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Immortal Platypus

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Everything posted by Immortal Platypus

  1. Immortal Platypus
    Conveniently, my sandwich is exactly 0.0001 cubic millimeters and impossibly slippery to anyone or anything except me to hold on to or take in any way, shape, or form. I pull it from Nerdy and hide it in my fur. I give a "You fools, you'll never get it now" speech as I float off instead of running so I can't be tripped.
  2. Immortal Platypus
    Yep. Congrats Telrao
  3. Immortal Platypus
    I'm just gonna keep thinking about the riddle while ya'll do LOTR rp. I'll solve it eventually.
  4. Immortal Platypus
    gets my AP human geography homework inserts magically unmagical glasses
  5. Immortal Platypus
    @NerdyAarakocraOh no you don't. That's another rick roll. I still won't look at either.
  6. Immortal Platypus
    congrats @NerdyAarakocra, that is probably a good idea. I'll try to get us there.
  7. Immortal Platypus
    Maybe. It changes quickly. Too late. The kitty escaped
  8. Immortal Platypus
    sorry. kitties before Wizards
  9. Immortal Platypus
    I stab Wizard with a lightsaber so the kitty can escape.
  10. Immortal Platypus
    gets a parshman inserts a magic pocket watch
  11. Immortal Platypus
    When I open what? Do you mean the totally a rick roll spoiler boxes? You told me not to do that and so I didn't.
  12. Immortal Platypus
    I know @AesSedai318 irl and that was just her being intentionally confused, it's not your fault and there isn't something to be sorry about except holding the answer over our heads. She's like that a lot.
  13. Immortal Platypus
    *Breaks laws of life and duplicates sandwich* *Breaks laws of life again and eats original* *Replaces original with duplicate* "Wait, what type of sandwich is this? I just realized I never knew. And my idea was to sue the person with the sandwich for trespassing in your territory (the ocean). I know, it's genius."
  14. Immortal Platypus
    He is a statue. Dah Dah Dah!!!
  15. Immortal Platypus
    I still think old age was a good guess. A wrong guess, perhaps, but good.
  16. Immortal Platypus
    Gets a movie the world never wanted. *inserts a piece of hard candy*
  17. Immortal Platypus
    "I don't own the ocean, I control all waters which is my right as the last immortal platypus. But you are right that the Sovereign state of Post-Russian Federation Kamchatka was transferred to me as compensation, along with all the lakes within US boundaries. You can own them, I just control them. I simply wanted to know if they were still in the ocean so I could steal the sandwich." (Lots and lots and lots of nerd emojis) "Oh, @Sequence, do you want to hear a great idea to get the sandwich and then share it? I have a great idea. We'll split it 55% to you, 45% to me. Sound agreeable?"
  18. Immortal Platypus
    I try out a "You Fools" speech and love it. "I want a different sandwich. I don't want a toasted sandwich. Are you in the ocean now? 'Cause I control the ocean and you never said you left."
  19. Immortal Platypus
    Why did you tell them? That was really funny watching them, knowing they didn't know that. We had a good thing going.
  20. Immortal Platypus
    I'm nice and push the muscle so it fixes. Reverse operations!!
  21. Immortal Platypus
    Now, I'm no writer and this doesn't apply this early, but I personally love to introduce new characters and either have them leave soon after people start getting attached, or kill them off right after people get used to them. I'm starting a short story and I'm going to kill of the main character.
  22. Immortal Platypus
    "I didn't buy the jet bucko, I only used it by hijacking it. Plus I used your identity, so it's your crippling debt and bad credit and the police are on their way to arrest you for hijacking a plane." I shrug of my illusionary disguise of Mr. Misting and pull a Gandalf after teleporting before ya'll and stop you all in your tracks with a, "You shall not pass!" I then take the pickle and eat it.
  23. Immortal Platypus
    I understand how some see it as beautiful. It just isn't for platypi.
  24. Immortal Platypus
    "You fool! Your thug took the wrong sandwich," I yell at Mr. Misting. You have destroyed the real sandwich! It is gone! Unless... I know!" *Faint wisps of steam come off my body. Suddenly, the continium breaks again as I duplicate my soul and use the duplicated soul to pay for the power to reach into non-reality through a continium crack and bring the sandwich, fully restored, back into reality. As the duplicate soul dissapears, continium fixes and everything is okay.* "You're welcome world. I have saved the sandwich. Can you stop bullying me now? Please?" P.S. Mr. Misting, I'm still "very extremely handsome". I always was, you just saw my platypus disguise. My true appearance makes everyone love me and adore me too much. If you've read DragonWatch, it is like (Spoiler for book five)
  25. Immortal Platypus
    "But you fell for my trap. The sketchy uber driver was my servant! You might not have ever had the real sandwich. The driver takes his hands of the wheel and shoots you in the foot so you yell in pain and drop the sandwiches and your identification and passport. He takes them and gives them back to me after dumping you out of the car 30 miles away." "What kind of lunch did you expect me to get?!!!!! That's a lot of lunch money, if you can buy 8 private jets." Having kept some of the lunch money, and having Mr. Misting's identification and passport, I change my appearance to look exactly like him, hop on one of his 8 private jets and take of.
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