Certified Gay Disasters

[6 7 ✾ She♡Her ✾]

26 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

Drawing time :3

i still suck

YYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAY

I BELIEVE IN YOU VERDE

A DRAWING A DAY IMPROVES YOUR SKILL BUT ONLY IN MAY

 

has anyone seen a GIF that I can't seem to find but is very similar to this?
 

Spoiler

https://tenor.com/view/menhera-chan-cute-mood-anime-gif-15994480

 

Edited March 23 by Through The Living Girl

[Verdance he/him]

23 minutes ago, Through The Living Girl said:

YYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAY

I BELIEVE IN YOU VERDE

A DRAWING A DAY IMPROVES YOUR SKILL BUT ONLY IN MAY

“I before E… always”

[two minutes later]

“AND ON WEEKENDS AND HOLIDAYS AND ALL THROUGHOUT MAY, AND YOU’LL ALWAYS BE WRONG NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY”

———

also i done glanced at the “gender dysphoria bible” and basically what it’s saying is everyone is secretly trans so i feel disrespected tbh

but idk maybe im reading it wrong it just seems like its taking universal parts of human existence and telling me that im trans because im human

hmmm apologies

[6 7 ✾ She♡Her ✾]

2 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

“I before E… always”

[two minutes later]

“AND ON WEEKENDS AND HOLIDAYS AND ALL THROUGHOUT MAY, AND YOU’LL ALWAYS BE WRONG NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY”

———

also i done glanced at the “gender dysphoria bible” and basically what it’s saying is everyone is secretly trans so i feel disrespected tbh

but idk maybe im reading it wrong it just seems like its taking universal parts of human existence and telling me that im trans because im human

hmmm apologies

I mean...

I think it says it doesn't necessarily mean someone's trans, and that some of the "symptoms" can be from depression or other stuff.

But also that depression can also be from dysphoria.

So idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Verdance he/him]

3 minutes ago, Through The Living Girl said:

I mean...

I think it says it doesn't necessarily mean someone's trans, and that some of the "symptoms" can be from depression or other stuff.

But also that depression can also be from dysphoria.

So idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yeah but like the description of dysphoria seems to be so broad that it describes literally anyone that isnt a narcissist or insane

“a feeling of wrongness intrinsic to the self”

that’s called life, we live in a broken world with bodies that feel pain, get sick, and die. Additionally, we will never feel satisfied with ourselves if we chase after making ourselves happy. The absolute closest thing to universal happiness i have found outside religion is altruism. 
idk, i dont mean to disrespect any of yall or diminish your experiences… but i felt disrespected by this thing thats trying to tell me im someone im not

Edited March 23 by Through The Living Grass

[6 7 ✾ She♡Her ✾]

3 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

Yeah but like the description of dysphoria seems to be so broad that it describes literally anyone that isnt a narcissist or insane

“a feeling of wrongness intrinsic to the self”

that’s called life, we live in a broken world with bodies that feel pain, get sick, and die. Additionally, we will never feel satisfied with ourselves if we chase after making ourselves happy. The absolute closest thing to universal happiness i have found outside religion is altruism. 
idk, i dont mean to disrespect any of yall or diminish your experiences… but i felt disrespected by this thing thats trying to tell me im someone im not

ok, well take it as you will ig. (edit: wait is that the right phrase?)

sorry you felt disrespected.

Edited March 23 by Through The Living Girl

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Through The Living Girl said:

ok, well take it as you will ig.

sorry you felt disrespected.

Im sorry im being a jerk

[6 7 ✾ She♡Her ✾]

30 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

Im sorry im being a jerk

I mean.. I'm not gonna say you're being one because to me I don't view it as that. But also perhaps tone it down?

I kinda get what you're saying, though, about it saying "everyone" is trans.

At least parts of it, idk.

But also that's kinda one of my doubts, because if all the signs I rely on to validate me as trans are just common things people that people with ADHD/depression/anxiety/people in general also experience, then it kinda feels invalidating. Like sometimes I tell some of these stuff to a person I know IRL and they're like "oh yeah, me too" and inside I go "oh." Because maybe they're trying to make me feel better by letting me know I'm not the only one going through/feeling something, or maybe just relating, but sometimes I just question if my foundation is solid.

I mean.. I'm confident I'm trans even when doubting but that's because I remember all the signs and everything validating. Idk.

So yeah.

I'm not necessarily saying you've been invalidating.. but yeah idk.

[Hmmm lies she/her]

48 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

Yeah but like the description of dysphoria seems to be so broad that it describes literally anyone that isnt a narcissist or insane

“a feeling of wrongness intrinsic to the self”

So, what I'd propose is that not all dysphoria is gender dysphoria. There's plenty of other things to feel dysphoria about besides gender, and gender isn't going to be the cause of all of these "feelings of wrongness".

[Verdance he/him]

18 minutes ago, Through The Living Girl said:

I mean.. I'm not gonna say you're being one because to me I don't view it as that. But also perhaps tone it down?

I kinda get what you're saying, though, about it saying "everyone" is trans.

At least parts of it, idk.

But also that's kinda one of my doubts, because if all the signs I rely on to validate me as trans are just common things people that people with ADHD/depression/anxiety/people in general also experience, then it kinda feels invalidating. Like sometimes I tell some of these stuff to a person I know IRL and they're like "oh yeah, me too" and inside I go "oh." Because maybe they're trying to make me feel better by letting me know I'm not the only one going through/feeling something, or maybe just relating, but sometimes I just question if my foundation is solid.

I mean.. I'm confident I'm trans even when doubting but that's because I remember all the signs and everything validating. Idk.

So yeah.

I'm not necessarily saying you've been invalidating.. but yeah idk.

I’m really sorry, maybe this wasn’t the time to try and understand better, cause it’s both confusing me and making me feel uncomfortable and making me honestly say things that are kind of rude to yall.

11 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

So, what I'd propose is that not all dysphoria is gender dysphoria. There's plenty of other things to feel dysphoria about besides gender, and gender isn't going to be the cause of all of these "feelings of wrongness".

Maybe. Not my expertise tbh.

[6 7 ✾ She♡Her ✾]

38 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

I’m really sorry, maybe this wasn’t the time to try and understand better, cause it’s both confusing me and making me feel uncomfortable and making me honestly say things that are kind of rude to yall.

Maybe. Not my expertise tbh.

So maybe take a step away or something.

Would that be something good?

 

Spoiler

Also guys I accidentally misgendered myself like twice but kinda?

 

Edited March 23 by Through The Living Girl

[Verdance he/him]

20 minutes ago, Through The Living Girl said:

So maybe take a step away or something.

Would that be something good?

 

  Hide contents

Also guys I accidentally misgendered myself like twice but kinda?

 

Yeah idk its fine just trying to reconcile two opposing forces in me. Idk, maybe. I overreact to things a lot.

[6 7 ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Through The Living Grass said:

Yeah idk its fine just trying to reconcile two opposing forces in me. Idk, maybe. I overreact to things a lot.

Yeah, it's fine. Maybe journal/write about it if you want, especially if expressing it here wouldn't be that good.

But you could also express it here as long as it's not like rude? Idk.

Maybe.

I also don't always know what other people will define as okay or not okay so I sometimes have an opinion but sometimes that gets confused with everyone else's so I have no opinion so

I truly don't know what to tell you, I'm sorry. I hope this doesn't sound rude (I said something similar to someone in the past, and they were offended) but I honestly don't know whether I should tell you not to keep saying what you have been or whether to encourage it or say to tone it down or say it's fine or say it's not or say to idk. yeah.

basically

uhh yeah.

so maybe journal or continue talking here if you feel like that would be okay (with us?)

 

damn since when did I unfollow CGD?

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Through The Living Girl said:

Yeah, it's fine. Maybe journal/write about it if you want, especially if expressing it here wouldn't be that good.

But you could also express it here as long as it's not like rude? Idk.

Maybe.

I also don't always know what other people will define as okay or not okay so I sometimes have an opinion but sometimes that gets confused with everyone else's so I have no opinion so

I truly don't know what to tell you, I'm sorry. I hope this doesn't sound rude (I said something similar to someone in the past, and they were offended) but I honestly don't know whether I should tell you not to keep saying what you have been or whether to encourage it or say to tone it down or say it's fine or say it's not or say to idk. yeah.

basically

uhh yeah.

so maybe journal or continue talking here if you feel like that would be okay (with us?)

Idk sometimes change hurts

its okay for me to recognize that I have a lot of preconceived notions that aren’t necessarily true and to be more accepting. Idk,its not that big of a deal

thank you for being gracious and patient with me

[6 7 ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Through The Living Grass said:

Idk sometimes change hurts

its okay for me to recognize that I have a lot of preconceived notions that aren’t necessarily true and to be more accepting. Idk,its not that big of a deal

thank you for being gracious and patient with me

Yes, change hurts, but it's great to be willing to change in the first place.

it kinda sounds like a big deal, especially to you

you're welcome, I just want to help

[Verdance he/him]

2 minutes ago, Through The Living Girl said:

Yes, change hurts, but it's great to be willing to change in the first place.

it kinda sounds like a big deal, especially to you

Myeh, yes, i don’t live in a place that would affirm anything like this at all, and they would basically treat you like you were mentally ill. So that’s just great

but honestly i dont wanna talk about it and im maybe hijacking this thread now so imma just do what ive done up to this point (its not been hard to just be nice) 

and probably go do something else

[Hmmm lies she/her]

Guess who had a small mental crisis last night and now discovered a new facet of her identity~ :3

[6 7 ✾ She♡Her ✾]

2 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Guess who had a small mental crisis last night and now discovered a new facet of her identity~ :3

hey girl same

i think

[Hmmm lies she/her]

Last night, (I'll give more details later) I discovered that I seem to be grayromantic (for those unfamiliar, it's a space in-between aromantic and alloromantic)

@Through The Living Coder, you're aromantic, yes? (I hope I didn't misremember) I'd like anything you can tell me about that experience, as well as anyone else on the aro spectrum

Edit: @Rynturning_Light

Edited March 23 by Hmmm lies

[6 7 ✾ She♡Her ✾]

4 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Last night, (I'll give more details later) I discovered that I seem to be grayromantic (for those unfamiliar, it's a space in-between aromantic and alloromantic)

@Through The Living Coder, you're aromantic, yes? (I hope I didn't misremember) I'd like anything you can tell me about that experience, as well as anyone else on the aro spectrum

Edit: @Rynturning_Light

*gets flashbacks*

I went through, like, exactly this

@Akimikoisthecutest too

I think

 

 

 

guys what the veil is wrong with me, I keep misgendering or almost deadnaming myself

maybe because I've been done it and also because of the recent mental events

[Aeoryi she/her]

HRT appointment went well... next one in a few weeks

[Verdance he/him]

1 hour ago, Hmmm lies said:

Last night, (I'll give more details later) I discovered that I seem to be grayromantic (for those unfamiliar, it's a space in-between aromantic and alloromantic)

@Through The Living Coder, you're aromantic, yes? (I hope I didn't misremember) I'd like anything you can tell me about that experience, as well as anyone else on the aro spectrum

Edit: @Rynturning_Light

What is Alloromantic? 

[SpartanBrigade He/Him]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Grass said:

What is Alloromantic? 

What most folks are

Experiencing romantic love and crushes and such

Not Aro essentially

[6 7 ✾ She♡Her ✾]

27 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

HRT appointment went well... next one in a few weeks

das good uwu

what'd they ask?

 

—

Spoiler

I kind of feel fake like everything I say or have said is just what people have told me I need/want/like. Does anyone else feel like that? Like people just tell me what to do and I listen, or they tell me what I like and I agree. Sometimes I say it, but then I lose interest in something or maybe didn't ever like it but keep up the act because... it's better that way? Like I was questioning last year if I even liked the things that everyone associates with me—math, coding, d&d, etc.

I probably like them but then sometimes when someone asks me why I like or what I like about it, I just make something up that sounds accurate, or maybe I've felt once or something.

Spoiler

And, like, I don't want to admit this to anyone even myself but idek if, like, I like Sanderson anymore. Like I was obsessed with him for a few months but then I read most of his books and then had a whole depression fiasco... and now I just have Isles of Emberdark sitting on my desk waiting gathering dust, and same with like dozens of books that I bought and haven't read.

And I just spent... a fair amount... of money on the Kickstarter. Like, will I even read it? I hope so. Maybe... idk. And then so many people here have re-read the books a bunch and I haven't once. The closest I got was a few chapters into WoK but was not in the right mental state for that.

So like do I have any interests? When people ask me what I like to do, what my hobbies are, etc. it just feels like I'm saying things I used to do or enjoyed for a period of time, or just... things that aren't me. It just doesn't feel like me. Like either there's more I could say or I'm saying the wrong things. Can anyone actually describe themselves? Whenever I've been asked, literally the only thing I come up with is

Spoiler

smart

but I don't say that because that's stupid and idek how true and whatever.

so i just say.. idk what i say. probably introverted or some crem that's true but made-up or general or not anything that feels like I have to really think about to come up with and even then I don't come up with much. Or I don't come up with much so just default to the crem.

If someone asks me what I like about ____, or why Shallan's my favorite character, etc., then I'll just say "idk, I just liked it/her."

Sometimes I feel like I'm forcing myself to be someone I'm not. Like... am I actually into Grunge/Rock music? I think/thought so, but have barely listened to it since discovering J-Pop! I call myself a sci-fi/fantasy fan, but haven't watched any sci-fi movies (or much of anything) in months! At least nothing that counts, like I've watched two or three things with people I know. But... like... yeah.

I feel like I've wasted so much on interests I'm forcing myself to keep up or that are causing me guilt.

I've felt that way for years.

 

 

 

 

 

 

edit: fineeee SH TW/CW I guess

Spoiler

anyway uh I guess it's good I cut my nails so now they aren't long enough to—

Spoiler

but still long enough to rake across my body

Spoiler

when I'm anxious like in meetings or something and also when i think im screwing up then i

Spoiler

do stuff to meself

like

stuff that are prolly normal

like

pressing my hands against myself very hard and moving them back and forth

or

scratching myself a lil

or

wringing my hands

or

putting my arms in... weird positions

or

hopefully this doesn't sound like I'm a horrible little piece of crem uwu

 

 

 

 

 

Edited March 23 by Through The Living Girl

[Aeoryi she/her]

21 minutes ago, Through The Living Girl said:

das good uwu

what'd they ask

health questions

[6 7 ✾ She♡Her ✾]

i keep almost saying "uwu" irl what's wrong with me

must be the adhd