The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[AonDoor he/him]

They were sick of eating nothing but chocolate-covered-peanut-butter-pretzals-that-tasted-like-strawberries, and they wanted chocolate-covered-peanut-butter-pretzels-that-tasted-like-strawberries instead. The texture was much better.

[Szeth's Facepalm]

They decided to make a factory of their own. This may have been due to Ruin's influence. Then again, maybe not.

[AonDoor he/him]

Unfortunately, due to a lack of funds, their maybe-Ruin-inspired factory was made entirely of chocolate-covered-peanut-butter-pretzal-that-tastes-like-strawberries batter.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

As the peach rain came back around the planet, it doused the factory. Unintelligible continued his journey.

[NameIess]

Having passed three "challenges" Unintelligible was certain he was close to his goal.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Unfortunately, he had one more obstacle to complete. He must steal the Rhythm of War from it's sacred hiding place on Nalthis. Once this feat had been completed, he had to place the book on a raised pedestal to gain access to Nameless's prison. All readers keep in mind he still had his Invincible Rock, along with one more useless gift from the Shard of Whimsy. The question was whether or not he would use these gifts.

Edited December 3, 2021 by Ookla the Sequence

[NameIess]

Unintelligible stared at the giant fortress covered in cages holding the bodies of all the adventurers who came before him, filled with heavily armored guards who trained their entire lives to kill anyone stupid enough to so much as consider stealing the Rhythm of war. He glanced towards Whimsy. "I could, uh, use that useless gift now maybe?" He glanced back at the fortress, noticing one of the distant guards gesturing towards him. "Please?"

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

"go post. dark one." Szeth whispered, then disappeared.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Whimsy sneezed and a green baseball bat appeared in Unintelligible’s hands. “Good luck!” This baseball bat was green, made of fine wood and it smelled of elderberries. It was decorated with floral patterns and came with a set of limited edition designer gloves.

Edited December 3, 2021 by Ookla the Sequence

[NameIess]

12 hours ago, Ookla the Confused said:

"go post. dark one." Szeth whispered, then disappeared.

I think we should keep forum games stuff in the forum games section.

Unintelligible hefted the baseball bat in one hand and the indestructible rock in the other as he walked towards the fortress. "You got this Unintelligible. You got the best score in the history of the N&G on the sports combat exam. You were the four time ninga baseball hunger games champion. You survived the zombie apocalypse for seventeen times as long as everyone else in your class did. You are talking to yourself in your head in the second person. Snap out of it and go get that storming rhythm!" He broke into a run, charging towards the fortress.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

6 minutes ago, Ookla the unintelligible said:

I think we should keep forum games stuff in the forum games section.

Unintelligible hefted the baseball bat in one hand and the indestructible rock in the other as he walked towards the fortress. "You got this Unintelligible. You got the best score in the history of the N&G on the sports combat exam. You were the four time ninga baseball hunger games champion. You survived the zombie apocalypse for seventeen times as long as everyone else in your class did. You are talking to yourself in your head in the second person. Snap out of it and go get that storming rhythm!" He broke into a run, charging towards the fortress.

You're no fun :< (plus sequence is already over there )

Edited December 3, 2021 by Ookla the Confused

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

As Unintelligible starting running, the baseball bat started screaming. The guards of the fortress dropped their weapons and covered their ears, wailing in agony at the terrible noise.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

51 minutes ago, Ookla the Confused said:

You're no fun :< (plus sequence is already over there )

I don’t even know what the Dark One forums are, so I just followed along with the prison thing.

[NameIess]

Unintelligible was on top of the wall in a flash, smashing guards off the wall left and right, ripping through them like a highstorm through a group of Herdazians.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Several guards fainted at the narrator’s awesome simile.

[NameIess]

Unintelligible stopped suddenly, closing his eyes. The entire fortress exploded into a cloud of butterflies, revealing the Rhythm of war at its heart. He opened his eyes, revealing a group of guards passing out anti-simile helmets. "Nope, I'm still not a narrator. Too bad." Unintelligible sighed, then jumped off the wall to fall deeper into the fortress.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

The Rhythm of War’s glowing aura called out to him as the guards swallowed beads of Lerasium.

[NameIess]

Unintelligible charged towards them fearlessly.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

He managed not to slip as the guards shrank back in fear, despite their newfound powers.

[NameIess]

It helped that he smelled like a mix between chocolate-covered-peanut-butter-pretzals-that-tasted-like-strawberries and bean water.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

It seemed victory was in-hand. That was until Ruin decided to intervene through Unintelligible's spike. The warrior/adventurer/narrator-in-training felt a tug on his mind. 

[NameIess]

Unintelligible reached out towards his goal. The rhythm of war. "I should... I should put this somewhere, shouldn't I? I was going... going to do something with it. Something important. The... Ghanderflaffle empire? I was going to place this in the empire's power core? force them into an eternal battle that finally ends their empire that has been preserved for so long? But... why?" He took the rhythm and started walking back towards the Ghanderflaffle empire.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

The spectators started screaming as Ruin cackled maniacally. The LiViNg ChEeSe was amused.

[NameIess]

King Timmy the XVISOLX, ruler of the Ghanderflaffle empire, looked on in shock as his strongest warriors were demolished by a lone warrior wielding a green baseball bat with flowers carved on it, while wearing a set of designer gloves.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Ruin was sipping a cup of tea, watching this. The only entity who could help with this was currently playing with action figures while sitting in a high chair.