Certified Gay Disasters

[The Aspiring Archivist any]

6 hours ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

I'm not meaning like things we've known for awhile. Most of what I'm saying is based on that I say a video where someone was saying they were trigender and saying (paraphrased) "Hey, here's a new gender, y'all." 

This comes down to what I kinda forgot to address in my post. I'm mainly asking why people can't (stupid flimsy English language) be more feminine while still being male, for example. That's a bad example to what I'm trying to express here. This, I suppose, is closer: when it comes to gender roles, cannot one do x thing while still being the same gender? (I don't mean to come across here as attacking, just wanting to learn.) 

Perhaps I'm just seeing all this through a particular lens, but I really don't get a lot of it. I mean no disrespect, I just don't see the point in some ways. I can get, sorta, why, but not on the level that I can truly understand the why. 

I'd guess the person in that video was either joking, or they just have a unique way of identifying themself. It's not like coming up with a new label is trying to alter something fundamental about the world. Gender is a construct, and people can use it how they like.

As for the second thing, it's not that they can't. But maybe they'll get looked at weird, and feel out of place. Or it just makes it easier. Either way, I don't think it's about practicality. It's about identity. This is a point I find difficult to speak on, because I am not trans, nor do I have a very concrete feeling of what identity is, at least to me.

Importantly, just because your don't understand something or it doesn't make sense to you doesn't mean it isn't real or valid.

Edited February 22 by The Aspiring Archivist

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

4 minutes ago, The Aspiring Archivist said:

Importantly, just because your don't understand something or it doesn't make sense to you doesn't mean it isn't real or valid.

I agree. It is a valid way of thinking, it's a real way of identifying. 

5 minutes ago, The Aspiring Archivist said:

I'd guess the person in that video was either joking, or they just have a unique way of identifying themself. It's not like coming up with a new label is trying to alter something fundamental about the world. Gender is a construct, and people can use it how they like.

As for the second thing, it's not that they can't. But maybe they'll get looked at weird, and feel out of place. Or it just makes it easier. Either way, I don't think it's about practicality. It's about identity. This is a point I don't difficult to speak on, because I am not trans, nor do I have a very concrete feeling of what identity is, at least to me.

Fair. I see that. There are plenty of things that I myself think of as inflexible, that others find it more flexible and that's fine. 

My main thing is that the idea of gender roles in the first place (like, to take an example from stormlight, only men can fight and only women can read) is a little ridiculous in a lot of cases. However, in some it makes complete sense (ie men in general have more capacity (I'm not saying men have more strength, I'm just saying the capacity. I bet almost every woman has more strength than me) for strength overall, no matter how much we dislike that fact.)

[SmilingPanda19 she/her]

As someone who has started to question some things, I’d like to know some other Christians views. If anybody is willing to chat or maybe explain their view on sexuality. I certainly haven’t decided anything and currently am a heterosexual, biological female and identifies as female, woman. I don’t really know what to think, but I’m scared to talk to people about it since I’m in a huge conservative Christian family… I mean this isn’t a big deal to me, just a little confused on some stuff. You know? Ugh. Words are hard…

[Faerie Braids she/her]

2 hours ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

I'm not meaning like things we've known for awhile. Most of what I'm saying is based on that I say a video where someone was saying they were trigender and saying (paraphrased) "Hey, here's a new gender, y'all." 

This comes down to what I kinda forgot to address in my post. I'm mainly asking why people can't (stupid flimsy English language) be more feminine while still being male, for example. That's a bad example to what I'm trying to express here. This, I suppose, is closer: when it comes to gender roles, cannot one do x thing while still being the same gender? (I don't mean to come across here as attacking, just wanting to learn.) 

Perhaps I'm just seeing all this through a particular lens, but I really don't get a lot of it. I mean no disrespect, I just don't see the point in some ways. I can get, sorta, why, but not on the level that I can truly understand the why. 

Okay, so please take everything I say with a grain of salt, because, while my experience as a transgender woman is adjacent to this topic, I do not have the personal experience of someone who identifies with a nonbinary gender.

As The Aspiring Archivist noted, gender identity, expression, and roles are all distinct facets of a person, and I think a good way to understand that on a deeper level is to look for where it appears in your own life. Like, if I were to ask you how you see yourself on a fundamental level, I am willing to guess that, among many other things, the word "man" might come up. If this is the case, my question to you is: Do you see yourself as a man because you do what you feel are masculine things and express yourself in a way that feels masculine to you? Or do you see yourself as a man simply because you feel, deep inside yourself, that you are a man? This is purely about how you feel, so there is no right or wrong answer! For myself, at least, and many other queer people I have met, the second one feels more true; we identify as the gender we feel ourselves to be. Even if I do things that I see as masculine, that does not make me feel like any less of a woman or any more of a man. Extending this, there are many people who, no matter how they view the way they express themselves, don't see themselves as "a man" or "a woman", simply because who they feel they are does not feel like either of identities. To use an analogy, as someone who wants to make a living as an author and so is probably very passionate about writing, have you ever gone for noticeable amount of time without really writing anything? If so, did it make you feel like you were any less of a writer for it? In another example, which I hope is not overstepping for you, I noticed in your bio that you are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints. Do you see yourself as a part of that faith because of the way you act? Or do you see yourself as a part of that faith because you feel, deep inside yourself, that you are a part of that faith? Ultimately, I just want to give you questions like these to think upon, because I believe that the best way to better understand someone else's experience is to look for pieces of that experience in your own life. Other people can help with that, but you are the only one who can truly find those connections, because, as evidenced by all the assumptions I have made in trying to help you reach that understanding, you are the only one who truly knows how it feels to be you. Does that help?

Finally, I just wanted you to know that I do not find your question at all offensive or disrespectful; in my own opinion, the courage to be vulnerable by asking a question like that, and the honest desire to grow one's own understanding and empathy through such a question, is deserving of more respect than I could put into words. Trying, because you believe in it, is so much more important than saying what you know is correct without believing in it. Thank you for trying.

[The Aspiring Archivist any]

5 hours ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

I agree. It is a valid way of thinking, it's a real way of identifying. 

Fair. I see that. There are plenty of things that I myself think of as inflexible, that others find it more flexible and that's fine. 

My main thing is that the idea of gender roles in the first place (like, to take an example from stormlight, only men can fight and only women can read) is a little ridiculous in a lot of cases. However, in some it makes complete sense (ie men in general have more capacity (I'm not saying men have more strength, I'm just saying the capacity. I bet almost every woman has more strength than me) for strength overall, no matter how much we dislike that fact.)

On that last point, I think it's important to address some conflation that tends to happen in that area. The thing is, capacity for strength is not necessarily a general trait of men. It is, however, a general trait of people who are assigned male at birth, or AMAB (you could also say biologically male or such, but I personally prefer the terms AMAB or AFAB because they imply less of something being the "normal" gender for a person. Not to mention that biological sex is, like many things, not just a binary).

So since most AMAB people will go on to retain that gender identity, people tend to conflate that physical trait with men, even though men can be AFAB. Gender is an invented concept separate from such things, so really all gender roles are arbitrary, even if some come from a more observable basis.

I don't know how much sense that made, but I hope it helps. Anyway, I should really sleep...

[Koloss17 She/They]

12 hours ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

Hey, y'all. I don't want to be offensive, I just really want to know and have a low selection of people who fall into the LGBTQ community nearby that I know and can talk to. Again, I'm not trying to offend anyone, I'm just trying to formulate ways that I can talk to people in better ways and be able to understand more of the world, which, as someone who wants to make a living as an author, is important. So please remember that.

I know this is primarily made as a gay club, but my question is about how people identify as genders that haven't been discovered (is that the right word?) before. My question might be a little offensive, but I truly don't mean harm here. I've been having a hard time fitting my question into adequate words for a minute or two and I'm scratching my head on this. Basically, what I'm wondering is why do y'all feel the need to change genders/transition/whatever term y'all have for it, when you could, potentially, when you could do a lot of the same things (and I'm just reaching into my mental bank here, so I could be really wrong about this entirely, please correct me) that you would want to do in that other gender in the gender you are/were?

Again, I'm not trying to be offensive, I just feel a desire to know. Kinda like my next step in trying to better understand and respect people. Please be patient with me. I may not ever see things the same way as y'all or understand completely, but, hey, at least I'm trying here? 

Anyways, sorry for making this a little long. Hope y'all have wonderful days. 

Alright, it’s time to share my view on this.

to start, I think it’s important to define how I see gender. Keep in mind that “gender” is largely nebulous, and is not easily defined by a universally agreed definition. To me, gender is the association with certain traits and characteristics with a certain lifestyle and group of people. Basically, it is a method of us sorting people into more mentally digestible boxes. If we see someone with short hair, a mustache, and a deep voice, we will assume they are strong, like women, play video games, and could be more aggressive. If we see someone with long hair, a higher voice, and wearing a dress, we will assume that they like fashion, are weaker, and are more submissive. Obviously this is an inaccurate look at people, but it is an averaging. Men on average are more interested in gaming than women, and women on average are more interested in fashion than men. 
 

Non-binary identities, genders that are outside of male or female. Generally, they have traits and qualities that are strongly associated with a certain gender, and have another trait that goes directly against that. Basically, they don’t fit into that typical mold, and choose to outwardly express that.
 

To me, my main starter point in my transition was that I didn’t want to be seen as male. It was incongruent with how I saw myself, and I wanted to change that. At first, I didn’t have any interest in being seen as female. It was something that was largely unimportant to me. I just didnt want to be seen as male. And so, I labeled myself as agender, meaning I didn’t identify with any gender. I wanted to be myself without others immediately assuming qualities to me.

However, as time went on, I realized I liked feminine looks and traits. I wanted to have a feminine voice, wear feminine things, and be seen as a girl. 
 

And so, here I am. I am a trans woman, with a name that matches my inner self, have been on feminizing hormones for over 2 years, and I have as feminine a voice as any other woman. And I couldn’t be happier.

Now, I still have non-feminine traits. I like women and am an avid gamer. These do not make me not a woman, but they go against what people expect a woman to be like. 
 

To wrinkle that further, I actually really like that I still have the ability to talk in my masculine voice. I enjoy the vocal control I have, and I appreciate that I can still sing in my lower range. I don’t like constantly speaking in my masculine voice, but I do like singing in it (as well as singing in a feminine voice). Does that make me less of a woman? I don’t think so. However, I still don’t feel like I am fully a woman. I think of myself as being around 75% feminine, with some masculine traits. That’s why I am also comfortably in that non-binary umbrella. However, there are those that have those qualities that wouldn’t consider that they’re nonbinary. In the end, that comes down to personal preference.

Many in the nonbinary umbrella want to be themselves, free of societal expectations on gender. Many feel joy from having clear masculine and feminine traits, and that’s awesome. And sure, they could still call themselves a man or a woman, but that goes against what they seek to be; someone without those annoying societal stereotypes.

[That1Cellist he/him]

6 hours ago, Koloss17 said:

 

To wrinkle that further, I actually really like that I still have the ability to talk in my masculine voice. I enjoy the vocal control I have, and I appreciate that I can still sing in my lower range. I don’t like constantly speaking in my masculine voice, but I do like singing in it (as well as singing in a feminine voice). Does that make me less of a woman? I don’t think so. However, I still don’t feel like I am fully a woman. I think of myself as being around 75% feminine, with some masculine traits. That’s why I am also comfortably in that non-binary umbrella. However, there are those that have those qualities that wouldn’t consider that they’re nonbinary. In the end, that comes down to personal preference.

Alright, I know this is a bit off topic, but I have to bring it up. What is your vocal range for singing then? How many octaves? I'm quite curious since I hadn't really thought about this sort of thing before. (And I haven't been hanging out with as many "Gay disasters" since I transferred schools and had to meet new people) So this isn't really something I'm all that familiar with.

Sorry if I said anything offensive. If I did I didn't mean it. I'm known for being pretty awkward, and I even have a penchant for accidentally making drug jokes because I don't tend to socialize well, and am pretty awkward with spoken language. Sorry again if I said anything that hurt anyone's feelings.

[shortcake she/her]

18 hours ago, SmilingPanda19 said:

As someone who has started to question some things, I’d like to know some other Christians views. If anybody is willing to chat or maybe explain their view on sexuality. I certainly haven’t decided anything and currently am a heterosexual, biological female and identifies as female, woman. I don’t really know what to think, but I’m scared to talk to people about it since I’m in a huge conservative Christian family… I mean this isn’t a big deal to me, just a little confused on some stuff. You know? Ugh. Words are hard…

HI PANDA!! okay I'm not sure I'll be of much help here, but my family is a part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, as well am I, but I identify as genderfluid (meaning I use any pronouns) with a preference for they/them pronouns, and I'm a bisexual (with a possible preference for women, but I'm still not completely sure on that part, plus i have a boyfriend)

I haven't really "come out" to any of my family yet, but sometimes my siblings will joke with me about me being a lesbian and driving a certain kind of car (lesbian car?? I forgot the company name, but I think it was a Subaru? might be completely wrong) because of the way I dress and act, along with the people I hang out with. I've expressed that I'm fine with this kind of thing, but I haven't specifically stated whether they're right or not

my brother has seen that I have a nonbinary flag in my room from when he helped me set up my bookshelf, and all he did was acknowledge it, but he didn't really express where he stands with it

I've always been really scared about coming out to my family though, since I'm scared that they're going to treat me differently than if I kept going about my life without telling them

I don't really know if this will help, since I don't know exactly what you're questioning, but hopefully I can help you out more if need be

[Cash67 he/him]

20 hours ago, SmilingPanda19 said:

As someone who has started to question some things, I’d like to know some other Christians views. If anybody is willing to chat or maybe explain their view on sexuality. I certainly haven’t decided anything and currently am a heterosexual, biological female and identifies as female, woman. I don’t really know what to think, but I’m scared to talk to people about it since I’m in a huge conservative Christian family… I mean this isn’t a big deal to me, just a little confused on some stuff. You know? Ugh. Words are hard…

Speaking up in this thread for the first time after lurking for a year. 
 

Background and stance! Grew up Christian, and had about a year where I doubted if Christianity was correct and dove into apologetics and all that, came to the conclusion that Biblical Christianity is the only worldview that makes sense. What that means is I take the Bible at its word 100% of the time. The most important thing that the Bible teaches is that everyone needs Jesus. No exceptions. The Bible does contradict a large portion of what I have heard out of LGBTQ+ spaces. So how do I relate this to LGBTQ+ stuff? 

I want everyone to see that Jesus offers peace and hope to fix our brokenness, however it presents itself. I want everyone to see that Jesus is better than anything we can dream of. The way I do that is treating everyone like the image bearers of God they are: deserving of respect, love, and compassion. I can treat someone on the “opposite side” with dignity while simultaneously disagreeing with everything they say. 

TLDR: Everyone is a human, and therefore I need to give everyone respect they deserve as an image bearer of God, and love as a person sought out by Jesus. Hope this shows stuff clearly from another Christian!

Edited February 22 by Cash67
Link taken out, a sentence or two added to make sure my original intentions are communicated without it!

[AonEne he/him in an enby way]

20 hours ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

Again, I'm not trying to be offensive, I just feel a desire to know. Kinda like my next step in trying to better understand and respect people. Please be patient with me. I may not ever see things the same way as y'all or understand completely, but, hey, at least I'm trying here? 

I want to reiterate that it's good to want to learn and educate yourself, and expand your understanding of the world! Totally happy to talk about this. I think others have done a good job covering this but I'll throw in my perspective too. 

19 hours ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

I'm not meaning like things we've known for awhile. Most of what I'm saying is based on that I say a video where someone was saying they were trigender and saying (paraphrased) "Hey, here's a new gender, y'all." 

I'd assume this person to be speaking lightheartedly or to mean it like "here's a new gender you may not have heard about". When people come up with new words for how they identify, it doesn't mean they're inventing new concepts - they're just finding specific language to describe what they feel and who they are. Not everyone feels the need to narrow down what they feel that much or use microlabels, for many people existing words work just fine, and others don't even feel the need to call themselves anything specific at all. 

I myself am bigender; I'm both a man and a woman at the same time. It took me some time to figure this out and I thought I might be other things along the way, and it's entirely possible that my understanding of myself will shift or that someone will introduce me to something that encapsulates my feelings even better. For now, I am confident in who I am and the language I use to communicate that: I'm nonbinary, more specifically bigender, and I use both he and she pronouns. 

18 hours ago, SmilingPanda19 said:

As someone who has started to question some things, I’d like to know some other Christians views. If anybody is willing to chat or maybe explain their view on sexuality. I certainly haven’t decided anything and currently am a heterosexual, biological female and identifies as female, woman. I don’t really know what to think, but I’m scared to talk to people about it since I’m in a huge conservative Christian family… I mean this isn’t a big deal to me, just a little confused on some stuff. You know? Ugh. Words are hard…

It's a common experience to not have anyone you know to talk to about certain things or be intimidated in such a situation! I've been there myself, and it took some time to learn, but it's absolutely possible. 

I'm not Christian myself, but I am spiritual and was raised LDS. A way I often find useful to look at it is that, when creating people or sending them down to Earth, God sent some souls to bodies that don't fit them quite right. For some that's literal and physical, for others it's due to the expectations of the majority of society, and often both. This is part of those individuals' trials on Earth; both the oppression they face and their journey to become more personally comfortable, whether through social transition or medical transition (because medical transition is just a type of healthcare). 

Because I believe in a benevolent God or Gods, I also believe that that God is not and cannot be homophobic or transphobic. God encourages love and being your best and happiest self. 

17 hours ago, Faerie Braids said:

Do you see yourself as a man because you do what you feel are masculine things and express yourself in a way that feels masculine to you? Or do you see yourself as a man simply because you feel, deep inside yourself, that you are a man? This is purely about how you feel, so there is no right or wrong answer! For myself, at least, and many other queer people I have met, the second one feels more true; we identify as the gender we feel ourselves to be. 

Expanding on this - yes! It's important to note the different things that cause people to realize or act on the fact that they're trans. For some people, it's an internal feeling, a fact about yourself that you can just know. Sometimes it takes people a while to realize it, and it's hard to explain, but it's just there. 

Another aspect is the wanting to present and be perceived as a gender differently from the one assumed at birth, because you find that that makes you happier (gender euphoria) or decreases your discomfort (dysphoria), and so you identify as the gender you wish to be (and are, you just don't feel it in your soul, whatever that means). Social performances of gender and its presentation are made up and can be easily contradicted by anyone, queer or not. Being transgender is more than that. 

There's also physical gender dysphoria and euphoria. Some trans people don't feel this, and that doesn't make them any less trans; no one's experience is exactly the same. But many trans and nonbinary people do report physical discomfort and extreme distress over the bodies they were born into which can be alleviated with medical care. 

Any of these things and most often a combination of them leads people to realize that they're not the gender people assumed from their genitals (which isn't even getting into intersex people; biological sex is not binary itself). 

Tl;dr it's not simply wanting to do things society generally considers masculine or feminine; it's about your inner inherent feelings, whether of your own gender or of dysphoria or euphoria leading you to realize that gender. Trans men are men, trans women are women, and nonbinary people are people; the world just takes some extra time to realize it. 

[Wittles he/him]

19 hours ago, SmilingPanda19 said:

As someone who has started to question some things, I’d like to know some other Christians views. If anybody is willing to chat or maybe explain their view on sexuality. I certainly haven’t decided anything and currently am a heterosexual, biological female and identifies as female, woman. I don’t really know what to think, but I’m scared to talk to people about it since I’m in a huge conservative Christian family… I mean this isn’t a big deal to me, just a little confused on some stuff. You know? Ugh. Words are hard…

That is completely fair and I kinda had the same issues for a while there. As a member of the LDS church, I've pretty much found where I fit as a bisexual cisgender male. For me, I've found great comfort in knowing that god is okay and loves everyone so it doesn't matter how you identify or if you're questioning or whatever. I think it's a good thing to question yourself, and if you end up with the conclusion that you are how you think you are now, then awesome! You've figured some stuff out about yourself and that's great. If you realize that you might not identify with how you do now, also awesome cuz you've figured out some big stuff about yourself. 

As to how to approach/deal with family things, for me letting myself accept that I might be different than my family and allowing yourself to have different views on things and having personal insight into what feels right for you is the best way to get unconfused. 

Anyway, there's a semicoherent bit of thoughts, idk if it helped lol, but there you go anyway!

[Koloss17 She/They]

3 hours ago, That1Cellist said:

Alright, I know this is a bit off topic, but I have to bring it up. What is your vocal range for singing then? How many octaves? I'm quite curious since I hadn't really thought about this sort of thing before. (And I haven't been hanging out with as many "Gay disasters" since I transferred schools and had to meet new people) So this isn't really something I'm all that familiar with.

Sorry if I said anything offensive. If I did I didn't mean it. I'm known for being pretty awkward, and I even have a penchant for accidentally making drug jokes because I don't tend to socialize well, and am pretty awkward with spoken language. Sorry again if I said anything that hurt anyone's feelings.

Alright I am so excited to hear this question. I worked hard on my vocal range, so Lord Ruler help me, I will show it off when I can.

my vocal range at the moment is a G1 to a B5, which is a bit over a 3 octave voice range. 

 

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

To all of you who responded to me, @The Aspiring Archivist, @Faerie Braids, @AonEne, @Koloss17, thank you. All of your views on these topics have really helped me understand more. I hope that we can all have continued understanding! 

I've been trying to fit all my thoughts into a paragraph, however...  I'm gonna try again, and hopefully this time it feels like I'm the one who's writing it. I'm still really trying to figure out what my opinion on a lot of things are, how I look at the world. I know a few things of how I look at it, but not yet fully. And this has truly helped me enormously. Being on the Shard has just been enormous for me. I wouldn't have the amount of empathy and understanding of people who are different in a lot of ways than I am, and how I think, without the Shard. 

I don't have much else to say beyond: thank y'all for sharing! I might have further questions in the future, and I hope you'll answer those as well! As I said before: have a wonderful day/night y'all! Stay awesome (as if that's even hard for the people who I've interacted with here).

[TheRavenHasLanded he/him]

On 2/21/2024 at 8:07 PM, SmilingPanda19 said:

As someone who has started to question some things, I’d like to know some other Christians views. If anybody is willing to chat or maybe explain their view on sexuality. I certainly haven’t decided anything and currently am a heterosexual, biological female and identifies as female, woman. I don’t really know what to think, but I’m scared to talk to people about it since I’m in a huge conservative Christian family… I mean this isn’t a big deal to me, just a little confused on some stuff. You know? Ugh. Words are hard…

Sexuality is sacred. i mean, it could just be hormones, but also this is a weird time so i dont know for sure. my brain cells are working on other stuff atm, so please take anything i say with a grain of salt

[SmilingPanda19 she/her]

Thanks to the people who responded. I am kind of just unsure where I stand on attraction. I’m trying to figure out where I stand on it, but that’s okay. Thanks for sharing your opinions!

[TheRavenHasLanded he/him]

2 minutes ago, SmilingPanda19 said:

Thanks to the people who responded. I am kind of just unsure where I stand on attraction. I’m trying to figure out where I stand on it, but that’s okay. Thanks for sharing your opinions!

its your decision to make! thats all i can say.

[AonEne he/him in an enby way]

5 hours ago, SmilingPanda19 said:

Thanks to the people who responded. I am kind of just unsure where I stand on attraction. I’m trying to figure out where I stand on it, but that’s okay. Thanks for sharing your opinions!

People were responding to your question in a few different ways, and I'm not sure exactly what you were looking for - when you say you're unsure how you stand on attraction, do you mean you don't know if you think attraction or certain kinds of attraction are okay, or that you're figuring your own attraction out? 

[SmilingPanda19 she/her]

2 hours ago, AonEne said:

People were responding to your question in a few different ways, and I'm not sure exactly what you were looking for - when you say you're unsure how you stand on attraction, do you mean you don't know if you think attraction or certain kinds of attraction are okay, or that you're figuring your own attraction out? 

Well, I dont really know who Im attracted to or what to do about it...

[AonEne he/him in an enby way]

1 hour ago, SmilingPanda19 said:

Well, I dont really know who Im attracted to or what to do about it...

Before anything else, the thing to remember in my opinion: it's okay to not know this. It's okay to take some time to figure things out, or to not figure things out, especially when you're young! And then, if you do figure it out, it's okay to be attracted to any gender. But I don't think you have to do anything about it; live your life, and if you figure it out on the way, great. Go on a few dates if you feel up to it, try to see if you feel different about any of them, but there's no time limit on figuring this out. 

[The cheeseman Sola Scriptora]

On 2/22/2024 at 4:29 PM, Cash67 said:

Speaking up in this thread for the first time after lurking for a year. 
 

Background and stance! Grew up Christian, and had about a year where I doubted if Christianity was correct and dove into apologetics and all that, came to the conclusion that Biblical Christianity is the only worldview that makes sense. What that means is I take the Bible at its word 100% of the time. The most important thing that the Bible teaches is that everyone needs Jesus. No exceptions. The Bible does contradict a large portion of what I have heard out of LGBTQ+ spaces. So how do I relate this to LGBTQ+ stuff? 

I want everyone to see that Jesus offers peace and hope to fix our brokenness, however it presents itself. I want everyone to see that Jesus is better than anything we can dream of. The way I do that is treating everyone like the image bearers of God they are: deserving of respect, love, and compassion. I can treat someone on the “opposite side” with dignity while simultaneously disagreeing with everything they say. 

TLDR: Everyone is a human, and therefore I need to give everyone respect they deserve as an image bearer of God, and love as a person sought out by Jesus. Hope this shows stuff clearly from another Christian!

As a fellow believer, I second this. An attitude like this is what we should take not just to those who are LGBT, but to everyone who disagrees with us.

[Hmmm lies she/her]

I think I might be trans. I always thought I was a "different" kind of boy, one who acted more like a girl, and identified more with girls, but still male. I'd even checked my mind to check if I was trans, and the response was always "no"

But today, when I woke up, I realized I thought of myself as a girl. When I asked my mind if I was trans, it paused, then said "I... think so" I was so shocked, I thought it came out of nowhere.

Now though, I'm beginning to realize that some stuff might have been foreshadowing. I'm already beginning to think of my past self as a girl as well.

Is it normal that these thoughts come all of a sudden? How long should I wait before I can be sure that these feelings are correct.

(Also, thought I was straight before, but I guess if I am trans that makes me lesbian)

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

1 hour ago, Hmmm lies said:

I think I might be trans. I always thought I was a "different" kind of boy, one who acted more like a girl, and identified more with girls, but still male. I'd even checked my mind to check if I was trans, and the response was always "no"

But today, when I woke up, I realized I thought of myself as a girl. When I asked my mind if I was trans, it paused, then said "I... think so" I was so shocked, I thought it came out of nowhere.

Now though, I'm beginning to realize that some stuff might have been foreshadowing. I'm already beginning to think of my past self as a girl as well.

Is it normal that these thoughts come all of a sudden? How long should I wait before I can be sure that these feelings are correct.

(Also, thought I was straight before, but I guess if I am trans that makes me lesbian)

(EDIT: I said something that was really poorly worded in the middle of some things that I thought were well worded and don't have time to rewrite it all)

Edited March 17 by Thaidakar the Ghostblood
*drawn out, annoyed at myself, sigh.*

[Faerie Braids she/her]

3 hours ago, Hmmm lies said:

I think I might be trans. I always thought I was a "different" kind of boy, one who acted more like a girl, and identified more with girls, but still male. I'd even checked my mind to check if I was trans, and the response was always "no"

But today, when I woke up, I realized I thought of myself as a girl. When I asked my mind if I was trans, it paused, then said "I... think so" I was so shocked, I thought it came out of nowhere.

Now though, I'm beginning to realize that some stuff might have been foreshadowing. I'm already beginning to think of my past self as a girl as well.

Is it normal that these thoughts come all of a sudden? How long should I wait before I can be sure that these feelings are correct.

(Also, thought I was straight before, but I guess if I am trans that makes me lesbian)

That is so wonderful to hear! I don't think it is at all unusual for these thoughts to appear suddenly, like you are describing; in my own experience, at least, I have had several that felt very unexpected. They seemed to come out of nowhere, though, looking back, I think that they had been building for a long time. Honestly, there is no universal timeline to being certain you are correct, and, in fact, as long as you feel comfortable and safe in doing so, experimenting with different pronouns, names, clothing, etc, when you are uncertain can be really helpful in finding what feels best for you. Working out your gender identity can definitely be tricky and shifting perceptions can feel sudden and uncertain, so the best advice I can give is simply to go for what feels right, because nothing is set in stone. Finally, just know that, no matter where you land, you will always be accepted, welcomed, supported, and celebrated here exactly for who you are.

[Hmmm lies she/her]

6 hours ago, Faerie Braids said:

That is so wonderful to hear! I don't think it is at all unusual for these thoughts to appear suddenly, like you are describing; in my own experience, at least, I have had several that felt very unexpected. They seemed to come out of nowhere, though, looking back, I think that they had been building for a long time. Honestly, there is no universal timeline to being certain you are correct, and, in fact, as long as you feel comfortable and safe in doing so, experimenting with different pronouns, names, clothing, etc, when you are uncertain can be really helpful in finding what feels best for you. Working out your gender identity can definitely be tricky and shifting perceptions can feel sudden and uncertain, so the best advice I can give is simply to go for what feels right, because nothing is set in stone. Finally, just know that, no matter where you land, you will always be accepted, welcomed, supported, and celebrated here exactly for who you are.

Aw, thanks. Yeah, the weird thing is, literally the day before this started, I thought about how nice it would be to crossdress. And I was thinking about it when I got up the next day, and decided to check my gender identity again, and you know what happened then from my earlier post.

[AonEne he/him in an enby way]

On 3/16/2024 at 9:33 PM, Hmmm lies said:

Is it normal that these thoughts come all of a sudden? How long should I wait before I can be sure that these feelings are correct.

(Also, thought I was straight before, but I guess if I am trans that makes me lesbian)

As Faerie Braids said, there's no timeline, and experimenting with social transition or presenting as a girl in whatever ways feel good and safe can help you figure out where you're at. There's a reason the joke is cracking out of your trans egg - many trans people do not realize until later in their life, even if they know of transgender people conceptually, that they're trans. It often takes a lot of thought before suddenly you just realize and break out of that egg. There was a time in my life where I didn't think I was trans either. And know that you can examine doubts without letting them make you anxious or sad - if you want to wear feminine clothes, do it! You can keep thinking on it and giving it time while still doing things that make you happy now. Even if it turns out that you are a guy who wants to present femininely or crossdress, it's fine to take some time to figure that out and tentatively try out thinking of yourself as different things.