The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Gancho Libre he/him]

He stayed prostrate until he ran out of tears and started crying out sweat, which hurt. Once he ran out of sweat, he just lay there.

For eventy-three years, five months, seventeen days, six hours, ten minutes, and forty-two seconds.

[Apollyon he/him]

His sorrow then ended. A friendly ghanderflaffle had come and but their loving bicep 'round Butt's shoulders, giving him strength to continue.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Then, in a fit of remembrance of the ghanderflaffle who was crushed so long ago, the ghanderflaffle burbled in disgust and started scratching at Butt's face.

[Apollyon he/him]

It hurt. A lot.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

However, it wasn't fatal because the ghanderflaffle had a nasty habit of biting its nails. 

[Apollyon he/him]

But Butt could think of a worse one.

Edit: thumbs up if you get the reference

Edited June 25, 2018 by Apollyon

[Gancho Libre he/him]

I guess i'm getting a thumbs down  I'll wait for someone else to say it, because I dont know.

It was a very bad habit indeed.

[whattheHoid she/her]

I don't get the reference either.

Butt's face hurt pretty bad, but he finally decided to pick himself up. Unfortunately, his legs turned to jelly from laying in his sorrow for so many years. He managed to immobilize the ghanderflaffle for enough time to use it as a sled. Somehow, it worked and on the way he bumped into Nazh, who was busy frantically drawing a map.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

It was a map of the Chicago subway systems. But because that isn't in the Cosmere, neither of them had any idea what it represented.

[whattheHoid she/her]

They both looked at each other confused. "The things I put up with to please Khriss." Nazh said. "If you don't know what it is you're drawing; how did you know to draw it in the first place?" asked Butt. "Dammed if I know. You look like rust, by the way. What happened to you?" said Nazh. Butt tried to explain, but couldn't remember. "Oh no!" thought Butt.

[Devout Pathian]

He had forgotten everything about his life except for Uncle Brandy and of course the ghanderflaffle.

[Apollyon he/him]

And, of course, his love of the word irrelevant. But that was irrelevant.

[Devout Pathian]

So he started sobbing again in a corner (although he had forgotten that he had just done that) because he hated Uncle Brandy and couldn’t remember anything else.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Sobbing the second time around was a bit painful for Butt as he still hadn't replenished his body fluids. It was also a bit painful because a pencil grazed his face. You see, upon hearing about the ghanderflaffle, Nazh stood up suddenly and threw his pencil. Nazh and the ghanderflaffle had had a falling out not to recently and was embarrassed.

[Devout Pathian]

“Who are you?” Butt asked Nazh while sobbing.  “I don’t even remember whom you are. And why did you throw a pencil at me?” 

“It’s actually ‘who’ in that case,” Nazh corrected. “And we haven’t meet before this so, I’m not sure why you’re so upset.  Unless of course it was the pencil.”

“I don’t even remeber proper grammar,” Butt sobbed not caring that he hurt from the pencil.

[Nerd3.14159265358979 he/him]

Then someone punched him, and he remembered everything except Uncle Brandy and the ghanderflaffle. He remembered his love of the word irrelevant, though.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

In order to be remembered, a ghanderflaffle somersaulted into the fray.

[Apollyon he/him]

Butt teared up at this. The ghanderflaffle was a beautiful sight.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Then he remembered that ghanderflaffles are, genetically, something of a grotesque creature to the eyes of humans. And, as they smell terrible, Butt soon found himself crying for a different reason.

[Apollyon he/him]

That reason was the horrible condition of the ghanderflaffle. It was sick, and practically demanded Butt’s love.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

So Butt ran away, screaming. He had tangled with love before, with his beloved Pineapple. He had ended up eating said Pineapple and swore never again to meddle with such things.

[Apollyon he/him]

So Butt held up his hand, with his other firmly planted on The Chull at Dusk, and started to swear an oath to never engage in love again. So, as the Stormfather rumbled in approval, Butt began his oath. It went as follows.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

I WONT DO IT!!!!!

[Apollyon he/him]

The Stormfather wiped a single tear at the sheer heartfelt purity of Butt’s words. 

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Then he wiped another single tear. These two single tears decided to quit being single and marry.