The Technovore

and punish the crimes

It struck an alliance with the Limes.

Granted. Fear its awesome might!! You now have two hearts. With no other physiological adaptations, your blood pressure is going to go through the roof. Have fun with your nation-of-residence's healthcare system. I wish to know what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.

The sandwich tapped A-pewter, and poor Kell broke his jaw on its toughened slices.

Granted. You receive the exact fantasy pet you wanted, and all the wealth, materials, and knowhow associated to care for it. The Nightwatcher is feeling generous today. Your bane is that you are now Marked by the Famished One. You will be hunted by every last nightmare the collective consciousnesses of the omniverse have ever conceived, given physical form. Tall monsters, undying monsters, monsters that stalk your dreams, monsters that prowl on your electronic devices, monsters stare from the pictures, monsters that wish to drag you into their own dark, twisted domains designed to break your mind long before your body expires. Some want your flesh, some want your sanity, some want your soul. They will all hunt you until you or they are defeated. You and your fantasy pet of choice will either die quickly, or become the greatest ghostbuster duo the omniverse has ever seen. Good luck. I wish for a nice PC.

Aahhh, right, that makes sense

Now that's interesting, why do you say that? F-Gold compounding can make someone survive multiple bullets, and F-steel can turn people into blurs of motion. I'm curious about your stance there. You know, there was another Scadrial vs Roshar post that got hotly debated, and I believe it mostly ended with "Scadrial would win because Kandra would wreak havoc on Rosharan command structure.", but obviously several books for both worlds have been published by then. I believe Iron-compounding as a WMD was mentioned there, which I find intriguing. Wouldn't it be possible to create ettmettal-iron cylinders a-la GI Joe to create mass destruction? I guess that's assuming windrunners wouldn't intercept and lash it into the sky... I'm rambling, I'll stop.

Granted. Says the new voice inside your head. It laughs cheerily. It laughs for an unnervingly long time. Your bane is... well... you'll find that out soon. I wish for a million wishes.

The mods had good relations with the Ghanderflaffles, and readily signed the declaration.

Granted. The internet forever despises you because their hive-mind peanut-brains cannot comprehend your wisdom, but you have the money to be able to shrug off their hatred of you. You begin developing a plan to escape this tiny ape-infested world and cultivate a new, highly-intelligent society on mars. First, you just need to terraform it... Perhaps by selling electric cars you can fund your expedition? Your bane is that despite your overwhelming genius you will periodically feel an overwhelming urge to taunt the masses by posting inane opinions on the internet, further riling them up. Before your mission is complete you must walk the tightrope of wisdom and folly, lest the masses rise up and destroy you. I wish for Sanderson to have long years, free of disease and disability, that he might successfully complete the Cosmere.

Because the Ghanderflaffle empire was rising.

Butt Venture of course represented the Mars Coalition, while Thad represented the Ferrero Faction. Things were going swimmingly until...

Thad T Smokeer decided one day that he was going to visit them all. Just as soon as he ended the Chocolate Wars.

49,321,777,422 non-canon Cosmere planets to be precise.

It rose so high it finally broke through the chains of time and chaos to realize.... This entire narrative is taking place on a non-canon world in the Cosmere.

I saw that setup And they found the concept of Thick-ittm frankly horrifying.

Because the Ghanderflaffle empire was rising.

But it all changed when the scientists at Ferrero Roche found a way to make Thick-ittm into a combustible comestible.

Their combined strength quickly overwhelmed both Hershey and Willy Wonka.

It started with a three-pronged assault on Hershey, Pennsylvania.

The Cult of of the 3 Musketeers defeated them through a clever smear campaign and planted evidence.

This was fine because their bodies had no blood.

This had disastrous consequences for the Cult of Mars Bars

Granted, you are given one(1) copy of "Biff and Tim's Tremendous Excursion". It is clearly a movie from an another reality, and is actually pretty good. You are then handed a small book full of Diagram-esque predictions. They contain instructions on how to slowly build rumors for a secret and rare bootleg "Bill and Ted" that is better than the original, before selling it to collectors for an obscene amount of money. However, your bane is that you can never tie a knot again. I wish for this dang headache to go away.

It totally lodged in his esophagus and he like completely got rekted!!!!