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The Technovore

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Everything posted by The Technovore

  1. The Technovore
    The 8th waffle flavor was the creation of the Great Waffle, the inexorable force that threatened to destroy humanity. When the Creator made the world he bound the Great Waffle in Don’kies Stumack.
  2. The Technovore
    Granted, you are now a fullborn with a ton of bendalloy in your pockets. You are also now permanently bound to be the Knife, arch-nemesis of the Great Waffle. Every time you die, you are reborn. Every time you fail, you start from the beginning. Every time you suceed, the Great Waffle returns. You must master your powers and seal the Waffle in Don’kies Stumack, or weep as you witness the world burn. Your journey begins now.
  3. The Technovore
    He enjoyed waffles, just as he enjoyed waffle-loving donkeys. Something about their diet just made the meat so juicy!
  4. The Technovore
    If comedy wrote sanderson, he would be amazing at writing but everytime he printed out a manuscript for publishing it met some horrible fate and his printer would be possessed by a demon. And his computer would be hilariously losing his files in catastrophic crashes.
  5. The Technovore
  6. The Technovore
    As it turned out, as powerful and swole as the mimes were, their power levels were far too low for this universe.
  7. The Technovore
    Because the ghanderflaffle empire was rising.
  8. The Technovore
    A mime cracked their knuckles menacingly.
  9. The Technovore
    The older kids that paid attention to the news and most of the other teachers were rather alarmed at the unexplained attraction toward the scary Mistborn man.
  10. The Technovore
    Much to the headmaster’s chagrin, they often compared the smoothness of his Soothing to the smoothness of his hecka bald head.
  11. The Technovore
    He executed Harry Potter to destroy his Horcrux, thus saving Hogwarts from 7 years of attacks, bloodshed, and annoying teenage antics. He also tasked Ravenclaw with creating a Death Eater tracker, with the promise of 3 years of house cups should they succeed. Kelsier didn’t mess around when it came to tasking out serial killers.
  12. The Technovore
    But then Harry Potter walked into the room. And Snape wasn’t headmaster.
  13. The Technovore
  14. The Technovore
    Bang. Bam. Swoosh. 3 points!
  15. The Technovore
  16. The Technovore
    Their absolute bad radness was so extreme that heavy metal rock music played in the background everywhere they went. The wickedness of their background music intensified proportionally with their legendary reputation.
  17. The Technovore
    Sounds Of Odium’s Screams. Tanavast owned all their merchandise. So did Hoid. So did most people in the Cosmere. They were very popular.
  18. The Technovore
    If I’m going to be burnt with flaming fleshhooks for a thousand years I should at least be able to decide what name humanity calls me! Various breeds of chicken. The nail-biting blacksmith. Inkspren’s parchment.
  19. The Technovore
    Until it got WOB torpedo’d this theory had me convinced this was the secret plot twist everyone missed. Have an upvote! Being wrong aside this is really good! ;P
  20. The Technovore
    Johnny stumbled downstairs, numbly positioned a chair behind him, and collapsed into it. Smoke still filled the room, but thanks to him, Malu, and that other guy that had stormed in, the inn was still standing. Sort of. Johnny had gotten upstairs right as flames started cropping up from the smoking floorboards. Johnny watched a clump of foam drip from the ceiling and smiled dully. He’d won his battle. Sort of. The front door was on the floor. Gashes of char decorated everywhere the maniac had stood. Two thick pillars of chalk held up the roof, since one of the supporting pillars was now in two pieces on the floor, still smoking. The ceiling was black, tables and chairs lay in shattered heaps on the floor, and he couldn’t even see to the other end of the room. He coughed into his shirt, his eyes stinging. Strange how he just now noticed the effects of the smoke. The adrenaline must be wearing off. Which meant he had only a few minutes of conciousness left. Johnny looked at Malu, suddenly feeling extremely drowsy. Poor man. This morning business was booming, and now all that attention’s just brought him this. Is this what happens to every high profile place in this city? Everything’s going great until some nut storms in and makes a mess? At least he’s de— Where’s the body? There was no body. Johnny looked again at the downtrodden faces in the room. He escaped?! Specks! What’s stopping him from coming back in the dead hours of the night now? Johnny slumped in his chair, quickly falling asleep. The last thing he saw was Malu downing a clay jug of some kind of alcohol. He seemed to wince slightly before wiping his mouth. Must be strong stuff. He sagged onto the bar and took another swig. Johnny faded fast. His mind slipped away, voices and shouts overlapping as he began to sleep. Over all the noise, a quiet voice stood out. Help them Johnny... Help them...
  21. The Technovore
    *Airhorn noises* *Jay is carried away by a bunch of dudes going “oooohhhhhh!”*
  22. The Technovore
    Unfortunately Desmond had an incredibly vivid imagination due a childhood spent on an oil rig. Desmond cried. Loudly. In the middle of a supermarket. While pointing directly at Jay.
  23. The Technovore
    In the distance, deer raised their heads and birds scattered as the forest’s peace was shattered by the screams of an Ocean Princcess that had just kicked an iron girder.
  24. The Technovore
    If Korg the Iron Girder had a mouth, he would also be screaming. Falling from the ceiling onto someone’s head when you’re an iron girder and they’re squishy is not a pleasant experience.
  25. The Technovore
    Korg the Iron Girder, however, was so not fine with it he fell on the consort’s head and killed him dead.
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