Awesome Calamity Giveaway

Quick Question: April 30th is in 9 days, so does the contest end then, or in 3 weeks?

Bad Simile: Playing Sanderson Elimination is like being food on a young kid's plate when his parents are making him eat everything.

No, see, it totally makes sense! The tasty foods are the players like Meta, who everyone likes, and they always get eaten, or killed, first. Some of the less tasty items survive by sneaking away into a pocket, or on the floor, and manage to survive through inactivity. And in the end, anything left over gets thrown away, just like the spiked in the Anniversary Games.

Bullets in bullet time are like toothpicks through jello.

Posting a new theory is like painting over a really bad picture. At first, the picture feels good because it's all shiny and people like it, but then someone notices the paint flaking, and everyone tears the paint off and the picture feels bad again. 

Let me put you  into context...

I'm walking on a hot day in Newcago with my dad and we see a dog sitting and waiting for his master to return.

-That dog looks sad, I wonder how long he's been waiting there (My Dad says)

-you know, It's like when you climb a tree while eating an apple, but then you drop it and you can't get it because it's to far. (I say)

-...What?!

-Well, you know, when you climb a tree with a apple in your hands, it's difficult, (and I'm telling you this by experience) so it takes patience, like the dog. And at the beginning you don't mind it taking some time because you're determined to accomplish your goal. But them when you drop your apple, you get sad and you wait until someone finds you waiting and bring you your apple, and in this case, bring you home

-that makes no sense at all...

-Yes it does!

Winning the Dodo Award is like finishing first in an ultramarathon: everyone wants to do it, but no one wants to do the prerequisites.

Actually, that might be too fitting.

Let me try again.

A write-up is like the Honorable Mention prizes in a competition.

If you hear your name, you messed up.

This contest is bound to cause mass hysteria, like a group of badgers fighting over a sausage egg McMuffin.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something

Let's face it, the odds of me winning this are about as terrible as kazoos in an orchestra. 

Megan's damp hair glistened in the sun like nose hairs after a sneeze.

Are non-US Sharders allowed to try as well?

Trying to come up with a metaphor is like being attacked by a drunk hippo.

You only discover how rubbish you are at it once you're already doing it.

The Reckoners RP is a lot like a horde of vampire bunnies discovering a carrot farm.

It totally makes sense! It looks horrifying from the outside, with way too many supernatural beings that keep multiplying in number (literally in the case of the Financier), and yet has a surprising amount of cute animals!

Reading Brandon Sanderson is like having a birthday, it's amazing while it lasts, but then it ends suddenly and leaves you waiting for the next one.

Re-reading Calamity is like navigating through your house with all the lights off...You think you know where everything is, then you stub your toe on the kitchen table.

Brandon Sanderson is like a white Ninja! I mean, Ninja's are really cool, but they're hard to see cause they're black, so Brandon is White because we all see his stuff!

Going to school is like having a nightmare.

Every time you think you safe another semester starts.

I need the swag packs like a sports player needs scissors - with how active they are, they must be sweating a ton, sweat getting in their eyes and all. It would be so handy for them to have a pair of scissors on hand, cut a piece of their uniform, and use it as a handkerchief! Makes you wonder why they don't have people running around the fields, handing scissors to players, it really does...

I felt like a squished banana in the hands of a hungry baboon.

David's metaphors are like flying seahorses carrying swimming seagulls. Just wrong.

Quick Question: April 30th is in 9 days, so does the contest end then, or in 3 weeks?

Haha, this is what happens when you wait a week or so before posting the information. I've gotten that fixed.

Are we suppose to come up with specifically a bad metaphor or are bad similes acceptable?

METAPHOR ... (1) All figures of speech that achieve their effect through association, comparison, and resemblance. Figures like antithesis, hyperbole, metonymy, simile are all species of metaphor.

-Concise Oxford Companion to the English Language | 1998 | TOM McARTHUR

http://www.encyclopedia.com/topic/metaphor.aspx#4

This doesn't appear to be a widely accepted belief anymore (probably because we were all taught in elementary school that they are distinct) but there are some interesting articles in this link about the history of metaphors.

Trying to make a good roleplay is like trying to shove a tuba down a monkey's throat.

Getting my little brother to stop playing video games and do something productive is just as bad as building a wall out of moldy hamburger buns on a windy day.

... because going to the doctor afterward is inevitable. It's also totally useless and impossible.

Sanderson books are like math tests, there full of suprises.

This contest is like a donut wearing battle armor. It's a great image, but the hordes will soon descend upon it and devour it.