Jump to content

The Longest Thread (Misadventures)


Recommended Posts

20 hours ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

The Once-Author just kinda sat there super confused as people did stuff.

The Real Nameless was suddenly given a single moment of near-sentience by an unknown source, which it used to crawl over to the Once-Author and grab his arm with a partially-melted appendage.

Everyone is confused,” it said in a raspy, barely comprehensible tone. “Just pretend to know what’s going on and you’ll be fine. That’s what they all do.”

The moment of sentience passed, and the poor creature’s ‘hand’ dropped to the ground and continued melting like the rest of it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

30 minutes ago, NameIess said:

The Real Nameless was suddenly given a single moment of near-sentience by an unknown source, which it used to crawl over to the Once-Author and grab his arm with a partially-melted appendage.

Everyone is confused,” it said in a raspy, barely comprehensible tone. “Just pretend to know what’s going on and you’ll be fine. That’s what they all do.”

The moment of sentience passed, and the poor creature’s ‘hand’ dropped to the ground and continued melting like the rest of it.

The Once-Author stumbled back, distressed. That's... new... 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

The Once-Author stumbled back, distressed. That's... new... 

The Real Nameless finished melting into a puddle and began killing all the wildlife in a ten-mile area.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

The Once-Author yelps and begins a desperate attempt to stop the killing.

Unfortunately, the puddle of Real Nameless juice was simply too toxic.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

The Once-Author moans. This was really getting exhausting. So he took a jar that could resist the toxicity and stuck the puddle in it.

The jar filled with The Real Nameless juice was a very valuable item. Some people thought that drinking it would bestow immortality.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, NameIess said:

The jar filled with The Real Nameless juice was a very valuable item. Some people thought that drinking it would bestow immortality.

The Once-Author was skeptical, but decided to give it to said Some people to test their theory.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

The Once-Author was skeptical, but decided to give it to said Some people to test their theory.

The Said Some People happily chugged the entire jar of The Real Nameless juice.

They promptly exploded.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, NameIess said:

The Said Some People happily chugged the entire jar of The Real Nameless juice.

They promptly exploded.

The Once-Author determined that immortality was not bestowed by the juice. So he collected it in a jar again and locked it away in a castle.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, NameIess said:

The Real Nameless was suddenly given a single moment of near-sentience by an unknown source, which it used to crawl over to the Once-Author and grab his arm with a partially-melted appendage.

Everyone is confused,” it said in a raspy, barely comprehensible tone. “Just pretend to know what’s going on and you’ll be fine. That’s what they all do.”

The moment of sentience passed, and the poor creature’s ‘hand’ dropped to the ground and continued melting like the rest of it.

Hacob wondered if Everyone was personified or non-personified. It greatly changed the context of the statement. Then he disappeared as his Author went to go take a test.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

The Once-Author determined that immortality was not bestowed by the juice. So he collected it in a jar again and locked it away in a castle.

Every adventurer in the land heard the story of The Real Nameless juice and came to the logical conclusion that it really did bestow immortality, and that the Once-Author just didn't want anyone to become immortal. So they all began plotting to storm the castle.

Edited by NameIess
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, NameIess said:

Every adventurer in the land heard the story of The Real Nameless juice and came to the logical conclusion that it really did bestow immortality, and that the Once-Author just didn't want anyone to become immortal. So they all began plotting to storm the castle.

The Once-Author desperately fortified the castle and tried to spread rumors that it just made people explode. Soon the castle was so fortified not even Indiana Jones could get in.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, Ancient Elantrian said:

The Once-Author desperately fortified the castle and tried to spread rumors that it just made people explode. Soon the castle was so fortified not even Indiana Jones could get in.

An announcer's voice came from the sky.

"Introducing, IMBIAMBA JOMBES! (He's like Indiana Jones, but better.) He will be attempting to breach the castle and return with the Real Nameless JuiceTM to give it to the people. Timers, are you ready?"

A group of timers all give a thumbs up.

"On your mark, get set..."

"GO!!!!!!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Immortal Platypus said:

An announcer's voice came from the sky.

"Introducing, IMBIAMBA JOMBES! (He's like Indiana Jones, but better.) He will be attempting to breach the castle and return with the Real Nameless JuiceTM to give it to the people. Timers, are you ready?"

A group of timers all give a thumbs up.

"On your mark, get set..."

"GO!!!!!!"

The Once-Author jumps, wondering where the voice came from. Then he hears about Imbiama Jombes. He begins to panic, he wasn't prepared for that!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

The Once-Author desperately fortified the castle and tried to spread rumors that it just made people explode. Soon the castle was so fortified not even Indiana Jones could get in.

The adventurers took those rumors as confirmation that The Real Nameless juice granted immortality and continued plotting to break into the castle and claim their prize.

The most prominent group was made up of some of the most incredible and famous obscure adventurers of all time. It included members such as Barioth, an old man who wanted to claim the juice to save the life of his granddaughter, his only living family, Emery, a woman who wanted it to save her childhood friend from a terrible and fatal disease, and Praeth, a young man who wanted to save his true love.

Their plan was simple. They, some of the greatest and most powerful adventurers ever, would sneak around the back while Imbiama Jombes distracted all the defenses with his frontal assault.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

55 minutes ago, Immortal Platypus said:

Hacob wondered if Everyone was personified or non-personified. It greatly changed the context of the statement. Then he disappeared as his Author went to go take a test.

Everyone nodded in agreement, stirring a completely open can of Sprite with a teaspoon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, NameIess said:

I think he’s busy with tests.

Lame.

36 minutes ago, Sequence said:

Everyone nodded in agreement, stirring a completely open can of Sprite with a teaspoon.

The Once-Author stares confused as someone opens Sprite with a teaspoon. Why would you do that???

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...