Tournament: Cosmere Character Roast Battles

[Ascended Grubberfly He/Him]

Yes yes, I am such a trend setter, you should always do what I do regardless of my reasoning.

[GG0z He/Him]

17 hours ago, Stardust said:

You can always decide later! That's what Grub is doing! 

I'll do the same thing, then

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

*looks nervous*

Can I sign up? I'm fine with writing for anyone?

[Stardust She/Her]

Yessss Shameless plug pulling people in

Should I just start pinging people? That might be easier

[AonEne he/him]

I'll sign up as Nomad! 

[Ashspren]

4 hours ago, Ink and Embers said:

*looks nervous*

Can I sign up? I'm fine with writing for anyone?

Yes of course! Just let me know when you pick a character.  
 

Also @Shatter, are you joining as Hoid?

Edited June 24 by Ashspren

[Shatter He/Him]

On 6/23/2026 at 1:12 PM, Ashspren said:

Nope, you can use him as a character if you want! The audience is the judge via google forms. 

I think Hoid should either be banned or made a judge, given that Hoid is like the legal authority on insulting people.

mmmm

Hoid could be the emcee...

I dunno what I'm talking about

Edited June 26 by Shatter

[Frustration]

@Ashspren should we at least start one round?

[Ashspren]

On 6/26/2026 at 11:04 AM, Frustration said:

@Ashspren should we at least start one round?

Sure, we've been rethinking the structure a bit to make sure things don't go stagnant. I'll kick things off later this week and explain new timings/rules. 

@Ascended Grubberfly @GG0z @Ink and Embers please pick your characters by EOD Sunday (July 5). 

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

3 hours ago, Ashspren said:

Sure, we've been rethinking the structure a bit to make sure things don't go stagnant. I'll kick things off later this week and explain new timings/rules. 

@Ascended Grubberfly @GG0z @Ink and Embers please pick your characters by EOD Sunday (July 5). 

Uh oh, deadlines *hides*

Could I pick Wax?

[Archer he/him]

2 hours ago, Ink and Embers said:

Could I pick Wax?

I'd like to imagine he's filling in for Wayne, who didn't show up 

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

33 minutes ago, Archer said:

I'd like to imagine he's filling in for Wayne, who didn't show up 

Oooooo yes, that would totally happen

[Ascended Grubberfly He/Him]

I’ll take Wayne, but Wax didn’t want to participate so I faked not being able to attend, then showing up right as the event started so there was no time for him to leave.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

37 minutes ago, Ascended Grubberfly said:

I’ll take Wayne, but Wax didn’t want to participate so I faked not being able to attend, then showing up right as the event started so there was no time for him to leave.

That. Is also totally in character. 

[Ascended Grubberfly He/Him]

1 minute ago, Ink and Embers said:

That. Is also totally in character. 

Check your coat pocket. I even gave you a hat! Not my lucky one, as I need that so I don’t get blown up because you’re here!

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

4 minutes ago, Ascended Grubberfly said:

Check your coat pocket. I even gave you a hat! Not my lucky one, as I need that so I don’t get blown up because you’re here!

This is ... a stoat. And Steris only let me take a pistol, since there was a chance it would be civilized before you showed up. 

[Frustration]

Guys the roast battle hasn't even started yet

[GG0z He/Him]

8 hours ago, Ashspren said:

Sure, we've been rethinking the structure a bit to make sure things don't go stagnant. I'll kick things off later this week and explain new timings/rules. 

@Ascended Grubberfly @GG0z @Ink and Embers please pick your characters by EOD Sunday (July 5). 

I'll pick... uhhhhhm Nightblood?

[Ashspren]

On 6/22/2026 at 10:43 AM, Ashspren said:

Great, thanks gang! So we currently have:

• @Myst as Frost
• @Stardust as Kaladin
• @Ascended Grubberfly as Wayne
• @Archer as Torol Sadeas
• @Frustration as Szeth
•  @GG0z as Nightblood
•  @AonEne as Nomad
•  @Ink and Embers as Wax

Looking forward to it! Feel free to tag people/reach out to see if anyone else wants to participate. While a full 16 would be great (and very Cosmere relevant), we can also make it work with 8. 

Okay awesome, thanks everyone! Looks like this is our completed roster. Will kick things off in the next couple days-- excited to get started! 

[Ashspren]

Alright everyone, here's how this is going to work... 

1. Competitors: I will release the matchups on Monday by noon EDT, and competitors will have until the following Friday by noon to write and post their roast. (Note: all times are in EDT.)
2. Everyone: I'll post the Google Form for people to vote on winners Friday evenings, and everyone (including the audience!) will have until the following Monday by 9am to submit their vote.
3. The winners of each matchup will move onto the next round. 

Hopefully, having everyone post when they're ready within the week will keep things from stalling too much. (Also, thank you to Archer for helping me out with this!)

To kick things off, we'll release the matchups a little earlier this week. Competitors, you have until Friday 7/10 at 12pm EDT to post your roast! As a reminder, your roast can be as long or as short as you want it to be. Your goal is to verbally eviscerate the character you've been matched up with, acting as the character you have selected. As always, good flow and rhyming are very encouraged. 

Our first round matchups are: 

• Nomad vs. Szeth  ( @AonEne vs. @Frustration )
• Wayne vs. Kaladin  ( @Ascended Grubberfly vs. @Stardust )
• Frost vs. Nightblood  ( @Mystic vs. @GG0z )
• Wax vs. Sadeas  ( @Ink and Embers vs. @Archer )

Happy roasting to everyone, and best of luck!