The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

However, the small pancake shops decided to organize and confront Kelsier in a cook-off of epic proportions.

[Edema Rue she/her]

But as everyone knows, Kelsier can’t cook. That was Mare’s job. 

[NameIess]

And since she was dead, that meant it was up to Lift. Fortunately, she'd been taking lessons from Rock.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

She took everything she had and threw it in a pot.

[Immortal Platypus]

The pot boiled and bubbled and steamed and overflowed and exploded (only 3 times though).

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

And then somebody threw flip flops from the rafters, and the stew was instantly perfect.

[Immortal Platypus]

But then the small pancake shops sabotaged Lift.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

However, nobody could tell of this was good or bad, because nobody had been paying attention.

 

[Edema Rue she/her]

Yes, Odysseus knew that it was, in fact, a bad thing. He had been paying attention. 

[Immortal Platypus]

Then they (the pancake shops) threw a bunch of sandals and socks into the stew to try to sabotage again.

Edited November 24, 2022 by Ookla the platypus

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

However, as they were not covered in grapes, this did nothing.

[Immortal Platypus]

"No!" cried the owners of the pancake shops.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

Then, the pancake owners each received a billion dollars from a YouTube channel that nobody knew had been started.

[Immortal Platypus]

what youtube channel

The pancake owners forfeit and go to live better lives in the middle of Qatar.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

The YouTube channel that made them rich

Qatar enjoyed having billionaires.

[Immortal Platypus]

if no one knew it had started, how did they have the money?

Their neighbors, Singapore, however did not appreciate Qatar having billionaires so they tried to kidnap them.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

But the quaking mountains unearthed many pretty gems.

[Immortal Platypus]

when did the mountains quake?

Singapore immediately abandoned the plot and began mining gems.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

When Singapore tried to kidnap the billionaires

this made them happy.

 

[Immortal Platypus]

They also now have billionaires.

Edited November 24, 2022 by Ookla the platypus

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

The billionaires built spaceships and went to live in the TRAPPIST-1 system, because why not.

[Immortal Platypus]

But they shouldn't have because it was already inhabited.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

By Santa.

[Ranryu she/her]

And his horribly mutated genetic experiments, which he called ELFS. 

That's right, kids. Santa's not as nice as you thought he was.

[Immortal Platypus]

The acronym stands for Eliminate Long Furry Socks.