The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[NameIess]

Whom everyone hated.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

It was Butt Venture.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

He'd been elected by a majority of one.

[Jaywalk he/him]

The deciding vote was a squirrel.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

Who was promptly exiled.

[+Quitecontrary she/her]

And replaced by a woodchucking woodchuck.

[Lunamor she/her]

Who could indeed chuck wood.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

Over a mile, on a good day.

[Shard of Reading he/him]

He had set numerous world records.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

He'd taken one or two Olympic gold medals.

[Shard of Reading he/him]

Plus winning numerous computions, he had also thrown the ceremonial first pitch at the final game of the cubs v. indians world series.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

It had been too much for the bat.

[Jaywalk he/him]

It flew back to its cave, screeching.

[Shard of Reading he/him]

I then had to have therapy till the end of it's days.

[+Quitecontrary she/her]

It chewed on baseballs because it couldn't decide what type of bat it is.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

Then it discovered mothballs.

[Jaywalk he/him]

And created a very lucrative business based on them.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

Selling to other bats.

[Jaywalk he/him]

But the mothballs had traces of Brandon Sanderson, the leading cause of cancer in fruit bats.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

Luckily, the bats weren't fruit bats.

[+Doomstick he/him]

They were soap bats

[Rosharan A.C. he/him]

Known for their turkey and mothball diets.

[+Doomstick he/him]

Turkey and mothballs was the height of Ghanderflaffle cuisine 

[xinoehp512 he/him]

Famed as a delicacy worldwide.

[Jaywalk he/him]

Except in France.