The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[whattheHoid she/her]

I dunno. I'll be honest, I'm really into this whole Fartsmere/Cosmere Butt Venture story. I guess you could say I'm Invested. *wink wink*

[Apollyon he/him]

Ouch. That pun hurt. 

Too lazy to link it right now as I’m on mobile, but we need to beat Random Stuff IX: Admins gone rogue. Or something along those lines. It’s 200+ pages that are luckily locked now.

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

Butt agreed to bring his Fartomancers to aid the Resistance against the First Odium. He found a young girl named Wey, who had incredible farting powers. She didn’t know who her parents were though.

[whattheHoid she/her]

I've got plenty more puns where that came from, but I'll spare you all. ;p

Butt didn't realize how hard it was to find a legion of Fartomancers. Most Fartomancers were a touchy lot, who liked to keep to themselves. Even the threat of Odium couldn't pique their interest. So, he came up with a bribe instead; one that no Fartomancer could resist.

[Devout Pathian]

He farted in their direction and holding the Butt shard it fueled their fartomancy for a long time.  Butt started organziing them into an army, so they could attack Odium.

Meanwhile, Conflict liked watching the upcoming battle.  He had been busy on Scadrial making Inquisitors and other such things that would help him bring conflict to the entire cosmere.  Butt didn’t know what awaited him.

Just for anyone who doesn’t remember, Conflict is Sazed, who holds Ruin, Preservation, and Cultivation, which causes conflict in him, so that became his Shard.  Now he likes bringing conflict wherever he goes.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

just so you know I've been gone since page 37. I'll try my best.

Something in the background exploded dramatically, throwing a red glow on the army.

[whattheHoid she/her]

The red glow touched the Fartomancer army and only those with the strongest of wills weren't affected by the glow, Butt Venture being one of them. The rest started to mutate into hideous, globulous creatures whose Farting power was increased dramatically. Just looking at them made one want to run and than the smell hit you. Conflict started to giggle with delight and Odium looked at the hideous creatures in disgusted delight. "Touché, Conflict. Nice moves for a beginner. But you haven't seen anything yet!" Thought Odium.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Another explosion sounded.

[Devout Pathian]

And another explosion sounded, but that one was irrelevant.

[whattheHoid she/her]

The Fartomancers that remained wondered how such an explosion could be irrelevant. But than regretted their moment of pondering only to be blasted halfway across the Cosmere somewhere within Shadesmar. Immediately, they became flanked with hoardes of Cryptic salesmen.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

As was the ghanderflffle plotbombing in the background.

Edit: ninja'd.

Edited June 16, 2018 by Gancho Libre

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

The ghanderflaffle was the grandson of the irrelevant explosion.

[whattheHoid she/her]

The ghanderflaffle was irritated that it was in any way related to the irrelevant explosion, so it decided to become one of the biggest explosions out of its whole family. It proceeded to try to blow up one of Butt's deadly Fart Bombs. This was a mistake.

[Apollyon he/him]

This ghanderflaffle's smeller part was already damaged, so it didn't really care. The whole of civilization did, on the other hand, care just a little bit.

[Devout Pathian]

But not a whole lot, since the people were already used to Butt and his fartomancers.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

The Ghanderflaffle, because he was angry that he was related to the explosion, then told everyone posting to, from now on, post only in rhymes.

starting now.

[whattheHoid she/her]

My god only in rhymes!!? Ok time to channel my inner Listener and go!

The people of the Cosmere were getting so tired, of being so mired. The smell was getting too wired; and made all the florists get fired.

They couldn't make the flowers mask; so instead they all had to bask in a cask.

Storms, I suck poetry! 

[Apollyon he/him]

The cask was filled with a flask of goo. The slime helped people to rhyme, and that’s all I have for you.

[whattheHoid she/her]

@Gancho Libre is positivitely evil, making us rhyme is medieval. 

[Apollyon he/him]

It is simply so cruel, I can’t help but consider stringing his intestines in a spool.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Our story is a tale of woe, but hopefully it won't blow.

Our hero, Sir Butt is off on his adventures, while we toil with our ventures.

Hopefully, Odium will take our pain soon before we all fall to gloom.

[5ith Ideal he/him]

I'm new to this thread, but I can pretend

that Fartomancers aren't cancers

[Gancho Libre he/him]

The waffles he ate smelled like garbanzo beans,

but unfortunately for him, he tasted latrine.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Butt spewed out that nasty food; it put him in quite the mood. He kept thinking, "Dude! I'm so screwed! My Fartomancy has made my taste buds turn lewd!" 

Odium sat back with glee and enjoying his camaraderie with his pal, Harmony, whilst drinking some tea.

[Kidpen he/him]

Then Odium punched Butt in the face, and said "I really really really hate rhymes"