soulbinder she/her]

Fall down, down, down, as the flames get higher.

WWYDIYF a Perry the Inaction Figure?

[Lunamor she/her]

Give it a fedora.

WWYDIYF a pair of high heels in your pocket?

[Faerie Braids she/her]

Try them on, cackle at my newfound fashion and height, then fall over, most likely.

WWYDIYF a raccoon in your pocket?

[Through the living jeff he/him(straight)]

Chuck it as far away from myself as possible… or feed it vast amounts of sugar

WWYDIYF a Roman army in your poscket?

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Panic, most likely. Otherwise convince them to attack someone.

WWYDIYF a live squid in your pocket?

[Ookla she/her]

Hurry and get it into the nearest body of water.

WWYDIYF a miniature heron-mark sword in your pocket?

[LightRinger he/him]

Heat it up and burn my hand with it. 
 

WWYDIYF a plastic taco in your pocket?

[Lunamor she/her]

Get hit with a wave of incredible nostalgia (I loved plastic food toys when I was little).

WWYDIYF the answer to life, the universe, and everything in your pocket?

[Faerie Braids she/her]

Put it back where it belongs, because that is assuredly not my pocket.

WWYDIYF a kilogram of sugar in your pocket?

[Lunamor she/her]

Try to eat some.

WWYDIYF a candy cane in your pocket?

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Boil it in orange juice.

WWYDIYF an Indian from the cupboard in your pocket? (i completely forgot about that book oh my gosh *3rd grade vibes*)

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

(I think I watched the movie, but I’m not sure)

I would give them a place to live

WWYDIYF the bear from the opening of Skyrim in your pocket?

[Lunamor she/her]

Get eaten, probably, but gain a level in light armor at the same time.

WWYDIYF a basketball signed by Michael Jordan in your pocket?

[Ookla she/her]

Give it to a Michael Jordan fan. (I am not a sports fan, unless Irish dance counts as a sport.)

WWYDIYF an angry leprechaun in your pocket?

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

Ask where his pot of gold is.

WWYDIYF a cursed doubloon in your pocket?

[Lunamor she/her]

Bite it to make sure it’s legit.

WWYDIYF an iPod in your pocket?

[Ookla she/her]

Put some music on it.

WWYDIYF a knife made of grass in your pocket?

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Burn it and spread its ashes across my yard.

WWYDIYF Vincent van Gogh's Starry Night in your pocket?

[Scars of Hathsin he/him]

Sell it for money... To buy books

WWYDIYF a spike in your pocket