The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

The Once-Author just kinda sat there super confused as people did stuff.

[NameIess]

20 hours ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

The Once-Author just kinda sat there super confused as people did stuff.

The Real Nameless was suddenly given a single moment of near-sentience by an unknown source, which it used to crawl over to the Once-Author and grab his arm with a partially-melted appendage.

“Everyone is confused,” it said in a raspy, barely comprehensible tone. “Just pretend to know what’s going on and you’ll be fine. That’s what they all do.”

The moment of sentience passed, and the poor creature’s ‘hand’ dropped to the ground and continued melting like the rest of it.

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

30 minutes ago, NameIess said:

The Real Nameless was suddenly given a single moment of near-sentience by an unknown source, which it used to crawl over to the Once-Author and grab his arm with a partially-melted appendage.

“Everyone is confused,” it said in a raspy, barely comprehensible tone. “Just pretend to know what’s going on and you’ll be fine. That’s what they all do.”

The moment of sentience passed, and the poor creature’s ‘hand’ dropped to the ground and continued melting like the rest of it.

The Once-Author stumbled back, distressed. That's... new... 

[NameIess]

5 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

The Once-Author stumbled back, distressed. That's... new... 

The Real Nameless finished melting into a puddle and began killing all the wildlife in a ten-mile area.

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

4 minutes ago, NameIess said:

The Real Nameless finished melting into a puddle and began killing all the wildlife in a ten-mile area.

The Once-Author yelps and begins a desperate attempt to stop the killing.

[NameIess]

1 minute ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

The Once-Author yelps and begins a desperate attempt to stop the killing.

Unfortunately, the puddle of Real Nameless juice was simply too toxic.

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

2 minutes ago, NameIess said:

Unfortunately, the puddle of Real Nameless juice was simply too toxic.

The Once-Author moans. This was really getting exhausting. So he took a jar that could resist the toxicity and stuck the puddle in it.

[NameIess]

1 minute ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

The Once-Author moans. This was really getting exhausting. So he took a jar that could resist the toxicity and stuck the puddle in it.

The jar filled with The Real Nameless juice was a very valuable item. Some people thought that drinking it would bestow immortality.

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

Just now, NameIess said:

The jar filled with The Real Nameless juice was a very valuable item. Some people thought that drinking it would bestow immortality.

The Once-Author was skeptical, but decided to give it to said Some people to test their theory.

[NameIess]

1 minute ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

The Once-Author was skeptical, but decided to give it to said Some people to test their theory.

The Said Some People happily chugged the entire jar of The Real Nameless juice.

They promptly exploded.

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

3 minutes ago, NameIess said:

The Said Some People happily chugged the entire jar of The Real Nameless juice.

They promptly exploded.

The Once-Author determined that immortality was not bestowed by the juice. So he collected it in a jar again and locked it away in a castle.

[Immortal Platypus]

1 hour ago, NameIess said:

The Real Nameless was suddenly given a single moment of near-sentience by an unknown source, which it used to crawl over to the Once-Author and grab his arm with a partially-melted appendage.

“Everyone is confused,” it said in a raspy, barely comprehensible tone. “Just pretend to know what’s going on and you’ll be fine. That’s what they all do.”

The moment of sentience passed, and the poor creature’s ‘hand’ dropped to the ground and continued melting like the rest of it.

Hacob wondered if Everyone was personified or non-personified. It greatly changed the context of the statement. Then he disappeared as his Author went to go take a test.

[NameIess]

5 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

The Once-Author determined that immortality was not bestowed by the juice. So he collected it in a jar again and locked it away in a castle.

Every adventurer in the land heard the story of The Real Nameless juice and came to the logical conclusion that it really did bestow immortality, and that the Once-Author just didn't want anyone to become immortal. So they all began plotting to storm the castle.

Edited May 7, 2024 by NameIess

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

5 minutes ago, NameIess said:

Every adventurer in the land heard the story of The Real Nameless juice and came to the logical conclusion that it really did bestow immortality, and that the Once-Author just didn't want anyone to become immortal. So they all began plotting to storm the castle.

The Once-Author desperately fortified the castle and tried to spread rumors that it just made people explode. Soon the castle was so fortified not even Indiana Jones could get in.

[Immortal Platypus]

Just now, Ancient Elantrian said:

The Once-Author desperately fortified the castle and tried to spread rumors that it just made people explode. Soon the castle was so fortified not even Indiana Jones could get in.

An announcer's voice came from the sky.

"Introducing, IMBIAMBA JOMBES! (He's like Indiana Jones, but better.) He will be attempting to breach the castle and return with the Real Nameless JuiceTM to give it to the people. Timers, are you ready?"

A group of timers all give a thumbs up.

"On your mark, get set..."

"GO!!!!!!"

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

2 minutes ago, Immortal Platypus said:

An announcer's voice came from the sky.

"Introducing, IMBIAMBA JOMBES! (He's like Indiana Jones, but better.) He will be attempting to breach the castle and return with the Real Nameless JuiceTM to give it to the people. Timers, are you ready?"

A group of timers all give a thumbs up.

"On your mark, get set..."

"GO!!!!!!"

The Once-Author jumps, wondering where the voice came from. Then he hears about Imbiama Jombes. He begins to panic, he wasn't prepared for that!

[NameIess]

2 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

The Once-Author desperately fortified the castle and tried to spread rumors that it just made people explode. Soon the castle was so fortified not even Indiana Jones could get in.

The adventurers took those rumors as confirmation that The Real Nameless juice granted immortality and continued plotting to break into the castle and claim their prize.

The most prominent group was made up of some of the most incredible and famous obscure adventurers of all time. It included members such as Barioth, an old man who wanted to claim the juice to save the life of his granddaughter, his only living family, Emery, a woman who wanted it to save her childhood friend from a terrible and fatal disease, and Praeth, a young man who wanted to save his true love.

Their plan was simple. They, some of the greatest and most powerful adventurers ever, would sneak around the back while Imbiama Jombes distracted all the defenses with his frontal assault.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

55 minutes ago, Immortal Platypus said:

Hacob wondered if Everyone was personified or non-personified. It greatly changed the context of the statement. Then he disappeared as his Author went to go take a test.

Everyone nodded in agreement, stirring a completely open can of Sprite with a teaspoon.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

*cough cough* @Immortal Platypus *cough cough*

[NameIess]

9 minutes ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

*cough cough* @Immortal Platypus *cough cough*

I think he’s busy with tests.

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

Just now, NameIess said:

I think he’s busy with tests.

Lame.

36 minutes ago, Sequence said:

Everyone nodded in agreement, stirring a completely open can of Sprite with a teaspoon.

The Once-Author stares confused as someone opens Sprite with a teaspoon. Why would you do that???

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

3 minutes ago, NameIess said:

I think he’s busy with tests.

Fair enough.

[Immortal Platypus]

1 hour ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

*cough cough* @Immortal Platypus *cough cough*

I would love to. Don't think I've forgotten, I'm just super busy. AP test in two days and I need to get all my assignments for that class done before then

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Just now, Immortal Platypus said:

I would love to. Don't think I've forgotten, I'm just super busy. AP test in two days and I need to get all my assignments for that class done before then

Fair, yeah. There are more important things than punching doors.

[Immortal Platypus]

1 minute ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

Fair, yeah. There are more important things than punching doors.

I will break down that door